Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds After hours
by Talespinner69
Summary: Join good friends Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler as they travel to a number of various locations to interact with the locals and go on a series of adventures. (Warning: This WILL be a crack fic)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter one: Yusei and friends do Equestria

It was a fine day in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. (1) Yusei Fudo was getting some coffee at a local name brand coffee shop with his friends Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan, and Kalin Kessler. "Pfft, that's nothing," Crow said as the guys were enjoying their coffee, "Why, this one time, Brianna and I were pulled over by a cop but the cop let us go since he thought Brianna was pregnant."

"Wait, why did the cop think that your girlfriend was pregnant?" Kalin asked, arching an eyebrow in confusion.

"Brianna and I were grabbing some lunch for the rest of the cast and crew of the film that Jack's girlfriend Carly was making for the upcoming Film Festival," Crow explained, "We didn't bother getting out of our costumes before leaving. Brianna especially, seeing as how her role as a four-hundred-pound rich woman requires her to wear a fat suit." Taking a sip from his coffee before he went on with his story, Crow continued, "Do you _know_ how long it takes to put on a fat suit?"

"Well, at least Carly's gotten her film finished," Yusei remarked, then said when he turned to face Jack, "What kind of movie did your girlfriend say she was making?"

"She said it's supposed to be a murder mystery slash comedy," Jack explained. After taking a sip of his coffee, Jack said, "I have no bloody idea how the hell she's going to pull that off, though."

"Oh, I talked Carly into throwing a few fart jokes into her film," Crow said casually, "You can never go wrong with a few well-placed bits of toilet humor."

"…I hate you," Jack said to Crow, a deadpan look on his face.

...

After Yusei and his friends finished their coffee, they all proceeded to walk back to Jack's penthouse, which is now located on the ground instead on top of a tall building for some reason. They walked back because they walked to the coffee shop because they felt like not using their duel runners. As Yusei and company walked up the front driveway of the penthouse, Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, appeared in front of them.

"I am now going to send the four of you to Equestria," Discord said to the humans, "For no particular reason!"

"Ah shit," Kalin muttered, clearly not looking like he liked where this was apparently going.

"Wait, no, don't!" Jack exclaimed, but it was too late; Discord snapped his fingers, and in a puff of smoke (2), Yusei and company vanished.

As Discord stood there, he heard the front door open behind him. Turning around, he came face-to-face with Akiza Izinski, who is dating Yusei because that is what everyone thinks she should be doing apparently. Seeing that she had a visitor, Akiza decided to be nice to him. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" Akiza offered, "I'm making a pot roast."

"That sounds lovely, good miss. Thank you," Discord replied kindly, and followed Akiza inside the penthouse when she invited him in.

* * *

In another puff of smoke that was the exact same as the first one, Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin appeared standing on a dirt road in a pastel-colored world. "Why does this place look the last time I did drugs?" Jack asked rhetorically.

"I think we're somewhere just outside of Ponyville," Crow remarked.

"Wait a minute," Kalin said, "Crow, how would you know that?"

"Brianna is a pegasister," Crow explained, "In fact, I've watched twelve episodes of the show myself, but that's only because Brianna had it playing while we were doing the deed."

"So, can we assume that to mean that you have the biggest working knowledge of this world?" Yusei asked.

Shrugging in an indifferent manner, Crow replied, "I don't know. Probably."

"HUMANS!" a female voice exclaimed excitedly; suddenly, Crow was glomped by Lyra.

Sighing, Crow said, "Hello, Lyra Heartstrings."

"How do you know this pony's name if you've only watched the shows because your girlfriend had it playing while the two of you were screwing each other?" Jack asked.

"Brianna pointed it out to me," Crow explained, "According to her, this pony is obsessed with humans."

Lyra, oblivious to everything that the humans were saying, continued to squeeze Crow tightly. Sighing, Crow said, "Yup." To Lyra, Crow said, "Hey pony, I wanna teach you a secret human greeting."

Gasping in excitement, Lyra said, "Really?! I get to learn something that humans do?!"

"Just let go of me first," Crow replied, and as a result Lyra instantly let go of Crow, standing at attention while regarding Crow with the utmost respect. "Right," Crow continued, "Anywho, for this greeting to work, I need you to turn around so that you're facing the same direction that I'm facing." After Lyra complied, Crow pulled out his Sig Sauer 9MM while saying, "Good, good." Aiming the gun at the back of Lyra's head, Crow continued, "Now then, this is the most important part about the secret human greeting…"

*BLAM*

After Lyra's body fell limply to the ground, Crow holstered his gun as he turned to face his friends.

Sighing in exasperation, Jack said, "Crow, can't you go one fucking day without committing manslaughter?"

"These are ponies, not humans," Crow replied as he holstered his gun, "I think we're fine."

"Let's just go," Yusei remarked in a mildly annoyed tone, "I'm pretty sure that someone heard the noise Crow's gun made, so there will probably be some investigation." And with that, Crow led his friends down the road they were on.

* * *

Deciding that they would cover more ground if they split up, Yusei and Jack headed in the direction of Twilight's castle, while Crow took Kalin to 'go exploring', as Crow put it (3). After walking up the front steps to the front door of Twilight's castle, Yusei knocked on it a couple of times. Within a few seconds, the door was opened by Spike.

Looking directly as Yusei and Jack, Spike said, "Uhh…who and what are you?"

"We're humans," Yusei greeted, "Some dragon-looking motherfucker with mismatched body parts teleported my friends and I here for no damn reason whatsoever."

"…Yeah, that sounds like Discord, alright," Spike sighed. Turning around, the baby dragon gestured for the humans to follow him while saying, "Well, Twilight can probably help you guys out. Come on in."

As Yusei and Jack walked into Twilight's castle, the two of them looked around. "Bloody hell, this place is huge," Jack remarked in a clearly impressed tone, "How much did it cost to build this place?"

"Not one bit," Spike replied, "It was bestowed upon Twilight by the Tree of Harmony for saving Equestria since her old place was destroyed in the process of saving everypony."

"Every _pony_?" Yusei thought in confusion, shaking his head to clear his mind of confusion.

* * *

Over at Fluttershy's cottage, Fluttershy was brushing her mane out in front of her bedroom mirror, humming a happy little tune to herself as she did so. As her eyes were closed, the timid Pegasus did not see Crow's reflection in the mirror; if she did, then not only would she know that some strange creature was sneaking up on her, but that he held a bowie knife in his right hand.

Outside of Fluttershy's cottage, Kalin was sitting on the ground behind the cottage beneath Fluttershy's bedroom window, looking through his deck of Duel Monsters cards to keep himself entertained. Crow climbed out of Fluttershy's bedroom a few minutes after he climbed in; when Kalin looked up to see Crow, he noticed that the Blackwing user had some blood on his shirt. Sighing, Kalin said as he got up, "Tell me again why you wanted to kill this Rainbow Dash character."

"That bitch killed my good friend Starscream," Crow swore, "I wanted vengeance!"

"Well now that you killed her, can we try to meet up with Yusei and Jack?" Kalin asked.

"Well first, we need to secure some wealth," Crow explained, "According to the various fanfics on the subject that Brianna read along with the two on the subject that Brianna wrote, whenever a human is stuck in this world, they're usually stuck there for a while, quite possibly forever. That being said, we should probably start our new lives here by getting some money."

"Since you know the most about this world, can you at least tell me what the currency is called so that I don't sound like a jackass when I'm trying to buy something to eat?" Kalin replied.

"The currency is called bits," Crow said, "I think they're little golden coins. Although Brianna said a few times that gems are also used occasionally."

"So, what," Kalin began, "Are we going to get some jobs in town so that we can earn a living while we're stuck here?"

"Pfft, fuck that!" Crow replied, "I know just the place where we can get all the gems we need so that we won't have to work a day in our lives ever again!" Pointing in a random direction with a bowie knife whose blade is covered in blood, Crow said, "To Carousel Boutique!"

* * *

Back at Twilight's castle, Yusei and Jack sat at the friendship table with Twilight, Spike and Starlight Glimmer. Twilight was in her chair, Spike in his next to Twilight, Starlight stood next to Spike's chair, Yusei sat in Applejack's chair, and Jack sat in Rarity's chair. (4)

"So then," Twilight said as she faced Yusei and Jack, "The two of you are humans that were teleported to Equestria by Discord."

"Yes, that is correct," Yusei replied with a nod.

Sighing in an exasperated manner, Twilight said, "Well then, we'll just have to wait for Discord to get back so we can get him to return you and your friends to your world. If anything, we can get Fluttershy to tell Discord to do it."

"So, where the fuck are the boys and I going to stay while we're stuck here in Pony land?" Jack asked the princess of friendship.

"Frist off, I'm going to have to ask that you watch your language," Twilight said, "Second off, it's called 'Ponyville'. Thirdly, I'm going to let you and your group of friends stay here in the Castle of Friendship."

"You're seriously going to let us crash here?" Yusei asked, "Wow, that's pretty generous of you, your highness."

"Actually, this will work out for the best of us," Twilight replied, "I've always wanted to study humans ever since I read the book that Lyra published."

"You want to study us?" Jack asked, looking three parts insulted, seven parts confused.

"Twilight has something of a habit of wanting to study everything," Starlight remarked, "You better get used to it while you're staying here."

Yusei and Jack turned to look at each other. "…Do we have to stay here?" Jack whispered.

"Hey, it's either this, or living in the woods, or letting Crow secure some lodgings for us," Yusei whispered back. Giving Jack a knowing look, Yusei whispered, "I don't know about you, but I personally don't want to take any chances while we're stuck here in a foreign land in a foreign world."

"…Point taken," Jack replied reluctantly.

* * *

Over at Carousel Boutique, Rarity was using her sewing machine, humming happily to herself as she worked. Suddenly, someone covered her mouth with a damp cloth; struggling for a bit, Rarity eventually passed out, falling over off of her stool. Standing over the knocked-out Rarity was Crow, a cloth damp with chloroform in his right hand.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask how you can carry a gun, a bowie knife, a washcloth and a bottle of chloroform on hand without having any sort of bag to carry it all in," Kalin said to Crow as the latter proceeded to take a large pillowcase out from a pants pocket and fill it with the gems in a chest in the one corner of the room that they were in.

"The gun and knife are in holsters hidden on my person," Crow explained, "As for the cloth and chloroform, I have very big pockets on these pants."

"That also explains the pillowcase," Kalin remarked dryly.

As Crow put the last of the gems from the chest into the pillowcase, he and Kalin heard the door on the ground floor open, along with a young female voice calling out, "Rarity, I'm back from school! Can my friends and I borrow your duct tape for a project?"

"I think that's Rarity's little sister," Crow said. Knocking on the side of his head with his right knuckles, Crow said, "Shit! What was her name again?"

"Why do you care?" Kalin asked, "You're just going to kill her to keep from having any witnesses."

"Dude, I'm not going to kill Rarity's little sister," Crow replied, "She's Brianna's favorite character!"

"Rarity?" the voice called from downstairs, "Are you home?"

Looking to Kalin, Crow harshly whispered, "Don't make a sound."

…

Down on the first floor of Carousel Boutique, Sweetie Belle was wondering where her big sister was. Diamond Tiara's mom was being mean again, so Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon asked Sweetie Belle and the other crusaders for help. Sweetie Belle thought that the duct tape Rarity keeps would be helpful, so she was going to ask for it.

As Sweetie Belle looked around, someone snuck up behind Sweetie Belle and covered her mouth with a damp cloth; a few seconds later, Sweetie Belle passed out. Covering Sweetie's mouth with some duct tape from the roll he found in (and jacked from) the kitchen, Crow said to Kalin as he stuffed the little filly into the same pillowcase as the gems, "Well, let's get going."

" _Why am I letting Crow get away with this_?" Kalin thought to himself as he followed Crow out of Carousel Boutique.

* * *

Back at Twilight's castle, Yusei and Jack followed Twilight, Starlight and Spike outside. "Well then, I think we should start by finding your friends," Twilight said to the humans, "What are their names?"

"The first one is Kalin," Yusei explained, "He had long white hair and is about the same height as Jack and me, give or take an inch or two. The second one is Crow. He's somewhat shorter than Jack, Kalin and me, has orange hair that sticks up like a broom's bristles, and his face is covered in various yellow markings."

"Be warned that Crow likes to commit larceny," Jack stated, drawing a shocked look from Twilight, "He's also committed kidnapping, grand theft auto, homicide, and he runs his own smuggling ring back home."

"You're friends with a criminal?!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Actually, if I'm to be completely honest here, out of me, Jack, Crow and Kalin, the only one who does not have a criminal record is Jack," Yusei remarked, "But then again, the worst that Kalin and I have ever done are misdemeanors. In fact, this one time, I was acquitted of a crime that I was accused of."

Seeing the shocked reaction on Twilight's face, Yusei said, "Yeah. Human society is far seedier compared to pony society. But don't worry. My friends and I will be on our best behavior while we're here."

"I should certainly hope so," Twilight replied, shaking her head mildly as she tried to regain her composure.

"I'm not so sure that you can speak for Birdbrain, Yusei," Jack remarked casually.

* * *

As Crow and Kalin walked through Ponyville, they were approached by Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Behind the two crusaders were Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"Excuse me, sirs," Apple Bloom greeted without batting an eye at the fact that she was talking to two strange creatures that she had never seen before, "But have either of you two seen me and Scootaloo's friend Sweetie Belle? We need her help with something."

"No, we haven't," Crow replied with a shake of his head.

Eyeing Crow and Kalin with a curious expression, Scootaloo said, "What sort of ponies are you two?"

"My friend and I aren't ponies, we're humans," Kalin replied, "My name is Kalin, and this is Crow."

"Wait a minute," Silver Spoon said, "Humans are real?! Then that Lyra mare wasn't crazy!"

"Are you two the only humans here?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Me and Crow's friends Yusei and Jack are over at some castle here in town," Kalin replied.

"Oh, you mean Princess Twilight's castle," Diamond Tiara remarked. To the other fillies, Diamond Tiara said, "Girls, I think we should ask the princess for help."

"Help with what?" Crow asked.

"Diamond Tiara's mom is being mean again," Scootaloo explained, "She wants to tear down our school's new playground equipment, saying that it's a distraction to the students. But in reality, she's just mad at the other crusaders and I because Diamond Tiara is friends with us now."

"Mom can't really have the playground equipment torn down," Diamond Tiara remarked, "Dad paid for it, and he'll be mad if mom goes through with her plan."

"You know, you four girls seem like nice kids," Crow began, "Tell you what." Pointing to Diamond Tiara, Crow said, "I'll go talk to your mom, see what I can do to change her mind."

"Are you sure that will work?" Diamond Tiara asked while giving Crow a skeptical look.

"Pfft," Crow said as he waived his hand in a dismissive gesture at the pink filly, "It's no biggie at all. I'm pretty fucking good at convincing people, you know."

"Well don't you have a potty-mouth," Apple Bloom remarked at Crow, "Why, I can't even say the word 'peeved' without my big sister Applejack forcefully washing my mouth out with a bar of soap."

"…Seriously?" Crow asked while giving the little filly a deadpan look, "The word 'peeved' is a cruse word in these parts?"

"It's a really bad word," Scootaloo remarked with a mild wince, "Although it's nothing compared to the 'F' word you just used."

Sighing in an exasperated manner, Crow said, "Look, do the four of you want me to talk to your friend's mom, yes or no?"

"If you would be so kind as to do so, then the girls and I certainly won't stop you," Diamond Tiara replied. Turning to face her friends, the pink filly said, "Right, girls?"

"Yeah, and while he's talking to your mom, we can look for Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo said.

Smiling, Diamond Tiara clapped her front hooves together while saying, "Everypony wins!"

" _I_ ' _m not even going to bother to correct her_ ," Kalin thought as he followed Crow in the direction that Diamond Tiara pointed out.

* * *

Over in the Ponyville market, Yusei and Jack were following Twilight, Starlight and Spike when Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash came up to them. "Yo, Twi," Rainbow Dash greeted. Spotting Yusei and Jack, the cyan Pegasus pointed to them and said, "Uhh, who and what are they?"

"Oh girls, these are my new guests Yusei and Jack," Twilight replied. To the humans, Twilight said, "Yusei, Jack, these are my friends Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie."

"I'm…going to assume that Pinkie Pie is the one that's mostly pink in color," Jack remarked.

"Well duh," Pinkie replied in a good-humored tone, "It's be weird if my name was Pinkie Pie and I was mostly brown. Then I'd be Brownie Pie."

"Is…is she on drugs?" Jack asked, mildly alarmed by how carefree the pink party pony was being.

"No, she's not," Rainbow replied with a confused frown, "Pinkie just consumes a lot of sugar in the baked treats she makes is all."

Leaning to his left, Yusei whispered into Jack's ear, "Well, at least she's on _some_ kind of white powdery substance." Hearing this made Jack snicker somewhat.

"Anywho Twi, can you answer the other part of my question?" Rainbow Dash repeated, "What are these guys supposed to be?"

"Jack and I are humans," Yusei explained, "We're trying to locate two other humans that are with us, named Crow and Kalin."

"I wouldn't know where they are, but if I see any humans other than the two of you, I'll give you a holler," Rainbow remarked.

"How did they even get here in the first place?" Pinkie Pie asked, tilting her head to the side slightly.

"Discord transported them here," Twilight explained with an exasperated sigh, "Most likely for his own bizarre amusement."

"I thought that Fluttershy convinced him not to do stuff like that anymore," Rainbow Dash said, arching an eyebrow in mild confusion.

"We'll just have to find Discord and get him to send Yusei and his friends back to their home," Twilight replied, "Maybe get Fluttershy to do her stare if it comes down to it. But before that, we have to find their friends."

"You girls should be careful," Spike added, "Jack said that one of his and Yusei's friends has a serious criminal record."

"It's the short one with a broom-like head," Jack stated, "You'll know him when you see him."

Nodding in understanding, Pinkie Pie took off in a different direction to help with the search for Crow and Kalin. Rainbow Dash was about to do so as well, but she stopped short. "Uhh, can you girls do me a favor while I'm looking for the other two humans?" Rainbow Dash asked, "Pinkie and I were already trying to find Scootaloo. I think I know not only why Scootaloo can't fly, but how to fix that problem."

"Really?!" Twilight remarked in a surprised tone, "You know how to help Scootaloo finally be able to fly?!"

Nodding in the affirmative, Rainbow Dash continued, "It's just an idea, but if what I think is true, then I can get her up off of the ground by her own wing-power within the next ten days."

"This is amazing!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly, "You gotta take notes on everything, Rainbow Dash! If your theory proves to be true, then notes on how to fix Scootaloo's flight problem can be of great use for future Pegasi who have the same flight problem as-"

"I get the point, egghead," Rainbow Dash replied with a knowing smile before taking off.

After Rainbow Dash was gone, Twilight turned to face Yusei and Jack. "Now then," Twilight said, "Can either of you give my friends and I a more detailed description of your friends?"

* * *

Spoiled Rich was walking to her private office back at the Rich estate. Thanks to her position as President of the Schoolboard, Spoiled Rich was able to dig up the dirt she needed to get those little brats known as the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' out of her mane. With them gone, Spoiled Rich would be able to, once again, mold her daughter into the mare that she needs to be if the Rich family name is to stay ahead of the commoners.

Opening the door to her office, Spoiled Rich walked in, then closed the door behind her. After turning around to face her desk, she saw that the high-backed swivel chair was turned so that its back was facing her. "…I don't remember leaving my chair like that when I was last here," Spoiled Rich said aloud to herself.

The chair turned around on its own, and to Spoiled Rich's shock, Crow was sitting in it. Smiling at the stunned-into-silence mare, Crow said, "Hello, Mrs. Rich. My name is Crow Hogan. I've been expecting you."

"What are you doing here?!" Spoiled Rich demanded angrily with a hint of fear in her tone, "Do you expect to rob me or something?!"

Smiling calmly, Crow pulled out his Sig Sauer 9MM and aimed it right as Spoiled Rich's forehead. "…No, Mrs. Rich," Crow replied, "I expect you to die."

*BLAM*

After Spoiled Rich's lifeless body crumpled to the floor, Crow looked at the right end of the desk he was sitting at, eyeing the beautifully detailed crystal glass dish full of candies. Crow took the dish, emptied its contents into a bag he had brought with him, then got up to leave. Pausing for a brief moment, Crow went back to the desk, took the crystal glass dish, and tossed it into the bag as well before taking off for real.

* * *

Over by the front entry gate to Sweet Apple Acres, Yusei and Jack were waiting with Twilight, Starlight and Spike. As they waited, Big Mac came walking over.

"Howdy there, Twilight," Big Mac greeted in a friendly tone, "If you're looking for Applejack, I'm afraid that you just missed her. You see, she's visiting relatives over in-" Big Mac stopped midsentence when his eyes fell on Yusei and Jack.

"…Friends of yours, I assume?" Big Mac remarked casually, not batting an eye at the strange creatures.

"Yes, they're friends of mine," Twilight replied, "And are you serious about Applejack not being here in Ponyville?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Big Mac said, "She left this morning."

"Well there goes getting Applejack's help, then," Twilight remarked sadly.

"There something the matter, Twilight?" Big Mac asked.

"Oh, I'm just trying to help Yusei and Jack find their friends Crow and Kalin," Twilight explained, "I already got Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie to help, and I promised Rainbow Dash that I'd keep an eye out for Scootaloo since she's trying to find her."

"Scootaloo will probably wonder on by the farm with Apple Bloom sometime later today," Big Mac remarked, "I'll give you a holler if I see the little filly."

As Twilight and Big Mac talked, Crow and Kalin walked onto the scene. To Yusei and Jack, Crow said, "'Sup, bitches?"

"Crow! Kalin! There you guys are!" Yusei exclaimed, "Where have you two been?"

"Oh, I've been helping these little girl ponies with a problem," Crow remarked.

"I've been trying to keep Crow from doing anything illegal," Kalin said, "I'm not familiar with any of the laws of this world at all, but I'm pretty sure that Crow broke at least one of them."

As the ponies and humans were talking, Discord appeared out of nowhere, rubbing his belly. "Mmm," Discord said, "That was a fine dinner that Akiza made." To Yusei, Discord said, "That female who lives at your place sure does know how to make a delicious meal. Can you believe that she was kind enough to invite me over for dinner?"

"Discord!" Twilight exclaimed, "Send Yusei and his friends home right now!"

Sighing, Discord said, "Fine, sure, whatever." With a snap of his fingers, Yusei and his friends vanished in the same poof of smoke that brought them to Equestria in the first place.

* * *

Back in the driveway of Jack's penthouse in New Domino City, Yusei and the guys looked around. Patting himself all over his chest, Jack said, "I'm back." Pumping both fists into the air, Jack joyously exclaimed, "I'M BACK!"

"Sweet skies above," Yusei remarked, "I hope that that never happens to us-"

Yusei was cut off when Discord appeared in front of them in the same manner in which he sent the guys to Equestria. " _ **WHO KILLED FLUTTERSHY?!**_ " Discord bellowed angrily at Yusei and company, his eyes having turned into spheres of fire.

Pointing to Kalin, Crow said, "It must have been Kalin. I don't even know who the hell Fluttershy is."

Turing to face Kalin, Discord snapped his fingers; Kalin's head shook violently before exploding (5). After Kalin's dead, headless body fell over onto the ground, Discord said as he pointed at Yusei, Jack and Crow, "Pray that none of you three anger me ever again." And with that, Discord teleported himself back to Equestria.

As Yusei and the others looked at Kalin's remains, Yusei muttered, "…Well fuck."

END, CHAPTER ONE

Author's Notes:

(1) Because I said so.

(2) Actually, it was an explosion, complete with mushroom cloud.

(3) When Crow said that he was 'going exploring', Jack shuddered in fear.

(4) I actually had to look up on the internet the placement of the chairs to make sure Yusei and Jack were where I wanted them to sit in proximity to Twilight.

(5) He'll get better.

Crow has a terrible memory when it comes to remembering which character is which in MLP FIM; the only show that Brianna watches that Crow has an _actual_ working knowledge of is Doctor Who. Well anyway, this is my first attempt at a  dedicated crack fic. I am going to be working on chapter two in the meantime.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter two: Yusei and friends do Royal Woods

Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler were somewhere in Michigan state, having traveled cross-country on a road trip from their home in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. The four roommates/friends were traveling in one of those big Volkswagen vans from the sixties, complete with tie-dye paint job. For a vehicle that had to be at least fifty years old by this point, it was not only in remarkably good condition, but it ran very well. This is because Yusei, the van's driver/owner, takes care of the Volkswagen van as well as he takes care of his Duel Runner.

"So, I was doing some research on this whole 'Link Summoning' business that they're coming out with," Yusei said in a conversational tone to his roommates as he drove into the parking lot of a two-story motel building called 'Royal Woods Motel'. (1)

"Yeah, what about it?" Jack asked, giving Yusei a questioning look.

"Well, let's just say that I may be refraining from playing duel monsters for a while," Yusei replied as he pulled into a parking space a few feet from the motel's office door. Turning off the Volkswagen van's engine, Yusei said as he slipped the keys into his right front pocket, "Well anywho, let's get a room here so we can finally get some fucking sleep. Not counting stops for gas, eating and relieving ourselves, we've been on the road since six this morning according to my watch. And seeing as how it is now…"

Yusei paused to take a look at his wrist watch on his right wrist. "…Close to nine at night, I think it's safe to say that we can use a rest," Yusei finished.

As the four friends walked to the motel's office (which Yusei and the others were eternally grateful was still open), Crow said, "Hoo boy, I still can't believe Akiza gave us the okay to take this road trip so we could go to Music-palooza!"

"I'm just guessing that she was looking forward to the time without any guys in the house," Yusei remarked, "Although now that the subject's been brought up, I can't help but wonder. What does Akiza have planned while we're here in Michigan?"

…

Back in New Domino City, Akiza Izinski was sitting on the sofa in the living room of Jack's penthouse. She was wearing only her bra, underwear, and a really baggy t-shirt that reached halfway down her thighs. Her butt plopped firmly down on the center seat of the sofa, Akiza had a tub of ice cream on the sofa next to her on her right.

Leaning forward, Akiza grabbed the game station controller, turned on one of the video services on the game station, and leaned back once an episode of some anime started playing. Sighing in a content tone, Akiza said, "I finally have the chance to embrace my inner otaku and watch all the anime I want while Yusei and his friends are gone."

Leaning to her right somewhat so that her butt was aimed away from her ice cream, Akiza let out a rather loud, rather long fart. "Hoo boy, I've been holding that one in for days," Akiza remarked to herself as the episode's opening credits started to play.

…

Back in the parking lot of 'Royal Woods Motel' over in Michigan, Yusei shrugged and said to the other guys, "Meh, she's probably just going to keep house." With Yusei taking the lead, the four guys went into the motel's office to get a room.

* * *

Eventually, after they checked in and got up to their motel room (which was on the second floor), Yusei and the others all settled in. They even managed to make a quick run for dinner, which was just two pizzas and some two-liters of cola.

"Hey Crow," Kalin began after taking a gulp from his red plastic cup of soda, "You said that you have a friend living here in Royal Woods who's going to help us with getting to Music-palooza. What's this guy's name?"

"It's actually a girl," Crow corrected in a casual tone. After taking and chewing a bite from his current slice of pizza, Crow continued, "Her name is Luna. Despite still being in High School, Luna is one hell of a dude that you can always count on to have your back. She saved my skin the last few times I made trips out here to Royal Woods."

"Wait a minute, you've been out here before?" Jack asked, his expression a mix of surprise and worry.

"Pfft, dude, you and the other guys would be surprised to learn of all of the places I've been to," Crow replied casually, "Over the years, my work has taken me to a variety of dangerous and exotic places. Konohagakure, Magnolia Town, Gullah-Gullah Island…" (2)

"So, this Luna girl is a friend of yours, Crow?" Yusei asked in a casual tone, having taken a friendly interest in learning about Crow's past.

"Yeah, and I've even met some of Luna's siblings," Crow replied.

"This Luna girl has a few siblings, huh?" Kalin remarked, "Not all that surprising. So, tell us, how many siblings does Luna have? Two? Three?"

"Ten," Crow replied.

"…I beg your pardon?" Kalin asked after a few seconds in a somewhat quiet tone, clearly having been caught off guard by Crow's response.

"Luna has ten siblings from what she's told me," Crow explained, "Although I've only met her older sister Leni and younger sister Lynn Jr." Taking a sip from his red plastic cup of soda, Crow said, "Boys, let me tell you that Luna's sister Leni is an absolute sweetheart. You'll never meet a more pleasant girl in your life."

"Wow, Birdbrain," Jack said in a genuinely impressed tone, "That's the nicest thing that I've ever remembered hearing you say about anyone. And before you say anything, I am not counting all of the praise you give to your girlfriend Brianna because everything that you say about her somehow loops back to the fact that the two of you constantly have sex with each other."

"Brianna is my future baby mama, so she's a special case," Crow explained.

"So back to the point of why we came all the way out here to Michigan," Yusei said, "Music-palooza."

"Fuck yeah!" Crow exclaimed, standing up quickly and pumping both fists into the air.

And so, over pizza and cola, Yusei and his friends talked about how they were looking forward to Music-palooza, which would start sometime the following day. After exhausting what energy that they had left, the guys all turned in for the night, and as they slept, they dreamed dreams of the dank music that they would enjoy at the concert to end all concerts.

* * *

The next day, sometime early in the morning, Yusei and company drove over to where Music-palooza was being held. Upon getting out of the Volkswagen van, Yusei, Jack and Kalin were somewhat surprised to see all of the tents that have been set up in the large local park. "Holy shit," Jack remarked, his eyes widened somewhat in surprise, "This looks less like a concert camp ground and more like a nomadic village."

"That's Music-palooza for you, Jack," Crow replied with a self-amused grin. Turning to face his friends, Crow said, "Well anywho, we should go in and get our passes for Music-palooza."

"You know, Crow," Yusei began in a concerned tone, "Even though we're doing this about fifteen minutes until six in the morning, I'm not sure if we're going to be able to get our Music-palooza passes."

"That's why I have a plan, my good friends," Crow said to Yusei and the others. Gesturing for them to follow him, Crow said, "Come. Let's go get in line. There's no point waiting around and letting the line get longer."

"There's already a line?!" Jack nearly exclaimed.

"Jack, dude, this is Music-palooza we're talking about here," Crow pointed out, "There was most likely already a line when we pulled into the motel parking lot last night.

Face-palming out of mild frustration, Jack muttered to himself, "Bloody hell…"

…

A few hours later, Yusei, Jack and Kalin were standing in line to get passes for Music-palooza; Crow, who had to go use the bathroom, left the line, with Yusei making sure that Crow can get his spot back upon returning from the bathroom. The guys were doing this for each other whenever one of them had to take a leak or something.

"It's barely eight AM, and we aren't even halfway up the bloody fucking line yet," Jack muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"And Crow's been gone for a while," Yusei remarked with just the barest hint of concern in his tone, "Do you think he's okay?"

"He probably just lied about having to take a shit so that he could sneak over to where all of the tents have been set up so he could see what he could steal," Jack remarked in a tone that strongly suggested that Jack firmly believed he was right.

"Oh, come on, Jack," Kalin remarked, "Have a little faith in Crow, will you?" (3) As the three guys waited in line, they saw a teenage girl walk up to them. She had fair skin, yellow-blonde hair that reached a little bit down her shoulders, and wore a green sleeveless dress that reached about halfway down her thighs, a pair of sandals, small red hoop earrings, and a pair of white-frame sunglasses (over her head). She had a cute purse that matched her dress's color with her, its strap over her right shoulder.

"Excuse me, but can you guys help me?" the teenage girl asked innocently, "I'm trying to find the place where all of the cars are parked."

"You mean the parking lot?" Yusei replied, a mildly confused look on his face as he regarded the teenage girl.

"Yeah! That's it!" the teenage girl replied as she nodded enthusiastically. As the teenage girl nodded, Jack face-palmed while muttering something about having finally and unfortunately found girl-Crow.

Pointing in the direction of the parking lot, Yusei said, "If you go straight in that direction, you'll eventually hit the parking lot."

"Oh no," the teenage girl replied in a mildly concerned tone, "I don't want to hit the place where all the cars are parked, I just want to find it."

"Look lady," Jack began in a mildly frustrated tone, "My friends and I aren't really in the mood for this. We've been standing in line for a little over two hours, and I'm not sure about my friends, but my feet are killing me."

Gasping in shock, the teenage girl said, "Oh no, this is terrible!" Reaching into her purse, the teenage girl pulled out a smartphone. "Don't you worry, sir," the teenage girl said to Jack, "I'll call the police right away!"

"Wait, what?!" Jack exclaimed, a shocked look on his face; Yusei and Kalin likewise also looked shocked.

"I'll call the police and have them arrest your feet for attempted murder!" the teenage girl said in a confident tone, "No one's feet are going to kill them on my watch!"

"Oh, for the love of…" Jack said in an annoyed and angry tone. To the teenage girl, Jack said, "My feet aren't literally trying to kill me! I was using a figure of speech!"

"Speech has a figure?" the teenage girl asked, "Is it better than mine? I've been getting diet tips from my older sister Lori because I'm worried that the new dress that I want to get won't-"

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND METAPHORS, YOU MORONIC FUCKING RETARD?!" Jack shouted angrily at the teenage girl, cutting her off. The teenage girl just stood there, quiet and unmoving. An upset look appeared on the teenage girl's face as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, followed by her shaking somewhat. Within a few seconds, the teenage girl turned around and ran away, tears streaming down her face as she cried.

"Jack, what the hell was that for?!" Yusei remarked, a disappointed look on his face.

"Oh, come on, Yusei," Jack defended, "That girl was Crow's stupidity turned up to eleven. I had every right to call her out like that." About a minute or so after Jack's incident with the teenage girl, Crow came walking back over to the guys, accompanied by another teenage girl.

Somewhat shorter than the last teenage girl, this teenage girl had brown hair in a pixie cut, wore paperclips as earrings, had at least three bracelets on each wrist, wore a sleeveless purple tank-top with the image of a skull on it, a purple skirt that almost reached her knees, two white belts over her waist, and a pair of purple boots that came close to reaching her knees.

"So, Crow," the teenage girl said to Crow as the two of them approached Yusei and the others, "Are you and your friends ready for Music-palooza?"

"Damn straight we are," Crow replied to the teenage girl as he offered her a fist bump, which she accepted right away.

"Hey Crow, there you are," Kalin said when Crow and the teenage girl came close enough. Pointing to Crow's guest, Kalin asked, "Who is this?"

"Oh, dudes," Crow remarked to all three of his friends, "This here is my friend that I was telling you about." Gesturing to the teenage girl that was with him, Crow said to Yusei and the others, "Bros, this here is Luna Loud." Turning his head to face the teenage girl, Crow said, "Luna, these are my roommates that I was telling out about. The guy with the dark hair with yellow highlights is Yusei, the blonde guy is Jack, and the guy with white hair is Kalin."

"'Sup, bros?" Luna greeted Yusei and the others with a casual wave, "Are you three ready for the greatest music festival in the history of music festivals?!"

"I'm surprised that your parents would even allow you to attend this event," Kalin remarked to Luna, "I mean, today's Monday. Don't you have school or something?"

"All of the schools here in Royal Woods have the week off," Luna explained, "So not only will I get to enjoy as much Music-palooza as I want, but my parents won't have to worry about me missing any school."

"Everyone wins," Crow said, holding up his right index finger in a gesture one would make when pointing something out.

"Well hurry up and get back in line, Crow," Yusei said, "I can't keep holding a place for you forever, you know."

"Oh dudes, there's no need to worry about that," Crow replied, "As I was walking back to meet up with you guys, I spotted Luna in the line and we got to talking a bit. Before we knew it, were at the front of the line, so we bought enough passes for all five of us." To showcase his point, Crow pulled out and flashed five passes; they were the kind that were attached to lanyards that you wear around your neck.

"About bloody time you did something right, Birdbrain," Jack said as he, Yusei and Kalin got out of line to receive their passes from Crow and Luna.

"Seeing as how we're set for Music-palooza now," Luna began, "You guys wanna go grab some grub?"

"Sounds like a plan," Yusei replied as he and the other guys followed Luna to the area at the festival grounds where all of the concession and souvenir stands were.

* * *

A few minutes later, Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin and Luna were all sitting on the ground near a tree somewhere in the festival grounds, drinking sodas. Some wrappers from snack cakes were the only evidence that the group had eaten anything at all. "How come we didn't get more to eat than just a few snacks?" Kalin asked.

"My sister Lynn is going to be coming by here with a cooler of snacks for us later," Luna explained, "So there was no need to go overboard on buying some grindage. Besides, this way we save some money for souvenirs."

"Ah yes, Crow mentioned that sister of yours to us," Yusei remarked as he pointed to Luna, "He said she was actually called Lynn Jr."

Nodding once in the affirmative, Luna replied, "Yeah, she's actually named after our dad."

"A man named his daughter after himself?" Jack remarked, a confused look on his face.

"Well Lynn _is_ a unisex name, Jack," Yusei pointed out. (4)

"Yeah," Kalin said to Luna, "Crow said that he actually met your sister Lynn. What kind of girl is this sister Lynn of yours, anyway?"

"She's a major sports nut," Luna explained, "Always active, always trying to turn everything into a sport. She's got a lot of stamina, that younger sister of mine." Taking a bite out of some large cookie, Luna chewed and swallowed before continuing, "Lynn can be a tad aggressive from time to time, and my older sister Lori has called Lynn out on more than one occasion for being too rough with our younger brother Lincoln. But Lynn's a good girl when it comes down to it, and I wouldn't trade being sisters with her for any-"

"Hey Luna!" a young female voice called out, cutting the teenage girl off. Yusei and the others watched as a thirteen-year-old girl came running up to them, dragging a red cooler on wheels by its long handle behind her. The girl wore a red and white sports jersey with sleeves reaching halfway down her forearms, a pair of red sports shorts, white socks and black sneakers. She also had brown hair, same as Luna, but it was longer, at least long enough for the girl to pull back into a tomboyish ponytail.

Dragging the cooler up next to Luna, the girl said, "Here's the grub for you and your pals from California, Luna."

"Thanks, Lynn," Luna said to the girl. To Yusei and the others, Luna said, "Boys, this is my younger sister Lynn."

"Hey Crow," Lynn greeted as she waved at Crow.

"How's school going for you, Lynn?" Crow greeted in response.

"I'm actually able to do somewhat better on my own, actually," Lynn replied in a conversational tone, "Granted, I'd still be in a really bad spot if Lisa were to suddenly stop tutoring me, but my personal skills are improving." Pointing to Yusei and the others, Lynn said to Crow, "So are these your friends that Luna told me about?"

"Yeah," Crow replied, "Going from left to right, their names are Yusei, Jack and Kalin."

"Nice to meet you, Lynn," Yusei greeted in a friendly manner.

"Hey sis," Luna said, "If you got the time, you should totally chill with us for a bit."

"Sounds like a plan," Lynn replied as she sat down on the ground next to her older sister. And so, Yusei, his friends and two of the Loud sisters passed the time, telling stories, cracking jokes, and consuming grindage. At one point, Crow stood up, took out a lighter, lit it, then held it in front of his butt as he farted, causing a stream of fire to appear.

"Good one, dude!" Luna laughed as she pointed to Crow. Quickly, Luna said, "Crow, dude, quick! Hand the lighter over!" Doing as Luna had asked, Crow handed her his lighter. Then Luna stood up, lit the lighter, and held it in front of her butt as she farted, causing a stream of fire to appear as well; Luna's flame was about as big as the one Crow made.

"See, guys?" Crow said to Yusei and the other guys, "I told you that Luna was one rocking dude!" Crow and Luna then laughed; Yusei, Kalin and even Jack (much to Jack's surprise) found themselves joining Crow and Luna in on their laughing.

Sighing, Lynn remarked aloud, "Amateurs." Holding her hand out, Lynn made a gesture with it to show that she wanted the lighter handed over to her. With Crow nodding in agreement, Luna handed Crow's lighter over to Lynn. Standing up, Lynn lit the lighter, held it in front of her butt, and farted. The flame that resulted was far bigger than Crow's flame and Luna's flame combined; one could not be blamed for honestly thinking that the flame was produced by a weapons-grade flamethrower. Having just seen weapons-grade fire shoot out from Lynn's butt, Yusei, Jack and Kalin were stunned, their respective responses as follows.

"…Wow."

"Bloody hell."

"Holy shit."

Tossing the lighter back to Crow, Lynn said with an amused smirk, "That's what meatball grinders will do for you, boys."

"Yeah, word to the wise," Luna said as she turned to face the boys, "Lynn here can pull of some rather powerful Dutch ovens that are nothing short of legendary. Tick her off at your own peril."

"I will do my utmost to refrain from ticking her off," Yusei declared, drawing nods of agreement from the other guys. Seeing all of the men nod in unison like that made Lynn snicker a bit.

* * *

A few minutes later, Lynn took her leave, having done the job that she came to the festival grounds for. After Lynn had left, Luna turned to face the guys.

"So, boys, what do you all think?" Luna asked, "Is my little sister one of the most rocking dudes you have ever met in your life or what?"

"I will never invite her over to my place on chili night," Jack swore in a firm yet worried tone.

"Oh, come on," Kalin remarked, "Luna's sister's gas can't be any worse than Crow's."

"That girl farted dragon's fire, Kalin," Jack pointed out, "I don't know about you, but I'd like my penthouse to stay standing!"

"Well then, Crow's blonde friend," Luna said with just the barest hint of annoyance in her tone, "If Lynn being awesome is too much for you to handle, then maybe you wouldn't mind it if either of my two older sisters came over. They're more of the social, classy girl type, if that's your preferred company."

"Your older sisters, huh?" Yusei remarked, "Leni is one of them, right?"

"Yeah," Luna replied as the bare hint of annoyance in her tone faded away, "Leni and Lori both."

"Huh, your one older sister's name is Lori, you say," Jack remarked. Holding a hand to his chin, Jack said, "That name strikes me a familiar, yet I can't put my finger on it…"

"What kind of girl is your sister Lori, might I ask?" Yusei began.

"Well out of all of my siblings and I, Lori is the oldest," Luna explained, "And she uses that fact to boss us around all the fucking time. She's also the only one of us out of my siblings and I who can drive, so she makes us do her chores for her in exchange for rides."

"No offence, but your older sister Lori sounds like a slave driver," Kalin remarked.

"Lori does not just _sound_ like a slave driver," Luna said, "She _is_ a slave driver, not to mention the fact that Lori is the world's biggest bitch. …But still, Lori does have her good points. Lori's way of managing all of us while mom and dad are out actually works at keeping everything from going to hell, and like I said, Lori is not afraid to call Lynn out if she's too rough with Lincoln."

"Mmm hmm," Yusei said as he nodded, "So Lori is a sweet girl at heart, I take it?"

"Lori is a sweet person when it comes down to it, yes," Luna replied, "But if you want a girl who is all sweet all the time, then you'll want my other older sister Leni. She's the second-oldest out of my siblings and I, and she's arguably the prettiest as well. Although to give you all fair warning, Leni is rather slow on the uptake."

"I…take it that it's because she's one of those stereotypical airheaded teenage girls?" Kalin asked.

"Umm, actually…" Luna continued in a mildly unsure tone, "…It's because Leni has a learning disability." Hearing Luna say this put stunned looks of shock on the faces of Yusei, Jack and Kalin; only Crow did not look shocked. "Yeah, Leni's really sensitive about it," Luna explained as she wore a mildly somber expression, "So very few people outside of our family are even aware of it." Her expression suddenly gaining a lot of steeled resolve, Luna said to Yusei, Jack and Kalin, "If any of you three end up meeting Leni, do NOT let her know that you're aware of her learning disability, and do NOT treat her like a special case. Because if you do…"

Seeing Luna standing up as she gripped the neck of her electric guitar, Crow said, "Woah, whoa, easy there, Luna." Standing up, Crow said, "Luna, dude, we of the Atlas Penthouse do not discriminate against those with learning disabilities. Sure, we tell disparaging jokes aimed at different ethnicities, we mock fat people, and every Halloween I dress up as the Grim Reaper and visit the local retirement home. But we do NOT, I repeat, do NOT, mock those with learning disabilities. Personally speaking, I just don't have it in me to do that."

"Umm…yeah," Yusei said to Luna, "What Crow said." Shaking his head somewhat in an attempt to clear it, Yusei continued, "Luna, you and your siblings are always welcomed over at our place. If you guys are ever in the New Domino City area of San Francisco and need a place to stay, feel free to call us up."

"Hold the bloody phone just one fucking minute," Jack interrupted. Turning to face Yusei, Jack said, "It's nice that you're showing the girl and her family such kindness Yusei, but why are you rolling out the red carpet for them to come to _MY_ penthouse?! It's not called the _Atlas_ penthouse for nothing, you know!"

"You, me, Kalin and Crow all cover an equal share of the monthly expenses, Jack," Yusei pointed out with a stoic, bored look, "It isn't so much just your penthouse anymore." Jack looked like he was about to argue, but he then relented, realizing that Yusei actually had a point.

"So yeah, dude," Crow said to Luna, "The bros here and I will treat Leni like we would any of your other siblings. You have my word."

Smiling, Luna said, "Thanks, dude. It's really cool to hear that after so many people believe that they have to act 'careful' around my older sister. And it would mean a lot to Leni as well."

"You guys are welcome," Crow replied, "Now come on. Let's go check out more of the festival grounds before the music starts. I promised my girlfriend Brianna that I'd get her a rocking souvenir of some kind, and I haven't bought one for her yet. I don't suppose you'd know what would be a good idea for me to get her?"

With a sly, amused look on her face, Luna replied, "Tell me about this girl, and I'll see what I can help you find, Crow."

* * *

Later, Yusei and his group were wandering the area of the festival grounds with the concession and souvenir stands. Crow was holding a small plastic case that held a chain necklace with a bat-shaped charm, except the bat's body was replaced with the body of an acoustic guitar. "Holy shit, dude," Crow said to Luna, "I bet that Brianna will love this! Thanks again!"

"Anytime, bro," Luna replied as she offered Crow a fist bump, which he accepted. As Yusei and the others wandered around, they heard a female voice call out, "Hey, Luna!" Hearing this caused the group to turn around and see a group of kids of various ages walk up.

The tallest one of the group was a girl of about seventeen years of age, with blonde hair, a teal tank-top, tan shorts and shoes of a somewhat darker shade of teal than the tank-top. This girl was holding an infant in her arms; aside from a tuft of blonde hair on her head, all that this baby had on her was a diaper.

The second girl of the group had brown hair tied back in a ponytail. This girl wore a sleeveless white shirt, a yellow-plaid skirt, yellow socks, and brown shoes. She had three pink flowers on her as ornaments, one on each shoe and one on the upper left side of her shirt.

The next kid was the only boy of the group; he had white-blonde hair, wore an orange polo shirt, blue pants, and white sneakers with red stripes on them. Standing next to the boy was a girl who looked like a stereotypical goth; black hair that covered her eyes, black dress, black-and-white stripped sleeves and stockings, black shoes.

Then there were two blonde girls who were around the same height, but they were dressed _completely_ different from each other; one was dressed like a princess, what with the pink dress, pink dress gloves, a faux pearl necklace (at least Yusei was hoping it was faux pearls) and even a tiara, whereas the other girl was wearing a dark-blue shirt under a pair of overalls, a red baseball cap (worn backwards), and white sneakers with black stripes.

Even those these two blonde girls could not look any more different from each other, Yusei could tell full well that they were twins; having helped to practically raise Leo and his twin sister Luna (not Luna Loud) (5), Yusei knew twins when he saw them.

The last girl of the group was somewhat shorter than the supposed twins; she had brown hair, wore glasses, a green sweater, reddish-colored pants, and brown shoes. Yusei could tell just by looking at this girl that she was one sharp cookie.

"Hey, guys!" Luna greeted the group enthusiastically as she walked up to join them. Turning around to face Yusei and the other guys, Luna said, "Bros, these are my siblings. That's Lori holding Lily, Luan is the one with the white shirt and yellow skirt, Lucy is the dark one, the twins are Lola and Lana, Lisa is the short smart one, and my brother is Lincoln."

"Bloody hell," Jack remarked as he and the other guys all looked at the Loud siblings, "Well isn't this a wonderfully quirky cast of differing personalities and unique lifestyles."

"Yep," Luna remarked, "And I love it!"

"Now hang on," Kalin remarked, "I distinctly remember Crow telling the other guys and I that you have ten siblings, yet I only count eight."

"Yeah, Crow's friend with the white hair as a point, dudes," Luna said to her siblings, "Where are Leni and Lynn?" At that point, Lynn came walking in with the teenage girl that Yusei, Jack and Kalin had met earlier while they were waiting in line for Crow to get back. The teenage girl was holding a necklace similar to the one that Crow had bought for Brianna.

"This necklace is, like, totes adorable, Lynn!" the teenage girl said to Lynn as they walked.

"Don't you already have a bazillion pieces of jewelry at home already, Leni?" Lynn asked, "You're starting to make Lola's collection of play jewelry look anemic."

Gasping in a shocked tone, Leni said with a worried expression, "I made Lola's toys sick? Oh no, that's terrible! I'm so sorry!"

Face-palming, Lynn replied in an unamused monotone, "Forget I said anything."

"Hey Lynn! Leni! Over here!" Luna called out, getting the attention of the other two girls.

When they got close enough, Jack pointed at Leni and said, "Bloody hell, Yusei and Kalin! It's the girl from earlier!"

Seeing Jack, Leni pointed at him and screamed in fear. "It's the man who was mean to me earlier!" Leni cried as tears started to well up in the corners of her eyes.

"Wait a minute," Lori interrupted. Casting an accusing glare at Jack, Lori said, "What did you do to my sister, you bastard?"

"Yeah, what the hell did I miss?" Crow asked as he turned to face Jack.

Sighing in a resigned tone, Yusei explained, "Earlier today Crow, as Jack, Kalin and I were waiting for you to get back, this girl here came up to us and asked for directions to the parking lot. She kept taking everything we said literally, and after the third or fourth time, Jack snapped and yelled an insult at her, making her run away crying."

"What did you call my sister?" Luna asked, giving Jack an accusing glare.

"Jack called your sister, and I'm quoting him on this one, a moronic fucking retard," Kalin said to Luna, causing her expression and the expression of every other Loud sister aside from Leni and Lily to grow murderously angry; Lincoln's expression wasn't so much as angry, so much as it was very disappointed and unhappy.

"He called Leni **WHAT?!** " Luna exclaimed, steam seemingly billowing out of her ears; the musical Loud sister's anger had clearly reached cataclysmic levels.

Seeing the looks on the faces of most of the Loud sisters, Yusei, Kalin and Crow backed up, leaving Jack alone. "Again, I'm just quoting Jack on this one," Kalin explained as he, Yusei and Crow backed up, "His words do not reflect my own personal feelings on the matter in any way whatsoever."

"You girls have my permission to do to Jack what you see fit," Crow said just before he, Yusei and Kalin got as far away as possible (they backed into the back of a van similar to Yusei's).

Handing Lily over to Leni, Lori said, "Leni, you stay here with Lily and Lincoln." Casting a murderous glare at Jack, Lori continued, "The girls and I have some cleaning up to do."

"Let's fuck him up!" Lana exclaimed angrily as she pulled a large wrench out from her overalls, prompting the other girls to all charge at Jack.

"Hey wait, don't!" Jack exclaimed in alarm as he was charged by eight angry girls of varying age. But it was too late; like a pack of wolves jumping on a lone deer or a group of fat people jumping on an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet, the Loud sisters all jumped on Jack, throwing any and every hit they could think of on the poor blonde turbo duelist.

With looks of horror on their faces, Yusei and Kalin watched as their friend was getting beaten up by eight girls ranging in age from four to seventeen. Only Crow did not look horrified; his expression was one of grim understanding, as if he knew that this had to be done. After a few minutes, the Loud sisters all got off of Jack, but that was mostly due to the fact that he had stopped screaming. Walking over to Jack, Crow bent down and checked for a pulse.

"Yep," Crow remarked as he got back up, "Jack's dead." (6)

"Well it's a good thing we're here at Music-palooza," Luna remarked, "We can just make it look like he died from a drug overdose."

"An excellent point, Luna," Crow agreed, "Go for it." As Luna and her sisters who had a role in beating Jack to death carried Jack's body off to make it look like he died from a drug overdose, Yusei, Crow and Kalin looked to Leni, Lily and Lincoln.

A mildly upset look on her face, Leni asked Yusei and the other guys in a concerned tone, "You…you guys don't think that I have a bad brain, do you?"

In response, Yusei, Crow and Kalin all said a number of things in unison that all stated that they had no such opinion of Leni whatsoever; the only thing that was understandable out of the jumbled mess of the guys talking was at the end where Kalin said, "The nicest girl I've ever had the pleasure to meet, really."

"Aww, thanks," Leni replied in a touched tone before turning around to go follow her sisters with Lily and Lincoln, leaving Yusei, Crow and Kalin alone.

After all of the Loud siblings were gone, Yusei and Kalin turned to face Crow. "Why did we not only allow them to get away with killing Jack, but are also allowing them to dispose of his dead body in whatever way that they see fit?" Yusei asked Crow.

With an indifferent shrug, Crow replied, "Yusei, you've got to learn that what happens in Royal Woods STAYS in Royal Woods."

END, CHAPTER TWO

Author's Notes:

(1) The Royal Woods Motel. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Approach it with caution.

(2) You do NOT want to know about the business that Crow had at Gullah-Gullah Island.

(3) That's a mighty tall order.

(4) This is true.

(5) The Luna has been doubled!

(6) He'll respawn.

Well, there's chapter two for you. If you're noticing the pattern already, then that's a good thing, as you should know what to expect from the rest of the chapters. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some research on various shows to do.

As a side note, I did some research on Link Summoning; I honestly don't think that it's going to be as bad as most people I know of are making it out to be.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter three: Yusei and friends do Jump City

It was evening in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. Over at Jack's penthouse, the man himself, Jack Atlas, was lying in bed, watching the wide-screen TV that was on the dresser against the wall opposite of Jack's bed. Lying in bed next to Jack was Carly Carmine, his (current) girlfriend. The TV was currently tuned to the local news.

"And in news here along the West Coast," the news reporter said, "The resident criminal mastermind of Jump City, known only as Slade, was last seen fleeing pursuit as he fled. The last known sighting of Slade puts him somewhere in the New Domino City suburb of San Francisco. And now on to the weather. Tom?"

Turning down the volume of the news, Jack muttered, "Bloody hell. A criminal mastermind from Jump City has been seen here in New Domino? Looks like Birdbrain may end up having some competition to deal with here." (1)

"Jack? Aren't you more worried about the criminal mastermind from Jump City?" Carly asked, her tone a mix of confusion and mild worry.

"Why should I be?" Jack asked rhetorically.

"Because he's from _Jump City_ , Jack," Carly replied, "Superheroes live in Jump City, so being a criminal mastermind in a place like Jump City and not only getting away with it, but thriving as well, should be a sign of-"

Carly was cut off when the sound of a gunshot going off resonated throughout the entirety of the Atlas Penthouse, making both Jack and Carly jump in alarm. Getting up out of bed, Jack led Carly out to the living room while grabbing an aluminum baseball bat that was leaning against the wall on the right side of Jack's bedroom doorframe.

Having made their way out to the living room, Jack and Carly came upon a sight that, while it had Carly shocked, it failed to faze Jack in the least; Jack's roommates Yusei Fudo, Kalin Kessler and Crow Hogan, along with Yusei's girlfriend Akiza Izinski and the wonder twins Leo and Luna, were all standing around the corpse of a man that was lying face-down on the floor dead. The man was wearing a black combat suit with silver-gray shoulder pads, gloves and utility belt, with a mask that was half-black-half-copper over his face. There was a gunshot wound in the back of the man's head.

Almost immediately, Jack spotted the Sig Sauer 9MM in Crow's hand, its barrel smoking. "He came into our home and looked like he was about to harm one of the twins," Crow said when his gaze met Jack's, "I had every right to shoot him." Before Jack could say anything, Crow's girlfriend Brianna Stone came walking out from one of the hallways, wearing only her undergarments under a baggy t-shirt that reached a few inches down her thighs. She was carrying a one-headed battle-axe. (2)

Handing the battle-axe to Crow, Brianna said, "Here you go, babe."

"Thank you, Brianna," Crow replied in a kind tone as he took the battle-axe from his girlfriend. With both hands gripping the axe handle, Crow raised his battle-axe over his head, only to bring it down upon the neck of the man he just shot and killed, taking his head clear off. (3)

"Was it really necessary to decapitate a corpse, Birdbrain?" Jack asked, more confused than annoyed and frustrated.

"What, and risk having the asshole come back to life as a zombie or some shit like that?" Crow replied, "Jack, you know as well as I do that zombies can't function without a head, so I took care of things before he even had a chance to be zombified, or otherwise raised as some sort of undead."

"Crow actually has it written in his will that as soon as he dies, he wants his head to be cut off so that he wouldn't come back to infect us," Yusei pointed out.

"Not that he had much of a head to begin with…" Jack muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Hey, this guy looks familiar to me," Leo remarked as he gently nudged the headless corpse with his right foot.

"Leo, don't touch that," Akiza said in a mild scolding tone, "It's a dead body."

Looking to Akiza, Leo replied, "I'm serious, though. I've seen this guy before." Putting a hand to his chin, Leo continued with a look of deep-thought on his face, "But I can't quite seem to remember where it is that I've seen him before…"

As Leo continued to try and wrack his memory, Crow walked over to the dead body and began to check it for anything of value. "Crow, what the hell are you doing?" Kalin asked.

"Looting the guy that I just killed," Crow replied in a casual tone without missing a beat.

"Birdbrain is looting a person he just killed," Jack remarked in a resigned tone as he face-palmed, "Of course, he is."

"Oh, come on, dudes," Crow said, "This guy has a Batman-like utility belt, so he's got to be-" Crow stopped short upon taking out the guy's wallet and checking the ID card in it. "Hey Kalin," Crow began suddenly, "Didn't you say that your friend who lives in Jump City has a beef with this one dude called Slade?"

"You mean Cyborg?" Kalin replied, "Yeah, Cyborg and his friends are consistently at odds with Slade. In fact, if you were paying attention to the news, you'd know that Slade has recently come here to New Domino."

"Oh!" Leo exclaimed as he gave the corpse a decent kick, "Now I remember who this dead person is!" Pointing to the corpse, Leo said, "He's that Slade dude I heard about on the news!"

"Well I kind of figured that," Crow said as he handed the ID card from the dead man's wallet to Kalin.

Kalin just looked at the ID card in silence, a shocked look on his face. "…Our roommate Crow just killed Slade, the most terrifying criminal mastermind in the history of the West Coast, if not the entire fucking nation," Kalin said to the others who were gathered in the living room.

Taking some money out from the wallet of the late Slade, Crow said, "And now a dead man will be treating us to pizza!"

"Crow, it's close to nine-forty-five at night," Akiza pointed out, "Don't you think it's a little late for pizza?"

"Hey, anytime can be pizza time, Akiza," Brianna remarked.

"Shouldn't the fact that there's a dead body with its head cut off in the living room be a more pressing and immediate cause for concern?" Yusei asked rhetorically.

"Yusei's got a point," Jack pointed out, "We need to contact the proper authorities."

"I should contact my friend Cyborg, let him know that Crow killed the man who is his team's longest running arch-nemesis," Kalin said as he pulled out his smartphone.

…

A few minutes later, police came by to investigate what happened. Mid-way through the police questioning, a pizza man came to the front door with a few pizzas, which Crow paid for before it was his turn to be questioned by the police.

"So, you were the one who shot the deceased," the first police officer said to Crow; despite being in his early to mid-fifties, the police officer was in very good physical shape. His brown hair was also worn long for some reason.

Nodding once in the affirmative, Crow said, "The man came into the home that my friends and I all shared, and he looked like he was about to harm one of the twins that my friends and I are responsible for. I had every reason to believe that he was going to harm one or both of them, if not do something _worse_."

Nodding once in understanding, the first police officer said, "Fair enough. A dangerous man breaking into your home and posing a threat to one of the residents is as good of a justification for killing the man as I ever heard. However, I just need to ask one thing."

"What is it, officer?" Crow replied.

"I was told that it was you who had decapitated the deceased's corpse after you had shot and killed him," the first police officer said, "Is that true?" After Crow nodded in the affirmative once again, the first police officer, with a look of bafflement on his face, asked, "Why?"

"I did NOT want to run the chance of that guy coming back as a zombie or some other sort of undead," Crow explained, "I mean, I've seen some pretty fucked up shit in my life, but I do NOT want to see either of the twins getting attacked by a zombie or some shit like that."

With an indifferent shrug, the first police officer replied, "Fair enough. Well then, we'll have to arrange for transporting the deceased remains back to Jump City, as that's where the deceased came from." As the first police officer got up, Crow gestured to where the pizza boxes sat on the dining table, offering the officer a slice. The officer politely declined, saying that he had to get straight back to the station, but he did thank Crow for the offer.

After all of the police were gone, with a team from the morgue having collected Slade's remains, Yusei and the rest of the residents of the Atlas Penthouse just stood around. "So now what?" Jack asked.

"I think that you, me, Yusei and Crow should get ready to make a trip to Jump City," Kalin explained to the blonde turbo duelist, "My friend Cyborg says that he and his team want to personally ask us about our involvement in the slaying of Slade."

"Uhh, _our_ involvement?" Yusei repeated, "The only one involved was Crow."

Giving Yusei a knowing look, Kalin replied, "Do you honestly trust Crow to make a trip out of New Domino City by himself?" (4)

Without missing a beat, Yusei said, "Good point."

"I think that I should feel offended here," Crow stated, sounding mildly lost.

"I don't care what you think, Birdbrain," Jack muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose, giving a sigh of frustration as he did so.

"Look guys," Yusei said as he tried to defuse the tension in the room, "We got a big day ahead of us tomorrow with the trip up to Jump City, so I think that we should get to bed now and try to get as much rest as we can. Sound good?"

Jack, Crow and Kalin all gave affirmative responses to Yusei's suggestion; Akiza, Carly, Brianna and the twins all gave affirmative responses as well, even though none of them were going on the trip to Jump City. They just wanted to get back to bed is all.

* * *

The next day, Yusei and the guys were driving along a road in Jump City inside of Yusei's Volkswagen van. "So Kalin," Yusei began, "You said that your friend Cyborg lives here in Jump City. Where exactly does he live?"

"There's this one island a little bit off of the Jump City coast," Kalin explained, "With a giant T-shaped tower on it. Cyborg and his teammates live there."

"Now just hold the bloody phone a minute there, Kalin," Jack interrupted. With all attention on him, Jack continued, "You mean to tell us that your friend Cyborg is the same Cyborg who is a member of the superhero team known as the Teen Titans?"

"Hey, I sell pot to the guys on that team!" Crow remarked as he held up his right index finger.

"Yes, yes," Kalin replied as he nodded in the affirmative, "The Cyborg that I'm friends with is the same Cyborg who belongs to the Teen Titans."

"So how are we going to get over to the giant T-shaped tower on that island?" Yusei asked as Titans Tower just started to appear in the distance.

"I'm going to call Cyborg to let him know that we're approaching the tower, and for him to keep a look out for the van," Kalin replied as he pulled out his cell phone. A minute after Kalin made the call, Yusei pulled up to the shoreline of the Jump City coast; Titans Tower was more or less directly in front of the shore where the Volkswagen van was parked.

About a minute after Yusei pulled up to the shoreline, a giant orange flying sea vehicle, known as the T-Sub, flew overhead and landed in an open area of the beach along the shoreline. After the T-Sub shut off, three teenagers got out; one was a dark-skinned boy who was half-robot, one was a fair-skinned boy in a red and green outfit, and the third was a girl wearing a dark purple cloak with a hood.

"Kalin, my man!" the half-robot teen called out as he and his fellows walked up to Yusei and company. Kalin walked up and did a fist-bump with the half-robot teen.

"Glad to see you're doing well, Cyborg," Kalin remarked. Shooting a quick look to Cyborg's friends, Kalin said to Cyborg, "Are these some of your teammates?"

"Oh yeah," Cyborg replied as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, "Those guys are Robin and Raven."

"Oh god," Jack muttered to himself as he face-palmed, "More people named after species of birds. I just hope they aren't morons like Birdbrain."

"Oh Robin," Crow said as he walked up to the other two titans that were on the beach, "I got the order that you, Cyborg and Beast Boy requested." Crow pulled out a sandwich-sized plastic bag that contained a leafy substance that, aside from the pinkish-purplish color, looked exactly like a certain brand of oregano.

"Twelve ounces of Mewni Mulch (5), right on time," Crow said with a hint of smug pride in his tone. Tossing the sandwich bag to Robin, Crow said, "I'll be collecting my payment sometime before the boys and I head back to New Domino City."

Looking at the sandwich-sized plastic bag, the leader of the Teen Titans let out a whistle that sounded impressed and appreciative. "Thanks, Crow," Robin remarked, "Cyborg, Beast Boy and I will make sure that Starfire doesn't get any of the good stuff this time."

"This time?" Yusei asked, giving Robin a confused and curious look.

"The last time that Robin, BB and I smoked some pot that Crow got for us, Starfire unknowingly smoked some as well," Cyborg explained, "As a result, she ate everything."

"So, she ate all of the food you guys had over in Titan's Tower?" Kalin asked his friend.

"No, no, that's not what Cyborg meant," Robin clarified, "When Cyborg said that Starfire ate everything, he meant _everything_. Several plates, at least four of Raven's books, half the sofa… Jump City experienced a week-long mustard shortage after Starfire got some of the good stuff."

"That was not eating," Raven said in an emotionless monotone, "I've seen eating. What Starfire did back then was pure chaos."

"Word to the wise, Kalin," Cyborg said to his turbo duelist friend, "Never let a Tamaranean smoke any pot. They will _literally_ eat you out of house and home."

"D…duly noted," Kalin replied in something of a stammer, shocked by what his friend was telling him.

"Well this is all well and good and all," Jack began, "But how the bloody hell are we going to get over to your tower?" Pointing to the T-Sub, Jack continued, "Because that thing doesn't look like it can hold seven. Also, I don't think it'd be a good idea to leave Yusei's Volkswagen unattended here along the shoreline."

"That's what Raven's here for," Cyborg replied to Jack as he pointed at Raven, "I just need you, Kalin and your two friends here to get back into your van for a minute." Doing as Cyborg asked, Yusei and company all got back into the Volkswagen van. As Robin and Cyborg got back into the T-Sub, Raven floated up and aimed the palm of her right hand at the Volkswagen van.

Her hand glowing with a black aura, Raven said, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos." Suddenly, the Volkswagen van became surrounded with a black aura, similar to the one surrounding Raven's hand. As the van started to float up, Yusei and Jack immediately became alarmed. (6)

"Yusei, Jack, relax," Kalin said in a calming tone, "This is just Raven using her magic to levitate the Volkswagen."

"She's going to be gentle with my baby, right?" Yusei asked in a worried tone, "Please tell me that she's going to be gentle with my baby."

"I know that I've done some jump tricks on my duel runner, but this is ridiculous!" Jack could be heard exclaiming as Raven, using her magic, carried the van over to the island where Titans Tower was located.

* * *

A few minutes later, Yusei and company were inside of the living room of Titans Tower. It was there that they met Beast Boy and Starfire. Seeing Crow, Beast Boy said, "Crow, dude, please tell me that you brought the good stuff."

"I already handed it off to Robin, but you two and Cyborg are going to have to keep your alien friend from getting any," Crow replied.

"Did I do something wrong?" Starfire asked, looking concerned. In response, Raven pointed to something behind Starfire, making the Tamaranean turn around to see what her friend was pointing at; it was half of a sofa, the missing half looking like it was bitten off. "I see," Starfire replied, "Even so, I have apologized many BURRRRRP!"

Starfire let out a loud belch midsentence, coughing out something in the process. After the item landed, Beast Boy's eyes widen in surprise, apparently having recognized the item that Starfire belched out. "Dudes! It's my lucky decoder ring!" Beast Boy exclaimed as he went over to pick it up, "And it's still in one piece and everything!" As he picked up the decoder ring, Beast Boy said to Yusei and the other guys, "I got this thing out of a box of cereal two days after Titans Tower was first build, and I've had a lot of luck ever since." Looking at the saliva-covered decoder ring in his palm, Beast Boy said in a mildly disgusted tone, "I think I'll wash it first."

As Beast Boy went over to the sink to wash his decoder ring, Robin turned to face Yusei and the guys. "So, let's get down to business," Robin stated in a business-like tone.

"To defeat the Huns?" Crow asked rhetorically; having heard Crow say this, Jack promptly smacked Crow in the back of the head.

"No man, Robin is talking about what Kalin and I discussed over the phone," Cyborg explained, "The fact that one of you guys killed Slade."

"Oh, that's Crow you're talking about," Yusei remarked as he pointed to Crow, who was rubbing his head where Jack smacked him.

"Slade was without a doubt the single greatest enemy the Teen Titans have ever faced," Robin said in a serious tone, "And yet thanks to your efforts, Slade's terror has been stopped forever."

"I also chopped his head off with an axe, if that helps," Crow stated.

"…Why?" Robin asked, regarding Crow with a confused look.

"To keep the asshole from rising as a zombie or some other shit like that," Crow replied in a mildly annoyed tone, "Do you know how many times I have had to explain this to someone?"

"Hey, I have a rather pertinent question," Yusei said as he raised a hand, "Since Jump City's greatest criminal threat has been offed, aren't you five worried about a potential power vacuum occurring in the Jump City underground?"

"What do you mean?" Cyborg asked.

"Don't you think at least one member of your team's regular rouge's gallery might try to start something if and when they head that Slade's dead?" Yusei asked, clarifying his original question, "I mean, if this Slade dude was as bad as you say he was, then much lesser threats may try to move in and claim Slade's old stomping grounds as their own."

"…Huh," Raven remarked in a mildly surprised tone, holding a hand to her chin in a gesture that conveyed deep thought, "I don't think any of us have thought of that."

"You sound like you're the team's smart one, and yet even you haven't thought of the possibility that some minor villain may try to move in on Slade's now vacant turf?" Jack asked, pointing an accusing finger at Raven, "Bloody hell! You're worse than Crow!"

"I think that I should feel offended here," Crow stated, sounding mildly offended.

"I don't care what you think, Birdbrain!" Jack snapped, turning sharply to face the broom-headed turbo duelist.

"Well aside from my father, who is also dead," Raven began in her usual monotone, "And possibly Mad Mod, I can't think of anyone from our usual rouge's gallery who could be a serious threat to us."

"What about Cinderblock?" Robin asked.

"Or Plasmus?" Beast Boy suggested as he returned from cleaning his decoder ring.

"Or the Mind Control Squid?" Starfire pointed out.

"Or Trogaar?" Cyborg offered.

"…Okay," Raven said after a bit of thought, "Aside from villains we know are deceased, the only villains that we've faced that I believe can pose a serious threat to us are Mad Mod and the Mind Control Squid. Other than those two, we can pretty much steamroll whatever villain may try to move in and make him or herself the new criminal mastermind of the Jump City underground."

"Heh, yeah," Robin said with a laugh, "Can you guys seriously imagine if someone like Ding-Dong Daddy tries to insert himself as the new criminal mastermind of the Jump City underground?" This idea got the rest of the titans to start laughing; even Raven, who normally does not show much emotion, gave a few chuckles.

"Or that Fang guy who robbed a jewelry store that one time?" Cyborg said, getting Robin and Beast Boy to laugh while Starfire and Raven looked mildly annoyed.

"Or how about Doctor Light?" Beast Boy suggested, getting all of the titans to laugh now; Raven in particular found Beast Boy's suggestion to be funny. (7) Yusei and the guys also joined in on the laughing as well. However, all laughing was cut off suddenly when they all heard an explosion coming from Jump City.

"Aww shit," Robin muttered as he face-palmed, "Please don't tell me that one of the harmless villains we were just making fun of is actually trying to take over Jump City."

"I am sick, and tired, of these motherfucking villains in this motherfucking city!" Cyborg exclaimed, throwing his hands up into the air.

"Let's fuck 'em up!" Beast Boy yelled, getting everyone else to let out a battle cry, even Yusei and the guys who are not heroes.

* * *

Over in Jump City, the Teen Titans and Yusei's group all arrived on scene, where a number of civilians were running around, their arms over their heads as they screamed in fear and for their lives.

"Hey, I just realized something," Jack began, "Yusei, Crow, Kalin, what the bloody fuck are the four of us doing here? We have no way of facing off against whatever villain is attacking the city, so at best we're a liability to the Teen Titans."

"If it wasn't for the fact that I left all of my weapons that I brought with us in Yusei's Volkswagen, we may have actually been able to help Robin and the others," Crow remarked, pounding his fist into his hand in a 'dang it!' gesture.

"Maybe we can assist with helping getting the civilians out of harm's way?" Yusei offered, "I mean, what the worse that can HOLY SHIT IT'S A GIANT FUCKING SPIDER!" Yusei stopped midsentence as he pointed to a giant spider that was wrecking random cars within eyesight of Yusei and the others. For some reason, the giant spider was actually the head of a teenage boy.

"Huh, well what do you know?" Cyborg said in a mildly amused tone, "I totally called it."

Scoffing, Raven said, "The fucktard is probably just pissed that Kitten dumped him, and he's going on a rampage to vent."

"That dude has a girlfriend?" Jack asked in an incredulous tone as he pointed at Fang.

"It would be correct to say that he _had_ a girlfriend," Starfire pointed out, "Fang used to be dating Kitten, but he was acting like a Klorbag Varblenelk, so Kitten gave him the dump."

"Eww," Crow said in a disgusted tone, "Just because he was acting like a whatever doesn't give the girl who was dating him the excuse to take a shit on his lap!"

Sighing in an annoyed tone, Raven said, "That's not quite what Starfire meant. What she meant to say was that Kitten dumped Fang because he was being a jerk. Starfire just has trouble with earth dialect sometimes."

"Oh," Crow replied in a dumbfounded tone, "…Well okay then. That's loads better."

"Titans!" Fang could be heard shouting angrily, getting the attention of the Teen Titans and Yusei's group; when they all turned to look, they saw that Fang was approaching them. "About time I found you bastards," Fang said as he pointed an accusing finger at the Titans and Yusei's group, "Both you and your friends here are going to be six feet under by the time I'm through with you!"

"You are a Klorbag Varblenelk, and Kitten was in the right to give you the dump!" Starfire shouted angrily, her eyes glowing with green energy.

"Exactly!" Crow shouted at Fang, "You're a whore-bag barber-elk and your ex-girlfriend was in the right to take a shit on your lap!"

"Titans, go!" Robin exclaimed, rousing himself and his teammates up for battle. As the titans charged at Fang, Yusei and the guys looked to each other.

"Shouldn't we take cover?" Kalin asked the other guys rhetorically.

"Yeah, I need to get my crossbow out," Crow remarked in a tone of agreement.

"Wait a bloody minute, Birdbrain," Jack began, "You said that you left all of the weapons you brought with you to Jump City back in Yusei's Volkswagen!"

"That's not actually true," Crow explained, "You see, I just remembered that I have my crossbow on hand, but I'm going to need a few minutes to get it out."

"Why do you need a few minutes?" Yusei replied, "In fact, where do you have your crossbow hidden on your person?"

"I have it securely hidden in my anus," Crow answered. The other three guys just starred at Crow; Jack's right eye was even twitching.

Facepalming, Yusei said in a resigned tone, "Fine, whatever. Look you guys, let's just get to safety so we won't be a liability to the Teen Titans and so that Crow has someplace safe so he can literally pull a crossbow out of his ass." As Yusei and the others ran into a nearby parking garage, the titans were busy fighting Fang.

Fang tried shooting some venom at Robin, but the Titan's leader swiftly dodged the attack while skillfully throwing an explosive disk at the mutated teen. As the explosion blew up in Fang's face, Starfire fired a star bolt at Fang while Raven used her magic to levitate a trashcan and chucked it at Fang. The star bolt struck Fang in the face, but he recovered just in time to see the flying trashcan, surrounded by a black aura, come flying at him.

Using one of his spider legs, Fang smacked the trashcan aside, causing it to fly towards Cyborg, who was aiming his arm cannon at Fang. Although the force of the trashcan hitting Cyborg wasn't enough to deter Cyborg's aim on its own, the surprise of being hit more than made up for it. Cyborg's cannon arm was knocked about ninety degrees off from Fang, causing the cannon to hit an unoccupied family car, making it blow up and go flying backwards surprisingly.

As the Yusei, Kalin and Jack hid, Kalin turned to face his friends to say, "How long do you think it will take Crow to pull his crossbow out of his ass?"

"Given that Birdbrain has actually managed to hide much larger things up his ass than a crossbow, I'm going to guess three minutes at most," Jack replied.

"All I hope is that Crow remembered some crossbow bolts," Yusei remarked, "I mean, what good is a crossbow if you don't have the ammunition for-" Yusei was cut off when the family car that Cyborg accidentally sent flying crashed down on top of him, killing him. (8)

"Holy shit!" Jack exclaimed in shock as he and Kalin watched a small stream of blood trickle out from under the car. It was around this time that Crow came over, having returned from a private area so that he could pull his crossbow out from his ass in peace.

"'Sup, hoes?" Crow greeted in an easy-going, casual tone, "I finally got my crossbow out. So, what the fuck did I miss while I was gone?"

"Yusei's dead!" Kalin exclaimed in a panic.

"I am NOT going to be the one to explain this to Akiza!" Jack swore in a worried tone, panic clear on his face.

Peeking out from where he and his friends hid, Crow said, "I'm guessing that the dude with the big ass spider for a head threw the car that landed on, crushed and killed Yusei." Aiming his crossbow at Fang, Crow said in a mildly bored tone, "Well, looks like it's up to me to avenge Yusei's death."

With the shot lined up, Crow pulled the crossbow's trigger, bending the bolt flying right at Fang. As the Teen Titans were fighting Fang, the crossbow bolt struck Fang in one of his right eyes, making him howl in pain as he cupped the bleeding area with his hands. "Sweet merciful fuck!" Fang exclaimed in agony, "Someone shot me in the fucking eye! Holy shit!" As Fang stumbled around in pain, the titans proceeded to attack him relentlessly.

Once Fang was beaten and laying on the ground, Jack, Crow and Kalin came out of hiding. Aiming his reloaded crossbow at Fang's head, Crow said, "The Penthouses send their regards." Crow pulled the trigger once again, resulting in him shooting Fang in the head, killing him.

"I know that Fang was a villain," Robin said to Crow as he and the other titans approached Crow and his friends, "But there was no need to kill him."

"He threw a car that landed on our friend Yusei, resulting in Yusei's death," Crow explained, "My remaining friends and I wanted bloody vengeance."

"Eh, fair enough," Cyborg replied with an indifferent shrug.

* * *

Back at Titans Tower, Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy were talking to Jack, Crow and Kalin. "Thanks for helping us save the city," Robin said to the remaining guys. Tossing a Titans communicator to Crow, Robin said, "Here's a communicator so we can keep in touch."

"But we already have each other's phone numbers," Jack pointed out, "Hell, Kalin and Cyborg are apparently good chums, and Crow sells the three of you pot!"

"The communicators are essentially video phones with unlimited data and minutes," Robin countered, "And you don't have to pay anything to keep them going."

Walking into the living room of Titans Tower, the six guys saw that Starfire, Raven, Jinx, Bumblebee and a fifth girl were all lazily lying about, giggling softly like loons. Face-palming, Cyborg said, "Ah hell, the girls got to the Mewni Mulch."

Pointing to the girls, Kalin asked, "The hell is all this?"

"Starfire and Raven like to get together with Bumblebee, Jinx and Kitten for girl time," Robin explained, "Although Starfire and Raven should have checked with us before inviting their friends over, especially since we have a dead body to-"

Robin was cut off when the doors behind him and the other five guys opened, making all six of them turn around to see Control Freak standing there. "Sorry for the intrusion, Titans," Control Freak greeted in a mildly apologetic tone as he walked up to them, "But Kitten called and asked me to come pick her up."

Looking over to where the guys were standing and seeing Control Freak, Kitten gasped and said, "Andrew! Sweetie!" Lazily getting up, Kitten walked over and threw her arms around Control Freak's shoulders.

"This prom queen stereotype is dating a basement dweller?!" Jack exclaimed in a tone of surprised shock.

"His real name is Andrew?" Beast Boy remarked in a confused tone.

Sniffing Control Freak's face, Kitten said, "Andrew, you smell like Cheetos. Are you a Cheeto? Because I could really go for some Cheetos right now."

As Kitten threw her head back to laugh loudly in a loon-like manner, Control Freak turned to face the guys. "…Did she smoke pot with Starfire, Raven, Bumblebee and Jinx again?" Control Freak asked, giving the six guys a confused look.

"Twelve ounces of Mewni Mulch," Crow confirmed, "And my friend Jack, Kalin and I were only going to collect the remains of our friend Yusei so we can get him back to New Domino City. Also, the keys to Yusei's Volkswagen are still in his jacket's side pocket."

"Speaking of Yusei," Jack remarked, "Where did his body go? I remember that Cyborg laid it on the floor in here and covered it with a white sheet."

At that moment, Starfire let out a loud belch, coughing up a saliva-covered jacket. The jacket that Starfire coughed up was unmistakably Yusei's jacket. Walking over to the drenched and slightly tattered jacket, Crow fished around in one of the front pockets until he pulled out a set of keys. Jingling the keys before the guys, Crow said with a sheepish grin, "At least we can still get ourselves home."

"I am SO not going to be the one to explain this to Akiza," Jack swore, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed in frustration.

END, CHAPTER THREE

Author's Notes:

(1) Crow's the kind of person who likes to nip his problems in the bud.

(2) Think Gimli's axe from LOTR.

(3) …Told you.

(4) I wouldn't.

(5) This will come up in the next chapter.

(6) Given that Kalin and Crow are familiar with at least one Teen Titan each, it shouldn't be much of a stretch to assume that Kalin and Crow may have some idea of what some of the Teen Titans are capable of.

(7) Most of Doctor Light's appearances feature him getting decimated by Raven, so yeah.

(8) It's just a flesh wound.

I was originally going to make Control Freak the villain that the Teen Titans fought, but as I was doing research on the wiki for this chapter, I discovered that, apparently, Kitten is a possible love interest for Control Freak. Additionally, I learned that in some of the Teen Titans comics, Kitten is on at least amicable terms with the heroes. Not only did all of this give me pause, but it sparked my interest. So, I reworked some of the scenes in this chapter to make Fang the villain that the Teen Titans faced. Additionally, I had planned to make Yusei the main character who dies in this chapter, and Fang has a giant spider for a head (Yusei reportedly has a fear of bugs and/or spiders), so it works out perfectly.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter four: Yusei and friends do Echo Creek

Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler were in a family-owned donut shop one morning in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. The guys were there picking up some donuts for themselves and the other residents of the Atlas Penthouse, those being Leo, Luna, Akiza, Carly and Brianna.

"…And that's when she told me that 'Cozy Conversations' was shut down due to protests from the older members of the community who thought that the business was an immoral blight on the city," Crow said to his friends as he wrapped up a story he was telling them while they waited for their order, "The shutdown resulted in her older sister losing her job."

"I can't believe that older people who are obsessed with being morally and politically correct have, once again, made things fucking sucky for everyone else," Jack muttered as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Next thing you know, they're going to try and get severe limits places on all of the things we like," Kalin remarked, "I'm not having a lot of trouble imagining those people arguing for laws that limit how much we can order at fast food places, as well as how big of a meal we can buy."

"I would sooner die than let some high and mighty holier than thou self-righteous prideful jackass control how much of my favorite soda I can drink," Yusei swore.

"…So, you would sooner die than let Major Burns tell you what to do?" Crow asked rhetorically. (1)

"Sure, let's go with that," Yusei replied in an indifferent tone as a girl working at the donut shop came up to the cash register with a pink box that smelled of sugary delight. After the girl called out to Yusei and the guys for them to come pick up their order, the guys collected the box of donuts, with Yusei paying for it, then the guys took their leave, got into Yusei's Volkswagen van, and drove back home to the Atlas Penthouse, where they and the rest of the residents would enjoy their donuts.

* * *

Later that morning, as Yusei and the other Atlas Penthouse residents were drinking coffee and eating donuts, Brianna turned to face Crow. "Hey, Sweetness," Brianna began, "I don't suppose you can give me a lift over to Echo Creek, can you?"

"Echo Creek?" Crow asked; both his expression and tone carried hints of mild confusion, making it clear that he needed a more detailed explanation.

"It's a neighborhood down in Los Angeles," Brianna explained, "My father, Bronk Sr., moved down there after he and my mother got divorced a long while ago. He was a teacher at Echo Creek Academy, which is the local High School."

"I'm guessing you want to visit your father for something?" Crow asked.

Her expression taking on a more somber hint, Brianna continued, "…My family and I were just informed that my father died."

"Oh shit," Crow remarked, "Babe, I am so sorry to hear that. That sounds terrible."

"It _is_ terrible," Brianna agreed as she started to tear up slightly, "Who's going to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day? Who's going to tell my future kids stories of the past? Who's going to buy my future kids toys that they will play with to the point that I'm driven completely fucking bonkers?"

"Forgive me if asking this is kind of a sensitive issue, but do you know how your father died?" Yusei asked.

"My family and I were told that he was attacked by a troll or some shit like that," Brianna said.

"Well you certainly have our sympathies, Brianna," Akiza remarked.

"Thanks, girl," Brianna replied as she wiped a tear from her eye, "I just need someone to take me down to Echo Creek so I can take care of business down there."

"Don't worry, babe," Crow remarked, "I'm sure that I speak for the other guys when I say that we would be more than glad to help you make the round trip."

"Uhh, Birdbrain," Jack interrupted, "We live in New Domino City, and you want us to suddenly head on down to fucking Echo Creek?! Do you know how fucking long of a drive that is?!"

With a shrug, Crow said, "It can't be any more than six to eight hours." (2) Seeing Jack's unamused look, Crow continued, "Oh, come on, Jack! This is serious! Brianna's dad died and she needs a lift so she can take care of the messy business that comes with handling the affairs of someone who just died. You'd be wanting to do this if it were Carly's dad who died!"

"My dad died sometime before I first met Jack," Carly remarked casually.

"Crow's got a point, Jack," Yusei pointed out, "Besides, we've made longer trips before. Remember Sunagakure?"

"Some red-headed little shit told me to stay away from land that he said was sacred to him," Jack remarked, "All I was doing was trying to keep Birdbrain from throwing virgins into the active volcano that was located on that quote unquote 'sacred land'."

"The point is that taking a long trip is no stranger to the four of us," Yusei said as he gestured to himself and the other three guys, "And compared to those other trips, the drive down to Echo Creek is pretty much a short, brisk walk. It's shouldn't be any issue for us."

"…Fine," Jack relented begrudgingly, "But we aren't going to listen to Birdbrain's mixtape on the drive down."

"Well it's a good thing I have my own mixtape," Brianna remarked with a grin, pulling out a cassette tape inside of a small tape case.

Facepalming, Jack muttered, "Bloody hell…"

* * *

Later that day, sometime between late afternoon and early evening, Yusei's Volkswagen van pulled into the parking lot of a two-story motel in Echo Creek. After the van came to a park and shut down, Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin and Brianna climbed out. Locking up his van, Yusei said, "Alright, gang. Since we're going to be here in Echo Creek for a few days, we're going to be checking in to this motel."

"It is a bit late to try and see the local law office to talk to them about handling my late father's affairs, so resting for the night sounds like a good plan," Brianna remarked.

"Hey babe, I've been meaning to ask," Crow began in a concerned and sympathetic tone, "How's the rest of your family handling your dad's death?"

"My mom's actually happy that dad died, as their divorce went down rather nastily," Brianna explained, "As for my younger brother Bronk, he's more or less indifferent as he doesn't even remember dad, given that the divorce went down back when Bronk was really young."

"Your little brother never even got to know his dad?" Kalin remarked in a sympathetic and mildly heartbroken tone, "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear that." (3)

"So how long do you think handling your dad's final affairs will take?" Yusei asked.

"No more than three to four days," Brianna replied with a shrug, "Maybe two days if we really focus on-"

Brianna was cut off when two teenagers, a boy and a girl, came riding by on skateboards, rushing past and startling Brianna, making her yelp in surprise. Due to being in close proximity of Brianna, the two teenagers stopped, with the girl of the pair stopping so suddenly she practically flew off of her skateboard and landed in a nearby pile of trash bags. "I'm okay," the girl called out weakly, "I landed on garbage."

"A good thing I also insisted on you wearing a helmet, elbow pads and knee pads," the boy of the pair said as he walked over to help the girl up, "Better safe than sorry, I always say."

"Oi, you bloody fucking half-wits!" Jack exclaimed at the two teenagers, "You almost ran us over! Watch where the fuck you're-"

"Hey, young lady," Crow said to the girl of the pair while interrupting Jack, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you a Mewman?"

Her eyes widening in shock and surprise, the girl said, "How can you tell?"

"I regularly visit Mewni, young lady," Crow replied as he pulled a pair of unique-looking scissors in a dark-brown leather sheave out from one of the pockets on his pants. The handles of the scissors were oval-shaped and were half-black and half-white, making it resemble the yin-yang symbol. A round red ruby, perfectly cut, was located on the center hinge.

Seeing the scissors Crow was holding, the girl gasped in shock. "You own a pair of Dimensional Scissors?!"

"Well how else can I get to Mewni to pick up some Mewni Mulch?" Crow replied as he put the scissors away back into the pocket he pulled them from.

"Oh, I would love some Mewni Mulch right now," the girl said, "It's the best stuff ever! Especially when baked into brownies!"

"I know, right?" Crow replied with a laugh as he and the girl both high-fived each other, "So what are you and your friend here up to right now?"

"We were on our way back to his place after doing some afterschool activities over at our high school," the girl explained, "We stayed longer than what we were counting on, so we're really hightailing it."

"Wait, is your school Echo Creek Academy?" Brianna asked the two teens.

"Well yeah," the boy of the pair replied, "Why do you ask?"

"I don't suppose either of you know a Bronk Stone Sr., do you?" Brianna asked, "He was my father."

"Oh shoot," the boy said, "Yeah, I saw him at the school a few times, but I never had a class with him. I heard about what happened to him too, so I'm really sorry for your loss."

"I don't suppose either of you two could give my boyfriend, one his friends or I directions to Echo Creek Academy sometime tomorrow, can you?" Brianna asked, "My father left his car there at the time of his death, so…"

"Sure thing," the boy replied, "I would be glad to take you over."

"Yeah, Marco here is a really nice guy," the girl said as she pointed to her friend, "He's always up for helping others."

"So, your name's Marco, eh?" Yusei said as he gestured to the boy, apparently named Marco.

Nodding in the affirmative, the boy said, "Yeah, my name's Marco Diaz."

"I'm Star Butterfly!" the girl of the pair nearly exclaimed in excitement as she held her hand out for a handshake, "Nice to meet you guys! I hope that we can all be friends!"

Yusei and the others in his group took a quick look at Star to try and judge what kind of a person she is. Star seemed to be a happy-go-lucky kind of girl that loves helping others, but she seemed to carry an air of having a sheltered upbringing, resulting in reckless naiveite. Star's friend Marco, on the other hand, seemed to be the calmer and more composed member of the duo; while seemingly just as good of a person as Star, Marco clearly looked to be a more rational thinker. Jack personally thought that out of the two teens, Marco would probably have the better grades in school.

Seeing that Star's hand was still held out, Yusei gingerly accepted the handshake; however, the instant Yusei accepted the handshake, Star shook his hand so hard that Yusei felt as if his shoulder was going to get dislocated. "I-it's great to meet you two as well," Yusei remarked as he rubbed his sore shoulder.

"Do you guys need a place to stay?" Star asked, "There's plenty of room in the castle loft I made in Marco's house with my magic!"

"Star, this is something we need to clear with my parents first," Marco pointed out.

"Your friend does have a point, young lady," Kalin remarked to the Mewman girl, "Although if they're willing to put up with my friends and I for a few days, then hey, who am I to turn down free room and board?"

"Plus, I can go with you guys to your school tomorrow and inquire about getting my late dad's car," Brianna added.

"Everyone wins!" Star exclaimed cheerfully, throwing both of her hands into the air.

Sighing in a resigned tone, Marco said, "Alright. We'll see what my parents have to say about it. I just hope they won't get too mad at us for being home late. Or for talking to strangers, for that matter."

"We'll just tell them that we saved you two from getting killed by robbers armed with guns," Crow said, "That should warm them up to my friends and I."

"I really don't like the idea of lying to my parents," Marco remarked in a concerned tone.

" _That boy is a good kid_ ," Jack thought as he considered Marco, " _Birdbrain can defiantly learn a thing or two from him_."

* * *

Yusei and the others all eventually made it over to the Diaz's residence; upon entering, Marco and Star removed their protective gear, with Star immediately putting on a red devil horn headband after she removed her helmet.

As it turned out, not only were Marco's parents not upset over Marco and Star being a little late because they were helping Yusei and the others, but they eagerly welcomed Yusei and his group to stay for the few days they would be in Echo Creek. Marco's parents even ordered a few pizzas for everyone to eat for dinner.

As Yusei and his group ascended the stairs into the castle loft in the house, Jack let out an impressed-sounding whistle. "Bloody hell," Jack remarked, "How did you say you afforded this add-on again?"

"I made it using magic," Star replied casually.

"Yeah, Mewmans like miss Butterfly here can use magic, Jack," Crow pointed out to his blonde roommate, "After all, they aren't from around here." (4)

After the group finished ascending the stairs, Star led them down a hallway with a few doors along the walls. "Pick whatever rooms you guys want to use," Star remarked in a courteous manner, "My home is your home."

"Isn't this technically the home of your friend Marco and his parents?" Kalin asked.

Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Star said, "Don't be a smartass, white-haired guy."

"Yeah, Kalin," Crow remarked, "Don't be a smartass."

"Just so you guys know, Star and I will be leaving for school early tomorrow," Marco pointed out, "We've got some stuff to do with some of our friends at school. In fact, the stuff we have to do is part of the reason why we ran late and as a result met the five of you."

"What are you kids doing anyway, might I ask?" Yusei said, a curious look on his face.

"Our school wants to cut fine arts so it can put all of the money from fine arts into the football team," Star explained, "Which is totally uncool!"

"We stayed behind today partly to plan out our protesting the school possibly cutting fine arts," Marco added, "And we're probably going to end up staying behind afterschool tomorrow to continue our work."

"You kids want my friends and I to help you out?" Crow offered.

With an excited squee, Star exclaimed, "That would be so amazing, you guys!" Throwing her arms around the guys and Brianna, Star added, "Thank you all so much!"

"Birdbrain, why do you consistently volunteer our group as a whole for activities without even consulting us beforehand?" Jack asked as he turned his head sharply to face Crow.

"Because you never help anyone unless you're forced into it against your will," Crow replied.

"That's preposterous!" Jack exclaimed, "I'll have you know that I'm always will-"

"Because Carly will threaten to withhold sex with you if you don't help her," Crow interrupted, anticipating what Jack was going to say and countering his argument before the blonde turbo duelist could even finish speaking.

"…Goddamn it, Birdbrain," Jack muttered begrudgingly as he, Crow, Yusei and Kalin all put their hands together and threw them up into the air.

* * *

The following day, as Brianna was talking with the school principal about getting her late father's car, Yusei and the guys were talking with Marco and Star, along with a few classmates of theirs; Alfonzo, Ferguson and Janna. "Okay you guys," Marco said to his and Star's friends plus Yusei and the guys, "I figure that if we're going to save fine arts from being cut from the school, we should start with gathering signatures on a petition."

"Or we can just set the football field on fire," Crow offered as he raised a hand.

"Birdbrain, you can't resort to arson first thing every time to solve your problems," Jack said with a moan of frustration, "Remember the time you tried to keep from having to take out the trash?"

"Taking out the trash is not my chore!" Crow insisted.

"You guys can't set the football field on fire," Star interjected with a mildly disappointed hint in her voice.

"Because you kids will get in trouble?" Kalin guessed.

"No," Star said as she closed her eyes and hung her head in shame, "I already tried setting the football field on fire. It didn't work because some magic water-spraying gnomes came out of the ground and put the fire I made out."

"Magic water-spraying gnomes?" Yusei repeated in confusion.

"Star's talking about the football field's sprinkler system," Janna clarified, "She's still trying to figure things out ever since she came to Earth from Mewni."

"So, gathering signatures on a petition is out, along with setting the football field on fire," Crow remarked as he held a hand to his chin to give himself the look of being deep in thought, "This is going to be tougher than I imagined."

"Who ever said gathering signatures on a petition is out?" Alfonzo asked.

"I did," Crow answered, "But that's beside the point. The point is that we need to think of a way to convince your school not to cut fine arts so that the football team will have a budget more bloated and runaway than the sense of self-control the average girl has when she's celebrating her sweet sixteen." (5)

"We can pass out flyers telling the student body what's going to happen if nothing's done," Ferguson suggested.

"We can do a live play about what will happen to the morale of the school if fine arts are cut," Alfonzo offered.

"We can steal all of the principal's pens so that he can't sign the papers needed to make the cuts," Janna interjected.

"We can hold a non-violent protest," Marco remarked.

"We can hold a violent protest," Star said.

"Alright, here's what we'll do," Jack said as he got up from the chair he was sitting in to walk over to the chalkboard. Picking up a stick of chalk, Jack continued, "I'll write down the three most appealing ideas that you five came up with, and we'll all vote on which one to implement." After about half a minute, Jack wrote 'pass out flyers', 'school morale play' and 'non-violent protest' on the board, leaving enough space underneath each idea for tallies in a vote.

"Hey Jack, I'm only asking this in the interest of fairness, but why didn't you write down either of the girls' ideas?" Kalin asked.

"Yeah, why you gotta be racist?" Star asked, giving Jack a wincing glare.

"Two things," Jack replied as he turned to face Star, "One, the term you're looking for is 'sexist' not 'racist', and two, the reason why I didn't write down either of the suggestions that you or the other girl made is because both ideas are criminal in nature. If anything, those ideas will only serve to hinder your goal of saving fine arts at this school."

"Jack's right," Yusei pointed out to the students, "The idea we have to implement has to not only convince the school not to cut fine arts, but won't get you kids in trouble."

"I was going to suggest that we dig a ten-foot-wide by ten-foot-deep moat around the football field, fill it with water, then put sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads into the water," Crow remarked, "That'll turn people away from football." (6)

Giving Crow a bemused look, Marco said in a sarcastic tone, "Sure, and hey! While we're at it, why not let Star's Laser Puppies loose on the football field?"

"Laser Puppies?!" Star exclaimed excitedly.

Facepalming, Marco muttered, "Good going, Marco. You just gave Star an idea."

Opening her little star-shaped side bag, Star pulled out her wand and waived it around, summoning a bunch of adorable puppies. "My goodness, they're adorable!" Kalin remarked as he clasped his hands together.

"But why are they call Laser-" Yusei began, but he was instantly cut off when one of the Laser Puppies fired laser beams out of its eyes at Yusei, making him jerk to the side quickly to avoid getting blasted in the face by lasers.

"Mighty fuck!" Jack exclaimed as he eyes widened in shock due to seeing his friend nearly getting blasted by lasers. To Star, Jack snapped, "How in the hell can you summon puppies that shoot lasers out of their eyes?!"

"I'm a magical princess from another dimension!" Star said as she spun in place while waiving her wand around, creating a rainbow that appeared over her head. Exactly one second after it was created, the rainbow burst into flames.

"Holy shit!" Yusei exclaimed in alarm as he quickly took a bottle of water that was on a nearby desk, unscrewed the cap, and splashed the contents onto the blazing rainbow. When doing that made the flames even bigger, Yusei took a quick whiff of what was in the water bottle.

"Who the fuck puts malt liquor in a water bottle?!" Yusei exclaimed.

"Oh, you found my water bottle!" Crow said as he took the water bottle from Yusei, "Sweet! Thanks, man!"

As Crow drank the remaining contents of his water bottle, Yusei and the others took of their jackets and started beating the flames with them. Eventually, the fire was smothered, and the jackets of Yusei, Kalin and Jack got burn marks on them but were otherwise okay. To Star, Marco said, "You haven't been practicing making rainbows that don't burst into flames, have you, Star?"

After a few seconds went by with Star not responding, Marco said, "Star…"

"I haven't," Star admitted in an ashamed tone as she looked down at the floor.

Seeing that Star looked upset, Marco said in a reassuring tone, "Well hey, Star, no harm was done. You can practice making non-combustible rainbows when we get home today, and I'll be there to help you. How does that sound?"

"…Can you make some nachos for us to snack on?" Star asked, sounding as hopeful as she dared.

With a kind chuckle, Marco replied, "Sure thing, Star."

"Yay!" Star cheered as she hopped up and down, "Your nachos are awesome! The Laser Puppies love them too!"

"Yip! Yip!" one of the Laser Puppies yipped as it wagged its tail. One second later, that particular Laser Puppy fired laser beams from its eyes, blowing a hole through the world map that was hanging on the wall in the classroom.

Jack got up to walk over to the map to see the examine the extent of the damage that was done to it. Turing around to face Star, Jack said in a sarcastic tone, "Congratulations, young lady. Your laser-shooting dog just destroyed the Bermuda Triangle."

"Silver lining, no one's going to get lost there now," Crow joked.

"We've got to get back to the bloody point of this meeting," Jack stressed as he walked back over, "Convincing the school to not cut fine arts because it thinks the coffers for the football teams needs extra padding."

"Well," Yusei said as he turned his eyes towards the chalkboard where Jack wrote all of the suggestions he liked that were made by the students, "Out of the three non-criminal ideas that Marco, Star and their friends came up with, I think Marco's idea for a non-violent protest sounds the most appealing."

"Yeah, and non-violent protests have a way with grabbing media attention," Kalin remarked, "Once people see on the news that Echo Creek Academy is considering cutting fine arts, we're bound to get loads of support."

"I have two questions about the non-violent protest," Star said as she raised a hand.

"One, we cannot bring the Laser Puppies," Marco remarked, drawing a disappointed 'aww' from Star. With a knowing grin on his face, Marco continued, "…And two, sure, I'll make everyone some nachos for the protest." This drew some delighted squeals from Star, who hopped up and down as she clapped her hands.

Leaning to Kalin's left so he could whisper into his ear, Yusei said, "How did he anticipate what the girl was going to ask?" All that Kalin did to respond to his friend's question was to give a confused shrug.

* * *

The following day, Marco, Star, their three friends from the meeting, and a few other students who attend Echo Creek Academy were standing around in the main courtyard, holding protest signs. Yusei and the guys were there helping out, as Brianna was still busy trying to manage the various final affairs concerning her late father.

"Okay, everyone!" Janna called out using a megaphone, "The reason why we're all here is because our school's going to try and cut all of the fine arts classes! Not only will this move take away some of our favorite classes, but it will also leave some of the coolest teachers at Echo Creek Academy out of a job! Are we going to stand for this?"

The gathered students, along with Yusei and the guys, all shouted in the negative, with Crow exclaiming, "Fuck no!"

As the students started their protest, Yusei and the guys turned to face each other. "Well from the looks of things, I'd say that they're really getting into the protest," Yusei remarked, "I think that this might actually work."

"That Star girl just smeared lines of black paint under her eyes before chaining herself to one of the outdoor cafeteria tables," Jack pointed out, drawing the lines of sight of Yusei, Crow and Kalin over to where Star was sitting backwards on the seat of an outdoor cafeteria table, holding a protest sign that said 'Freedoom fore fin farts' (7). There was a chain around Star's waist, keeping her bound to the cafeteria table.

As the four guys observed this, Janna walked over, chained herself to the cafeteria table in a manner similar to Star, smeared lines of black paint under her eyes, and picked up a protest sign that had the same message as Star's, albeit with everything spelled correctly ('Freedom for fine arts'). Turning to face Jack, Yusei added, "At least they haven't gotten violent yet, Jack."

"There are the protestors, officers!" an adult male voice called out, getting everyone to turn and see Echo Creek's principal, Principal Skeeves, accompanied by at least eight police officers; two were holding onto riot hoses, and four were holding the leashes of German Shepherds that were barking and snarling at the protesting students. "They are disturbing the rest of the school with their protest, officers!" Principal Skeeves proclaimed, "I want all of them arrested right away!"

"Principal Skeeves, we're exercising our first amendment rights over here," Janna called out over from where she and Star had chained themselves to the outdoor cafeteria table, "And you're bringing police officers with riot hoses and dogs?!"

"Your student over there has a point, sir," Yusei said to the principal, "They're keeping their protest peaceful and non-violent, and yet you resort to riot hoses and police dogs right away? If the student's protesting the possible cuts to fine arts wasn't going to make the news before, it will certainly make the news now!"

"ARF! ARF!" one of the German Shepherds barked angrily as it got loose from the officer that was holding its leash. The dog ran over to Marco and tackled him to the ground, biting down on Marco's left forearm as the Hispanic teen raised his left arm to try to cover his face; being bitten by the dog made Marco cry out in pain.

"Marco!" Star cried out in worry, immediately fishing her wand out of her little star-shaped side bag; aiming her wand at the German Shepherd that had Marco pinned, Star fired a giant fist made of rainbows at the dog, punching it in its left side with enough force to make it let release Marco's left forearm out of its mouth while throwing the dog off of Marco.

"That girl just attacked one of our dogs!" one of the police officers exclaimed as he pointed at Star. Immediately, one of the police officers handling a riot hose took aim at where Star was sitting and turned on the riot hose, blasting both Star and Janna. It was the two girls getting blasted by the police-controlled riot hose that set things off.

"RIOT!" Crow exclaimed, getting everyone on scene to start fighting. As the students swarmed the police officers while Principal Skeeves fled to the safety of his office, Yusei, Jack and Kalin all ran into the school building for cover, and Crow picked up a trash can and threw it in an overhead throw at one of the police officers, knocking that officer to the ground.

"This place is bloody fucking nuts, I swear!" Jack exclaimed as he, Yusei and Kalin all ducked into a Janitor's closet for safety, "Not just the students for rioting, but the school staff and local police officers for triggering the riot in the first place when not bringing the riot hoses and police dogs would have allowed things to go on peacefully!"

"I know I'm going to regret asking this," Kalin began in a mildly worried tone, "But where's Crow?"

Right after Kalin finished asking that question, the guys all heard a number of the students in the riot outside cry out in panic. "…Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me," Yusei muttered in an annoyed tone as he facepalmed.

* * *

After the riot died down, Yusei, Jack and Kalin came out of hiding; when they did, they saw a number of other police officers having arrived on scene. There were also a few paramedics, one of which was tending to Marco's injuries as a worried-looking Star watched, gripping her wand tightly in worry.

"Hey boys, what the fuck did I miss?" Brianna asked in an easy-going casual tone as she walked up to Yusei, Jack and Kalin.

"The school's principal apparently resorts to riot hoses and police dogs first thing to stop student protests," Yusei remarked, "As a result, a riot broke out."

"Where's Crow?" Brianna asked as she looked around. As the girl looked around, a female paramedic came up to the group.

"Excuse me, but do the four of you know a mister Crow Hogan?" the paramedic asked.

"Yeah, we're actually looking for him," Yusei replied, "Why do you ask?" In response, the paramedic gestured for Yusei, Jack, Kalin and Brianna to follow her. Eventually, they were led over to where a white sheet laid on the ground, covering a body. Lifting the sheet back a few inches, the paramedic revealed that Crow was laying under the sheet; the bullet wound in his forehead was a clear indication that Crow was killed in the riot.

"One of the police officers shot and killed your friend when he threw a trash can at one of the police dogs, to distract it from tackling an overweight student to the ground," the female paramedic explained, "I'm sorry for your loss."

As Jack laughed hysterically while pointing at Crow's dead body, Yusei and Kalin turned to face Brianna. "You're taking Crow's death surprisingly well, Brianna," Yusei remarked.

With a shrug, Brianna replied, "Ehh, he'll be alive again in the next chapter." (8)

"Well anywho, did you get all of your late father's final affairs sorted out?" Kalin asked. After Brianna nodded in the affirmative, Kalin replied, "Well in that case, I think now would be a good time to get going back to New Domino City."

"Come on, Jack," Yusei called out as he turned his head to face the direction Jack was in, "We're heading back home."

"This is the happiest day of my life!" Jack exclaimed joyously with a laugh.

END, CHAPTER FOUR

Author's Notes:

(1) Never let it be said that Crow doesn't appreciate the classics.

(2) I actually looked this up.

(3) …I never really got to know my step-grandfather before he died.

(4) They're from another dimension.

(5) All that my oldest sister did for her sixteenth birthday was have a party at a bowling alley.

(6) Crow is actually a sharks-with-frickin'-laser-beam-attached-to-their-heads breeder.

(7) The 'e' in 'fore' and the 'f' in 'farts' were both written backwards.

(8) She's right, you know.

There's chapter four done and over with. While I brainstorm ideas for other locations for Yusei and the guys to go to in order to raise their particular brand of hell (I'm already toying around with at least three locations), I'll wait for what people think about my first dedicated crack fic while working on chapters for my other stories.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter five: Yusei and friends do Super Hero High School

It was a peaceful and lovely enough day over in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. The Atlas Penthouse seemed perfectly fine as four of the residents of said penthouse, Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, walked up to the front door after having returned from doing a bit of grocery shopping.

"That's when her little brother made me something that he called a Peanut Butter and Sauerkraut sandwich," Crow said in a casual and conversational tone as he and the other three guys got up to the penthouse's front door, "Despite how it may sound, it actually tasted pretty damn good. After finishing the sandwich, I proceeded to ask him for the recipe." (1)

"From the sound of things, Birdbrain," Jack remarked as he opened the front door, "It doesn't sound all that difficult of a recipe to figure WHAT IN THE BLOODY FUCK HAPPENED HERE?!" Jack changed his trail of thought and dialogue midsentence when he and the other three guys saw, to their shock, that there was a rather large hole in the penthouse's ceiling, exposing the living room to the elements.

…And by 'rather large hole in the penthouse's ceiling', I mean that the penthouse's living room no longer _has_ a ceiling. Standing in the middle of the ceiling-less living room were Akiza Izinski, Carly Carmine and Brianna Stone, the respective girlfriends of Yusei, Jack and Crow. As the guys looked at the girls, Leo and Luna the wonder twins came walking into the living room. Looking to the guys, Leo said in a deadpan, "Yeah, guys. Akiza, Carly and Brianna thought that it would be a good idea to pet-sit for the new next-door neighbors."

"Pet-sitting did _this_?!" Jack exclaimed as he gestured to the lack of a ceiling in the penthouse living room. Facing the women, Jack said, "Carly, girls, what the bloody fuck were the three of you looking after?!"

"Pokémon," Carly replied in as casual of a tone as she could manage. (2)

"Pokémon?" Yusei repeated in a confused deadpan.

Nodding in the affirmative, Akiza said, "It's true, Yusei. The new next-door neighbors are a mom and her twin fourteen-year-old children, one boy and one girl. Both children own a party's worth of Pokémon each, and the girls and I were asked to pet-sit all twelve of those Pokémon while the mom and her kids went to assist their elderly aunt with moving furniture."

"So, one of the Pokémon that you girls watched did this?" Kalin asked as he pointed to where the penthouse living room's ceiling used to be.

"Well how the fuck was I supposed to know that the boy's Palkia would freak out upon eating some spicy sashimi rolls that I gave it?" Brianna replied in a defensive tone as she shrugged.

"I'm guessing that it had a nature that inhibits the growth of its physical attack stat," Crow remarked as he wore a look of consideration, "Pokémon with natures that inhibit the growth of the physical attack stat hate spicy foods."

"Well this is just great," Jack remarked as he threw his hands up into the air, "My penthouse's living room in now completely devoid of a ceiling, exposing everything to the elements!"

"Can we at least get the family whose Pokémon did this to cover the costs of replacing the ceiling?" Yusei asked.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Akiza replied. Holding up a sheet of paper that had some instructions written on it, Akiza said, "Partly because this whole mess is kind-of Brianna's fault, as she didn't even read the instructions that the boy left concerning his Pokémon, which would have told Brianna that the boy's Palkia has a Timid nature-"

"I knew it!" Crow exclaimed.

"-But mostly because the next-door neighbors can't afford to replace the penthouse living room's ceiling," Akiza finished.

"Well shit," Jack swore, "Ain't this just fan-fucking-tastic." Looking skyward, Jack shouted, "How the fuck are we going to fix this-" Jack was cut off when he suddenly coughed and spat at the floor. "A fucking bird just shat in my mouth!" Jack exclaimed as he spat and coughed.

Looking up, Akiza said in a conversational tone, "Oh, that was actually the neighbor girl's Gliscor. He must be out getting some exercise."

"Okay everyone, first thing's first," Yusei began as he got everyone's attention, "We need to restore the penthouse's living room's ceiling, then we need to send in for an application for the aspect of our home owner's insurance that covers living in close proximity to Pokémon."

"How are you going to afford fixing the ceiling, Yusei?" Luna asked.

"It's not so much fixing the ceiling, so much as it is getting a new ceiling altogether," Leo pointed out to his twin sister.

"Luckily for me, an old friend of mine is looking to hire some help at the school that she runs," Crow remarked, getting everyone's attention, "Conveniently, she needs to hire four new people. I'll just call my friend up, tell her that Yusei, Jack, Kalin and I are in the market for some new jobs, and bada-bing bada-boom, the guys and I will get the employment we need to be able to afford to replace the penthouse living room's ceiling."

"And where, pray tell, does your friend work, Birdbrain?" Jack asked as Crow pulled out a smartphone to call up his friend.

"Super Hero High School," Crow replied in a casual tone as the other end of the call was at that moment picked up.

As Crow talked on the phone with his friend, Kalin asked, "Are we just going to overlook the fact that one of the next-door neighbor kids owns a deity?" (3)

* * *

The following afternoon, Yusei and the guys pulled into a parking lot at Super Hero High School in Yusei's Volkswagen van. "So, Crow," Yusei began as he locked the van up, "Who is this friend of yours who works here?"

Before Crow could answer, they heard a woman's voice say from behind them, "About damn time you boys got here!" The guys turned to see a dark-skinned woman with short black hair walk up to them. She wore a black long-sleeved suit-top that was open in the front, revealing a dark-blue (4) dress shirt worn underneath. The woman also wore a black dress skirt that reached close to her knees, black high heel shoes, a gold necklace with three circles hanging off the front, and two gold earrings, one in each ear lobe, that were both circular and roughly the same size as the middle gold circle on the necklace.

"Amanda B. Waller," (5) Crow remarked in a happy tone upon seeing the woman, "Girl, it's been ages!"

"Crow F. Hogan," replied Amanda, sounding just as happy to see Crow as he is to see her. Holding her arms out, Amanda said, "Come here and give me a hug, my nigga!"

"Wait a minute," Jack began as Crow and Amanda hugged each other, "Birdbrain, your middle initial is F?"

"Yeah," Crow replied as he turned to face Jack and the other guys upon breaking out of the hug with Amanda.

Sighing, Jack continued, "I know I'm probably going to regret asking this, but what does the F stand for?"

"Fucking," Crow replied in a casual tone, "Which means my full name Crow Fucking Hogan."

Sighing in a knowing manner, Jack muttered to himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Of course, that's what the F stands for. Of course, it is."

"These your friends you were telling me about over the phone, C-Fly?" Amanda asked as she turned to face Crow.

Nodding in the affirmative, Crow replied, "Damn straight, girl! Going from left to right, their names are Yusei Fudo, Kalin Kessler and Jack Atlas."

"Ma'am, we were informed that you're looking to hire some new staff members here," Yusei began in as respectful a manner as he could manage, "Is this true?"

"That is indeed true," Amanda replied. Turning around, Amanda said as she gestured for Yusei and the guys to follow her, "Well don't just stand there with your thumbs up your asses, boys. Come on in!"

* * *

In Amanda's office in the school's main building, Amanda sat at her desk as Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin stood before it. "So, Crow," Amanda began, "You think that you and your friends have what it takes to teach here at Super Hero High School?"

"This isn't the first time I taught at a High School," Crow replied, "I can handle it."

"Wait a minute," Yusei said, "Crow, you have experience teaching at a High School?"

"I subbed for one of the teachers back when we visited Echo Creek," Crow explained, "Also, one of my previous trips to Royal Woods prior to Music-palooza involved me subbing for one of the teachers at Royal Woods High."

"Ma'am, with all due respect, why would you even consider trusting Birdbrain here with the task of teaching some of the students here at this school?" Jack asked Amanda while jerking a thumb at Crow.

"Because I trusted him with my diet and exercise regimen from a while ago," Amanda replied as she opened a desk drawer. Removing something, Amanda laid what she removed, a photo, on her desk and slid it over to the guys. It was Yusei who picked up the photo, which showed a full-body picture of a _very_ well-fed Amanda Waller. "It's thanks to Crow that I dropped well over two-hundred pounds," Amanda remarked, "I may not have even become the person I am today if it were not for Crow."

"I used a dance-based workout routine I picked up during one of my trips out to Konohagakure," Crow remarked as he turned to face his friends, "It involves using a different dance every day. The inventors of the routine used it to help some really fat local lady drop a lot of weight."

"…Impressive," Yusei remarked as he handed the photo back to Amanda. After Amanda put the photo away, Yusei said, "Well ma'am, I have another question concerning this school."

"Go on, child," Amanda replied, giving Yusei the go-ahead to proceed.

"Seeing how this is a High School," Yusei began, "Is there a clique of popular students at this school who the boys and I should be made aware of? You know, a group consisting of five to seven students, most if not all of the students in the group being girls, that routinely solves the vast majority of the problems here at the school?"

"Like the human versions of those ponies that Brianna likes so much," Crow remarked as he held up his right index finger. (6)

"Now that you mention it, I gathered seven of the students to serve as your welcome party and to take you boys on a tour of the school," Amanda replied, "In fact, they should be-" Amanda was cut off when someone knocked at her office door. "Come in!" Amanda called out loud enough to have been heard on the other side of the door. At that prompting, a teenage girl opened the door and entered the office.

She had long orange hair, green eyes, and fair skin. She wore a purple long-sleeved shirt with a yellow bat-shaped symbol over her chest, gold-colored arm guards, black gloves, a yellow utility belt with a bat-shaped symbol on the center in the front, black pants, and yellow boots. "I was told that the new teachers arrived, Principal Waller?" the girl said in a mildly unsure tone as she entered the office.

Turning to face Amanda, Crow asked, "Who the fuck is this girl? She's not one of the geeks here at the school, is she?"

"Oh, hells yeah, C-Fly," Amanda replied with a casual nod in the affirmative. Gesturing to the girl who just walked into the office, Amanda said to Yusei and the other guys, "Boys, this here is Barbara Gordon. She's one of those straight-A students who you can trust." Looking to Barbara, Amanda continued, "Young lady, these here are the new teachers."

"I'm Yusei," Yusei greeted. Gesturing to Jack, Crow and Kalin (in that order), Yusei continued, "These are my friends Jack, Crow and Kalin."

"Is there anything we should know about you before we begin the tour?" Jack asked.

"Well," Barbara replied as she began to list things off of her fingers, "I have a GPA that exceeds 4.0, I love working with computers and other technology, my bestie is a Kryptonian, my dad is a police commissioner, oh, and I'm also known as Batgirl."

"…Explanation, please?" Kalin said as he turned to face Amanda.

"Yeah, this is a High School for superheroes," Amanda stated, "But then again, you'd have to be a dummy to not realize that, especially given that the name of the school is _Super Hero_ High."

"Crow, why didn't you tell us the students at this school were superheroes?" Yusei asked, "I'm not sure about you, but I feel like something like that is info that we need to be made aware of right away."

With a casual shrug, Crow replied, "I personally don't see what the big deal is."

"So, when do we start?" Jack asked when he turned to face Amanda.

"The tour or your jobs?" Amanda replied.

"Yes," Jack said, drawing a confused look out of the principal.

Gesturing for Yusei and the other guys to follow her, Barbara said, "Well sirs, don't just stand there! I've got a tour to take you on!" After they all exchanged confused looks and indifferent shoulder shrugs, Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin all proceeded to follow Barbara so she could show them around the school.

* * *

"So, Barbara," Yusei began as he and the other guys followed Barbara, "You mentioned that you love working with tech. I can assume from that statement that you're a dab hand at working with computers?"

"Oh, defiantly," Barbara replied as she gave a quick nod in the affirmative, "In fact, if it weren't for me, not a single computer in this school would be functional."

"Because your principal is a cheap bastard who refuses to upgrade the computers in this school to models beyond systems made in the nineteen-eighties?" Jack asked.

Giving Jack a confused look, Barbara said, "Umm, no. Because a few weeks back, my friend Harley tried to fix Hal Jordan's desktop computer. When she tried to fix Hal's computer, Harley somehow managed to create and upload a computer virus that was able to spread to every last computer on campus. I was able to clean up Harley's mess in quick order, and even make all of the computers more resistant to viruses."

"…Why did your friend try to fix a computer when she is very clearly a walking tech-bane?" Jack asked, giving the teenaged superhero a confused look.

"She said that she wanted to be more like me," Barbara replied, "Granted, she should have just asked me to fix Hal's computer instead, but I still think it's rather sweet that she wanted to be like me."

"Hey Bat-see!" a cheerful and bubbly voice called out, then before anyone could react, another teenage girl came cartwheeling over. Coming out of her cartwheeling, the girl threw her arms around Barbara and drew her into a friendly hug. This new girl had long blonde hair that was up in two pigtails, one coming down each side of her head, with one having a red streak and the other having a blue streak. She wore a top with a red, white and black diamond pattern and black puffy short sleeves, blue shorts, one red stocking and one black stocking, white socks, blue shoes with gray soles, and a black eye mask over her face.

Looking over Barbara's shoulders and spotting Yusei and the other guys, the new girl said, "Hey Bat-see, who are these new guys?"

"These are the new teachers that Principal Waller brought in," Barbara explained. To Yusei and the guys, Barbara said, "Sirs, this is my friend Harley, who I was just telling you about."

"The name's Harley Quinn! Nice to meetcha, sirs!" Harley nearly exclaimed in happy excitement as she shook the guys' hands one by one, very nearly dislocating Kalin's right shoulder in the process.

"You seem like a nice kid, Harley," Crow remarked, "I can already tell that having you in the classroom will make things fun!"

" _Great_ ," Jack thought in a bemused tone as he watched Harley and Crow exchange laughs, " _I think that we may have just found Birdbrain_ ' _s illegitimate daughter_." (7)

"So, girls, you two seem like good friends," Yusei began, "There wouldn't happen to be any more friends of yours that my friends and I should be made aware of, is there?"

As he saw Harley's eyes and smile widen while she gasped in an excited manner, Jack muttered, "Smooth move, Yusei."

* * *

Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin were soon, by courtesy of Barbara, introduced to five other girls that Barbara and Harley were friends with. "These are the other girls that Harley and I told you about," Barbara said to Yusei and the other guys as Wonder Woman, Bumblebee, Katana, Poison Ivy and Supergirl all stood side-by-side (8), "Going from left to right, their names are Diana, Karen, Tatsu, Pamela and Kara." Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin all just stood there, taking in all that they were learning in the sudden info dump. Trying to memorize five new names all at once is not all that easy.

"So, you guys are the new teachers?" Kara said as she walked up to Yusei and the other guys.

"Yeah, Blondie," Crow replied as he tried to pop his jacket collar (it didn't work), "We're here to show you and your other classmates how to do things New Domino City style."

"Excuse me?" Kara said in a mildly offended tone, "What did you call me?"

"I called you the High Queen-Duchess of Charleston Chews, but that's beside the point," Crow replied, "Now then, girls. Seeing as how this school looks like there's on-campus dorms where students live, is there a place where the boys and I can crash while we're here?"

"Yeah, Crow's got a point," Yusei said to the girls, "My friends and I need to settle in while we're teachers here."

Tatsu said something to Yusei and the other guys in Japanese, to which Harley said in a mild pouty tone, "I hate it when you do that to us, Katana! You know I don't understand you when you use that beautiful language of yours!"

To Tatsu, Yusei spoke something else in Japanese, then followed that up by giving Tatsu a thumbs-up. To the group as a whole, Yusei said, "Tatsu here said that she can show the guys and I to some available dorm rooms on the top floor of the dorm building. She says that the view you can see from the windows on the top floor is nothing short of breathtaking."

"The view from high up is pretty amazing," Kara remarked in a knowing tone, "Trust me."

* * *

That night, after the guys had settled in, they all went to bed, intent on starting their teaching jobs first thing in the morning. As they slept, Crow got up out of his bed while mumbling, "Goddamn themysciran cooking. That's the last fucking time I let miss perfect convince me into trying some cuisine from her homeland." Walking out of his dorm room and down the hall to a restroom, Crow mumbled in an annoyed tone, "It's like the fucking Amazons haven't even heard of-"

Crow stopped short when he heard someone fall over, followed by hushed, angry swearing. Mildly alarmed, Crow followed the direction that the noises came from while drawing his Sig Sauer 9MM from its holster on his right side. After turning a corner, Crow spotted what appeared to be a shadowy figure sneaking into the dorm room of one of the girls. His eyes widening just a bit, Crow quickly tip-toed over to the dorm room in question and walked in.

Five seconds later, a gunshot sounded from the dorm room, followed by the occupant turning on some lights while screaming in fright.

* * *

The following morning, the main seven girls, along with about twenty or so classmates, were standing outside at one of the practice ranges. Standing before them was Crow, who had a table outside a little bit off to his left; there was a sheet covering various items that were laying on the table. "Good morning, class," Crow greeted as he walked from left to right while holding his arms behind his back, "My name is Crow Hogan, and I am one of your new teachers."

"Hello, Mr. Hogan," the students all said in unison.

"Now class," Crow continued, "As I am certain that some of you may have heard by now, sometime during the night last night, a masked gunman snuck into one of the dorm buildings and into the room of your classmate Barbara. Luckily for your classmate, her amazon friend's cooking gave me a really bad case of the squirts, so I got up in the middle of the night to find the bathroom so I could take a shit, which is why I caught the gunman in the act and shot him dead before he could do the same to your friend."

"That man was a mere thug," Crow continued, "No superpowers or anything fancy like that." Crow then walked over to the table and pulled the sheet off, revealing that the sheet was covering a collection of various paintball guns. "All he had was a gun," Crow explained to the class as he gently stroked the paintball guns, "Not a paintball gun like one of these, but an _actual_ gun that could have actually killed your classmate."

To the class, Crow said, "Using these paintball guns, I'm going to get you kids to learn how to handle guns so that, if you're ever stuck in a situation where your usual arsenal of gadgets and powers are out of commission, you can still fight back."

"Where are the paintball targets?" Pamela asked as she raised a hand. Looking around, she added, "I don't see any paintball targets."

"You kids _are_ the targets," Crow said with a mischievous smirk. As he handed out the paintball guns, Crow said, "Class, for today's lesson, I want you to run around the field here while you all shoot at each other with the paintball guns that I have just provided you with."

"Fuck yeah!" Hal Jordan exclaimed at the top of his lungs, raising the paintball gun he was given up into the air. The rest of the class cheered in a likewise manner.

* * *

In another classroom during the next period, Yusei was standing in front of a chalkboard as he wrote his name on it. When he was done writing, Yusei turned around to face the class. "My name is Yusei Fudo," Yusei greeted the class, "And I will be your-" Yusei stopped short when he saw that a few of the students in his class were covered in paint.

Seeing that Kara was one of the paint-covered students in question, Yusei said, "Kara, why are you and some of your classmates covered in paint?"

"Mr. Hogan had everyone in his first period class run around one of the practice ranges while shooting at each other with paintball guns," Kara explained.

"…Seriously?" Yusei replied in a deadpan.

Kara said as she nodded a few times in the affirmative, "I was even told that Principal Waller not only greenlit the lesson plan personally, but expressed regret about not being able to take part in the lesson plan herself." Yusei could only sigh in a defeated tone as he shook his head.

* * *

In another class that took place later on, Kalin was in a science classroom. "According to the lesson plan that I was provided with, we're going to brush up on basic forensic skills," Kalin said as he picked up a clipboard from the teacher's desk in the classroom.

"Oh, oh, Mister Double-K," Harley said in her usual excited tone as she raised a hand, "When do we get to science?"

"Umm, according to one of the notes on the lesson plan, I was told that you lost your science privileges for the week, miss Quinn," Kalin replied in a tone that was three parts unsure and seven parts confused.

Slumping over the surface of her desk, Harley said in a pouty tone, "Aww fiddlesticks."

* * *

During lunch, Yusei and the other guys sat together to discuss how the day went for them so far. "I'm still concerned about the attempt on Barbara's life last night," Crow remarked after taking a swig from his to-go cup, "I mean, who would want her dead? The Joker? The Penguin? Pacifica Northwest?" (9)

"That last one makes no sense, Crow," Jack remarked right before eating a forkful of salad.

"Even so, I cannot overlook the fact that Barbara was nearly killed last night," Crow remarked.

"But we are apparently willing to overlook the fact that the new neighbor boy owns a deity," Kalin remarked before taking a sip from his drink.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but Crow raises a valid point," Yusei said to the others, "One of the students was almost killed. Who's to say that there won't be another attempt on one of the student's-"

Yusei was cut off when the entirety of the school shook, as if an earthquake was taking place. "The hell was that?" Yusei said as he got up and ran outside, with Jack, Crow and Kalin following him. When the four guys got outside, they saw that a tall-and I do mean _tall_ \- mech was walking through the city.

"…How come I knew that some bad guy was going to attempt some crazy scheme while we were here?" Yusei asked rhetorically as six of the main seven girls came running up to Yusei and the other guys; only Barbara was missing.

"Lex Luthor just kidnapped Barbara!" Pamela exclaimed.

"We also discovered that the thug that Mr. Hogan killed last night was actually an employee on the LEXCORP payroll," Karen explained, "We think that Lex Luthor's behind everything!"

"Wait a minute," Jack interrupted, "I thought that Lex Luthor had a beef with Supergirl and her ilk. Why the fuck would he try to screw with Batgirl?"

"Barbara's dad, Commissioner Gordon, is the police officer leading an investigation against LEXCORP concerning allegations of tax evasion, workplace discrimination, and possession of child pornography," Diana explained, "Lex Luthor must be trying to send Barbara's dad a warning against trying to investigate further."

"That ass-fucking son of a shit-eating whore-bitch!" Kara exclaimed angrily at the top of her lungs, "I will tear his head off and shove it up his ass so hard that it comes out of the still-bleeding neck hole! Then I'll chuck his headless corpse into the sky so hard that it flies into the fucking sun!"

"…Jesus," Yusei remarked, "You really hate to see your friends in danger, don't you, Kara?"

"It's more than that, Mr. Fudo," Pamela explained in an understanding tone, "Kara and Barbara are besties. And if there's one thing that you ever learn about High Schools, it should be that you _never_ mess with a girl's bestie."

"Especially if the girl is a bloody Kryptonian," Jack remarked in a mildly subdued tone of shock.

As he watched the giant mech walk through the city, Crow said, "Well, looks like I have to perform a summoning ritual."

"Summoning ritual?" Yusei, Jack and Kalin all said in unison.

Turing to face the girls, Crow said as he handed Harley a list, "Can you girls do me a solid and gather the items on this list?"

"Sure thing, mister H!" Harley replied as she gave Crow a salute right before she went off with the girls to gather the things that Crow requested.

* * *

A few minutes later, Yusei, Jack and Kalin watched as Crow had just finished drawing a circle on the ground with chalk; the circle was approximately the size of a large above-ground swimming pool. As Crow used the chalk to divide the circle up into five even wedges, Jack said, "What the bloody hell are you planning to summon, Birdbrain?"

"You'll see when I perform the ritual," Crow replied as he made the final line in the circle, making it look like a pie chart with five even wedges. Right when Crow did that, the six girls came over, with each girl other than Tatsu carrying something. Crow said as he pointed to the top-most wedge and going clockwise, "Diana, put the lump of dirt from a plane in that wedge. Kara, put the bowl of sand from an island in the wedge going clockwise from the lump of plane dirt. Karen, put the tub of swamp water in the next clockwise wedge. Harley, put the stone from a mountain in the next clockwise wedge. Pamela, put the shard of bark from a tree from a forest in the wedge between the plane dirt and the mountain rock."

Once all of the girls put their respective items in the wedges as they were told, Crow said as he raised his hands straight up into the air, "Now that the set-up is finished, I will now say the summoning chant." After inhaling and exhaling, Crow proceeded to sway from side to side while his hands were still raised as high as he could get them. As Crow did this, he said, "Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao! Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao! Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao!" (10)

As Yusei, Jack, Kalin and the girls watched this, Jack said, "The bloody fuck is Crow-" Jack was cut off when a crack in the fabric of space appeared in between two nearby buildings. The crack was forcefully widened from the other side as a towering creature of otherworldly origin came out from the crack and into the city. This creature roughly resembled a mushroom cap that had countless tentacles coming out from the bottom of said mushroom cap. The creature let out a loud cry that sounded like countless cats being strangled.

"AN ELDRAZI?!" Jack exclaimed angrily. Turning to face Crow, Jack shouted, "DID YOU JUST SUMMON A FUCKING ELDRAZI?!"

"Not just any eldrazi, but one of the three big-daddy eldrazi!" Crow said with a hint of pride in his tone. Gesturing to the creature he had just summoned, Crow said, "Boys and girls, say hello to Emrakul the Promised End!" Turning to face Emrakul, Crow shouted, "Hey Emrakul!"

Having heard someone shout its name, Emrakul turned to face the direction the shout came from. Seeing Crow in the circle, Emrakul let out another cry, showing that it was acknowledging Crow. Pointing to the giant mech that was walking through the city, Crow shouted, "You see that thing? Go kick its ass for us!" Understanding the order, Emrakul floated towards the mech, tapped it on the shoulder from behind, then proceeded to slap it repeatedly when it turned around.

When the mech turned around, Karen said as she pointed to the mech's chest area, "That thing had the LEXCORP insignia on it! Lex Luthor's behind the mech!"

"Lex must be using the mech as a diversion of some sort so he can get away with his plans involving Barbara," Pamela reasoned as she held a hand to her chin.

"Well the Eldritch Abomination that Crow has just summoned is taking care of the mech for us," Yusei said, "That leaves us with-" Yusei was cut off when the mech kicked at Emrakul and missed, kicking up a car that flew through the air and landing on top of Yusei, which resulted in Yusei being crushed to death. (11)

"Mr. Fudo's dead!" Harley exclaimed, "Goddamn it!"

"Relax, this happens to the four of us all the time," Jack replied in a dismissive tone, "We should be more focused on trying to stop Lex Luthor." As the fight continued to go on, a pod jettisoned from the mech when it looked like Emrakul had the upper hand in the fight.

"That looks like an escape pod!" Crow exclaimed as he pointed at the pod, "Someone must have been piloting the giant mech!"

"I'm on it!" Kara said as she flew quickly at the pod as it flew away. Luckily, Kara was faster, and she was able to catch the pod in quick order. Bringing it towards the ground, Kara punched a hole in the pod on the side of a door, then yanked the door off entirely, revealing Lex Luthor inside of the pod.

Giving the young Kryptonian girl a defiant glare, Lex said, "I'm not afraid of your cousin, nor am I afraid of you. Go ahead and do-" Lex was cut off when Kara grabbed him by the collar of his suit top.

Bringing Lex's face closer to hers, Kara said with an expression and tone that were both menacing, "You _should_ be afraid." The Kryptonian girl's eyes began to glow a hot, fiery red, indicating that she was going to go full force with her laser eyes. As Lex Luthor shat his pants, Kara said, "I am giving you one chance. Where…is…Barbara?!"

* * *

Later, as police cleaned up the scene while some students from the school helped with handling the wrecked remains of the mech, Jack, Kalin and Crow stood with the seven main girls; in the time between Kara capturing Lex Luthor and the police all showing up, Barbara had been rescued (at some point between all of that, Emrakul returned to the realm from which it was summoned). Jack, Crow, Kalin and the seven girls were all being questioned by Amanda.

"Let me see if I got this straight," Amanda began, "C-Fly summoned Emrakul the Promised End to fight the giant LEXCORP mech, Mr. Fudo was crushed to death by a random car that was kicked up, Supergirl caught Lex Luthor as he tried to flee, and she got Batgirl's location out of Lex, right before she killed him." Looking around, Amanda asked, "Where's Luthor's body?"

"I threw it into the sun," Kara replied casually.

With an indifferent shrug, Amanda replied, "Meh, Luthor was getting to be a pain in my ass anyway. Good riddance."

"Well folks," Crow said as he put his fists on his hips, "I say all's well that ends well!" Everyone other than Jack, Kalin, Tatsu and Barbara proceeded to laugh; the non-laughing people just stood around with confused looks on their faces.

END, CHAPTER FIVE

Author's Notes:

1\. Crow is never one to shy away from trying new cuisine.

2\. Yes, Pokémon exist in the world of this story.

3\. Yes. Yes, they are.

4\. Going off of a picture I found on the internet; I'm guessing it's dark-blue.

5\. B really is Amanda Waller's middle initial; it stands for Blake.

6\. Thanks to Brianna, Crow also saw the movies. Not that he paid much attention, though.

7\. Which would be kind of difficult, considering that Harley is a teenager and Crow, like the other three guys, is in his early twenties.

8\. I am NOT taking the time to describe what each girl looks like, because the chapter will drag on if I do. Look up what they look like if you want to know.

9\. …Yeah, this will come up at some later point.

10\. This will also come up at some later point.

11\. The girls were too worried about Barbara to think straight; otherwise, either Diana or Kara could have very easily saved Yusei.

There was actually a scene where Jack, while teaching Physical Education, had to tell some students he caught using superpowers to knock it off. However, to avoid this chapter going on for too long, I decided to cut that scene.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter six: Yusei and friends do Chinatown

Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas and Kalin Kessler were drinking their morning coffee at the dining table in the Atlas Penthouse one day. As Yusei and Kalin both sipped their respective coffees at the same time, Jack remarked, "Yusei, Kalin, I don't suppose either of you two know why Birdbrain hasn't woken up yet, have you?"

"Crow isn't awake yet?" Yusei asked as he spoke about Crow Hogan, the fourth member of their number, "Well that certainly explains why it's been so quiet so far today."

"Maybe he died in his sleep," Jack guessed, "Oh, I hope that Birdbrain died in his sleep."

"It's too early for any of us to die yet," Yusei pointed out, "Crow must not have woken up yet."

Suddenly, a tear appeared in the fabric of space next to the table that the guys were drinking their coffee at. The tear widened into a portal from which Crow stepped out of. "'Sup, hoes?" Crow greeted as he slipped his Dimensional Scissors into his right front pocket, "What did I miss?"

"Well we were wondering why you hadn't woken up yet," Kalin explained.

"That's because I never went to sleep," Crow replied, "Well, I didn't go to sleep here on Earth."

"…Where were you?" Yusei asked, a mild amount of trepidation in his tone. (1)

"Well first," Crow began, "I went to Equestria because I had to return the little talking unicorn girl that I kidnapped from there the last time we went there. Then I made a quick trip to Mewni to pick up another gallon-sized plastic bag's worth of Mewni Mulch. After I got some more of the good stuff, I went from Mewni to the Netherworld, so I could chillax with my good friend Shendu. Together, we smoked the entirety of that gallon-sized bag of the good stuff, and I woke up just a few minutes ago. Before I left, however, Shendu, who was so grateful to spend some time with someone whose presence he actually enjoyed, gave me a little parting gift before I came back here."

Before Yusei, Jack or Kalin could ask what he got, Crow reached into the side pockets of the sleeveless jacket he wore, removed some items, and deposited them on the table. Yusei, Jack and Kalin saw that the items were twelve small stones, octagonal in shape, and each bearing a different image; each image resembled a different animal. "Shendu told me that these things are called 'talismans'," Crow explained, "He also said that each one provided different powers."

"Did he tell you what those powers were, and which talisman provides which power?" Kalin asked.

"…FUCK!" Crow exclaimed at the top of his lungs as he looked upwards, shaking his hands in the air angrily, "We completely forgot to cover that!" (2)

Picking up one of the talismans, the one with the image of a dog, Yusei said, "I know a place in Chinatown that may be able to help."

"You know, out of all of the time I've spent living here in San Francisco, I have never actually been to Chinatown," Jack remarked, "I'm actually rather keen on going there at some point."

"I've been to Chinatown a few times, but only because Akiza more or less dragged me there on each occasion because she wanted to see the sights and do some shopping," Yusei explained, "During the last trip I took to Chinatown because Akiza didn't want to go alone, we went into an antique shop that Akiza pointed out." Setting the dog talisman back down, Yusei said to the other guys, "That antique shop is the place that I have in mind."

"Well what the fuck are we waiting for, dudes?" Crow asked, "Let's go to Chinatown!"

"Can I at least finish my coffee first?" Kalin asked before taking another sip of his coffee. Yusei, Jack and Crow, with deadpan looks, all starred at Kalin for the entirety of the time it took for Kalin to finish the rest of his coffee.

* * *

Later, Yusei and the other guys, having arrived in Chinatown, pulled up next to an antique shop that had a Chinese-style architecture. "This is the place, you guys," Yusei said as he and the others climbed out of Yusei's Volkswagen van. As Yusei locked up his Volkswagen van, a man came walking out of the antiques shop.

A much older gentleman of Chinese heritage, this man had gray hair, wore a white shirt under a yellow vest that was open in the front, blue jeans, and brown shoes. He also wore a small pair of armless glasses with circular lenses on the bridge of his nose. "Hello there," the old man greeted in a friendly tone, sounding like the older Asian man that he was, "Welcome to Uncle's Rare Finds. I actually just open store just now, so you four very lucky to be the first customers of the day."

"Hello, sir," Yusei greeted as he turned to face the older man, "My friends and I were actually hoping that you can help us with something."

"Please, please, come on in," the older man said as he turned around and gestured for Yusei and the others to follow him, "I'll have Tohru make some tea."

As the four guys followed the older man inside, Crow whispered to Yusei, Jack and Kalin, "I like this old man. He seems really nice."

* * *

Inside of the antique shop, Yusei and the other guys sat around a table that they were led to by the older man. "So, boys, what brings you four here to Uncle's Rare Finds?" the older man asked.

"Yeah, some dude that Crow was hanging out with last night gave him some magic rocks or something like that, Mr. …" Yusei began to explain, but he stopped short. With a bit of a chuckle, Yusei continued, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I ever got your name, sir."

"Call me Uncle," the older man replied, "Everyone does." At that moment, two people came walking into the room that Uncle, Yusei and the guys were in. The first was a rather tall and very well-fed Japanese man that had short black hair. He was wearing a white shirt, dark-colored overalls and black sandals. This man was also carrying a tray that held a tea pot and a few cups.

The second person was a notably short girl with black hair. She wore a white long-sleeved shirt under an orange sweatshirt whose sleeves were roughly the length of the sleeves of t-shirts. The girl also wore blue jeans and a pair of red shoes. Jack noted, to his mild confusion, that the girl was apparently not wearing socks. The girl was carrying a small package of cookies. (3)

"Your morning tea, sensei," the tall well-fed man said in a respectful tone as he set the tray down on the table.

"I figured that you'd like something to go with your tea, so I went and got these," the girl said as she placed the package of cookies on the table next to the tray.

"Ah, well aren't you sweet," Uncle said to the young girl. Turning to face the tall well-fed man, Uncle continued, "And I was just about to ask you to make some tea for our guests. Thank you, Tohru."

"Are these your employees or something?" Jack asked Uncle while gesturing to the tall well-fed man and the short girl.

"This is Tohru, my apprentice," Uncle said to the guys as he pointed to the tall well-fed man. Pointing to the short girl, Uncle continued, "And this is my grandniece Jade."

"Well it's great to meet you two," Yusei greeted as he waved to them in a friendly manner with his right hand.

"So, what brings you sirs by?" Jade asked.

"These," Crow replied as he dumped all twelve of the talismans onto the table. When Crow did this, Uncle, Jade and Tohru all jumped back a bit in surprise.

"Aiiee-yaaaahh!" Uncle exclaimed as his eyes went wide with surprise, "The talismans have returned from the Netherworld!"

"Yeah, Crow got ahold of them somehow, and none of us have any idea on what any of them do," Kalin pointed out.

"Hey Uncle, maybe you and Tohru should show them how the talismans work," Jade suggested, "I mean, they might get themselves hurt if they try to figure things out themselves."

"She raises a good point, sensei," Tohru said.

"We will have tea first," Uncle replied, "Then I show them how use talismans."

"I'll get some extra cups for the guests," Tohru said as he turned around to head back to where he came out of.

While Tohru was busy getting the extra cups, Jack whispered to Yusei, "What the fuck do they feed that man? Whole fucking cows?!" In response, Yusei merely shrugged.

* * *

In an empty lot located somewhere near Uncle's Rare Finds, Yusei and the guys stood next to Uncle, Tohru and Jade. Holding up the dog talisman, Uncle said, "First we cover what dog talisman does. While possessing dog talisman, one is immortal, immune to otherwise fatal injuries."

"So, if I aim my gun at your head and pull the trigger," Crow began as he pulled out his Sig Sauer 9MM, "It won't do jack shit?"

"Umm, could you please watch your language, sir?" Jade asked, both her tone and expression showing uncertainty in confronting Crow, "Also, could you please put your gun away?" (4)

"I was just trying to provide an example, young lady," Crow replied as he holstered his gun, "I wasn't actually going to fucking shoot your granduncle."

"No fucking cussing at my grandniece!" Uncle exclaimed at Crow and the other guys, "Cussing scares the shit out of her!" (5)

"Uhh, sensei…" Tohru began as he held up his right index finger, his expression looking mildly confused.

"So, putting gun safety and foul language aside for now," Yusei said as he tried to get things back on track, "What do the other talismans do?"

"Ah, very good question, young man," Uncle replied. Holding up the dragon talisman, Uncle continued, "The dragon talisman here allows one to-" Uncle was cut off midsentence when a loud shattering sound came from Uncle's Rare Finds, and the shattering sound was followed by an alarm going off.

"Aiiee-yaaaahh!" Uncle exclaimed, "My store being fucking robbed!" Running in the direction of his store, Uncle said, "We cover other talisman powers later! We go stop fucking robbers right now!"

As Tohru and Jade ran after Uncle, Yusei and the other guys looked to each other. "Now wait just a bloody minute here," Jack began, "Someone's store is being robbed, and Birdbrain is _not_ responsible for it?!"

"Well fuck you too," Crow replied in a casual snarky tone, flipping Jack the middle finger.

"Come on, you guys," Yusei said as he gestured for Jack, Crow and Kalin to follow him, "They're helping us figure out Crow's talismans, so the least we can do for them is help them with the robbers."

"That old man should really watch his language," Kalin remarked as he, Jack and Crow followed Yusei back to the antique shop.

* * *

When Yusei and the others arrived on the scene, they saw that a large window in the front of the store was shattered. Also, Yusei saw that the cash register was missing, and that Jade was laying on the floor in a fetal position while screaming loudly in pain, clutching her left shin which was bleeding.

"This bullshit!" Uncle exclaimed as he paced back and forth, "Robber broke into my store, steals fucking register, then he shoots my grandniece in shin with gun! This fucking bullshit!"

"Did you call the police?" Yusei asked, trying to be helpful.

"Fuck no!" Uncle exclaimed at Yusei, "Police here take forever to help old people! I'm better off hiring mercenaries off of streets! They would get better results and quicker!"

"Hey Uncle," Crow began, "If it helps, my friends and I can me those mercenaries."

"Birdbrain, I'm pretty sure that out of the four of us, you're the only one who came here with a weapon," Jack said.

"Dude, relax," Crow replied, "I keep a stash in Yusei's Volkswagen van."

"Yeah," Yusei replied in a bemused tone, "That weapon stash almost got Akiza arrested when she used my Volkswagen van to do some grocery shopping."

"Look dude," Crow said to Yusei, "Are you on board with tracking down that robber or not? Because we aren't going to be making any progress just standing around here with our thumbs up our asses."

"*sigh* Fine, whatever," Yusei replied, "Let me use your crossbow."

"I didn't bring my crossbow," Crow explained, "I brought my Sig Sauer 9MM, a pair of brass knuckles, a bowie knife, my Gimli battle-axe, and an RPG-7."

"You have a fucking RPG-7 in my Volkswagen?!" Yusei exclaimed angrily at Crow, "You own an RPG-7?!"

"I also brought a dozen rounds for it too, if that helps," Crow added with a smirk.

"Of course, you brought an RPG-7 and a dozen rounds for it," Jack said to Crow in an exasperated monotone, "Of course, you did."

"Shouldn't we calling an ambulance to take her to the hospital?" Kalin asked in a very clearly concerned tone as he pointed to Jade, "She needs immediate medical attention!"

"Tohru already called for ambulance," Uncle explained, "But that beside point. Point is you guys go track down fucking robber now!"

"I don't suppose either you, Tohru or your grandniece saw which direction the robber took off in, have you?" Yusei asked.

"He drove off in that direction," Tohru said, pointing to the right.

"Alright, thanks," Yusei replied. Turning to face his friends, Yusei said, "Come on, you guys, we got a robber to track down."

* * *

As the four guys drove down the road in the direction that was pointed out to them, Crow said, "Hey boys, before we left the antique shop, I managed to get this lot back." Crow pulled out some of the talismans from his coat pockets. "We should use these bad boys to fight against the robber," Crow suggested, "I mean, if anything, their magical powers of making us immortal should keep any us from getting killed this chapter." (6)

"Shouldn't we not use any of the ones we don't know the powers of yet?" Kalin asked in a concerned tone, "I mean, what if one of us unknowingly blows himself up or something?"

"Kalin's got a point, Crow," Yusei remarked, "We should just stick with your weapons stash that nearly got Akiza arrested that one time."

"You aren't going to let that go, aren't you, Yusei?" Crow asked. Slamming his left fist, which held some of the talismans, against the side of the van, Crow said, "Damn it, dude, how many times to I have to apologize for nearly-" Crow was cut off when the Volkswagen van started to suddenly go _way_ faster than what should be possible.

"Holy shit!" Jack exclaimed as the guys struggled against the force at which they were going, "Yusei, how come you never told us your van could travel at ludicrous speed?!"

"I didn't know!" Yusei exclaimed, "Who the fuck has been messing with my baby?! My baby isn't supposed to be doing this!"

"We're going to go to plaid at this rate!" Kalin exclaimed out of fright, "Step on the brakes, Yusei! Step on the fucking breaks!" Doing as Kalin half ordered-half begged, Yusei slammed his foot on the brakes, causing the Volkswagen van to stop so suddenly, that Crow flew forward, crashed through the front window of the van, and fly into a pile of nearby trash bags sitting against the wall of a nearby building.

"It's okay, dudes," Crow called out as loudly as he could in his somewhat weakened tone, "I landed on garbage."

After Yusei, Jack and Kalin got out to check on Crow, Yusei said, "Are you alright, Crow? You flew out of the van pretty fast."

"Pfft, that wasn't the first time I was ejected from a vehicle in such a manner," Crow said casually as he got up, "Hell, I'm surprised that Brianna's mom didn't get arrested for that reckless driving of hers."

"Well now that we've most likely overshot our bloody fucking target by who knows how much," Jack remarked as Crow dusted himself off, "We need to-" Jack was cut off when he and the others heard the sound of someone's window shattering. Turing to face the direction that the noise came from, the four guys saw an armed robber run out of a laundromat, carrying a register in his right arm while shooting with his left.

"Maybe this dude knows the robber who robbed Uncle's place," Crow suggested as he led the other three guys over to the robber.

When the four guys came up to the robber, he said, "Who the hell are you four?"

"Excuse me, sir," Crow began in as polite of a tone as he could manage, "But seeing as how you have very clearly just robbed that store, maybe you can help my friends and I."

"Well I _did_ shoot and kill the only person in the laundromat at the time I robbed it, so I guess I have a few minutes to spare before the fuzz shows up," the robber replied as he sat the register he was carrying down.

"Here's the thing," Crow said as he began to explain, "My friends and I were at an antique shop that's owned by an older man of Chinese heritage. The man was helping us figure something out in an empty lot near his store, but we had to stop short when he heard that his store was being robbed. When my friends here and I had caught up, the older Chinese man's register was stolen, the window in his storefront was completely shattered, and the man's grandniece was shot in one of her shins. Her right shin, I believe."

"Left shin, Crow," Kalin corrected, "She was shot in her left shin."

"Right, her left shin," Crow said to the robber, "Anywho, my point is this; seeing as how you're a robber, my friends and I were wondering if you may know the guy who robbed the older Chinese gentleman's store, as that robber and you are both robbers."

"Hmm, let me think," the robber said as he pondered Crow's story, "You said that it was an antiques shop that was robbed, right?" After Crow nodded in the affirmative, the robber said, "Yeah, sorry. I never go after antique shops myself as I have mad props for the history that you can learn from visiting such places, nor do I know of anyone who exclusively goes after antique shops. But I _do_ know of a few thugs who don't give a shit about what kind of store they rob. If you'd like, I'd be glad to provide you with a list, provided you guys can give me a lift back to my hideout."

"Sure thing, dude," Crow replied as he gestured for the robber to follow him, "Come on, my bud Yusei can give us a lift in his Volkswagen van."

As the group made their way back to the Volkswagen, Jack whispered to Yusei, "Okay, how in the name of the greatest bloody hell that I've ever exclaimed did Birdbrain manage to build up a rapport with some random armed thug in the span of a few seconds?"

Shrugging indifferently, Yusei replied, "It must be because Crow and the thug recognized each other as fellow criminals."

"Are you seriously comfortable with giving a lift to a man who had just confessed to pulling a robbery slash murder a few seconds before we started talking to him?" Kalin whispered to Yusei.

With another indifferent shrug, Yusei whispered back, "You speak as if Crow's never done anything worse." Kalin looked like he was about to argue, but he stopped short and dropped the subject upon realizing that Yusei was all too right.

* * *

A few minutes after they dropped off the robber at his hideout, Yusei and his friends proceeded to check out the list of suspects that they got from the robber. With Yusei driving and Kalin in the passenger seat looking at the list, the gang stopped off in front of the home of the first person on the list.

When Crow climbed out of the Volkswagen, he said as he slipped something into one of the pockets on his jacket, "The three talismans I was holding prior to being ejected from the Volkswagen fell under the seat I was sitting on." Patting both jacket pockets, Crow continued, "Don't worry, I found them, so we still have all twelve."

"Well ain't that fan-tucking-fastic," Jack remarked, "We're about to confront a potential armed gunman, and you think a dozen magic rocks, only one of which we know the function of, will help us fight back?" Scoffing, Jack continued, "You might as well call up the neighbor girl and have her Empoleon piss himself on our living room carpet again!"

"That was actually the neighbor boy's Lucario who did that because Carly didn't let her out into the backyard to do her business in time," Yusei pointed out, "But that's beside the point." To Crow, Yusei said, "Can you go get the weapons that you stashed in my Volkswagen?"

"You want I should toss you the RPG-7?" Crow asked, trying to sound helpful.

"Umm, thanks, but I think I'd rather use the bowie knife," Yusei replied.

"I'd like to use the brass knuckles, if that's okay," Kalin said as he raised a hand.

"Let me use your bloody gun, Birdbrain," Jack said as he made a 'hand it over' gesture towards Crow.

"Alright, here you go," Crow said as he handed his Sig Sauer 9MM over to Jack, "Let me go grab the requested gear from the van. I also have a few extra clips for the gun if you run out."

About a minute later, Crow returned with two extra clips for his gun, his pair of brass knuckles, his bowie knife, and his RPG-7. "You are not bringing that into a one-story private residence," Yusei deadpanned as Crow rested the weapon on his right shoulder.

"Dude, the fuck-tard who robbed Uncle's store shot an adorable elementary school-age child in the leg," Crow pointed out as he patted the side of his weapon, "As far as I'm concerned, the guy's ass is grass."

"That thing can potentially get the four of us seriously hurt due to the recoil, Birdbrain," Jack pointed out, "It's not like we're immortal or anything!"

"Dude! Thanks for reminding me!" Crow said as he sat his weapon down. Reaching into the front pockets of his jacket, Crow pulled out all twelve of the talismans. "I'll keep the dog one, the horse one and the dragon one," Crow said as he started distributing the talismans between himself and the guys, "Yusei can use the snake one, the ox one and the bunny one, Kalin can use the pig one, the rooster one and the monkey one, and that leaves Jack with the tiger one, the sheep one and the rat one."

Once all of the talismans were properly distributed, Crow said, "Now that each of us are carrying magic rocks that make us immortal, we don't have to worry about random recoil from me using my RPG-7."

Looking at the talismans that Crow handed off to him, Jack said, "Why do I feel as if I was just flipped off by someone?" (7)

"Suck it up and be a man," Crow replied as he walked up to the front door of the house they stopped off at. Crow forced the door open with a stomp-kick before walking in, with Yusei, Jack and Kalin following Crow in straight away. As the four guys walked around, a man wearing only a white men's tank-top and a pair of boxers came out of the one hallway. He was also holding a handgun in his right hand.

"Who the hell are you?" the man demanded in a pissed-off tone.

Quickly turning to face the guy so that he aimed the RPG-7 at him, Crow said, "Did you rob an antique shop called Uncle's Rare Finds?"

"Oh, umm, you see, about that-" the man said as he dropped his gun, fell to his knees and placed his hands behind his head.

"It was you, wasn't it?" Yusei said in an accusing tone as he walked up to the surrendering man.

"Please, you gotta let me explain," the man said as he confessed to having robbed Uncle's Rare finds, "I have a family to feed and-" The man never got to finish, as Jack shot him in the middle of his forehead with Crow's gun, killing him instantly.

"Hey, if I didn't do it, then Birdbrain would have done it and made a complete mess of things," Jack pointed out as he received confused looks from Yusei and Kalin.

"The fuck makes you think I would have made a big mess of things?" Crow asked in an accusing tone.

"You have a bloody RGP-7, Birdbrain," Jack pointed out, "Using one of those at close range would not only be messy, but dangerous as well."

Crow looked like he was going to argue, but quickly dropped the matter, realizing that Jack actually had a point.

* * *

Later, Yusei and the others pulled up next to Uncle's Rare Finds, with Yusei and Jack carrying the register that was recovered from the home of the guy who robbed the place. "Bloody hell, Yusei!" Jack said, "How did one man carry a big-ass heavy old style register like this?! He didn't look like he lifted back before I shot him!"

"Maybe he was running on an adrenalin high after committing a crime, and that gave him a serious strength boost?" Yusei guessed. (8)

As Kalin and Crow climbed out of Yusei's Volkswagen, Uncle and Tohru came walking out of the shop. "Ah, you got my register back," Uncle said, "Very good, boys, very good. Thank you very much."

"Allow me," Tohru said as he walked up to Yusei and Jack, grabbed the register, and effortlessly carried it back into Uncle's Rare Finds.

"Wow, now that man very clearly lifts," Jack remarked in amazement as he watched Tohru carry the register back into the store.

"Oh, and that tea that he served us was fantastic," Yusei remarked, "Was it some sort of tea bag that you can only buy here, or was it some kind of a loose-leaf blend? Because I'm betting that my girlfriend Akiza would love to try it."

"Ask Tohru when he come back out," Uncle replied, "He does shopping."

"By the way, is your grandniece going to be okay?" Kalin asked, "She seemed to be in a lot of pain when my friends and I left."

"Jade will be fine," Uncle said, "She very strong for girl her age."

Smiling with relief, Kalin replied, "Well I am glad to-"

"Jade stronger than Uncle's last ten bowel movements combined," Uncle said as he interrupted Kalin, "She will be fine."

As Kalin's eyes went wide with shock mixed with confusion, Tohru came back out of the shop. "I put the register back where the robber took it from, sensei," Tohru said.

"Thank you, Tohru," Uncle replied, "Uncle's ancient arms no have strength for carrying big-ass heavy old style register. You save Uncle lots of pain killers just now!"

As Uncle went back into the shop, Yusei asked Tohru about the tea that he served earlier. "It's a loose-leaf blend that I picked up from a specialty shop here a few blocks down," Tohru said, "If you want, I can give you the store's address and the name of the loose-leaf blend so you can get some for yourself."

"That would be fantastic, man, thanks," Yusei said.

"Well dudes, I'd say that today was a success," Crow said confidently.

"And by that, you mean…" Kalin replied, trailing off while expecting Crow to fill him in.

"By that I mean that none of us died," Crow explained, "But then again, how could we?"

"The hell are you on about now, Birdbrain?" Jack asked, giving Crow an incredulous look while he had his fists on his hips.

"The magic rocks we brought with us make us immortal, dude," Crow replied, "Here, watch." Pulling out his Sig Sauer 9MM, which he had gotten back from Jack, Crow aimed the gun at Jack's head and fired, shooting the blonde turbo duelist in the side of his head, killing him.

"Crow! The fuck is wrong with you?!" Yusei exclaimed as he, Kalin and Tohru all regarded Crow with alarmed looks.

"Dudes, I just said that the magic rocks make us immortal," Crow explained as he holstered his gun, "Jack will simply regen from the gun wound like Deadpool. Just give him time."

"One more thing!" Uncle said as he came walking back out of his store. Going up to Yusei, Uncle handed him a sheet of paper while saying, "This is list of all twelve talismans, along with which talisman has what power. Uncle figured nice young men can make use of this."

Reading the list that Uncle handed him, Yusei said, "Hey Crow, according to the list that Uncle just gave me, only the dog talisman provides immortality." (9)

Looking to the ground where Jack's lifeless body laid, Crow shrugged and said, "Well fuck. I'm not going to be the one to explain this to Carly."

END, CHAPTER SIX

Author's Notes:

1\. …Okay, a _very generous_ amount.

2\. Given what they were doing with each other, it's rather understandable that Crow and Shendu both forgot to cover a rather important detail.

3\. Store-brand circular shortbread cookies that were drizzled with chocolate.

4\. It wasn't until I reached the scene where Uncle was showing what the dog talisman does that I noticed that I had been unintentionally writing Jade as a far more kind and polite character than how she actually was in the series proper. When I realized this, I decided to roll with it; I even went back to change a line or two to fit Jade's new character.

5\. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

6\. Crow is being so meta right now.

7\. Even without any idea on how most of the talismans work, Crow still somehow manages to screw Jack over.

8\. Hey, it's as good of a guess as any.

9\. …Did you honestly expect Crow to remember this?

Well there's chapter six. You know, I can't help but feel as if I forgot to include something very important in this chapter. Hmm… Well anyway, concerning the next chapter, the guys are going to be dealing with Johnny Test.

Crow would be having words with the Test sisters.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter seven: Yusei and friends do Porkbelly

It was a fine enough day in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. Over at the Atlas Penthouse, Yusei Fudo, a resident of the penthouse, was having his morning coffee over at the dining room table. With Yusei was Akiza Izinski, fellow penthouse resident and Yusei's girlfriend. (1) Setting his coffee mug to the side, Yusei opened up a copy of the daily newspaper. "Hey Akiza, listen to this," Yusei said.

Clearing this throat, Yusei read aloud from an article in the paper, "Crow F. Hogan, a resident of San Francisco's New Domino City suburb, has gone one whole week without being arrested. In celebration, the San Francisco Police Department is holding a celebratory police ball over at City Hall tonight at seven."

Hearing this, Akiza spit out the coffee she had in her mouth at the time out of shock. "Holy shit!" Akiza exclaimed, "Crow's gone one week without being arrested?"

"Birdbrain must have been too busy being insane during this past week," Jack Atlas, another one of the penthouse residents, remarked as he and his girlfriend Carly Carmine came walking into the kitchen, having just woken up.

"Ah, good morning, you two," Yusei greeted in a friendly tone before turning his attention back to his newspaper, "Did you guys sleep well?"

"I had the most wonderful dream last night, now that you mentioned it, Yusei," Jack remarked as he and Carly sat down at the dining table with their own mugs of coffee.

"Let me guess," Yusei said, "Crow died in your dream last night."

"Are you a mind-reader, Yusei?" Jack asked. (2)

"What can I say?" Yusei replied with something of a smirk. Returning his gaze to his newspaper, Yusei continued, "You and Crow get along like Oh what the fuck is this?!"

Confused by Yusei deviating midsentence, Akiza asked, "Yusei, dear, is something wrong?"

"Something is _majorly_ wrong, Akiza," Yusei replied as he gave his newspaper a light smack, "Apparently, there's this bill in local legislature that, if it passes, not only will same-sex marriages be illegal in San Francisco, but if there's any same-sex married couple living in San Francisco, their union won't be recognized as legally binding!" Throwing his newspaper to the area of the table in front of himself, Yusei said, "This is-"

"-Great," Akiza interrupted, drawing a confused look from Yusei.

"…Excuse me?" Yusei asked, not believing what his girlfriend had just said.

"What," Akiza replied in a tone that was one part defensive and nine parts confused, "Do you _not_ think that same-sex unions are sins?"

"Oh, my fucking God, Akiza," Yusei said, "I cannot believe that you just said that!"

"I agree, Yusei," Jack remarked, "What your girlfriend just said is completely-"

"-Right on the money if you ask me," Carly interrupted, drawing a shocked look out of Jack.

"Carly!" Jack exclaimed in a shocked tone of mild disgust, "I cannot believe that you, of all people, would ever say something that pisses me off! That's Birdbrain's job, not yours!"

"Well I'm sorry, sweetie," Carly replied, "But Akiza has a point about that bill in the local legislature being a good thing."

"I think that you mean to say that the upcoming bill is a _bad_ thing, Carly," Yusei said, "Don't you?"

"No, Yusei," Akiza remarked, "I'm pretty sure that Carly was speaking correctly the first time." As Yusei and Jack began to argue with their respective girlfriends, a tear in the fabric of space opened up in the dining room. Crow Hogan, Yusei and Jack's friend, walked out of the portal with Brianna Stone, who is Crow's girlfriend.

"'Sup, hoes?" Crow greeted as he slipped his pair of Dimensional Scissors into one of the front pockets of his pants, "What the fuck did we miss?"

"Akiza and Carly think that the upcoming bill that can ban same-sex unions is a good thing, Crow," Yusei explained.

"The fuck?!" Brianna exclaimed, her expression a generous mix of disgusted and pissed off.

"Totally," Crow said, "That's some messed up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit right there, man!"

"Oh, don't tell me you're on the boys' side on this, Brianna!" Akiza said, sounding annoyed.

"I am most certainly on their side on this one, girl," Brianna replied, her tone firm.

"Same here!" Crow declared, "My friend living in Michigan is currently in a same-sex relationship! Hell, I myself was in a same-sex relationship before I started dating Brianna! I'm sorry, ladies, but I got my buds' backs on this one!"

"Well I'll be damned," Jack remarked to Yusei, "Crow and I actually agree on something."

"Well I'll be damned," Carly remarked to Akiza, "Jack and I actually don't agree on something."

Akiza was about to speak, but was cut off when a loud crashing sound came from down the hallway where all of the bedrooms are located. The crashing sound was followed by Kalin Kessler, the friend of Yusei, Jack and Crow, screaming in alarm. And _that_ was followed by Leo and Luna the wonder twins coming out of their respective bedrooms to see what the hell was going on. Yusei, Jack, Crow and the girls all ran to Kalin's room to see what had happened.

When they got there, what everyone saw had shocked them into silence; there was a satellite of some kind having crashed through Kalin's bedroom wall. The satellite was roughly the size of a Volkswagen beetle. "Can my penthouse go for one bloody fucking week without suffering major damage of some kind?!" Jack exclaimed at the top of his lungs as he looked skyward.

"That thing almost crushed me to death, and you're more concerned about the condition of the penthouse?!" Kalin snapped.

"Wait a minute…" Crow said as his eyes winced in a manner that conveyed suspicion. Walking up to the satellite, Crow brushed his hand over a blot of dust that seemed to be covering something. After brushing the dust away, Crow revealed an insignia of some kind; it made use of a crescent moon and a five-pointed star, and underneath the insignia was a logo that said 'TEST SISTERS LABS'.

"Son of a bitch," Crow said just loud enough for everyone to hear him. Turning around, Crow said, "I never thought that I'd ever have to deal with those fucking quims ever again."

"You know who's responsible for this mess, Birdbrain?" Jack asked.

"The Test sisters," Crow said to everyone who was in the room in a mildly grim tone, "They are twin thirteen-year-old girls who live over in Porkbelly." Gesturing to the satellite that crashed through Kalin's bedroom wall, Crow continued, "Boys, those Test girls are responsible for this mess. I say we head over to Porkbelly, confront them with the evidence, and make them cover the cost for the damage!" (3)

"Hot damn," Jack remarked in a mildly surprised tone, "Yet another thing that I agree with Crow on! This might actually turn out to be my finest day yet!" After Kalin managed to salvage a clean set of his usual outfit, he and the other guys got into Yusei's Volkswagen van and proceeded to make their way to Porkbelly.

* * *

As Yusei and the other guys made their way to confront the girls that Crow was talking about, Yusei said, "I still can't believe it."

"I know," Kalin remarked, "There's a giant fucking hole in my bedroom wall, and we're currently towing the satellite that made said hole to the girls who made said satellite so we can get them to fix their mess."

"Well, that," Yusei continued, "But also the fact that Akiza and Carly are both on board with the upcoming bill in San Francisco's local legislature."

"I'm sorry, I must have missed that part," Kalin replied, "What bill?"

"It's a bill that basically designed to give same-sex couples in San Francisco a giant fucking middle finger," Crow explained, "Which is total fucking bullshit. Hell, Brianna is the only girl in our age group living at the penthouse who is on the same side as me, Yusei and Jack!"

"Yeah, I'm going to have to side with you guys on this one," Kalin remarked, "If two people truly love and care for each other, then I don't see what the big deal is."

"Hells yeah!" Crow exclaimed as he pumped both of his fists into the air, "Penthouse bros for the win!"

"Although Akiza and Carly disagree with you, Yusei and Jack," Kalin continued, "The two of you have to admit that you're pretty lucky to be with someone."

"What are you saying, Kalin?" Jack asked.

"You're dating Carly," Kalin began to explain, "Yusei is dating Akiza, and Crow is dating Brianna."

"Who is a totally hot and sick-ass babe," Crow commented.

"Yes, yes, whatever you say, Crow," Kalin replied, "But that's beside the point." Taking a deep breath, Kalin said, "All three of you guys have someone. What about me, though? When will my love life kick off?"

"…Oh, that's right," Yusei said in a tone of mildly somber realization, "You're the only one of us four who isn't in a relationship with someone yet."

"I know I must sound like a wet blanket right now," Kalin replied, "And I'm sorry about that. It's just that I can't help but want someone in my life, you know?"

"Kalin, dude, there's no need to apologize," Crow said as he laid a hand on Kalin's right shoulder in a sympathetic manner.

"Crow's right, Kalin," Yusei added in an understanding tone, "You're one hell of a guy. You got looks, a strong sense of morality, you're arguably the most sophisticated person living in the penthouse, and you aren't afraid to express how you really feel, like back when you gushed over how cute those puppies that can shoot lasers out of their eyes were. Trust me when I say that anyone would be lucky to snag you as their boyfriend."

Smiling, Kalin replied, "Thanks, Yusei."

"No problem," Yusei said. Taking a quick look at the dashboard navigation screen that he installed at some point, Yusei said, "Anywho guys, get ready. We're almost at Porkbelly."

* * *

A few minutes later, Yusei's Volkswagen van pulled up in front of a two-story house; the house was painted white and it had bluish-colored roofing. "We're here, bros," Crow said as he got out of the Volkswagen van. Walking over to the utility trailer that was attached to the tail end of the van, Crow stood in front of the side that faced the two-story residence.

"HEY TEST SISTERS!" Crow shouted angrily at the top of his lungs at the two-story family home, "GET YOUR SKINNY RED-HEADED ASSES OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! THE TWO OF YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

A few seconds later, an eleven-year-old boy and a dog of came walking up to the guys from the Test residence's backyard. The eleven-year-old boy had yellow-blonde hair with faint red streaks in it that went upwards, giving the hair a flame-like appearance. The boy wore a black shirt with a yellow hazard symbol on it under a blue short-sleeved casual dress shirt that was open in the front, green cargo pants, and black shoes. The boy also wore a watch on one of his wrists. The dog was of an indeterminate breed, most likely a mutt, and was mostly brown in color.

Looking at Crow and the other guys, the boy asked in a knowing tone, "What did my sisters do to you this time, Crow?"

"Your sisters' fucking satellite crashed through the wall of one of the rooms of the penthouse that I live at, nearly killing my friend and roommate Kalin in the process," Crow explained, "I hope like hell your sisters pull in one epic allowance, because they are going to cover the entirety of the cost of repairing the broken wall that their satellite fucking crashed through! And that's just for starters!"

"Which satellite?" the boy asked in the same tone he used before, "Was it the one that's shaped like Gil's head, or the one that's the size of a Volkswagen beetle? Or is it a third satellite that I'm not aware of?"

"It's the one that's the size of a Volkswagen beetle, little dude," Crow replied.

"Hey Crow, you know this kid?" Yusei asked as he faced Crow while pointing to the eleven-year-old boy.

Gesturing to the boy himself, Crow replied, "This is the Test sisters' little brother Johnny. The dog is his pet named Dukey. Due to some sort of crazy science bullshit the Test sisters did to Dukey, he can both walk like a human and speak perfect English."

"Talking dogs aren't exactly new to us, Birdbrain," Jack said, "Or does Konohagakure not ring any bells for you?"

"Well so long as you guys won't freak out or anything," Dukey said as he stood up on his hind feet.

"Where are your parents?" Crow asked Johnny, "My roommates and I need to talk to them concerning the mess your sisters got themselves into."

"Mom's at work, and dad's taking care of some shopping," Johnny explained, "As for Susan and Mary, they're in their lab."

"Do you think that your older sisters would be willing to hear us out, young man?" Yusei asked.

Leaning to his side somewhat, Johnny spotted the satellite on the utility trailer. "Well, seeing as how you guys have their satellite, I'm pretty sure that they'd at least be willing to give you guys enough time to explain why you're angry," Johnny replied.

"If talking to the girls fails, I'm certain that at least one of Johnny's parents will be home within the next hour or so," Dukey added, "They'll get the girls to own up, mark my words."

"You guys want I should invite you inside?" Johnny asked as he pointed to his family's house.

"At least we'll be able to put the problem on the table," Yusei remarked to his friends as the four of them followed Johnny and Dukey into the Test residence.

* * *

About a minute or two later, Yusei and the guys found themselves in a laboratory located in the Test residence, having been brought there by Johnny and Dukey. There, Yusei, Jack and Kalin met two teenage girls with long red hair. The two girls looked identical to each other, side from various aesthetic choices; one of the girls had her hair straight and wore knee socks, a skirt, square-framed glasses and used a five-pointed star symbol in her outfit, while the other girl had her hair curled and wore jeans, curved-framed glasses and used a crescent moon symbol in her outfit. Although this was the first time Yusei, Jack and Kalin had ever met these two girls, Crow had encountered them before.

"Susan," Crow said in as polite a tone as he could manage at the moment (4) to the girl with straight hair. To the girl with curled hair, Crow said in the same tone, "Mary."

"Crow," Mary replied in a neutral tone, "What brings you and your friends over here to Porkbelly?"

"A satellite with your girls' lab logo crashed through the wall of one of the rooms of the penthouse I live at," Crow explained as he himself tried to maintain a neutral tone, "My friends and I brought it with us on the utility trailer attached to the van outside your house."

"Which satellite was it?" Susan began, "Is it the one shaped like Gil's-"

"It's the one that's the size of a Volkswagen beetle," Crow interrupted, "Look girls, that satellite not only caused massive damage to my place of residence, but it almost crushed my roommate Kalin like how my girlfriend's mom's ass crushed the last few armchairs she sat in. I hope you girls are as smart as the two of you oh so very often claim, because you two had better figure out how to not only clean up your mess, but how to cover the clean-up cost as well."

"Oh, yeah," Mary replied in a mildly embarrassed tone, "Susan and I forgot to make sure our anti Eugene satellite was properly maintained."

"Anti Eugene?" Yusei repeated in a confused tone, "Who the fuck is Eugene?"

Sighing in an exasperated tone, Susan explained, "He's this really annoying boy who constantly tries to flirt with me."

"Susan and I made the satellite that crashed into your home for the sole purpose of monitoring Eugene's movements and whereabouts so that if he ever tries to get close to either of us, we can avoid him," Mary continued, "However, seeing as how both Susan and I have been occupied with…other experiments…we haven't been able to keep up the regularly scheduled maintenance for our various satellites."

"Eugene?" Crow said in a confused tone, "…Oh, you mean Triple-B."

"Triple-B?" Kalin repeated in a tone showing that he required explanation.

"Eugene likes to be referred to as Bling-Bling Boy," Dukey explained, "He fancies himself as something of a genius supervillain. Granted, he's not the most effective person in the world at the job, but seeing as how he's got roughly the same level of smarts as Johnny's sisters even though he's about a year or so younger than them, Eugene's not the least effective person in the world at the job, either."

"Yeah, Triple-B and I go way back," Crow explained, "I'm his go-to man whenever he needs to hire a mercenary." (5)

"Then how come neither Mary or I ever had to basically throw Johnny and Dukey at you to stop whatever plan of the week Eugene comes up with?" Susan asked.

Scoffing in a mildly annoyed tone, Crow replied, "Because not _all_ of Triple-B's plans involve trying to win your affections, Susan! Hell, I'm surprised you never even considered the possible benefits of hooking up with my home slice Triple-B!"

"…You have _got_ to be kidding me," Susan said in a deadpan.

"You think I'm joking?" Crow began, "Triple-B has a laboratory that's just as advanced as the one that you and your sister have here, if not more advanced. He owns a _private island_ that is the perfect tropical getaway. The dude is _loaded_. Granted, Triple-B is as fat as my girlfriend's little brother, but big guys have a certain air of attractiveness that tends to draws girls to them. And before you say anything, no, I am not talking about gravitational pull. At this point, I'm honestly surprised that you haven't tried throwing yourself at Triple-B yet. Hell, if I was a girl your age, _I_ ' _d_ be throwing myself at Triple-B!"

"That's what I've been saying this whole time!" Johnny proclaimed as he threw his hands into the air, "Plus, if Susan did hook up with Eugene, then he'd no longer be a recurring villain that my sisters would throw me and Dukey at to stop."

"Not to mention the fact that Eugene comes with financial security, which is something that not only Gil doesn't have, but is far better than anything Gil can ever offer," Dukey added.

"I think we're getting a little sidetracked here, everyone," Yusei interrupted, "The girls' satellite crashed through Kalin's bedroom wall, and we need to work out a plan on how the girls can clean up their mess."

"Yes, yes, we should discuss that," Susan said, her tone showing a certain eagerness to get onto that subject and leave the previous subject behind.

* * *

As Crow and Jack discussed the business of covering the repairs to the penthouse with Susan and Mary, Yusei and Kalin enjoyed some snacks down in the Test residence kitchen with Johnny and Dukey. Both Kalin and Dukey were drinking to-go cups of coffee from a local name-brand coffee shop of indeterminate popularity. "I can't believe it took me this long to find someone who likes hazelnut coffee as much as me," Dukey remarked to Kalin.

"It's a pretty good flavor of coffee, if you ask me," Kalin replied, "Have you ever tried adding hazelnut-flavored coffee creamer to your coffee?"

"Johnny's dad is too cheap to get proper creamer," Dukey explained in a mildly annoyed tone, "I usually have to take my coffee straight unless I get a to-go cup from the local shop."

"Dukey, you should try the coffee from this family-owned store that's located in New Domino City," Kalin explained, "It is nothing short of fantastic."

"Isn't New Domino City a suburb located in San Francisco?" Johnny asked, one of his eyebrows arched in mild confusion.

"Yeah, my friends and I came here all the way from San Fran," Yusei replied after chewing and swallowing a small cookie.

"Well that-" Johnny began, but he was cut off when an explosion sounded from above. "…My sisters must be doing something," Johnny remarked in a deadpan, his expression matching his tone.

"Or Crow is doing something," Yusei replied as he, Kalin, Johnny and Dukey got up to go investigate, "At this point, Crow and explosions have become synonymous with each other." (6)

* * *

When Yusei, Kalin, Johnny and Dukey entered the Test sisters' lab, they saw that a fair portion of the roof was missing. Hovering just outside of the hole in the ceiling was a flying saucer, approximately the same size as the average family car, that had a transparent dome on top, so you can see who was piloting the flying saucer. Oddly enough, the flying saucer was shaped like a cat's head, and the pilot was, even more oddly enough, a purple cat.

"Ah ha!" the purple cat laughed as he pointed to where Yusei and the others stood, "Now that I have captured the Test sisters, my plans shall come to fruition! Soon all of Porkbelly will be mine!" Upon a closer look, Yusei and company saw that Susan and Mary, both tied up and gagged, were sitting behind the purple cat.

"Mr. Mittens!" (7) Johnny swore as he pointed up at the flying saucer, "Give my sisters back right now, you bad kitty!"

"You son of a bitch!" Crow exclaimed as he aimed his Sig Sauer 9MM at the flying saucer, "Those girls have to cover repair costs for the place I live at!" Crow then fired a few shots at the flying saucer, but it had no effect. In response to Crow's failure, Mr. Mittens laughed like the villain he is.

"Did you really think a basic handgun would be able to harm my flying ship?" Mr. Mittens said in a mild taunting tone, "Oh, and by the way, I'm not a son of a bitch. Dukey is, though." (8)

"So, handguns aren't good enough for you, eh?" Crow replied in a 'so that's how you want to play it' kind of tone. Holstering his Sig Sauer 9MM, Crow pulled out his RPG-7 and mounted it on his right shoulder.

"Woah," Mr. Mittens remarked in a tone of subdued shock, "I didn't see that coming."

"Alrighty then, you bad kitty," Crow continued as he aimed at Mr. Mitten's flying saucer, "Let's bust out the big-"

"Crow, if you fire that thing at Mr. Mitten's ship, you'll kill my sisters!" Johnny exclaimed.

"…Which means that they won't have to own up to the mess they made," Crow continued as he lowered his RPG-7, "Thanks for catching my mistake, Johnny."

"What the hell do you want with Johnny's older sisters?" Yusei shouted up at Mr. Mittens as he pointed accusingly at him.

"Their genius intellect is just what I need for my plans to take over Porkbelly," Mr. Mittens said, "I doubt that miniscule minds such as yours would be able to comprehend the complexity of such an awesome plan." The purple cat followed this up by laughing evilly.

"Man, what is with villains who only want to take over a single city without any plans for further conquest?" Crow asked rhetorically, "I mean, if I was a villain-"

"Which you are," Jack interrupted.

"-Which I'm _not_ ," Crow continued, emphasizing when he said 'not', "But if I was, I'd at least go for taking over the world. …Or destroying it. …Yeah, I'd probably destroy it."

"Can we talk about something more pressing than the evil versus oblivion debate right now?" Yusei exclaimed at Jack and Crow while gesturing to Mr. Mittens' flying ship, "Like, oh, I don't know, THE KIDNAPPING THAT'S CURRENTLY IN PROGRESS?!"

"Too late, Johnny Test and friends!" Mr. Mittens exclaimed as his ship flew up a few feet, then flew away towards the city.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Dukey exclaimed, "I thought today was going to be a simple day discussing matters concerning what Johnny's sisters owe to the people whose house their satellite damaged, but NOOOOO! We have to go and stop whatever insane scheme that cat has cooked up!"

"Hey Johnny," Yusei began, "I don't suppose your sisters have some means in their lab that would allow us to go after them and their kidnapper?"

"Of course, they do," Johnny replied, "Follow me." Yusei and the guys followed Johnny and Dukey through the lab for about a minute until they came upon a flying ship similar to the one Mr. Mittens had used, albeit non-cat themed and (conveniently) big enough to seat six.

"Dukey and I are the ones here with the most experience with piloting the ships my sisters build, so we'll drive," Johnny said as he and Dukey climbed into the pilot's seat and co-pilot's seat respectively.

"Works for me," Yusei replied as he and the others climbed into the other seats in the flying ship. After turning the flying ship on, Johnny took up and took off in the direction that he and the others saw Mr. Mittens flee in.

* * *

After a few minutes of flying, Yusei and company all landed at the entrance of Mr. Mitten's abode/lair. "So, we go in guns a blazing," Crow began as he climbed out of the Test sisters' flying ship, "Kill the cat, save the day, then drag the Test sisters' sorry asses back to their place so we can continue discussions about what they owe us?"

"Going in guns a blazing is not necessary," Kalin replied, "All we need to do is defeat the talking cat, stop whatever plan he has cooked up, rescue the girls, then get the hell out of dodge."

"I always thought that going in guns a blazing was a good strategy," Johnny remarked.

"And I say that such a strategy is dangerous and crazy!" Kalin and Dukey said in unison, although they didn't realize it until after they were done talking. When they did realize it, they both turned to face each other, shooting each other a thumbs-up (or, from Dukey, whatever the canine equivalent would be).

"Kalin and your dog have a point, Johnny," Yusei said as he turned to face the Test boy, "We need to think of a stealth-based strategy that would allow us to take out the cat, extract your sisters, defeat whatever plan that the cat has in store, and get the-"

"Birdbrain just went inside while shouting his name as a battle cry, Yusei," Jack interrupted, "And he's-" Jack was cut off when the sound of a round fired from an RPG-7 went off inside of Mr. Mittens' lair. "…That," Jack finished, his tone and expression both flat.

"Fuck!" Yusei swore angrily as he and the others all ran inside after Crow, "This is the same fucking mistake Crow made that got us killed last week while we were playing Heroes of the Storm!" (9)

Once inside, Yusei and the others ran through a series of hallways, following a trail of destruction that Jack said he was eighty-seven percent sure was Crow's doing. About a minute into their impromptu raid, they ran into a male elderly butler. "The short fellow with orange-red hair that resembles a broom went that way, sirs," the butler said as he pointed the way. Before the group could continue, the butler said, "Oh, and one more thing?"

The guys stopped short and turned to face the butler again. "When you see the cat," the butler continued, "Aim for his forehead."

"Right," Yusei replied as he shot the butler a quick salute before he and the rest of the group continued down the way that was pointed out to them. After another minute of running, the group eventually reached a control room-style command center. In the upper right corner of the room were Susan and Mary, both still bound but no longer gagged, in a giant birdcage.

In approximately the center of the room, Crow was running around, Mr. Mittens covering his face and randomly waving his paws around, trying to scratch at Crow. Smoke was coming out of some of the control consoles and computers; one of the control consoles even blew up when Yusei and the others arrived.

"Get this fucking cat off of me!" Crow exclaimed as he ran around like a chicken whose head was just cut off.

"Goddamn it, Birdbrain," Jack swore as he ran up, yanked Mr. Mittens off of Crow's face, and threw the cat in a random direction. "There you go, Birdbrain!" Jack exclaimed as Mr. Mittens flew through the air, "The fucking cat is no longer trying to-" Jack was cut off when Mr. Mittens finally landed with a slam on one of the control consoles. When the purple cat slammed down like that, a giant monitor screen displayed the message 'MEGA-DYNAMYTE BOMB FIRED AT PORKBELLY' before cutting to a video feed of a large missile flying towards Porkbelly. The missile was over about approximately the center of Porkbelly when it exploded, destroying everything within the entirety of the radius of the city.

"Well good going, you idiot!" Mr. Mittens snapped in an annoyed tone at Jack, "Because you threw me against the launch button on this control console, the mega-dynamite bomb I made was fired at Porkbelly! I can't take over a city that's been destroyed!"

Running over to the monitor that showed the video feed, Yusei did a quick check of the data read out. "Oh, my fucking God…" Yusei said in a shocked tone, "Everyone in Porkbelly is dead!"

"Even Gil?!" Mary asked in a tone of great worry, drawing a nod of grim confirmation from Yusei.

"This…this can't be…" Susan said, "Gil can't be dead! He just can't be!"

"WHAT ABOUT OUR PARENTS?!" Johnny exclaimed at his sisters with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, umm, yeah," Susan and Mary both said in unison in not-so-upset tones, "Our parents are dead, too."

"Oh, don't you even try and pull that one, missies!" Kalin and Dukey snapped at the twins in scolding tones. Once again, when they realized that they spoke the same thing in unison, Kalin and Dukey turned to face each other to shoot each other thumbs-up.

"The hell were you doing with a bomb that can level an entire city, killing its entire population in the process?!" Yusei snapped at Mr. Mittens.

"I was actually planning on dropping that bomb on Bling-Bling Boy's island," Mr. Mittens explained, "You see, after I lost twelve-thousand dollars to Bling-Bling Boy last week during the weekly villains' blackjack get-together, I was so angry that-"

"Oh, I know you did not just say you were planning on killing my home slice Triple-B!" Crow exclaimed at Mr. Mittens. Pulling out his Sig Sauer 9MM, Crow aimed it at Mr. Mittens and said, "There's a nice place for you in Satan's ass crack in Hell!" Crow then fired at Mr. Mittens, but he missed. Instead, Crow's shot ended up hitting a giant computer monitor that, upon being damaged by Crow's bullet, went haywire. "Fuck! I missed him!" Crow snapped.

As Crow took a few more shots at Mr. Mittens, Johnny ran over to the cage that his older sisters were trapped in. Pulling out a device that resembled a giant smartphone attached to a handle, Johnny aimed the device at the lock on the cage. A laser-beam began to continuously fire from the device, gradually melting the lock. "Hey, I don't recall Mary or I ever making that," Susan remarked when the lock on the cage was about fifty percent melted.

"Eugene gave it to me as thanks for being one of the only two people who came to his birthday party last week," Johnny explained, "Dukey was the other person and got a porterhouse steak for showing up."

As the laser from Johnny's device continued to melt the lock on the cage, Susan said in a tone of subdued surprise, "If we get out of this alive, I'm totally going to take Crow's suggestion and throw myself at Eugene."

"About damn time you saw reason!" Crow exclaimed at Susan while still facing and shooting at Mr. Mittens, who was now running across control consoles to avoid getting shot by Crow. As the purple cat did this, Crow ended up shooting the same monitor that he damaged about a minute previous. When this happened, smaller monitors around it displayed 'ERROR' while warning blares sounded from throughout the room. When this happened, Johnny had just managed to get his sisters out of the cage and untied.

"Hey Crow!" Johnny began as he and his sisters began to run towards the rest of the group, "What did you-" Johnny was cut off when a wall of monitor screens fell over onto the Test siblings. Aside from some electrical noises, Yusei, the guys, Dukey and Mr. Mittens also heard a sickening crunch. That was followed by blood pooling out from underneath the collapsed wall of monitor screens.

"Fuck!" Crow snapped angrily, "I can't believe this happened!"

"I know!" Dukey exclaimed as tears started welling up in the corners of his eyes, "I can't believe that-"

"That the Test sisters got out of paying my roommates and I what they owed us for wrecking one of the walls in our penthouse!" Crow interrupted.

"Dukey just lost the entirety of his family, and you're more concerned about not being able to collect upon a debt that someone owed us?!" Kalin yelled angrily at Crow.

"I just lost the entirety of my family, and you're more concerned about not being able to collect upon a debt that someone owed you?!" Dukey yelled angrily at Crow in unison with what Kalin was shouting at Crow. Realizing that they had, once again, spoken in unison, Kalin and Dukey turned to face each other. This time, however, Kalin and Dukey merely nodded to each other in acknowledgement.

"See you humans later!" Mr. Mittens proclaimed as he jumped out an open window to escape. When he did this, Yusei and the others all ran over and looked out of the window; as such, they saw Mr. Mittens fall towards the ocean. Aiming his body so that he would dive into the water, Mr. Mittens proclaimed, "You shall remember this as the day that you almost caught-"

Mr. Mittens was cut off when a shark leapt out of the water, ate Mr. Mittens in one bite, then dove back into the water. Getting out of the window, Yusei and the guys all looked at each other with confused looks. "Well that was anticlimactic," Yusei remarked in a casual tone that sounded of mild disappointment.

As the blaring warning sounds grew even louder, Crow said, "Shit, I think this place is about to blow! The fuck do we do?!"

"Here's an idea," Dukey replied, "RUN!" A few minutes after Dukey's exclamation to run, Yusei and the others could be seen running out of Mr. Mitten's lair. A few seconds after they all got out, the entire place blew up. A large chunk of debris fell on the flying ship that Yusei and the others took to get to the lair, crushing it.

"Well fuck," Yusei remarked, "Looks like we're walking."

"All the way back to fucking Porkbelly?" Jack asked, "Yusei, you saw from that video feed that Porkbelly is now a smoldering crater with a population of zero!"

"No, Jack," Yusei explained, "We're going to head to the nearest place with a phone, call for a ride, head to the remains of the Test residence to see if my Volkswagen van is in a good enough condition to be salvaged, then we work from there."

"The remains of my home, you mean," Dukey said in a somber tone. Sighing, the talking dog continued, "Where will I go now? I'm a genetically enhanced dog with the ability to walk and talk like a human. I don't think I'll fit in anywhere other than the home that I had lost."

"…You wanna move in with us?" Kalin offered, drawing a mildly surprised look from Dukey.

"Excuse me, Kalin?!" Jack began, "You want to invite a talking dog to move in and live with us?!"

"What other option does Dukey have, Jack?" Kalin shot back, "Besides, he's loads more intelligent and well-behaved than Crow!" Jack raised his right index finger in a gesture that showed that he was about to argue what Kalin was saying. However, Jack stopped short of saying anything, considered what Kalin had said, and decided to drop the argument.

"I think I should feel offended here," Crow began, "I mean, sure, I often get us into-" Crow was cut off when something large and alive landed behind the group. Turning around, Yusei and the others came face-to-face with a four-legged dinosaur-like creature that had metal attachments all over its body. The plate over its chest bore a large blue gem-like stone. The large creature roared angrily at Yusei and the others.

"Oh fuck, it's the neighbor girl's Dialga!" Yusei exclaimed as he and the rest of the group backed away quickly out of alarm and fear.

"The neighbor girl owns a deity as well?!" Kalin snapped angrily, "Why the fuck does no one ever listen to me about the pertinence of covering things like that as soon as we're made aware of them?!"

Throwing its head back, Dialga charged up a Roar of Time attack. When it was done, Dialga fired its signature move at Crow, hitting him dead-on and throwing him back with such force that Crow did not stop flying backwards until he collided into a solid obstacle. After it had attacked Crow, Dialga roared again at the others in a tone of warning before it flew up into the air and took off for home.

When Dialga was gone, Yusei, Jack, Kalin and Dukey all ran to where Crow landed. When they found him, Crow was laying on the ground at the base of the tree he had slammed against. Yusei bent down to check for a pulse. "Yep," Yusei replied as he got back up, "Crow's dead."

"My dream has come true!" Jack proclaimed skyward, holding his hands up as if in prayer. (10)

* * *

Later back at the Atlas Penthouse, Kalin and Dukey were sitting at the dining room table, enjoying to-go cups of coffee from the local family owned coffee shop. "Mmm, you were right, Kalin," Dukey remarked, "The coffee from that shop _is_ fantastic!"

"I know, right?" Kalin replied as he sat his cup down.

"So, about what you said about Yusei and Jack's respective girlfriends showing support for an anti-same sex couple bill, only to drop any support that they had for it," Dukey began, "How did those girls change their minds?"

"Oh, Yusei found out that while we were in Porkbelly, Akiza and Carly were caught in a car crash, and that some same-sex couple pulled them out of the wreckage and got them immediate medical attention, saving their lives in the process," Kalin explained.

"Well that's anticlimactic," Dukey remarked.

"Well we _are_ approaching seven-thousand words at this point, so we are kind of dragging here," Kalin pointed out.

"I guess," Dukey replied before taking another sip of his coffee. Setting his coffee down, Dukey said, "Hey Kalin…thanks. For everything. For taking me in, giving me a new home. Thanks."

"Hey, I may still be lacking a girlfriend," Kalin remarked, "But a talking dog best friend is still pretty dope."

"I'll drink to that!" Dukey replied as he and Kalin both raised their respective to-go cup in a toast.

END, CHAPTER SEVEN

Author's Notes:

1\. By popular demand from the 5Ds fandom.

2\. Now all Yusei needs to do is lose the use of his legs and go bald.

3\. This is Crow's most logical (and reasonable) plan to date.

4\. Trying to be civil towards the Test sisters was nothing short of a Herculean feat for Crow.

5\. It helps that Bling-Bling Boy is…financially secure.

6\. …Well that goes without saying.

7\. I picked Mr. Mittens to be the villain of this chapter mostly because he was the only villain I could think of who'd make for a decent antagonist for the chapter.

8\. This is technically correct.

9\. Yusei plays Genji, Jack plays Tassadar, Crow plays Diablo, and Kalin plays Sylvanas.

10\. From then on, Jack began to worship Dialga, deity of time and slayer of Birdbrains.

This chapter dragged on for much longer than I was hoping; I had to cut a few things and reduce the resolution of the plot concerning Akiza and Carly to a brief explanation from Kalin, and this is still the longest chapter yet. Hopefully I'll have more control on the next chapter. Also, for those who may be wondering, I have a friend in real life who absolutely loathes Johnny Test, so I figured that he'd get a kick out of what happened here.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter eight: Yusei and friends do Xiaolin Temple

Yusei Fudo and his various roommates/friends were having a party in the backyard of their home, the Atlas Penthouse, one day in New Domino City, a suburb located in San Francisco, California. In addition to Yusei, there were also his friends Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, along with Leo and Luna the wonder twins, Yusei's girlfriend Akiza Izinski, Jack's girlfriend Carly Carmine, Crow's girlfriend Brianna Stone, and Kalin's talking dog best friend Dukey, who moved in after some messy business over in Porkbelly.

The residents of the Atlas Penthouse had set up a picnic table in the backyard; this table was loaded with various party foods, not to mention a good number of cans of soda. As the party was going underway, Kalin could be seen talking to Dukey somewhere off to the side. "You think _that_ ' _s_ bad?" Kalin said, "Why, Crow followed that up by chopping Slade's head off with his Gimli battle-axe."

"Why would he cut the guy's head off?" Dukey asked in a shocked tone after taking a sip of his drink, "The man was already dead."

"Crow is under the impression that a dead body will rise as a zombie or some other form of undead unless the head's removed or otherwise in irreparable condition," Kalin explained.

"If it wasn't for the fact that my previous family and I dealt with some founding fathers that were temporarily raised as undead this one time, then I'd find Crow's reasoning to be nothing short of ridiculous," Dukey replied before taking another sip of his drink. (1)

"Dukey, my good man, let me clue you in on a little something," Kalin said, "Pretty much everything Crow does is nothing short of ridiculous."

Over near the picnic table where all of the party food was set up, Yusei and Jack were talking to Akiza and Carly. "I guess Carly and I were acting rather unreasonable, huh?" Akiza said in an apologetic tone, "I mean, all my life I was told by my mother told me that same-sex relationships are a big no-no according to the Torah. (2) I guess I was so caught up in agreeing with everything my mother told me because I craved her approval that I never took the time to learn things for myself and form my own opinions."

"What about you, Carly?" Jack asked.

"I had the same reason as Akiza, but with a different religion instead," Carly replied.

"Well, all in all, I'm glad that you girls have changed your minds," Yusei remarked, "I mean, Kalin raised an excellent point about if two people-" Yusei stopped midsentence when he leaned to his left somewhat to see something behind Akiza taking place on the picnic table. Specifically, a small stack of soft cookies that were surrounded by a psychic aura were floating up off of the table. "Hey! Those cookies are floating!" Yusei exclaimed, getting Jack and the girls to turn around quickly to see the floating cookies.

The cookies lost the psychic aura that were making them float, and sub sequentially fell back onto the table. With something of a smile that was a generous mix of understanding and amused, Akiza said, "Don't worry, Yusei. The little sweetheart living next door is just hungry is all."

Taking some of the cookies from the table, Akiza walked over to the fence on the far-left side of the penthouse's backyard (if you're standing in front of the penthouse from outside). "Hey Akiza, why are you walking in the direction of the new neighbor's backyard?" Jack asked in a confused tone, "That's the home of those twin fourteen-year-olds who keep Pokémon as pets."

"Relax, Jack," Akiza replied as she dismissed Jack's concerns, "I know what I'm doing." Reaching the spot along the fence she was walking towards, Akiza peeked over the fence. She must have found what she was expecting, because Akiza said in a kind, almost motherly tone, "Hello there, sweetie. You just wanted some sweets, didn't you?"

When one of the Pokémon belonging to one of the neighbor kids cried out a reply to Akiza, Carly heard and recognized the Pokémon in question. "Oh, it's the neighbor boy's Lucario," Carly remarked. Turning to face Yusei and Jack, Carly said, "Akiza's right, boys. That Lucario that the neighbor boy owns is an absolute sweetheart. She's the kindest and most affectionate of all of the Pokémon that the girls and I had to watch a while back."

Curious, Yusei led Jack and Carly over to where Akiza was peeking over the fence. This prompted everyone else in the party to walk over and peek as well. As such, everyone saw the neighbor boy's Lucario munching on the cookies that Akiza gave her. "Now that is just precious," Kalin remarked as he gushed over the adorableness of watching a Pokémon eating some sweet treats.

* * *

After the party was over, Yusei and everyone else were back inside the penthouse, with Yusei and the guys putting leftover food away. "Well the party was certainly a hoot, wasn't it, guys?" Yusei asked as he sealed a gallon-sized plastic bag of nacho cheese-flavored chips.

"Well I'm just glad that Birdbrain didn't-" Jack began, but he was cut off.

"How dare you think such a thing about that absolute sweetheart of a Pokémon, Jack!" Crow snapped from over where he stood next to the refrigerator.

"What the bloody hell do you mean 'think', Birdbrain?" Jack said as he turned to face Crow, "What, now you can suddenly read-" Jack stopped short, once again, when he and the other guys noticed that Crow was holding one of the ends of a conch shell to his right ear.

"Umm, Kalin," Dukey whispered, "What's Crow doing?"

"I have long since given up on trying to understand anything that Crow does around here," Kalin whispered back.

"Crow, what the hell is that?" Yusei asked, pointing to the conch shell that Crow was holding up to his right ear.

"Oh, this thing?" Crow replied as he held the conch shell before his roommates, "Yeah, this here is known as the Mind Reader Conch. It's a magical item that allows one to read the minds of those that are within its range or power." Lowering the Mind Reader Conch to his side, Crow replied, "I figured something like this might come in handy, so I grabbed it. Pretty neat, huh?"

"Where in the bloody fuck did you get a magic conch shell that lets you read minds?" Jack asked, giving his roommate an incredulous look.

"I picked it up during one of my previous trips to China," Crow replied, "Why do you ask?"

Yusei, Jack, Kalin and Dukey all face-palmed simultaneously, with Yusei saying, "This will all end in tears. I just know it."

"Oh, chill your tits, Yusei," Crow began, "Name one time when I did something to screw up."

"Only one, Birdbrain?" Jack replied in an accusing tone, "Are you sure you only want one?! Because I can write a novel about all of your bloody screw-ups that will be so long, that it will surpass the fifth Harry Potter book in terms of page count!" (3)

"Such a novel can't be any longer than the _first_ Harry Potter book, Jack," Crow replied before holding the Mind Reader Conch back up to his right ear, "Just because I get myself arrested on at least a bi-weekly basis does not mean that-" Crow stopped midsentence as his eyes widened out of shock. Turning to face Yusei, Crow said, "Umm, Yusei, dude? You and Akiza need to have a serious talk."

"What do you mean, Crow?" Yusei asked, arching an eyebrow in mild confusion.

…

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GOT YOU PREGNANT?!" Yusei nearly exclaimed at Akiza.

"It's just as I said, Yusei," Akiza explained as she began to panic like someone who had a very embarrassing secret that was just announced, "How did you even find out?!"

"Crow has a magic conch shell that lets him read minds," Yusei explained as he simmered down, "Look, why were you even keeping this from me? This was something that I was going to find out eventually, Akiza, although it's something that should have been brought to my attention right away."

"I was afraid that, if you found out I was pregnant with your child, that you'd pack a suitcase of your belongings and walk out the door, never to be seen again," Akiza replied.

Sighing in mild exasperation, Yusei took a deep breath before continuing. "…The only reason why I'm upset at all is because, like I said, I should have been made aware of this right away," Yusei said, "Becoming a father is not something that I object to at all, if I'm to be completely honest here. All I ask for is a little heads up when it's going to happen."

"So, you aren't going to leave me to raise our child alone?" Akiza asked, sounding as hopeful as she dared.

Facing Akiza, Yusei shot her a small but sincere smile. "Quite the opposite," Yusei explained, "I fully intend to have an active role in raising our kid."

"Oh, Yusei," Akiza began as she started to tear up, "You have no idea how much-" Akiza was cut off when a loud crashing sound came from somewhere in the penthouse.

"…You can tell me the rest of that later, Akiza," Yusei replied as he led her out to where the crashing noise came from. When Yusei and Akiza arrived on the scene, they saw the rest of the penthouse residents looking up into the sky through a giant hole that was just made in the penthouse living room ceiling.

Looking through that giant hole, Yusei and Akiza saw a teenage boy flying with a jetpack of some kind. The boy had spiky red hair (actual red, not orange-red), pale skin that seemed gray in color, and wore a black long coat that had a popped-up collar, along with pants of a matching color, and boots with brass-like details on them. The boy also wore a pair of yellow-lensed work goggles that had red swirls on them.

Holding up his right hand, which held the Mind Reader Conch, the teenage boy laughed evilly before saying, "This Shen Gong Wu now belongs to me!"

"Who the hell are you?!" Yusei snapped at the flying teenaged boy, "I was just discussing something with my girlfriend, who I just found out is pregnant!"

Jerking a thumb at his chest, the teenaged boy said, "I'm Jack Spicer, evil boy genius."

"Oh yeah?!" Jack Atlas exclaimed angrily while pointing at the teenaged boy, "I'm Jack Atlas, pissed-off penthouse owner!" (4) Taking a step forward, Jack Atlas snapped, "Do you know how many times my penthouse has suffered extensive damage like this in the past month?!"

"What do I care?" Jack Spicer replied with an indifferent shrug, "I'm going to be taking over the world."

"Finally!" Crow exclaimed as he gestured to Jack Spicer, "A villain with ambition beyond taking over a single city! Also, can I have the Mind Reader Conch back?"

"No way, dude," Jack Spicer replied, "I need all of the Shen Gong Wu if I'm going to be taking over the world."

"Shen Gong Wu?" Dukey repeated in a confused tone, "What does that even mean?"

"It's the term for the various magical items that lets you do all sorts of things," Jack Spicer explained. Holding up the Mind Reader Conch, Jack Spicer continued, "This, the Mind Reader Conch, is one of the Shen Gong Wu."

"Well will you at least cover repair costs for fixing up the penthouse?" Kalin asked. After starring at Kalin and the others for a few seconds, Jack Spicer turned around and flew away.

"Fuck!" Jack exclaimed skyward, "Why in the bloody hell does this keep happening to us?!"

"Maybe the place where I picked the Mind Reader Conch up from can help us," Crow said as he held a hand to his chin, giving him the look of being deep in thought.

"The place where you picked it up from?" Yusei repeated.

"Yeah," Crow replied as he looked over to Yusei, "It's some sort of temple over in China or some shit like that and it's populated by Kung-Fu monks." To Yusei, Jack and Kalin, Crow said, "I hope you boys are ready for a trip, because we're heading to China!"

"Akiza is pregnant with my child, Crow," Yusei pointed out, "I don't really feel comfortable leaving her here while I parade around the world. I'd rather stay here hand help take care of her." Hearing Yusei say that made Akiza smile; it was a small smile, but one that was warm and sincerely touched.

"Yusei, I know that, even if she wasn't pregnant, that making sure Akiza is okay is your top priority," Kalin began, "But think about it like this. You're leaving her in the capable hands of Carly, Brianna, the wonder twins and Dukey."

"Kalin's right, Yusei," Dukey said as he stepped forward, "Why, compared to some of the zany adventures I was dragged along onto by my previous family, staying at home and helping a young adult woman who's pregnant would be a vacation for me."

After a few seconds, Yusei replied, "Alright. I'll go along on the trip to China."

"Yahoo!" Crow exclaimed as he pumped both fists into the air, "We're going to China!"

* * *

Later, over in China, Yusei and the guys walked up to the front entry gate of a monk temple. "This is where I grabbed the Mind Reader Conch from last time I was in China, boys," Crow said as he and the others entered the temple.

"Birdbrain, I want you to be honest with me here," Jack began, "Did you steal it?"

"Pfft, no," Crow replied, "This Kung-Fu dragon dude with long black hair tossed it to me while saying I can have it. He then proceeded to head into the temple to fight a bunch of Kung-Fu monk kids for some reason or another. I don't know anything beyond that, because I took my leave immediately after I got the Mind Reader Conch."

"So, it was with you the whole time!" a young male voice cried out, and before Yusei or either of the guys could look around and ask who had spoken just now, a short boy landed in front of them in some martial arts-like pose. The boy wore a red long-sleeved martial art shirt with black trim along the ends of the sleeves, black martial arts pants, very simple shoes, and a black belt tied around his waist. Strangely enough, the boy's head was both perfectly round and somewhat big.

"You will return the Mind Reader Conch this instant!" the young boy demanded, "Or else you will taste the power of my strongest technique!"

"Even if I wanted to return it, which I don't, I can't return it," Crow explained, "Some red-headed dude with a jet pack stole it.

Dropping out of his stance and standing normally, the boy said, "You mean Jack Spicer?"

"Yeah, that fucker," Yusei replied, "He blew a big-ass hole in the penthouse where my roommates and I live, stole Crow's magic conch shell, the flew off when Kalin asked him to cover the costs of repairing the damage he caused."

"We will discuss Jack Spicer's most dishonorable attack on your home with my friends," the boy said as he turned around. Walking further into the temple, the boy said as he gestured for the guys to follow him, "Come. We will head to the sparring hall." Exchanging confused looks with each other, Yusei and the guys then proceeded to follow the boy.

* * *

About a minute or two later, Yusei and the guys were sitting in a sparring hall with the boy and three of his friends. The first friend was the only girl of the group; she wore a female version of the boy's outfit, replacing the black pants with white leggings, and the shoes with sandals. Her black hair was up in twin pigtails.

The second friend was a boy who seemed to be of South American decent. He had medium-long brownish hair, wore the same outfit as the boy save for having white pants, and he wore a simple necklace that had just a yellow circle charm that had a swirl on it.

The third and final friend was a tall Caucasian boy who was very clearly from Texas. He had blond hair, wore a cowboy hat that had a blue band on it, and he wore the same outfit as the second friend. Crow leaned to his left so that he was closer to Yusei before whispering to him, "That kid with the cowboy hat. I don't why, but I already hate him."

"Crow, shut the fuck up," Yusei whispered back.

"Please forgive us if we had been less than hospitable," the boy replied, "And also please excuse us for not introducing ourselves. My name is Omi." Gesturing to the first friend, second friend and third friend in that order, Omi continued, "And these are Kimiko, Raimundo and Clay."

"Hello, kids," Yusei greeted as he gave a single wave of his right hand.

"What brings you guys here to the temple?" Kimiko asked.

"Some douchebag who identified himself as Jack Spicer blew a massive fucking hole in the house where my friends and I live, stole some magic conch shell from Crow, then flew off," Kalin explained.

"So, you guys had the Mind Reader Conch this whole time?" Raimundo asked, giving the guys a look that was two parts suspicious and eight parts confused.

"The broom-headed fellow is the one who did indeed steal the Mind Reader Conch," Omi said to his friends.

"Two things, you little shit," Crow began, "One, my head does _NOT_ resemble a broom, so fuck you. And two, I did not steal the Mind Reader Conch, some Kung-Fu dragon dude with long black hair gave it to me!"

"The Mind Reader Conch was not Chase Young's to give," Omi replied, "But this is getting off subject." To the guy as a whole, Omi continued, "Now then, the four of you claim that it was Jack Spicer who stole the Mind Reader Conch from you while causing massive damage to your home. Is this true?"

"Yes, that is true," Yusei replied with a nod in the affirmative, "My friend Crow suggested that we come here because this is all related to that magic conch shell that red-headed boy stole."

"We're hoping that you kids, since you seem to know what the hell you're talking about when it comes to these magical items, would be able to help us track down Jack Spicer so my roommates and I can make him own up for the damage he caused to our penthouse," Crow said, "And also help me get the Mind Reader Conch back."

"I'm afraid that my friends and I are going to have to insist on keeping the Mind Reader Conch here," Raimundo replied, "But other than that, we'd be glad to help you with everything else."

"Sounds fine to me," Yusei remarked, "What do you guys all think?"

"That is exactly all that I want out of this whole mess," Jack replied.

"If the kids here can somehow throw in giving us a lift home, that's be nice as well," Kalin said, "But that's as far as I'm willing to push."

"I'm keeping the Mind Reader Conch," Crow declared, "I need it for spying and shit."

"Let's watch our language here, alright?" a mysterious voice called out, "We are in a temple, after all."

"Who the hell was that?" Yusei asked as he and the others all looked around. The guys got their answer when a small serpentine dragon with arms came slithering into the room everyone was in.

"Hello, welcome to the temple," the small dragon greeted, "The name's Dojo Kanojo Cho. Shapeshifting dragon extraordinaire."

"'Sup, Dojo Hobo-Nacho," Crow greeted, "Word up with thee?"

"Dojo here can give us a lift to Jack Spicer's evil lair," Kimiko remarked, "There we can retrieve the Mind Reader Conch and get Jack to pay for the damage he did."

"No, my bud Jack didn't wreck the penthouse," Crow said as he gestured to Jack Atlas, "That red-headed shit was the one responsible."

"The red-headed guy is also named Jack," Raimundo pointed out.

"Man, I'm glad Crow's friend from Michigan hasn't visited the penthouse yet," Yusei remarked to Kalin, "Having two Lunas in the house at the same time would make things really confusing really quick." (5)

"So, we get Jack Spicer to own up for what he did, and you guys collect Birdbrain's magic conch shell as a payment," Jack remarked, "Seems like a fair trade-off to me."

"How is that fair?" Crow complained, "Do you know how much trouble that thing has saved me? Why, if it wasn't for-"

Crow was cut off when Jack Spicer called out, "Come on out, Xiaolin Monks! I got the place surrounded!"

When everyone was outside, they all saw that Jack Spicer was flying in the air with his flying pack. He also had about a hundred or so of his bots with him. "All of your Shen Gong Wu will be coming with me, Xiaolin losers!" Jack Spicer declared boastfully, "And I will not be taking no for an answer!"

"How about fuck you?!" Jack Atlas snapped as he flipped Jack Spicer the middle finger, "Will you be willing to take _that_ for an answer, you little shit?!"

Seeing Jack Atlas, Yusei, Kalin and Crow, Jack Spicer said, "Hey, wait a minute, you four are those guys who I took the Mind Reader Conch from!"

"And I'm taking it back, you son of a bitch!" Crow exclaimed as he whipped out his Sig Sauer 9MM and aimed it at Jack Spicer before firing off a few shots. Jack Spicer panicked and moved to dodge, although one of his bots flew in to intercept the shot, taking the hit in Jack Spicer's place. "I got plenty more clips where that came from, motherfucker!" Crow snapped at Jack Spicer as he reloaded his gun.

"Jack-bots, attack!" Jack Spicer ordered, sending his remaining bots in to attack everyone.

"Ah shit," Kalin swore, "We're about to be attacked by-" Kalin stopped midsentence when Omi flew forward and kicked through three of the bots, destroying them instantly. "…Wow," Kalin remarked, having been left at a loss for words by Omi's skill.

"Don't worry, everyone," Dojo said as he came from a tower somewhere in the temple while carrying an armful of Shen Gong Wu, "I went and got some Shen Gong Wu to help-"

"Jack-bots, get the Shen Gong Wu!" Jack Spicer called out while pointing at Dojo. This startled Dojo into dropping all of the Shen Gong Wu he was carrying, causing them to scatter across the temple grounds like an outward spreading puddle of water.

"Oh ho, fuck that!" Crow said as he shot the heads of some of the bots, taking them out of commission. After shooting down a few more of the bots, Crow tried firing but nothing happened. "Fuck! I need to reload!" Crow exclaimed as he took the empty clip out of his gun so he can shove a full clip in its place.

Half-way through Crow's reloading, one of the bots came flying up to him, but about five feet away from Crow, it was shot in the head from behind before falling to the ground, very clearly out of commission.

Looking around, Yusei and the guys saw that it was Clay, wielding an AMT Hardballer, who had shot the bot that was about to attack Crow. (6)

"What a surprise," Jack Atlas said in an unsurprised monotone, "The Texan has a gun."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jack Spicer said, "Time out!" To Crow and Clay, Jack Spicer said, "The hell is wrong with you two?! You can't bring guns into this!"

"Says the red-headed little shit who attacks us with robots that have Buzzsaw hands and laser eyes!" Jack Atlas snapped as he ran towards the scattered pile of Shen Gong Wu. Grabbing a single martial arts claw that consisted of three golden claws attached to a sleeve that went around the wrist. Slipping it on, Jack Atlas said, "Okay, monk kids! What the fuck is this thing and what the fuck does it do?"

"That's the Golden Tiger Claws, most foul-mouthed guest," Omi explained, "They allow one to transport themselves anywhere in the world within a matter of seconds. Slash the air before you with the Golden Tiger Claws to create a tear in space that you jump into, then you'll come out from a tear in the location of your choosing in a matter of seconds!"

"Pfft, only anywhere in the world?" Crow replied, "That's total weaksauce compared to my Dimensional Scissors."

"Now's not the time to be a showoff, Birdbrain!" Jack Atlas snapped, "Help Yusei and Kalin clean up the magic items already!"

Doing as Jack Atlas had demanded, Yusei, Kalin and Crow proceeded to run around with the monks to gather up the spilled Shen Gong Wu. Some of Jack Spicer's bots also tried to interfere, and one of them even managed to snag a goldish-bronze scimitar that had a red tassel on the end of the pommel. "Yes!" Jack Spicer said as his bot brought him the snagged Shen gong Wu, "I got the Sword of the Storm!"

"Come on, boys, we've got to stop Jack from taking anymore Shen Gong Wu!" Kimiko said.

"Which Jack?" Crow asked.

"The one who isn't blonde!" Yusei replied as he and the others continued to collect the spilled Shen Gong Wu. Yusei reached for what looked like a silver-colored glider with black wings. There was a circular red ruby gem on the center of the top of the Shen Gong Wu's body. Yusei successfully grabbed the Shen Gong Wu before having to jump out of the way to avoid one of the bots as it was fleeing Clay, who was shooting at it with his gun.

Kalin reached for a small Shen Gong Wu that was approximately the size and shape of a five-pointed star-shaped sheriff's badge, the only difference was that this Shen Gong Wu had a circular red ruby gem in the center. Right before Kalin could grab it, something smacked into Kalin's hand, causing Kalin to flinch. Looking over, Kalin saw that it had been a pokéball that smacked into his hand. Looking up, Kalin saw that it had been Crow who threw the pokéball.

"The hell was that for, Crow?!" Kalin snapped.

"I was trying to capture that baby Staryu that you were reaching for, Kalin!" Crow replied.

"What makes you think it's a Staryu, Crow?" Kalin snapped.

"It's a five-pointed star that's mostly brownish in color and it has a circular red-colored gem in the center," Crow explained, "Granted it's a little small, but I thought that was because it's just a baby Staryu."

"The bloody fuck makes you think that it's a Pokémon, Birdbrain?!" Jack Atlas exclaimed angrily.

"We live next-door to Pokémon trainers," Crow answered.

After a few seconds, Jack let out an exasperated sigh before muttering, "I hate it when the logic behind Birdbrain's reasoning is sound."

"The Orb of Tornami is mine!" Jack Spicer said as he reached for a bright blue-colored orb that was laying among the spilled Shen Gong Wu.

"Oh ho, fuck that!" Jack Atlas exclaimed, "Golden Tiger Claws!" Jack slashed forward with the claws, creating a tear that he jumped through. Right when Jack Spicer reached for the Orb of Tornami, Jack Atlas appeared out of another tear just close enough to reach for the orb himself. Jack Atlas was able to grab ahold of the Orb of Tornami…at the exact same time Jack Spicer grabbed it as well. When both Jacks touched the Orb of Tornami at the same time, the Shen Gong Wu began to glow.

"What the fuck is happening _now_?!" Jack said, his tone clearly showing that he didn't believe he was going to enjoy whatever happened next.

"Blonde dude," Jack Spicer said, "I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!"

"A what?!" Jack exclaimed in confusion.

"A Xiaolin Showdown is where at least two warriors fight each other when they dispute over the ownership of a Shen Gong Wu," Omi began to explain, "Each participating party must wager a Shen Gong Wu before someone decides what the challenge will be."

"He's right, blondie," Jack Spicer said to Jack Atlas, "I'll wager my Sword of the Storm against your Golden Tiger Claws!"

"Fine, whatever," Jack Atlas replied, "This makes just as much fucking sense as any of the other bullshit I've gone through today."

"Since you're clearly new to this, I'll let you pick the challenge, blondie," Jack Spicer said.

"Well ain't that sweet of you, you little twat," Jack remarked, "Fine then. The challenge will be-"

"EXTREME CHESS!" (7) Crow shouted at the top of his lungs, causing the space around everyone to change drastically in order to better suit the challenge of the Xiaolin Showdown.

"Goddamn it, Birdbrain!" Jack Atlas yelled, "I was going to go for a fist-fight!"

When the arena finished changing, everyone saw that both Jacks were standing behind opposite ends of a gigantic chess board. "Hey wait, didn't I do this with a talking dinosaur?" Raimundo asked in a confused tone. (8)

"That was Jurassic Chess," Kimiko pointed out, "This is apparently _Extreme_ Chess."

"How does Extreme Chess play out?" Kalin asked.

"Like regular chess, but with a few variations," Crow explained, "Instead of winning by putting the opposing king into checkmate, you win by reaching at least twenty points."

"Extreme Chess has a point system?" Yusei asked.

Nodding in the affirmative, Crow continued, "You get one point for capturing a pawn, two for capturing a knight or bishop, three for capturing a rook, and four for capturing a king or queen. Additionally, reaching a set number of points lets you do certain things."

"I know how Extreme Chess plays," Jack Spicer said, "Heh! This is going to be a breeze for me!"

"If I get out of this alive, your ass is grass, Birdbrain!" Jack Atlas exclaimed as he looked down and over where Crow was standing.

And so, the Xiaolin Showdown began. A giant coin appeared over everything while a voice called out, "Contestants, pick what side you think the coin will land on!"

"What's that about?" Jack Atlas asked.

"The inventors of Extreme Chess thought that the traditional Chess rule of the white pieces always getting to go before the black pieces was racist," Jack Spicer explained, "So one rule that was made for Extreme Chess is that before a game started, a coin would be flipped and both players pick what side they think it'll land on. Whoever's right gets to decide if they want to go first or second."

"Well that's the most reasonable thing I've heard all day," Jack Atlas remarked, "I'll pick tails."

"Heads for me it is, then," Jack Spicer replied, and the coin was flipped. After a few seconds, it revealed the tails side.

"He who picked Tails has the ball in his court!" the mysterious voice called out.

"Sweet!" Jack Atlas said, "I'll choose to go first!" Jack Atlas had the white pieces whereas Jack Spicer had the black pieces. (9)

And so, the game began. Jack Atlas and Jack Spicer began by ordering a few of their pawns forward, with neither side capturing opposing pieces. After getting a few of his pawns out, Jack Atlas moved one of his bishops out into the field, capturing one of Jack Spicer's pawns in the process without risking the bishop itself. As the game went on, both contestants captured opposing pieces.

"Sweet! I reached five points!" Jack Spicer exclaimed, "Time to dive-bomb one of the opposing pieces!"

"DIVE-BOMB?!" Jack exclaimed, three parts confused and seven parts alarmed.

Raising his Sword of the Storm into the air, Jack Spicer exclaimed, "Sword of the Storm!" This caused a tornado to come out from the blade like a snake slithering out of a basket. The tornado flew at one of Jack's pawns and knocked it off the board altogether. The knocked-off pawn flew at and slammed into Kalin, sending him flying back. After Kalin collided into a nearby wall, Yusei and Crow ran over and removed the knocked of pawn, which was roughly the size of an adult male human.

Checking for a pulse, Yusei snapped, "Fuck! Kalin's dead!"

"Oops," Jack Spicer called out from where he was still in the showdown, "I didn't mean to do that."

"Well I mean to do _this_ , you son of a bitch!" Jack Atlas said in a pissed-off tone as he raised his Golden Tiger Claws into the air, "Golden Tiger Claws!"

Jack created a small tear and reached through it. Down where everyone was watching, another small tear appeared behind Crow. Jack Atlas's hand reached through the tear and took Crow's Sig Sauer 9MM before retreating back through. Back up where the two Jacks were playing Extreme Chess, Jack Atlas pulled his hand out of the tear he made, showing that he now had Crow's gun with him. Jack Atlas took aim and fired at Jack Spicer, shooting the evil boy genius in the center of his forehead, killing him.

"Does this mean I win?" Jack Atlas asked as Jack Spicer's body crumpled over onto the small platform that it was standing on.

"Is…is he allowed to do that?" Kimiko asked, more shocked than anything.

Looking through a scroll that he was holding, Dojo said, "There isn't any rule that bars killing your opponent in a Xiaolin Showdown, so I... _guess_ this means he wins?" After that, everything returned to normal. The Jack that was still alive had the Golden Tiger Claws, the Orb of Tornami and the Sword of the Strom. He also had the Mind Reader Conch, which the late Jack Spicer had on hand at the time of the Xiaolin Showdown.

"There!" Jack Atlas exclaimed in an angry and annoyed tone, "I won the magic fucking battle! Can my remaining friends and I go the fuck home now?!"

"We'll…have to arrange for some transportation first," Dojo remarked in a somewhat sheepish tone.

* * *

Eventually, Yusei, Jack and Crow were flying home in a giant flying ship that resembled the Shen Gong Wu that Yusei recovered during the scramble. "Who knew that the Shen Gong Wu that I recovered was something called the Silver Manta Ray, and that it can turn into the flying ship that we're using to get home?" Yusei remarked.

"And who else could have known that those monk kids would be kind enough to let us actually keep not just the Silver Manta Ray, but all of the Shen Gong Wu that Jack won," Crow replied, "Along with the Mind Reader conch, the Star Hanabi and the Sands of Time?" To showcase his point, Crow held up three Shen Gong Wu; his signature Mind Reader Conch, the Shen Gong Wu that he mistook for a baby Staryu, and a dope-ass looking hourglass.

"Wait a minute," Yusei began with a mildly confused look on his face, "I don't recognize that hourglass one. Do you at least know what it does, Crow?"

"Of course, I know what it does," Crow replied. With a hint of mischievousness, Crow added, "But I'll never tell!" (10)

END, CHAPTER EIGHT

Author's Notes:

1\. This _actually_ happened in an episode of Johnny Test. I wish that I was making this up.

2\. Orthodox Judaism sees same-sex relationships as bad. However, this is not the case for other kinds of Judaism.

3\. A similar thing can be said about Crow's arrest record.

4\. Since there are two Jacks in the same scene, both will be referred to by their full names, in an effort to save confusion.

5\. You don't say!

6\. I actually had to look up a list of handguns to make sure I gave Clay a model that was produced in the United States.

7\. This is a variation of chess that my older sister told me some friends of hers from High School played this one time when everyone in Phys. Ed was allowed to goof off.

8\. This really did happen in one of the episodes. I wish that I was making this up.

9\. To match their respective coats.

10\. Crow also knows the function of all of the other Shen Gong Wu that the guys were allowed to keep (or in the case of Crow with the Sands of Time, steal).

There's the end of chapter eight and the end of block two. This story will be divided up into blocks, which will be sets of four chapters. Chapters one through four make up block one, and chapters five through eight make up block two. Since block three (chapters nine through twelve) will go from one set of ten chapters and into another, it will be an interesting block for me to work with.

Also, the Extreme Chess rule where you flip a coin and call it to determine who goes first is a rule that I added. It wasn't a rule on the original list of Extreme Chess rules that my older sister gave me.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter nine: Yusei and friends do Gravity Falls

The day in New Domino City, a suburb located in San Francisco, California, was off to a start that was well enough. Over at the Atlas Penthouse, friends/roommates Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, along with Kalin's talking dog best friend Dukey, were all seated at the dining room table, drinking their morning coffee; Yusei was even reading the morning paper.

"Hey guys, you wanna know a secret about me?" Crow asked rhetorically after he sat his coffee mug down.

"No," Jack replied flatly.

Ignoring Jack's answer, Crow leaned back somewhat and said, "Ever since I was six years of age, I've had this overwhelmingly strong desire to-"

"Did not hear me the first fucking time, Birdbrain?" Jack interrupted, "Or do you need to clean the shit out of your ears?!"

As Jack and Crow began to snap at each other, Dukey looked to Kalin and said, "Is this normally how you guys start your mornings?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Kalin remarked before picking up his coffee mug to take a sip.

"This all is actually tamer than how mornings with my previous family started," Dukey remarked, "Although those mornings were far less vulgar."

"Welcome to New Domino, Dukey," Yusei remarked as he turned the page in his newspaper.

"Yusei's got a point," Kalin said when he turned to face Dukey, "We do things differently here than how things used to-"

"Oh, you dirty son of a bitch!" Yusei exclaimed from behind his newspaper, cutting Kalin off and drawing his attention, along with that of Dukey, Crow and Jack.

"I'll have you know I took a shower this morning, Yusei," Dukey remarked.

"No, not you," Yusei said to the talking dog. Laying his newspaper down, Yusei pointed to an article and said, "I'm talking about this smarmy little shit." The others all got up and walked over to where Yusei sat so they could take a look at what Yusei was talking about; Yusei was pointing to an article in his paper that went on about a new tourist attraction that was located in Oregon state. It was a big, bright and colorful building, similar to one of those mega-sized car lots.

Standing forefront in the photo was a short Caucasian boy with a white-blonde pompadour. The boy also wore a bright, light blue suit with patching dress pants, brown dress shoes, a black dress shirt under the suit top, a white tie, and an American flag pin on the left side of his suit's collar. "You little monkey fuck," Yusei swore at the photo of the boy in the newspaper, "I can't believe you managed to make such a comeback."

"Who the hell is that, Yusei?" Jack asked, "Do you have some kind of history with that kid?"

"Unfortunately, I do," Yusei replied as he looked over to Jack, "That fat, surly turd is a pain in my ass known as Gideon Charles Gleeful, or Lil' Gideon as he prefers to be called."

"The fuck did he do to get your undies in a bunch?" Crow asked.

"Not only did his reckless greed and unwillingness to stop at anything until he gets what he wants resulted in the death of the girl I was dating before I met Akiza," Yusei explained, "But he also managed to weasel his way out of having to pay anything to my previous girlfriend's family, in terms of funeral expenses, financial compensation and the like."

"You were dating someone before you met me?" Akiza Izinski's familiar voice called out, getting the guys to look up and over, resulting in them seeing Akiza walking into the dining room. Seeing Akiza, Yusei got up, walked over to her, and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Yeah, I was in a relationship with another girl," Yusei explained, "Zafina and I took a trip to a town in Oregon called Gravity Falls to see the sights. While we were there, some publicity stunt that was being done by that little donkey turd Gideon got Zafina killed."

"Wait a minute," Jack interrupted, getting Yusei and Akiza to turn around and face him. "Your previous girlfriend's name was Zafina?" Jack asked, "The hell kind of name is that?"

"It's a name of Arabic origin," Dukey explained, "It means 'victorious'." (1)

"Wait a minute," Kalin began, "Dukey, how did you know that?"

"I looked up a bunch of different names in case I ever became a father, so that I'd have some ideas on what names I could give to my kids," Dukey explained, "I thought that Zafina was the best girl's name I could find, while Alphonse was the best boy's name I could find."

"I don't suppose you can show me a picture of this Zafina girl you used to date?" Akiza asked Yusei.

Shaking his head, Yusei replied, "Sorry, but I don't have a photo of her to show you." Walking back over to the table where his newspaper laid, Yusei looked down at the photo of Gideon. "It's bad enough that Gideon basically got away with murder," Yusei began.

"Birdbrain does that all the time yet you never complain about that," Jack interrupted.

"But my previous girlfriend's family was more or less left out to dry," Yusei continued as if Jack had never spoken up, "They deserve better than what hand they were dealt. They deserve to have closure, or at least enough money to compensate them for their troubles since then." Looking up from his newspaper at everyone else, Yusei said, "You know what? Fuck it. We're heading up to Gravity Falls, we're going to kick Gideon's ass, and we're going to make the little bastard pay for the heaving shit that he took on Zafina's family."

"I assume that by 'we', you mean you, me, Jack and Crow?" Kalin asked.

"Well I'm in no condition to be traveling great distances like that on a spur of the moment," Akiza remarked as she laid her right hand over her stomach, which was _just_ starting to show signs of having a bun in the oven.

"And I'm pretty sure seeing a talking dog that can walk like a human would freak the locals over in Gravity Falls out," Dukey added. (2)

"So yeah," Yusei said to the other guys, "It looks like the four of us are heading out on another adventure."

"You want I should bring some of my weapons?" Crow half asked-half offered.

"Normally I'd say no," Yusei replied, "But given how much of a pain in my ass that Gideon has gotten to be, I wouldn't object if you brought along weapons up to and including your RPG-7."

"Sweet!" Crow cheered, pumping both fists into the air.

* * *

A day or so later, Yusei's Volkswagen van pulled into the parking lot of a one-story motel in Gravity Falls. "I seriously cannot believe that your van survived being in Porkbelly when that bomb went off, Yusei," Jack commented as he and the other guys all climbed out.

"And without so much as a scratch, to boot," Kalin added as he closed the door behind him.

"Like I said before," Yusei replied with a smirk as he locked up, "I take very good care of my baby." Finishing locking up his Volkswagen van, Yusei turned around to face the other guys. "Okay, here's the plan," Yusei began, "First we locate that new tourist attraction of Gideon's that was talked about in the newspaper. Next, we-"

"You guys are looking for Gideon?" a young female voice called out from behind Yusei, interrupting him. The guys all turned around to see two children, a boy and a girl, standing behind them.

The girl had waist-length brown hair and fair skin. She wore a fuchsia sweater with a shooting star design that had a rainbow trail, a headband the same color as the sweater, a purple skirt, white socks and black shoes. For some reason, the girl was holding a leash that was attached to the collar of a pig that she was apparently taking for a walk.

Standing next to the girl (and her pig) was a boy of approximately the same height as the girl. The boy had the same hair color and skin color as the girl, although the boy's hair was, at most, shoulder length. He wore a blue and white baseball cap-style hat that had a blue tree insignia over a white field on the hat's front, a reddish-orange t-shirt under a sleeveless dark blue hooded vest (the vest was open in the front), gray shorts, white socks, and black sneakers.

"Why are you guys trying to look for that creep?" the girl of the group asked, giving Yusei and the other guys a look that was a healthy mix of curious and confused, along with a mild hint of revulsion.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with her here," the boy said as he pointed to the girl, "If you guys ever only know one thing about Gideon, it's that keeping your distance from him is your best bet to keep from having everything burn down around you."

"I have a bone to pick with that little pus pocket," Yusei explained to the kids, "Not only that, but Gideon owes financial compensation to my previous girlfriend's surviving relatives for the stunt that he pulled."

"Trust me, sirs," the girl said in a knowing tone, "Gideon is _not_ worth it."

"You kids had a run-in with that little shit before?" Jack asked as he gestured to the kids.

"Yeah, he's greedy, obnoxious, and manipulative," the boy said. Jerking a thumb at the girl he was with, the boy added, "Not to mention the fact that Gideon is unhealthily obsessed with winning my sister's affections."

"You two are siblings?" Crow asked in a tone of piqued curiosity and surprise.

"They're twins, Crow," Yusei stated, "I can tell because of how much I have had a hand in raising Leo and his twin sister Luna."

"Yeah sir," the girl remarked as she pointed to Yusei, "Dipper and I are twins."

"Your name's Dipper?" Jack asked, turning to face the boy.

"Yeah, my name's Dipper Pines," the boy said. Gesturing to the girl next to him, Dipper continued, "And this is my twin sister Mabel."

"And this is Waddles!" Mabel exclaimed cheerfully as she picked up her pig in a hug.

"I don't suppose you kids could give us any info you may have on Gideon, could you?" Yusei asked, "I really want to kick his ass."

"Ooh, Dipper," Mabel said as she turned to face her brother, "We should bring them to the Mystery Shack! Grunkle Stan has a lot that he can tell them!"

"If these guys can somehow get Gideon out of our hair, then hey, more power to them," Dipper replied to Mabel. Looking up at Yusei and the others, Dipper said, "You guys wanna head over to me and Mabel's granduncle's tourist attraction? He's had interactions with Gideon before, so he can help you."

"That would be great, thanks," Yusei replied. To his friends, Yusei said, "Come on, you guys. We got us a lead on getting Gideon to own up for what he owes Zafina's family." The other three guys all pumped a fist into the air as they have a cheer of celebrating the progress that they were making.

* * *

Later, Yusei and the guys were led into a tourist trap by Dipper, Mabel and Waddles. Inside, Yusei and the guys were introduced to an older gentleman. This man had fair skin, a seemingly permanent case of five-o-clock shadow on the lower half of his face, and gray hair that was mostly hidden under a maroon fez. In addition to the fez, the older man wore a white dress shirt under a black suit top, a bow tie of similar color to the fez around his neck, a pair of dress pants of similar color to the suit top, and brown dress shoes. He also wore a pair of square-lensed glasses and an eyepatch over his left eye (but under the glasses).

"This is me and Dipper's Grunkle Stan," Mabel said to the guys as she gestured to the older man.

"Mabel, Dipper, who are these shmucks?" Stan asked as he pointed to the guys.

"They're four visitors from San Francisco who have come here seeking to collect something from Gideon," Dipper explained, "The guy with yellow highlights in his dark hair seems to be especially upset with Gideon."

"Who _isn_ ' _t_ especially upset with that little twerp?" Stan retorted.

"So, I assume that means you'd be willing to help us?" Yusei asked.

Gesturing to around his shop, Stan replied, "You gotta buy something from the gift shop first."

Yusei and the other guys all sighed in mild exasperation before they proceeded to browse around the Mystery Shack gift shop. Yusei ended up buying a keychain, Jack found a shirt, and Crow picked a novelty license plate. Looking at a shelf that held some stone tablets with runic carvings on them, Kalin pointed to them and asked, "Are those for sale? Because I'm actually interested in buying one." (3)

After Yusei and the guys each purchased their respective items, Stan said, "Alright, now I'll talk, so listen up." Clearing his throat, Stan said, "That little sneak Gideon moved here a few years back. Ever since that day, he's been a business rival of mine, and takes every chance he can get his pudgy little hands on to irritate me. The most annoying thing he usually tries to pull is to try and take ownership of the Mystery Shack from me."

"Do you know where he lives?" Yusei asked, "I need to collect financial compensation from Gideon that he owes to-"

Yusei was cut off midsentence when Stan laughed uproariously. Wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, Stan said, "Hoo boy, that's a good one, kid!" After his laughter simmered down, Stan said, "But seriously. There's no way that little weirdo will ever pay up."

"Then we'll just rob the little shit if we have to," Jack said as he pounded a fist into his hand.

"Good luck with that," Stan replied, "The kid's got his eye on his goods pretty much twenty-four seven."

"Then we'll have to lure him away from his place of residence," Yusei replied. To Stan, Yusei asked, "Do you know of any way to lure Gideon out of his home?"

After thinking about it for a few seconds, Stan replied, "Well, I suppose a social gathering-type party could be used to lure that brat out. He fancies himself as the popular type." With a bit of bemusement in his tone, Stan added, "It doesn't hurt that he has enough cash to back up how he sees himself."

"Okay then," Yusei said, "A social gathering-type party. Now all we need to do is figure out where to hold it."

"Why not here?" Jack asked.

"Pfft, like Gideon would accept an invitation to come to a party at the Mystery Shack," Mabel scoffed, "He may be greedy, deceitful and vile, but one thing he is not is stupid." Right when Mable finished talking, Waddles sat back and waved his front feet up and down quickly while squealing, a display that showed that he agreed with his owner.

"Hey wait a minute," Crow interrupted, "Doesn't the Northwest family live here in Gravity Falls?"

"You know them?" Dipper asked, turning to face Crow.

Nodding a few times in the affirmative, Crow explained, "Preston Northwest owes me a few favors after I bailed his sorry ass out of some major trouble."

"You think we can get him to host a social gathering party and have him invite Gideon?" Yusei asked.

"Yusei, dude, I could tell Preston that I want to have sex with his wife Priscilla, and he would be more than glad to run out to buy me a box of condoms," Crow replied, "Granted, I would never ask for that because I'm faithful to Brianna, but my point remains."

"So, all we need to do now is to arrange the set-up for luring Gideon out and away so we can steal what he owes to my former girlfriend's family and deliver the goods to said family," Yusei said.

"I can get Wendy and Soos to give you guys a lift up to Northwest Manor if you all need it," Stan offered.

"Who are they?" Yusei asked.

"They work for me here at the Mystery Shack," Stan explained, "They'll be willing to pitch in because I told them to."

"Well alright, dude," Crow replied as he clapped his hands together, "Now we're making some progress here! Let's get going!"

* * *

Later, Yusei, the guys, Dipper and Mabel walked up to the front door of a very large and stately mansion with two people. The first was a notably tall and slim teenage girl that had a fair complexion (with a few freckles) and very long orange-red hair. She wore a lumberjack hat, a green plaid shirt over a white tank top, blue jeans and boots that seemed to have a slight amount of dried mud on them.

The second person was a notably fell-wed man roughly the same age as Yusei and the other guys. He had fair skin, and wore a light brown baseball hat-style cap, a dark greenish shirt with a question mark symbol taking up most of the front, beige cargo shorts, brown shoes and white socks.

"Are you sure Mr. Northwest will be willing to see us, dudes?" the teenage girl asked as she and the others got up the front steps of the Northwest manor.

"Let me do the talking, Wendy," Crow replied to the teenage girl in a confident tone, "I got this."

When the group reached the large doors of the mansion, Crow knocked on it a few times. After about ten seconds, a butler answered the door. "Can I help you?" the butler greeted in a somewhat snooty manner that is usually attributed to butlers.

"Yeah, you can go tell your boss Preston that I came by to call in one of the favors that he owes me," Crow replied with an amused grin, "The name's Crow Hogan."

"I shall return momentarily," the butler said, "In the meanwhile, please wait out here. The master does not like having commoners in his mansion unnecessarily."

"Pfft, he'll change his tune right away when he hears it's me who's come by," Crow remarked right before the doors were closed in his face and the faces of everyone else in the group.

"Geez, I hope we get an answer soon," the well-fed guy said as he hopped up and down while covering his groin area with his hands, in a manner showing that he was really needing to answer a call of nature.

"Relax, Soos," Mabel said to the well-fed guy, "I'm sure you can use the bathroom inside once Mr. Northwest lets us in."

"Don't count on it," Wendy said in a knowing tone, "The heck makes you think the Northwest family will put up with us?"

"Five," Crow began, "Four, three, two-" Crow was cut off when the mansion's doors opened. Surprisingly, the door was answered by a girl who looked to be in the same age group as Dipper and Mabel. She had fair skin and long blonde hair, and wore a pair of hoop earrings, a purple casual dress jacket that was open in the front, a lavender dress, a belt of some varying shade of purple, black leggings and cream-colored boots. "Wow, I didn't get to one," Crow remarked in a mildly amused tone, "Cool."

"Mr. Hogan, what are you doing here?" the girl asked as she looked up at Crow.

"I don't suppose your father's home, is he, Pacifica?" Crow replied, "I need to call in one of the favors he owes me."

"My parents are off doing some random rich-person thing I couldn't care less about," the girl identified as Pacifica replied as she stepped to the side to let everyone in, "But I can call my dad and hand you the phone. Anywho, come on in."

…

Later, the guys, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy and Pacifica were sitting around a table, enjoying refreshments brought to them by the butler from earlier. While everyone was enjoying the snacks, Crow was talking on the phone with someone. Soos walked into the room while saying, "Thanks again for letting me use the bathroom."

"I'll be sure to have that bathroom quarantined until I can send some people in to clean up, but sure," Pacifica replied, "At least you didn't pee on the front lawn unlike Mr. Hogan the last time he was here."

"Hey, when I told your dad that I was raiding his liquor cabinet, I said that I would clean him out," Crow defended, having just finished his call. Setting the turned-off phone down on the table, Crow said, "Anywho, Preston is all aboard letting us use his mansion to host a party while he and the misses are God knows where."

"Didn't either you or one of your friends say that you wanted to invite Gideon Gleeful to this party you're wanting to throw?" Pacifica asked, a mildly incredulous look on her face.

"Why? You interested in dating the little twit?" Jack asked.

"What?!" Pacifica nearly exclaimed at Jack, "Are you kidding me?! Why would you even think that there's a possibility I'd want to date that little troll?! There are so many other guys out there that I'd much rather to go out with!"

"Like Dipper!" Mable interjected, making her brother, who was drinking some soda, spit out the mouthful he had out of surprise.

Turning to face Pacifica, Crow said, "So I take it you wouldn't be interested in dancing with him during the party?"

"With all due respect, Mr. Hogan," Pacifica replied, "Why would you even think that?"

"You're the child of the family hosting the party, and you're in roughly the same age group as Gideon if my sources are correct," Crow explained. In an understanding tone, Crow continued, "But if you're really that uncomfortable with the idea of dancing with Gideon, then I can adjust my plan accordingly."

"Why not get Mabel to dance with Gideon?" Soos suggested.

"WHAT?!" Mabel exclaimed, her eyes going as wide as they could.

"Think about it, little dude," Soos said when he turned to face Mabel, "Gideon likes you. If he knows you're going to be at the party looking for a dance partner, he'll come straight away without a second thought. He'll be too distracted by the prospect of dancing with you to care about anything else, so the guys from California will have more time to do their thing, along and with a lower chance of getting caught to boot."

Closing her eyes, Mabel sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose while saying, "Darn that big beautiful brain of yours, Soos."

"Okay, so here's the plan," Yusei said to the group as a whole, "Pacifica will host a party tonight here at the mansion, with Gideon being one of the invited guests. While he's here enjoying the party and dancing with Mabel, one of my friends and I will head over to Gideon's residence to take enough to cover what he owes the surviving relatives of my former girlfriend Zafina for funeral expenses and financial compensation. Sound good?"

"I take it that the two of us who won't be accompanying you will stay at the party?" Jack asked.

"The smaller the extraction team, the better," Yusei replied.

"Well that's fair," Jack replied, "Now all we need to do is figure out who goes with Yusei to rob Gideon's place."

"I have to stay at the party," Crow explained, "I mean, I am an associate of the Northwest family. My absence from a party that's going on at their mansion while I'm in town would be somewhat suspicious, don't you think?"

"I was actually planning on asking Jack to come with me, if I'm to be honest," Yusei remarked.

"So long as there's no Birdbrain to blow our cover, then I'm in," Jack replied with a nod.

"Well alright then," Crow said as he rubbed his hands together, "Now that we got the main parts of the plan all squared away, now's time to iron out the rest of the details for the party."

* * *

That evening, the party at the Northwest mansion was well under way. Many high society types were talking amongst each other as they dined on high-class fancy hors d'oeuvres. Some were even dancing to the classical music that was playing. One such pair of dancers was Kalin and Wendy. "Wow, you're a surprisingly good dancer," Wendy remarked, "You're much better at this than my ex-boyfriend Robbie."

"Would you believe me if I told you I practiced with Dukey, my talking dog best friend?" Kalin replied.

"Can he also walk like a human?" Wendy replied, then continued after Kalin nodded in the affirmative, "Yeah, a talking dog that can walk like a human is far from the weirdest thing I ever saw and or heard about."

Over in another area of the party, Dipper and Pacifica were dancing with each other. "Wow, this party seems to be going pretty well," Dipper remarked.

"Well of course it is, Dipper," Pacifica replied, "I mean, this is a Northwest family party, after all. What else would you expect?"

"That Mr. Hogan fellow who has history with your family seems to be doing pretty well," Dipper remarked as he and Pacifica looked over to where Crow was dancing with Soos. (4)

"Yeah," Pacifica agreed, "Although I do feel really bad for Mabel." At that prompting, Dipper and Pacifica both looked over to where Mabel, with a very, _very_ annoyed look on her face, was dancing with Gideon, who was very clearly enjoying dancing with Mabel.

"I don't envy her," Pacifica continued, "Given she's going through a hell that I wouldn't wish on any of my enemies."

"Don't you consider Mabel one of your enemies?" Dipper asked.

Making the so-so gesture (5) with her left hand, Pacifica replied, "Ehh, it's actually kind of an on again off again sort of deal. Either way, I wouldn't wish having to dance with Gideon on anyone, Mabel included."

"Well regardless, we have to keep up appearances so that Yusei and Jack have enough time to carry out their plan," Dipper said, "And after that, I think we should take Mabel out for ice cream as something of an apology to her."

"I'm going to be needing some ice cream after this as well," Pacifica commented, "I mean, Gideon Gleeful was in my house. Knowing that makes just me feel violated somehow." Dipper nodded in understanding as he and Pacifica continued their dance.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at Gideon's residence, Yusei and Jack snuck inside. All of the lights were turned off, so the two friends assumed that either the place was empty, or that any other residents of the place were asleep. Considering that it was nighttime, Yusei was willing to bet on the latter, although either one was fine by him.

"Unlike Birdbrain, I actually _know_ how to do stealth," Jack remarked in a hushed whisper to Yusei as they snuck about the place.

"Let's just find where he keeps his safe," Yusei whispered back, "Given that he has a big colorful business that was talked about in a newspaper a few states away from where he lives, Gideon is bound to have at least some sort of safe here." After a few minutes of sneaking around, Yusei and Jack found what appeared to be a den room. Going inside, they found a safe sitting on the floor. It was one of those safes that was roughly the size and shape of a minifridge. There was a combination turn dial on the safe that had a keyhole in the exact center of the turn dial.

"Unless you know how to figure out the combination, we're going to have to try and pick the lock," Yusei remarked when he shined a flashlight on the safe.

"I'm a good enough lockpicker, so go act as my lookout while I get to work," Jack commented as he got to work on the safe. Yusei turned off his flashlight and walked over to the den room's doorway. After a few heart-pounding minutes, Jack said as the safe door opened, "Got it!" Yusei walked back over and looked to see what was in the safe. There were more than a few of wads of hundred dollar bills in the safe.

"You know," Yusei said as he and Jack loaded all of the wads of money into a pillow case, "If it wasn't for the fact that I don't wanna get caught, I would have totally left some sort of mark."

"And you setting aside such a desire for the sake of competency is one of the many things that separates you and other sane people from Birdbrain," Jack replied as he and Yusei loaded the last of the money into the pillow case.

Closing the safe door, Yusei remarked, "It's a damn good thing we both wore gloves, huh?"

"No prints, no proof," Jack agreed, "That's actually one of Birdbrain's quotes." Having done what they came to do, Yusei and Jack decided to cut their losses and take off.

* * *

The following day, Yusei and the guys, after Yusei and Jack successfully got a few of the wads of money to the surviving relatives of Yusei's former girlfriend, were getting ice cream at the local ice cream parlor with Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Wendy, and Pacifica. His dish of ice cream set off to the side, Yusei said as he read from a local newspaper, "Ha! Apparently, Gideon thinks that he was robbed by the local law enforcement!"

"Seriously?" Jack said, raising an eyebrow out of surprise mixed with confusion.

"Yeah, listen to this," Yusei replied as he prepared to read aloud from the newspaper, "The home of Gravity Falls resident Gideon Gleeful was robbed last night while Gideon himself was attending a party at the Northwest mansion. Evidence recovered from the scene points to local law enforcement here in Gravity Falls as the guilty party. Sherriff Daryl Blubs, upon hearing that local law enforcement had robbed Gideon's home, decided to turn himself in."

Closing his eyes, Jack inhaled and exhaled slowly, as if he were trying to maintain his cool. With a sigh, Jack said, "If the law enforcement over in San Francisco was just as effective and competent as the officer in that article that you just read, then Birdbrain would be unstoppable." After taking a bite out of his ice cream, Jack said, "Thank goodness that San Francisco has actual cops, am I right?"

"Meh, I'd settle for ones between our law enforcement back home and ones here," Crow replied, "I mean, I hate being caught all the time, but I'd still like some sort of cha-" Crow was cut off when a light fixture over the table next to the one everyone was sitting at came loose and fell down, swinging into the back of Crow's head with significant enough force to crack part of his skull. After Crow fell face first into his bowl of ice cream, startling everyone other than Yusei and the remaining penthouse guys into getting up and backing away, Yusei took the light fixture down altogether so it wouldn't be a hazard, then checked Crow for a pulse.

"Yeah," Yusei said in an unsurprised monotone, "Crow's dead."

"I know that some of the places here in town aren't in the best condition in the world, but this is ridiculous!" Dipper exclaimed, a very alarmed look on his face.

Walking over to the table, Mabel found her dish of ice cream. With an expression that was two parts disgusted and eight parts annoyed, Mabel said in an annoyed tone, "Ah shit, Crow got some of his blood in my fucking ice cream."

END, CHAPTER NINE

Author's notes:

1\. I actually had to look this up.

2\. Don't hold your breath!

3\. I looked up a list of things in the Mystery Shack to figure out what Yusei and the guys can buy. And yes, runic tables are in the shop.

4\. Crow's ex-boyfriend was a well-fed dude, making Crow the most logical choice of dance partner for Soos.

5\. You won't believe how much time I spent on the internet trying to find the name of the gesture I wanted Pacifica to use.

Well there's chapter nine for you. Chapter ten, rather than featuring Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin visiting a show of some kind, will instead be a special chapter where Yusei and Akiza tie the knot. Chapters that have unique plots will happen in every ten-chapter milestone that this story reaches; I even already have a working idea for chapter twenty. …Oh, and characters from most of the shows that the guys have visited so far will show up for Yusei and Akiza's wedding.

 **I would like to take this time to give a shout-out to abdulbutler34, who was kind enough to be the first to leave a comment on 'Yugioh 5Ds After Hours'. Thank you for your interest, and I'm glad that you apparently like what I've gotten up for this story so far. To answer what you asked about a potential Kim Possible chapter, let me say this; I do have a Kim Possible chapter, but it won't be coming up for a while. I'm sorry that I'm going to have to make you wait.**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter ten: I now pronounce you an appeasement to the 5Ds fandom

It was around noon or so one day in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. Yusei Fudo, along with his friends Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, were walking through a hallway in the top floor of a business tower. All four of the guys wore formal suits, as if they were trying to look presentable.

"Why do I have to wear this monkey suit?" Crow asked as he tugged at the collar of his shirt, clearly uncomfortable with having to wear the outfit he was in.

"Aside from the fact that you're a monkey?" Jack replied rhetorically.

"Guys, not now," Yusei said sternly, "We're about to meet with Akiza's father, so it's important that we act like civilized people."

"I can understand why you'd have to meet with Mr. Izinski," Kalin remarked, "But why do Jack, Crow and I have to come along as well?"

"Aside from the fact that you all technically live with Akiza," Yusei began, "You, me, Jack and Crow each cover one-fourth of the monthly expenses for the penthouse. As such, that means that Akiza is a dependent that you're supporting."

"Like the wonder twins?" Crow asked.

"Exactly," Yusei replied, pointing to Crow in a commending manner.

…

About a minute later, Yusei and the guys were sitting in an office. They sat in front of a large and stately-looking desk, behind which sat Mr. Izinski, Akiza's father. "So, Yusei," Mr. Izinski began, "You wish to take my daughter's hand in marriage, do you?" Standing up, Mr. Izinski said, "Tell me, young man, what do you plan to do to support my daughter?"

"I work in a laboratory as a scientist," Yusei replied, "I work with computers mostly, although I am considering branching out into medicine." (1)

"Ah, that sounds promising," Mr. Izinski replied, "But what about your friends here? Since my daughter is living in a place where these men cover the expenses, I'd very much like to know what they do to earn an income."

"I work in advertising," Jack said, "Mostly for businesses. I'm practically the mascot for the new Japanese-style ramen stand that just opened up last week."

"I work with small kids," Kalin began, "I mostly read to groups of preschool-age children. I often bring my dog Dukey along to help me read to the kids."

"Ah, I know what you're talking about," Mr. Izinski said as he pointed to Kalin in a commending manner, "That's one of the most noble things I've ever heard of anyone doing." Turning to face Crow, Mr. Izinski said, "Now what do you do, Mr. Hogan?"

"I'm something of an odd-jobs man, if I'm to be honest," Crow replied.

"Does that…pay well?" Mr. Izinski asked, his expression three parts suspicious and seven parts confused.

In response, Crow reached into the right side of his suit top, then pulled his hand back out, pulling a fat stack of cash out from his suit top as a result. (2) "I don't know," Crow said as he waved the stack of bills in front of his face as if it were a handheld folding fan, "You tell me."

"Umm…okay, then," Mr. Izinski replied, "I'm glad to see that you're financially secure."

"We're all financially secure, sir," Jack said, "But Yusei especially." Standing up from his seat for dramatic effect, Jack continued, "Not only that, but Yusei is intelligent, mature, kind-hearted and understanding. I cannot think of anyone more suited for marrying your daughter than my good friend Yusei here."

"Not to mention Yusei's one hell of a dad," Kalin remarked, and the instant he finished talking, Kalin realized he made a massive mistake.

"Wait, what?" Mr. Izinski said in a mildly alarmed tone, "Yusei is a what?"

Panicking due to Kalin's slip of the tongue, Yusei hastily added, "Oh, Kalin's just referencing the fact that he, Jack, Crow and I are the current legal guardians of two foster kids named Leo and Luna. They're twins."

"Oh," Mr. Izinski replied, his tone showing that he's calmed down significantly, "Well that's a relief. Not to mention it's rather sweet of you to give two kids a home." Both Yusei and Kalin relaxed, slightly but visibly.

"Wait a minute, Mr. Izinski," Crow said, "You don't yet know that Yusei got Akiza pregnant?"

…

A few minutes later, a large crowd had gathered on the ground in front of the business tower Yusei and his friends were visiting. Everyone in the crowd of spectators, which included Yusei and the guys, watched as Mr. Izinski, who was struggling while screaming angrily, was loaded into the back of a police cruiser. Over to where the guys stood, Yusei, who sported heavy bruising over his left eye, turned to face Crow. "Why did you tell him that?!" Yusei asked, "We were supposed to keep that a secret!"

"One, no one ever told me that it was supposed to be kept secret, and don't you or any of the other dudes dare try to pull any of that 'it's implied' funny business on me," Crow began, "Two, Mr. Izinski is Akiza's father, and with all due respect, I think that the man has a right to know if his daughter is carrying his grandchild. Three, Akiza is enough into her pregnancy so that most passersby can tell from a quick look that she has a bun in the oven, so Mr. Izinski was going to find out about Akiza's pregnancy pretty much the instant he met up with Akiza. I figured that it was best to break the news to him sooner rather than later."

Facepalming, Jack said, "In light of this mess, I'm glad that Carly's dad is dead."

* * *

Over at the Atlas penthouse, Yusei and the guys were in the living room with the other penthouse residents; Akiza Izinski, Carly Carmine, Brianna Stone, Dukey, and the wonder twins Leo and Luna. Akiza's belly had grown just a bit more noticeable. "Yeah, you should have told Crow from the get-go that you wanted it to be kept a secret," Brianna remarked after taking a sip from her mug of whatever drink she was drinking, "I mean, how would anyone know otherwise?"

"Well silver lining," Yusei said in a mildly bemused tone, "Now Mr. Izinski more or less expects me to marry Akiza.

"Well at least my father will be bailed out before the wedding this Friday," Akiza remarked. Taking a sip of her drink, Akiza then continued in an accusing tone as she turned to face Crow, "Although it would have been nice if my father didn't have to get a criminal record before walking me down the aisle on my wedding day."

"And it also would have been nice if someone gave me some heads up before I spilled a secret I did not know was supposed to kept as a secret," Crow replied to Akiza in a tone similar to the one that she was using with him.

"Look everyone," Carly said, "The point is that Yusei pretty much has the go ahead to marry Akiza. That's all that we really wanted out of this, right?"

"She's got a point," Leo remarked to everyone while pointing to Carly, "I think this is as much of a victory as we're going to get at this point."

"Besides, we need to get ready to receive guests," Dukey remarked.

"Guests?" Jack began in a mildly apprehensive tone, "What guests? No one ever told me there were ever going to be any guests."

"Jack, there's going to be a wedding this Friday," Yusei said, "Weddings always have guests, invited or otherwise."

"Besides, they're going to be staying in hotels across the New Domino City area," Kalin pointed out, "So the penthouse isn't going to be overcrowded."

"And while the issue of wedding guests is on the table," Crow began, "There's something else we have to cover before the wedding." Standing up for dramatic effect, Crow said, "We've got to take care of Yusei's bachelor party!"

With something of a smile, Yusei said, "Oh yeah, how could I forget that?"

"Ooh, ooh," Carly said excitedly, "And while you guys are doing that, the girls and I can throw Akiza's bachelorette party!"

"I wanna see how much booze Akiza can down in a single sitting!" Brianna cheered, pumping a fist into the air.

"Brianna, babe," Crow said in a gentle reminding tone, "Akiza can't have any alcohol of any kind because she's carrying a baby." (3)

Slumping back into her seat, Brianna remarked, "Damn."

* * *

The next morning, the penthouse residents were having breakfast when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Crow said as he got up from the dining table and ran over to the door. A few seconds later, Crow could be heard exclaiming over by the front door, "Dude! Glad you and your family can make it!"

"We wouldn't miss this for the world, brah," a young female voice replied; it was a voice that Yusei, Jack and Kalin were all familiar with. The guys, along with Dukey, got up from the table and all ran out into the living room. There, they saw Crow talking to the Loud siblings, along with an older blonde-haired woman.

"So, your dad couldn't come because of something huge at work?" Crow said as he shot the breeze with his friend Luna Loud.

"That's the case, I'm afraid," the musical Loud sibling replied with a nod in the affirmative.

"Hey Birdbrain, why are they here?" Jack asked.

"Wait a minute," Lori said as she pointed to Jack, "How are you-"

"Magic," Crow answered to Lori's question, interrupting her in the process. Turning to face Jack, Crow said, "Yusei gave me the go-ahead to invite the Loud family, since Luna and her siblings made Music-palooza awesome for us." Gesturing to the older blonde woman, Crow continued, "Oh dudes, this is Rita. She's their mother."

"Nice to meet you boys," Rita greeted as she waved at Yusei, Jack and Kalin, "So, which one of you is this Yusei friend of Crow's?"

"That would be me," Yusei replied as he held up a hand.

"Congratulations on getting married," Rita said, "This all must be so exciting for you."

"I've never been more nervous about anything in my life, if I'm to be honest," Yusei admitted, rubbing the back of his head in an embarrassed manner.

"Oh, that's completely understandable, young man," Rita remarked, "Why, I myself had butterflies in my stomach before my wedding day."

"You ate butterflies before you got married, mom?" Leni asked in a confused tone.

"No, Leni," Crow explained in a kind and understanding tone, "Butterflies in your stomach is a common metaphor meaning that someone is very nervous."

"Luna's friend from California is correct, Leni," Lisa said as she turned to face her airheaded older sister, "No one actually ate any butterflies."

"Well that's a relief," Leni replied, "I mean, why would anyone, like, want to eat butterflies? They're really pretty, not to mention harmless."

"Well I think that-" Jack said, but was cut off when someone rang the doorbell.

"Allow me," Kalin said as he walked over to answer the front door.

While Kalin was answering the door, Luan pointed to Dukey and said, "So how is this dog you guys got standing like a human? Our dog at home can't do that."

"I was genetically modified in the laboratory at my previous home," Dukey explained, "Which, in addition to letting me walk like this, also granted me the ability to talk. After my previous family was killed, Kalin took me in. I've been living here ever since."

"I've got to study this at once!" Lisa exclaimed, but was kept from running towards Dukey by Lincoln.

"I'm pretty sure Mr. Kessler wouldn't like it if you studied and experimented on his dog," Lincoln said to his younger sister, "I mean, remember the talking-to that Lori gave you when you tried the same on-"

"Dude! Long time, no see!" Kalin could be heard exclaiming from the front door; a few seconds later, Kalin escorted the Teen Titans, plus Control Freak and Kitten, into the living room.

"'Sup, bros?" Cyborg greeted when he saw Yusei, Jack and Crow, "When's the wedding feast? I'm starving!"

"The wedding isn't until this Friday, Cyborg," Yusei explained, "Until then, Akiza, my friends and I are expecting to receive guests who will be attending."

"I was informed by Robin and Raven that on Earth, it is a tradition for friends of the newlyweds to present the newlywedded couple with a gift," Starfire said, "Tell me, when would you like for me to give you and your wife-to-be my gift to you?"

"You'll have to discuss that with the wedding planner that Akiza got," Yusei replied, "Although it was very kind of you to go through the trouble of-" Yusei was cut off when a tear appeared in the space of the living room between the guys and the guests. Coming out of the tear was Marco Diaz and Star Butterfly; Marco could be seen putting away a pair of Dimensional Scissors.

"I brought a bag of the good stuff!" Star said in a sing-song voice as she held up a gallon-sized plastic bag full of Mewni Mulch.

"Aww hells yeah!" Crow cheered as he pumped a fist into the air, "This wedding is going to be off the chain!"

"Sorry about not using the front door," Marco said to the guys in an apologetic tone, "But Star here thought that using my Dimensional Scissors to travel from Echo Creek to Mewni to New Domino City would save time. She also wanted to go straight into the penthouse, instead of appearing outside the front door to knock like a normal person." Holding up a box that was wrapped in wrapping paper, Marco continued, "I brought a wedding gift, though."

"How in the name of science did you guys appear through a tear in the fabric of space?!" Lisa exclaimed, her expression clearly alarmed.

"They used magic, not science," Crow said to the brainy Loud sibling.

"I knew it," Lucy remarked in her usual monotone, "Magic _does_ exist. I knew it this whole time." Turing to face her siblings, Lucy continued, "Maybe next time you guys will listen to me when I say Great Grandma Harriet isn't happy with one of you."

"I say I was sorry about giving the brooch to Bobby's mom!" Lori exclaimed, a mildly alarmed look on her face.

"Well this is all well and good," Kalin said, "But maybe we should-" Kalin was cut off by a knock at the front door. "Crow, get that for us, please?" Kalin asked.

"'Kay," Crow replied as he walked over to answer the front door. A few seconds later, Crow could be heard exclaiming, "No fucking way! I didn't know you'd be able to make it!"

"Oh, I'd never turn down an invitation to a wedding, my nigga," the familiar voice of a woman replied. Soon, Crow led Amanda B. Waller into the living room. The principal of Super Hero High School was accompanied by Barbara, Harley, Diana, Karen, Tatsu, Pamela and Kara. "The girls here need to see the world beyond the school," Amanda said, "So I figured that I'd Oh no fucking way is that a bag of Mewni Mulch?"

"You know it!" Star replied as she gave the bag a slight jingle.

"Well son of a bitch, what are you waiting for?" Amanda continued, "Light me up!"

"Hey Raven," Robin said to his teammate as he handed her some money, "Take Starfire with you to go get some snacks and not come back until the good stuff is all smoked up."

"I'm on it," Raven replied as she took the money from Robin, then made Starfire follow her out the front door of the penthouse. When Raven opened the front door, she called out, "Hey guys, some more guests just showed up."

"Who are you?" the familiar voice of an older Chinese man could be heard saying, "You are not one of the nice young men who got Uncle's register back for him!"

"Ah dudes, Uncle made it!" Crow said as he dashed over to the front door. A few seconds later, Crow came back while escorting Uncle, Tohru and Jade, the last of those three wearing a cast on her left leg and using crutches to get around.

"Why you have girl in swimsuit answer door for Uncle?" Uncle said to Yusei and the other guys in an annoyed tone.

"She was actually going to take care of a quick grocery run for us," Yusei explained, "We weren't counting on you and your group coming up to the door when she and Starfire were leaving."

"Congratulations on getting married, Yusei," Tohru said, "You and your wife-to-be to be must be very excited."

"Never been more excited in my life, if I'm being honest here," Yusei replied, "Oh, and thanks again for that loose-leaf tea blend you told me about. Akiza loves it."

Smiling, Tohru said, "Well I'm glad to see that-" The well-fed Japanese man was cut off when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Jack replied, making a quick dash to the front door. A few seconds later, the familiar voice of a young boy said, "Hey, you're that most foul-mouthed yellow-haired fellow who killed Jack Spicer!"

"Hey Yusei, it's the magic monk kids!" Jack called back into the living room, and a few seconds later, saw seen leading Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo and Clay into the living room. Dojo was laying across Omi's shoulders.

"Thanks again for giving us a way to get home from China," Yusei said to the monks.

"Well we wouldn't feel right if you guys were stranded," Dojo replied.

"What is that creature and how can it talk?!" Lisa exclaimed while pointing at Dojo.

"I'm a dragon," Dojo said to the genius four-year-old, "What, you've never seen a dragon before, young lady?"

"Dragons are real too?!" the brainy Loud sibling remarked in a socked tone before fainting and falling backwards; Lincoln quickly catching his litter sister was what kept her from hitting the floor.

"Wow, this is getting to be quite the guest list," Rita remarked in a tone that was equal parts shocked and amazed, "I wonder if anyone else is going to show up." Rita got her answer two seconds later when there was a knock at the door. As he was the closest, Jack went to answer the door again, and a few seconds later, Jack led Dipper and Mable Pines, their granduncle Stan, Soos and Wendy into the living room.

"So, where's the free grub?" Stan asked as he rubbed his hands together.

"It's not until this Friday, dude," Cyborg pointed out to Stan in a mildly disappointed tone.

"Is this everyone?" Jack said to Yusei, Crow, Kalin and Dukey, "Because I don't think we'll have enough room if more guests show up."

Pulling out a guest list, Dukey gave it a quick scan before he said, "No, I'm certain this is everyone."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Crow said, "The wedding ain't till this Friday, but who's to say we have to wait until then to have a party?"

"PARTY!" Star exclaimed as she raised her wand into the air; using her magic, Star summoned tables loaded with sodas and party snacks.

"I'm glad Lisa wasn't awake to see this," Lincoln remarked as he looked around the living room.

* * *

The partying then proceeded to happen. Guests talked amongst themselves, grindage was consumed, soda was drunk, and Control Freak and Kitten were playing a dancing game on the game console, flawlessly hitting every step. There was even a crowd cheering Control Freak and Kitten on as they racked up the points.

Over in another area of the penthouse, Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin and Dukey were talking with Luna (Loud), Robin, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Marco, Star, and Soos. "Wow dudes, this is an awesome party," Soos commented to the others.

"And this Mewni Mulch is the best stuff I ever smoked," Luna remarked as she held a rolled-up joint, half-smoked.

"Nothing but the best!" Star said with a hint of pride in her tone.

"Anywho guys," Crow said, "We've got some serious business to discuss." Laying a hand on Yusei's shoulder, Crow explained, "We've got to throw Yusei the most epic bachelor party in the history of bachelor parties."

"Shouldn't the girls take off, then?" Jack remarked, "Because bachelor parties are supposed to be boys-only affairs."

"Dude, don't be a wet blanket," Crow replied, "I think it's safe to say that Luna and Star can be considered as honorary dudes."

Scoffing, Jack crossed his arms as he said, "Whatever."

"So, Crow," Yusei began, "As you're apparently the one leading the charge in managing my bachelor party, what do you have planned?"

"Oh, Yusei," Crow replied, "I have in mind for you a bachelor party the likes of which has never been seen before, and will not be seen for years to come."

"Why does that statement fill me with dread?" Jack asked rhetorically. (4)

Patting Yusei on the back, Crow said, "Yusei, my good man, we're going to be exploring all that San Francisco has to offer us! I hope you're ready for the wildest time of your life!"

…

Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin, Dukey, Luna (Loud), Robin, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Marco, Star, and Soos were all standing outside at nighttime, looking lost and, in the case of Crow, Luna, Star and Soos, mildly dazed and confused. Additionally, the guys wore nothing but underpants, and the girls wore nothing but bras and panties. This does not apply to Dukey or Cyborg, neither of which normally wear clothes.

"I'm sorry, Yusei," Crow said as he turned to face his friend, "The bachelor party was supposed to stay local, but I think we're in Mexico."

In response, Yusei, who wore a look of bemusement, pointed to something behind Crow. Turning around, Crow saw a sign that said 'Welcome to Canada'.

"…Wanna get some pancakes with maple syrup?" Crow remarked when he turned around to face Yusei again.

"HOW DID WE ALL LOSE OUR FUCKING CLOTHES?!" Jack exclaimed angrily at the top of his lungs.

* * *

The following morning, after everyone had returned to the penthouse, Amanda was sitting in the living room, with all of the small children sitting on the floor in front of her, as if waiting for Amanda to begin reading a book to them. "Okay, kids," Amanda said as she opened up what clearly looked like a children's book, "Now I'll begin." Clearing her throat, Amanda read aloud from the book, "Nigga, that's a circle, nigga that's a square. Nigga that's a triangle, do you even care?"

"Excuse me, ma'am," Lisa said in her usual dry tone as she held up a hand, "But what kind of children's book is this?"

Closing the book, Amanda held it up so that the kids can see the cover. In bright, friendly letters was written the title 'NIGGA WE GON LEARN SHAPES!'. "…Really?" Lisa said, an eyebrow arched in bemusement.

…

Over in the kitchen area of the penthouse, Crow and Luna (Loud) were talking to Raven, Harley, Pamela and Omi. "…And that's when Jack apparently made Luna's sister Leni run away crying," Crow said as he was wrapping up a story, "Granted, the other guys didn't know it was Leni who Jack had made run away crying, and it wasn't until the guys and I relaxed with Luna that she told them that Leni has a learning disability."

"My goodness, I am so sorry to hear about that," Pamela remarked to Luna, "Your younger sister isn't still upset over it, is she?"

"Leni's actually one of my older sisters," Luna corrected, "And no, Leni's longer upset over it. In fact, she pretty much forgot that it happened."

"What your most foul-mouthed friend did was most dishonorable," Omi said to Crow, "Surely, he was disciplined for his cruelty, was he not?"

"Yeah, Luna and her siblings got back at Jack," Crow replied.

"Well I for one am glad that he got what he had coming," Raven began, "Why, if I heard that he got away scot free with the stunt that he-" Raven was cut off when everyone heard a knock at the door.

"Sorry, I'll go get that," Crow replied as he left to go answer the front door. When he did, Crow came face to face with Mr. Izinski.

"I would like to see my…soon to be son-in-law," Mr. Izinski said in a very mildly strained tone, "If you would be so kind as to get him for me."

"Sorry, but he's not here at the moment," Crow replied, "But if you would like, feel free to come in and wait for Yusei to get back."

"Yusei isn't even here to look after Akiza?!" Mr. Izinski remarked, clearly upset.

"Dude, Yusei and the guys had to do a soda run," Crow explained, "Besides, Yusei and Akiza can't spend every waking moment together." As Crow and Mr. Izinski were talking, Lincoln came walking over.

"Hey Mr. Hogan," Lincoln began, getting the attention of both Crow and Mr. Izinski in the process, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but do you keep a first aid kit in the penthouse? My little sister Lana scrapped her knee, and I'd really like to get it taken care of."

"Young man, now is not the best time," Mr. Izinski said, "I'm trying to have a serious discussion with this irresponsible charlatan."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Crow retorted, "Dude, the kid just wants to take care of his little sister's scraped knee. Don't be a douchebag."

"I'm certain that the matter can wait," Mr. Izinski replied, "We have more-"

Mr. Izinski was cut off when Crow turned around and shouted into the penthouse, "HEY, LOUD SISTERS! THERE'S SOME DUDE AT THE FRONT DOOR SAYING THAT HE WANTS TO BEAT THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF LINCOLN!"

* * *

A few minutes later, Yusei, Jack and Kalin were heading back to the penthouse in Yusei's Volkswagen van; there were a good few dozen shopping bags in the back, each loaded with two-liter bottles of soda. "Bloody hell, guys," Jack remarked as he turned back from looking to the back of the van, "Even with so much soda, I'm pretty sure we're going to run out at some point during the wedding!"

"That's why this was only the first-" Yusei said, but was interrupted when his smartphone went off in his pocket. Taking it out, Yusei looked at the screen. "It's Crow," Yusei remarked. Handing the phone to Jack, Yusei continued, "Can you answer it for me and put it on speaker?"

"Sure thing, Yusei," Jack replied as he took the phone, answered the call and put it on speaker. "What is it, Birdbrain?" Jack said.

"Jack?" Crow replied in a confused tone, "Where the fuck is Yusei?"

"He's driving, moron," Jack replied, "I got the phone on speaker, though."

"Okay, cool," Crow said on the other end of the call, "Anywho, promise you guys won't get mad or anything, but I got a question for you."

"Goddamn it, Crow," Yusei began, "What the fuck did you do this time?"

"I didn't do jack shit!" Crow replied from the phone, "I just have a question for you guys."

"What is it?" Kalin asked.

"What do four police cars, one ambulance, and two firetrucks have in common?" Crow's voice said.

"I don't know, Crow," Yusei replied in an angry and knowing tone, "What _do_ all of those things have in common?"

"Uhh, Yusei?" Kalin said as he saw something out the window, "I think the answer to Crow's question is 'our driveway'."

Turning their heads to see, Yusei and Jack both saw four police cars, one ambulance and two fire trucks parked outside the Atlas Penthouse. The three guys also saw Crow waving to them from the front lawn with his free hand. "Now before you guys say anything," Crow's voice began from Yusei's phone, "I had nothing to do with any of this. These are all here because of Akiza's dad losing his shit, and just after making bail, too."

"What did Mr. Izinski do?" Yusei asked as he parked on the other side of the street, turned off his van, and climbed out with Jack and Kalin.

When the other guys made it over to him, Crow said, "You guys know my friend from Michigan, right? You know, Luna Loud? Well, Mr. Izinski tried to beat up Luna's little brother Lincoln, but Luna and her sisters stopped him."

Over at one of the police cars, two officers were loading Mr. Izinski, whose face was heavily bruised, into the back of the car. Struggling the entire time, Mr. Izinski screamed, "I didn't do a fucking thing, officers! That broom-headed fellow is lying to all of you!"

With the guys looking back to each other, Crow said, "What a shame. Lincoln is such a sweet kid, too, so he doesn't deserve any of Mr. Izinski's wrath. In fact, Akiza asked Mrs. Loud if she can use Lincoln and the ring bearer during the wedding."

"Isn't Akiza already using some of Rita's daughters as flower girls?" Yusei asked.

"Hey wait," Jack said as he got a good look at Mr. Izinski's face, "Why does Akiza's father look like he's been put through the wringer?"

"When Luna and her sisters stopped Mr. Izinski from beating up Lincoln," Crow replied, "They stopped him HARD."

Over in another area of the front lawn, two other officers were talking to Rita and her kids. Leni was even hugging Lincoln while crying.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Jack said as he shook his head. Walking over to the officers who were talking to the Louds, Jack said, "Excuse me officers, but I'd like to-"

"A hostile is approaching us!" one of the officers exclaimed, prompting both himself and his partner to draw their guns and fire at Jack repeatedly. Riddled with bullets, Jack fell over onto the front lawn. Yusei, Crow and Kalin rushed over to where Jack fell, with Yusei bending down to check for a pulse.

"Damn it, Jack's dead," Yusei swore under his breath. Looking up at the officers, Yusei said, "Why did you shoot my friend to death?! He was going to be my best man!"

"Oh, you're the guy who's getting married?" one of the officers said as he and his partner holstered their weapons, "Yeah, sorry about that, but we thought that he was a hostile when he approached us."

"Well this is just great," Yusei said in an annoyed tone, "Not only is my future father-in-law being arrested, but my best man is dead! Now I need to find someone to be my best man!"

"Your wife-to-be will also need to find someone to walk her down the aisle," the other officer remarked, "Because no way in hell will her daddy be available to do so. The man was already out on bail, and he had the nerve to try and beat up an innocent eleven-year-old boy."

"That man better not get anywhere close to my son ever again," Rita stated firmly, "In fact, I'm going to put a restraining order on that man!"

Yusei and Kalin both face-palmed, with Yusei muttering, "Great. Jack's dead and Akiza's dad is getting a restraining order filed against him. This is _so_ going to be the best wedding ever."

* * *

That Friday, the wedding ceremony took place at the local synagogue. Yusei stood at the altar, with Kalin standing there with him as his best man. "Yusei, dude, relax," Kalin whispered to the soon-to-be married Yusei, "You're sweating bullets."

"I can't help but be nervous, you know?" Yusei replied, "I mean, I'm getting married."

"Just relax and take a deep breath," Kalin whispered back, "You're doing fine." As Yusei breathed in and out, Kalin whispered, "So Yusei, do you know who Akiza got to replace her dad as the person to walk her down the aisle?"

Kalin got his answer when he started hearing complaining coming from a clearly older gentleman. "The light in the room is too bright!" Uncle complained as he walked Akiza down the aisle, "This room is too large! The music is too loud!" The band that was playing 'here comes the bride' was actually Luna Loud and a few other teenagers, one of which was a girl Luna's age with blonde hair that had a blue streak in it. (5) They were playing music _their_ way. The music playing and Uncle's complaining continued all the way until Uncle got Akiza up to the altar, where Yusei stood waiting.

When Akiza got up to the altar, Yusei said, "You look amazing."

"Damn straight I do," Akiza replied.

"This really is happening, isn't it?" Yusei asked. Akiza only nodded in response as a single tear raced down the side of her face.

* * *

Later, after Yusei and Akiza were wedded, the after-wedding party took place. After that, Yusei and Akiza left for their honeymoon. As the limo that Yusei and Akiza were riding in took off, Crow said to Kalin and Dukey, "Ah, they grow up so fast." Clapping his hands together, Crow said, "So dudes, did either of you two see who caught the bouquet?"

"Carly caught it, Crow," Kalin said in a knowing tone, drawing a disappointed nod out of Dukey.

Crow had a look of mild shock on his face before he managed to shake it off. "Meh, she'll get over it by the next chapter," Crow said in a dismissive tone as he gave a dismissive wave of his hand. (6)

END, CHAPTER TEN

Author's Notes:

1\. Aside from the part about medicine, everything Yusei says here more or less happens in the series proper.

2\. One of the leftover wads of hundred-dollar bills left over from the previous chapter. But Mr. Izinski doesn't have to know that.

3\. Due to his appreciation of all things booze, Crow has a strong working knowledge of when and where it's okay and not okay to drink alcohol.

4\. Because it was Crow who said it.

5\. The girl with blonde hair that has a blue streak in it is named Sam. She is very much familiar with Luna Loud.

6\. Tis true.

Well there's chapter ten for you. Yusei and Akiza are married, Mr. Izinski is in prison, and Jack is dead. The next chapter will see the return of the much-beloved 'Yusei and friends do' formula, as well as explore themes such as racial discrimination, grief, and helping others live their lives.

Anywho, seeing as though I got this chapter out on 12-25-17, it would never do if I didn't wish you all happy holidays. So...happy holidays. Try not to fill up on too much figgy pudding!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter eleven: Yusei and friends do New Salem

Yusei Fudo was sitting at the dining room table in the Atlas Penthouse one morning in New Domino City, a suburb located in San Francisco, California. As Yusei read the paper, he was joined by his roommates and friends, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, plus Kalin's talking dog best friend Dukey. "So Yusei," Kalin began, "How was the honeymoon?"

"And don't skip any details," Dukey added, "We want to hear the whole story."

"During breakfast on the first morning of me and Akiza's honeymoon," Yusei began, "We were at the hotel's dining area where a really fat lady released a huge fart that smelled so horrific, it knocked Akiza out up until the night we had to leave to come back here," Yusei explained as he sat his newspaper down. Picking up his mug of coffee, Yusei took a sip from it before he said, "So yeah. Pretty much nothing happened."

"Well that stinks," Crow remarked, "Both figuratively and literally."

It was true; Yusei had recently married his longtime girlfriend Akiza Izinski, who is now known as Akiza Fudo because of course she is. "Although me marrying Akiza does have me worried," Yusei remarked.

"What do you mean, dude?" Crow asked.

"I have to make sure I keep a roof over her head," Yusei explained, "Not to mention the fact that she has a kid on the way. _My_ kid. I need to find a more stable source of income to make sure Akiza and our future child won't be left out in the cold, you know what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, we do need to find some bloody employment," Jack agreed with a nod.

"I hope we find some work and fast due to Oh my fucking god I can't believe that happened!" Yusei said, changing his line of dialogue midsentence as he read something in the newspaper.

"What did you just see in the paper, Yusei?" Dukey asked before taking a sip from his coffee mug.

"There's been a massive number of killings over in New Salem," Yusei explained. Hearing this made Dukey spit out the coffee he had in in mouth at the time out of surprise.

"Hey wait a minute," Jack began in a mildly confused tone, "Isn't New Salem the city populated by monsters?"

Nodding a few times in the affirmative, Yusei said, "Apparently, the entirety of New Salem's zombie population has been killed."

"Jolly good show to that, I say," Crow remarked as he held his coffee mug up in a toast.

"Well whereas paranoid nuts like you think this is a good thing," Yusei remarked to Crow, "The locals are mourning the deaths of friends and colleagues. Hell, one New Salem woman is mourning the death of her family!" The guys all got up to walk around to where Yusei was sitting at the table as he pointed to something in his newspaper.

"It says here that, in an interview," Yusei began, "That a local woman cried as she explained that her husband and her teenage son were both killed. After talking, the woman reportedly turned into a unicorn and galloped away. She has not been seen since."

"Holy shit!" Crow exclaimed, "That woman was an Animorph?!" (1)

"The article further goes on to say that Monster High, the local high school in New Salem, lost a small but noticeable percentage of its population, students and faculty alike, due to the slaying of New Salem's entire zombie population," Yusei continued as he read the article aloud, "Memorial services have already been held for the slain, and now Monster High is in the process of starting its recovery." Taking a look at the end of the article, Yusei said, "Huh. Apparently, Monster High is not only looking to hire some new staff, but due to time constraints they'd be willing to hire humans if they can't find enough monsters to fill the roles."

"Maybe I can help with this," Dukey offered, "I mean, I _am_ a genetically enhanced dog who can walk and talk like a human. I might be able to work things out at this Monster High place."

"Plus, there's a good chance some of the students may still be upset with what happened," Kalin added, "I could be, like, a grief counselor, and Dukey can be my assistant. Animals have been used to help those going through the grieving process."

"I can see how that can work," Yusei remarked. Folding up his newspaper, Yusei said, "Alright, boys. The five of us are going to teach at a high school for monsters!"

"Yokai Academy?" Crow asked, a mildly confused look on his face. The broom-headed turbo duelist's question drew a punch to the back of his head from Jack.

* * *

Later, Yusei and the rest of his group hopped out of Yusei's Volkswagen van, which was parked in the front parking lot. "Hey Yusei, I have a quick question," Jack began, "What's the average monster's opinion of humans?"

"I don't know, why?" Yusei replied.

"What if the human-monster relationship is rather poor, and most of Monster High's population treats us like shit because of it?" Jack continued.

"That's an excellent point, Jack," Yusei remarked as the group entered the school. As they walked down the hall, Yusei said, "Hopefully, everyone will respect us enough to at least let us do our jobs. Keep in mind that we don't necessarily have to become friends with everyone here in order to get a few classrooms worth of high schoolers ready to take their next big test or whatever else they have going on."

As the guys walked, they bumped into one of the students at Monster High. The student was a girl with pale pink skin, long black hair with pink streaks in it that were up in girlish pigtails, and there was a heart-shaped mark under her left eye. As for her outfit, she wore a dark pink girl's sleeveless tank-top over a long-sleeved black blouse, a black pleated skirt that seemed to have a resemblance to bag wings for some odd reason, and dark pink sports sneakers with black soles and bright blue shoelaces. (2)

When the girl turned around, the five guys instantly noticed that she must have been crying about something earlier, as dried lines of tears ran down the sides of her face from the corner of her eyes. Seeing Yusei and the others, the girl jumped back a bit out of mild fright. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" the girl asked.

"My friends and I are looking into applying for the available positions on the school staff here, and we need to speak to the principal or whoever else would be in charge of stuff like that," Yusei explained, "I don't suppose you can give my friends and I directions?"

After sniffling a few times, the girl replied, "Sure. I can take you to miss Bloodgood's office."

"Are you okay?" Kalin asked, "You seem to be upset."

"You want I should get you a box of tissues?" Dukey offered.

After a few more sniffles, the girl asked, "Where did you guys get a talking dog from? Some lab experiment or something?"

"I was given the ability to walk and talk like you and my friends here," Dukey replied, "But that happened long before I met Kalin and his roommates. But this is getting off subject. Why are you so upset?"

"I…I think I should just take you to see miss Bloodgood now," the girl replied. Turning around, the girl gestured for the guys to follow her. Giving each other concerned look, Yusei and the others nonetheless proceeded to follow the girl. As the guys followed the girl to see this Bloodgood person, Kalin felt that his idea of being a grief counselor was starting to look more and more like a good idea.

* * *

Walking into an office, Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin and Dukey were surprised to see that the head of the school was a woman whose head was currently sitting on the desk. "Oh, I didn't know we'd be having visitors," the woman remarked. The headless body sitting in the chair suddenly snatched the head and placed in on. "There we are," the woman remarked before getting up and walking over to greet the guys.

The woman wore a rich purple frock coat, a white frilled shirt, a fancy red tie of some kind, black pants and black boots. The woman had fair skin, and black hair pulled back into a tight bun. "Sorry if I gave any of you fine gentlemen a fright," the woman remarked, "I wasn't expecting any visitors."

"These guys are looking into applying for the open positions here, Headmistress Bloodgood," the girl who brought Yusei and the guys to the office said.

"So, you're the head nacho of the school here?" Crow asked, pointing to the woman, "How'd you learn that head removal trick of yours?"

"It's head honcho, Birdbrain," Jack corrected as he facepalmed, "Not head nacho."

"I'm a headless horseman, sir," the woman explained to Crow, "It's just something that we do." Holding her hand out, the woman said, "My name is Nora Bloodgood, and I am indeed the headmistress of Monster High."

"Well it's great to meet you, miss Bloodgood," Dukey replied as he was the first to accept her handshake.

"Ooh, a talking dog," Nora remarked, "Haven't seen one of those in a while. The closest I get to that nowadays are werewolves."

"Ma'am, what sort of positions are you looking to fill here?" Yusei asked.

"Well we need a teacher for one of the Mad Science classes," Nora began, "We also need someone to cover one of the auto shop classes, we need a new Physical Deaducation tea-"

"Education," Jack interrupted, "It's pronounced 'education'." (3)

"…The four of you are humans, aren't you?" Nora replied as she pointed to Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin.

"Yes, my friends and I, aside from Dukey, are humans," Yusei answered, "We saw that the school was willing to hire humans, so we were hoping for a shot."

"Well I can't turn away the only people who've bothered to apply," Nora remarked, "So yeah, like I was saying, the previous teacher I had for Physical Deaducation had to quit for family reasons, so I need someone to fill the role. Finally, I don't suppose any of you all can act as a grief counselor?"

"I was actually going to ask about that, ma'am," Kalin replied as he raised a hand, "I can fulfill that role, if necessary." Pointing to Dukey, Kalin continued, "Dukey here is my assistant, as I figured having an animal the students could pet would help them open up about how they feel."

"Would you be willing to also cover being a regular counselor?" Nora asked, and after receiving a nod in the affirmative from Kalin, Nora clapped her hands and said, "Good! I've been needing to fill that post most of all, given how many students here at Monster High are still shaken up about what happened to some of their friends." Gesturing to the girl that brought the guys to Nora's office, Nora continued, "Draculaura is one of the many students here who's still upset about what happened to some of their classmates and teachers."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask that girl for her name at some point," Yusei remarked. Turning around to face the girl, Yusei said, "So it's Draculaura?"

Nodding a few times in the affirmative before speaking, Draculaura said, "A lot of us students here at Monster High are still upset that we lost some of our classmates." Sighing in a somber tone, Draculaura continued, "In fact, my friends and I lost our friend Ghoulia due to what had happened." Sniffling, Draculaura said, "Who could do something like this? Why would someone do what happened to New Salem's entire zombie population?"

Seeing that Draculaura's tears were starting to flow again, Kalin said, "Well I see that Dukey and I have our work cut out for us."

"We do indeed, Kalin," Dukey remarked as he nodded in an agreeing manner, "We do indeed."

…

A few minutes later, Yusei and the others were walking through one of the halls of Monster High. Jack was going over a list that he was provided by Nora. "Uggh, listen to this," Jack said to his friends, " _Ghoulish_ Literature, _Bite_ ology, Home _Ick_?!" Handing the list over to Yusei, Jack said, "Shit. This school is going to be flowing to the brim with puns, isn't it?" (4)

"Try not to let it get to you, Jack," Yusei replied, "The five of us came here for work, which we were all lucky enough to get. Try not to piss off anyone enough to get yourself into any trouble, alright?"

"The puns are going to be a pain in my fucking ass to deal with," Jack complained.

"Ah come on, Jack," Crow said, "It can't be too bad. I mean, we get to interact with actual real-life monsters. How cool is that?"

" _You_ ' _re_ an actual real-life monster, Birdbrain," Jack retorted, prompting Crow to flip him the middle finger in response.

* * *

Later, Yusei went into one of the classrooms to teach the Mad Science class that was in need of being covered. When he entered the classroom, Yusei was surprised to see Draculaura standing at one of the tables next to another girl. This girl had long curly brown hair, caramel colored fur (surprisingly enough), and she wore a pink tank-top under a sleeveless black jacket. As the table that she was standing at with Draculaura was tall enough, Yusei couldn't see the rest of the girl's outfit, but he was pretty sure that it was considered stylish by teenage girl standards. (5)

"Oh, you're that Draculaura girl who helped my friends and I earlier find the boss's office," Yusei said to Draculaura, "Thanks again for the assist."

"Hey, you know the new teacher?" the girl next to Draculaura said when she turned to face Draculaura, who seemed to be her friend.

Turning to face the girl, Draculaura nodded once in the affirmative before saying, "Yeah Clawdeen. This human along with three others, plus a talking dog, are new teachers here."

"Humans?!" the girl, apparently named Clawdeen, nearly exclaimed as she took a half-step back out of shock.

Sighing, Yusei muttered to himself, "I might as well get this out of the way." Walking to the front of the classroom where the chalkboard was located, Yusei took a stick of chalk and wrote his name on the board. Turning around to face the class, Yusei said, "Attention, students! My name is Mr. Fudo. My four friends and I have recently joined the Monster High faculty as teachers, so you all will be seeing us around the school. Before I begin today's lesson, there are a few things that I feel need to be made clear."

Clearing his throat before he began, Yusei continued, "Yes, three of my friends and I are humans, with the other member of our group being a talking dog. No, we don't care how other humans view monsters, nor do we care how monsters as a whole view humans. All my friends and I want to do here at the school is to do our jobs. So, if you all would at the very least respect us enough to let us do that, that would be fantastic. Are we good? Is there anything else that I should be made aware of?"

Yusei noticed that one of the girls in the class raised her hand. This girl had long white hair that had black streaks in it, very pale greenish skin, and stitches over her neck and arms, along with two bolts sticking out of her neck, one on each side. The girl also wore a blue sleeveless tank-top over a casual white t-shirt. As she was standing behind a lab table, Yusei couldn't see the rest of her outfit, but it must have been undoubtedly very stylish.

Pointing to this girl who had her hand up, Yusei called on her. "Yes, miss…" Yusei replied, trailing off as he didn't have the girl's name.

"Frankie," the girl replied, "Anywho Mr. Fudo, today was actually supposed to be a free period."

Looking over a clipboard he had really quick, Yusei said, "It says here that you kids are supposed to be dissecting frogs."

"No, that's old info," the girl named Frankie explained, "You see, we don't have frogs to dissect, so until a new order is placed, we have free period."

"But I was told that there were enough frogs to cover all of the Mad Science classes today," Yusei replied, "What happened?"

"Me, Frankie and Clawdeen's friend Lagoona took all of the frogs we got for dissection and threw them into the school's main furnace down in the basement," Draculaura explained, "She said that she couldn't stand to see aquatic creatures like frogs being disrespected in such a manner, so she decided to give them a proper send off by cremating them."

"So that explains that horrific smell from yesterday," Clawdeen remarked, "My brother and some of his friends thought that someone was burning tires or something like that." Yusei could only sigh as he facepalmed.

" _This is going to be a long day_ , _I just know it_ ," Yusei thought as he proceeded to sit down at the teacher's desk.

* * *

Over in the gymnasium, Jack was standing in front of a group of male students, all of which were wearing what looked like the school's standard basketball uniform. "Okay, kids," Jack said as he looked at his clipboard, "Today we're going to be playing…casketball?" Lowering the clipboard to his side, Jack said, "No. It's called basketball. Not _casket_ ball, _basket_ ball. Do I bloody well make myself clear on this?!"

"Hey teach, I have a question," said one of the boys; this boy had pale yellowish skin and hair that looked like a flame.

"Yes, mister…" Jack said as he pointed to the student, "…Umm, what's your name again?"

"Heath Burns," the student replied.

"Okay, mister Heath Burns," Jack replied, "What's your question?"

"You stink!" Heath said before pointing and laughing at Jack, getting a few of the other boys to laugh as well.

Facepalming, Jack thought, " _I think that I may have just found Birdbrain_ ' _s illegitimate son_." (6) Shaking all thoughts about his insane roommate out of his head, Jack said, "Look, kids. We're going to be playing basketball. And if any of you are worried about how to play it, it's rather simple. It's just like your silly little casketball, except there's no fucking puns involved. Sound good to you?"

"Excuse me, sir," said one of the other boys, "But can I ask something first?" This student had a piercing in his left ear (which looked canine rather than human), he had long sideburns, and caramel colored fur.

"Well seeing as how you don't seem to be an idiotic jokester like your fire-headed friend here, I suppose I'll give you a shot, mister…" Jack said, trailing of as he expected to be filled in.

"My name's Clawd," the boy replied, "Anywho, the boys on the team and I would like to observe a moment of silence. Some of the zombies who were killed in recent events were our friends, and one was even on the team with us."

"Oh," Jack replied in a tone that showed that he was surprised to find himself touched, "By all means, boys."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Clawd held the index and middle fingers of his right hand together, kissed the fingerprints, then held the right hand up in a salute. The other boys on the team did the same.

"… _This is going to be a_ VERY _long day_ ," Jack thought, realizing it to his dismay.

* * *

Kalin and Dukey were sitting in a counselor's office, with Kalin fulfilling his role as a grief counselor and Dukey fulfilling his role as Kalin's assistant. At the moment, Kalin and Dukey were currently talking to one of the girl students at the school. The girl had long dark brown hair that had gold streaks in it and tan skin that showed an interest in tanning. The girl wore a teal tank-top, a pair of dark teal pants that end just a little bit past her knees, blue sandals, and, to Kalin's mild interest, burial wrappings around both her arms, albeit from writs to elbow.

The girl also wore a _lot_ of accessories; earrings with triangle-shaped charms, an elaborate necklace, a bangle that resembled a coiled snake, and a ring with a scarab-shaped charm on it. All of these accessories were gold-colored; Kalin suspected that all of them were actually made out of real gold. But that's beside the point; the girl was currently crying her eyes out.

"There, there," Dukey said as he gently patted the girl's right shoulder. Picking up a cube-shaped box of tissues, Dukey handed it to the girl while saying, "Kalin and I are here for you and the other students to let out how the recent events have left you all feeling, no there's no shame in letting it out, miss…Umm, what did you say your name was again?"

Sniffling a bit, the girl took a tissue from the box Dukey was holding. Before blowing her nose on the tissue she took, the girl replied, "Cleo." After blowing her nose, the girl continued, "Cleo de Nile. Of the de Nile family. Don't go forgetting that, peasant."

"Great, she's one of those spoiled brat types from a rich family," Dukey whispered to Kalin, "Just what we really need right n-"

"I'm sorry about that," Cleo said when she interrupted Dukey's whispering without even having heard what the talking dog had said, "I mean, I've been trying to shake off behavior like that for a while, but given what happened to Ghoulia, I can't-" Cleo couldn't continue as her crying restarted and redoubled. "Why?!" Cleo exclaimed as she cried, "Why did this have to happen?! She was just too good of a person! Why is it always the good ones?!"

"She's not truly gone, if you think about it," Kalin said. Cleo looked over to Kalin and regarded him with a confused look as tears ran freely down the side of her face.

"He's right, you know," Dukey added, "You still remember your friend. You still hold the fond memories you have of her deep in your heart. So long as you keep that up, your friend will live on in spirit."

Sniffling, Cleo replied, "You really think so, sirs?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Kalin replied, "We know so, young lady."

Taking another tissue from the box Dukey was holding, Cleo blew her nose on it before tossing it into the waste basket. "You know, of all of the counselors I've been to, you and your talking dog partner are the best that I've met," Cleo said to Kalin, "Coincidentally, you're the first one that's a human. Are humans better at being counselors than monsters or something?"

"I…guess so?" Kalin replied in a confused tone.

Standing up, Cleo said, "Thanks, Mr. Kessler and Mr. Kessler's talking dog. You guys must really know what you're doing, because I feel a little better. Sorry again about calling the two of you peasants earlier."

Cleo then walked out of the office, and walking in after her was a somewhat shorter girl with pinkish-purplish skin, pointy ears, and pink hair with blue highlights. She wore a black shirt that had sleeves that resembled blue and pink pixels, a pinkish skirt with blue ruffles under it, bluish socks that almost reached her knees, light purplish shoes, corrective glasses, and a knitted cap that, for some reason, resembled a horned Viking helmet. The first thing Kalin and Dukey noticed about this girl was that she was engrossed in a handheld video game system that she was currently playing.

"And you are…" Kalin said as he expected to be filled in. After a few seconds of getting no answer from the girl, Kalin clapped a few times, getting the girl to look up from her video game. She flipped her system closed, then plopped down into the armchair that Cleo was previously sitting in.

"Can Dukey and I get your name, young lady?" Kalin asked.

"Oh, sorry," the girl replied in what sounded like a Norwegian accent, "The name's Kjersti Trollson. The teachers here think I need to see you for something for some reason." Giving Kalin a mildly confused look, Kjersti continued, "You really are a human, aren't you? I thought that was just a rumor that Heath was spreading."

"Yes, Kalin and his roommates really are humans," Dukey stated.

"Your teachers feel as if you have something that you'd want to get off of your chest," Kalin explained, "Particularly about something that happened recently."

"Yeah, there is something, now that you mention it," Kjersti replied. Taking a deep breath, Kjersti said in a tone of complaint, "I couldn't go to the big video game convention!"

Both Kalin and Dukey exchanged confused looks with each other before they turned back to face Kjersti. "Umm…is there a reason why you couldn't go to this convention?" Kalin asked.

"I had an asthma attack the night before I was set to go, alright?" Kjersti replied in an annoyed tone. Flumping back against the back of the armchair she was sitting in, Kjersti said, "I mean, it's bad enough that my stupid asthma not only made me miss the biggest video gaming event of the year, but I had to spend a few days recovering in the hospital. To make things even more stupid, today's my first day back at school, and when I walk in, everyone I run into is upset!" Standing up, Kjersti said to Kalin and Dukey, "Thank you for your time, but the best way for me to feel better is if I go pwn some noobs." Opening her handheld video game system, Kjersti said as she played more of her game, "Later."

After Kjersti was gone, Dukey turned to face Kalin. "Wasn't that girl supposed to be one of Ghoulia's closest friends?" Dukey asked, "She wasn't acting like a close friend of hers was killed. Does she not know what happened?"

"That seems to be the case," Kalin replied, nodding in agreement with his talking dog best friend.

* * *

Later, Yusei, Jack, Kalin and Dukey were walking somewhere on the school grounds. "So apparently, one of the girls in my class isn't fond of the idea of dissecting frogs," Yusei remarked to his friends, "From what I've gathered, it's due to protectiveness for aquatic and semi-aquatic creatures more than anything else."

"Then get the school to order some dead rats for dissecting," Jack replied in a mildly annoyed tone, "Can't be any more of a bloody pain in the ass than hearing pun after pun!"

"I'm pretty sure that if there was a pain in the ass that was bloody, that it would require examination by a health care professional," Kalin remarked.

"Okay, you see, that was actually pretty funny," Jack said to Yusei while jerking a thumb at Kalin, "All of the puns I've been hearing, not funny."

"Well try to hold out," Yusei replied, "We've all been doing good so far, and I don't see any reason for any of that to-" Yusei was cut off when a student came walking over to him, Jack, Kalin and Dukey. The girl had pale blue skin (that, upon closer inspection, was seemingly composed of fish scales) and long blonde hair that had streaks of blue in it. She wore a hooded sleeveless jacket that exposes the midriff over a light blue and white-striped tank-top, a pair of khaki shorts that were blue, and aqua-colored boots that had pink laces. For some reason, this girl also had fins coming off of the backs of her shins and forearms.

"Excuse me, mates," the girl said to Yusei and the others in something of an Australian accent, "But I don't suppose you all could help me really quick? One of the new teachers is doing something that my friends and I don't quite understand."

Sighing in a tone that showed that he was expecting Crow to do something to mess up at some point, Jack replied, "My friends and I would be glad to help you, miss…"

"The name's Lagoona, sirs," the girl replied with a playful salute, "Lagoona Blue."

"Are you the same Lagoona responsible for throwing all of the frogs for dissection into the school furnace?" Yusei asked when he pointed to the girl.

"Frogs deserve better than to be dissected, mate!" Lagoona replied, "I had to give them a proper send-off!" Her tone taking on a somewhat firmer resolve, Lagoona continued as she shook a fist, "And if I see any fish being lined up for that fate, I swear I'll-"

"Didn't you say one of the new teachers was doing something you didn't quite understand?" Kalin asked, hoping to get everything back on track.

"…Oh, oh yeah," Lagoona replied. Jerking a thumb over her back, Lagoona said, "The new auto shop teacher, Chief Crowfeathers, gathered all of the students in class outside of the auto shop for something."

"Chief Crowfeathers?" Yusei said as he facepalmed.

"I was beginning to wonder when Birdbrain was going to do something offensive this week," Jack said to the guys as Lagoona led them to the outside of the auto shop. When they got there, they ran into Draculaura, Frankie, Clawdeen and Cleo, who were standing together among the crowd of students waiting for something.

"What's going on here, girls?" Lagoona said to the girls.

"Chief Crowfeathers said he had to go inside to get a radio with a built-in CD player," Frankie explained to Lagoona and the guys, "I'm not sure what he needs it for, though."

"Something offensive, that's for sure," Yusei said, "Girls, I don't suppose one of you can do me and my friends a favor and go get-"

Yusei was cut off when Crow's voice called out, "Okay, students, I'm ready to perform the dance of my people now!" Not waiting for a second, Yusei and the other guys pushed their way through the crowd and saw Crow.

When they did they were half surprised half unsurprised; Crow was wearing a pair of Native American men's pants (with fringes on the outer sides of the legs) and an elaborate feathered war bonnet that had a long trail of feathers running down from the main body of the bonnet. The feathers were mostly white, save for the ends which were red. Crow also had lines of white paint under his eyes.

"What the fuck is he doing?!" Jack hissed to Yusei, Kalin and Dukey.

They all saw Crow walk over to where he sat the radio down, he bent down to press a button, and traditional music started to play as Crow hopped around on one foot while saying, "Hey-o, hey-o, hey-o, hey-o…"

As Crow did his performance, the other guys all turned to face each other. "I don't know about the three of you," Jack said to Yusei, Kalin and Dukey, "But I want to strangle Birdbrain in his sleep for this."

"Well at least the students here know better than to give this much consideration, right?" Yusei asked rhetorically in a somewhat hopeful tone.

"One of the students just joined Crow in his dancing," Dukey said as he pointed to where Crow was giving his performance. The other guys looked over and saw that one of the student girls was dancing with Crow.

The girl had pale light-brown skin except for a whitish area covering the upper part of her face, long light bluish hair, wore a red long-sleeved shirt and black pants that both had patterns on them that were either Native American or Aztec in appearance, a pale reddish-brown headband, a simple orange beaded necklace, and a pair of blue ruffled sandals. The guys noticed that this girl also had hooves instead of feet, and that she had antlers coming out of her head.

"Birdbrain's a fucking terrible role-model for these kids, I swear," Jack muttered to himself as he face-palmed.

* * *

Later that day, Yusei, Jack, Crow (still in his 'Chief Crowfeathers' outfit), Kalin and Dukey were standing outside of the front entry gate to Monster High, which was letting out for the day. "You know, guys," Yusei began, "Despite a few hiccups here and there, I think we're doing pretty well here at Monster High so far, all things considered."

"I think that things went smoothly for me, given how the students enjoyed watching me perform the dance of my people," Crow stated, "Hell, I even gave that Isi Dawndancer girl some extra credit for joining me! I swear, she is a dancing machine!"

"Crow, there's a few things that we apparently need to go over," Kalin began, "One, if you want to do something like the performance you gave earlier, at least clear it with boss lady Nora first, two, you need to change back into some regular clothes, and three, weren't you supposed to be-" Kalin was cut off when a limo rammed into him and sent him flying forward a good few dozen feet. After Kalin was sent flying, the limo stopped and the driver, who looked sort of like a mummy for some reason, got out of the driver side door.

"Oh dear, I didn't see that fellow standing there just now since I was too busy texting on my cell phone," the chauffeur remarked in a worried tone, "I hope that he's going to be alright." Yusei quickly ran over to where Kalin fell, then bent down to see if Kalin was going to be okay. Yusei got back up and ran back to where Jack, Crow and Dukey were standing.

"Yeah, Kalin's dead," Yusei replied. (7)

"Oh, about time my ride got here," Cleo's voice called out. Yusei and the remaining guys turned to see Cleo walk over to the limo. She was accompanied by Draculaura, Clawdeen, Frankie and Lagoona.

"Your limo driver just killed Kalin by hitting him with the limo!" Jack snapped at Cleo.

"I was busy texting!" the chauffeur defended in a panicking tone.

"We'll be having words with your employer," Dukey said to the chauffeur in a warning tone.

"Hey wait," Cleo said to Jack, "Isn't Kalin the first name of the new counselor Mr. Kessler?"

"It is indeed, young lady," Jack replied with a nod in the affirmative.

Turning to face the chauffeur, Cleo snapped, "He was the coolest of the new school staff members! My father will totally be hearing about-" Cleo stopped short when a car pulled up behind the limo, getting everyone's attention. When the car stopped, one of the rear doors opened, and a teenage girl around the same height as Cleo and her friends came out.

The girl had long, light-blue hair with streaks of dark blue in it, and pale gray skin. She wore a long-sleeved shirt with black and dark-pink horizontal stripes under a somewhat baggy t-shirt that had a Video Game convention logo on it, a pair of mildly dark red pants with the legs going into black boots with pink laces, a pair of white-colored horn framed glasses, and a simple green-colored hard plastic headband. (8)

Pointing to the girl who just got out of the car, Yusei said, "Who the hell is that?" Yusei got his answer when Kjersti walked up to the girl and gave her a friendly hug.

"About time you got back from the Video Game convention, Ghoulia," Kjersti said to the girl after breaking away from the hug, "Sorry I couldn't go with you. I had a…medical emergency." The girl, who turned out to have been that Ghoulia person who everyone thought was dead, made some groaning noises that sounded like they were in an understanding tone before she turned around to reach into the car she got out of. Ghoulia then pulled out a t-shirt exactly like the one she was wearing. Ghoulia handed Kjersti this extra t-shirt.

"EEEEEEEE!" Kjersti squealed in an excited tone as she threw her arms around Ghoulia's shoulders for another hug, "This is so awesome! Thanks a lot, Ghoulia!" The two monster girls then looked over to where everyone was standing. Seeing the stunned looks on the faces of the other girls, Kjersti said in a confused tone, "What?"

"We…we thought that Ghoulia was dead!" Draculaura said as tears started to well up in the corners of her eyes, "Well, dead in the traditional sense, but we still though that we wouldn't see her ever again!"

"Don't worry, girls," Kjersti replied with an understanding nod, "Our girl Ghoulia here is alive and well. Well, not alive in the traditional sense, but you get my point."

"What do you mean by 'not in the traditional sense'?" Yusei asked.

Ghoulia made a few moaning noises, which prompted Lagoona to say to the guys, "In case any of you blokes don't understand what she's saying, Ghoulia's explaining that her not being alive in the traditional sense is because she's a zombie."

"A zombie, you say," Crow replied as he began to reach behind his back for something, "Well that's really fascinating to-"

"Don't you even fucking think about it, Birdbrain," Jack snapped as he saw Crow reaching for something. Yusei and Dukey proceeded to watch as Draculaura, Clawdeen, Cleo, Lagoona and Frankie go over to Ghoulia and give her a group hug, which Kjersti was also a part of because she was still in the process of giving Ghoulia a second hug. Jack and Crow didn't see the display of female friendship because Jack was struggling with Crow to keep him from doing something incredibly stupid. Jack and Crow's struggling continued into the background, where Jack rammed his right knee into Crow's stomach, making Crow fall over onto the ground.

END, CHAPTER ELEVEN

Author's Notes:

1\. Remember those books? Ah, memories.

2\. I figured due to what the cartoon's based off of, original outfits might be neat. Also, keep in mind that the girl's upset at the moment; it's not too much of a stretch to think that she probably wouldn't care too terribly much about keeping up her usual sense of fashion.

3\. This is a sign of how Jack is going to enjoy most of his time at Monster High.

4\. Uhh…yeah. Puns. This is going to be _SO_ much fun.

5\. At least eighty percent sure.

6\. Which would be rather hard, considering that Crow's a human and Heath is a fire elemental.

7\. Don't text and drive.

8\. Oh, come on. Like I was really going to kill her off.

Well, there's chapter eleven done and over with. The show that I have lined up for Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin to visit in chapter twelve is something of a popular childhood staple that has seen a reboot in 2017.

Quack.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter twelve: Yusei and friends do Duckburg

The sun had just risen over New Domino City, a suburb located in San Francisco, California. The people living in New Domino were starting their day. But none of those extras are the main characters. Nope, the main characters are the residents of the Atlas Penthouse, especially the four main guys, all of which were sitting at the dining room table with their coffee.

Yusei Fudo, one of the four guys in question, was reading the morning paper as per usual. Jack Atlas, the reason why the penthouse was known as the _Atlas_ penthouse, was smearing a bit of some sort of fancy cream cheese spread in his toasted bagel. …Oh, I don't know what flavor of bagel Jack prefers. (1) Kalin Kessler was discussing something with Dukey, his talking dog best friend and somewhat recent addition to the Penthouse family after some crazy shit went down over in Dukey's old hometown. Crow Hogan, the last of the four main guys, was cleaning his Sig Sauer 9MM at the table.

Lowering his paper, Yusei looked over to where Crow was sitting. "Do you have to clean one of your many, many guns at the table during breakfast?" Yusei asked.

"I take as much responsibility for my guns as you do for your duel runner and your Volkswagen van," Crow replied, "Speaking of the van, I'm still amazed that it survived the total destruction that went down over in Porkbelly without so much as a scratch."

"I know how to keep my vehicles protected," Yusei replied as he raised his newspaper back up to continue reading.

"So Yusei, how's Akiza doing?" Kalin asked, getting his friend's attention. Yusei lowered his paper again and turned to face the direction Kalin and Dukey were sitting in. In recent events, Yusei married his longtime girlfriend, Akiza Izinski (now Akiza Fudo). As such, Yusei's current goal is to make sure that Akiza, who is currently carrying his child, is provided for.

"Ehh, her pregnancy is developing more," Yusei replied, "She's much further into it than she was prior to us getting married." Sighing, Yusei continued, "That being said, we gotta find something else to do to earn a steady income. And it's not just my employment that's been shaky for a while, but all of us can use stable employment as well."

"But what can we do, though?" Dukey asked, "I mean, it's not like a job opportunity will just plop itself down onto our laps."

"Yo, Yusei!" exclaimed Leo the wonder twin as he and his twin sister Luna came running out into the dining room. Leo and Luna are currently foster kids being raised by the various grown-ups living in the Atlas penthouse. (2)

"What is it, Leo and Luna?" Yusei asked as he turned to regard the wonder twins.

"There's something big being talked about on the news!" Leo said. Gesturing for the guys at the dining table to follow him out to the living room, Leo said, "Follow me!" Leo then took off for the living room with Luna, without even waiting for Yusei and the others. When Yusei and the other guys got out to the living room, there was a news broadcast where the newswoman, who looked like an anthropomorphic duck, was apparently reporting live on scene.

"…And so, with his fortune having seen yet another jump, combined with another burglary attempt from the infamous Beagle Boys, Duckburg's local billionaire Scrooge McDuck has put out a want ad for additional security, as well as a few more butlers," the news woman said, "Scrooge says that he is willing to hire anyone who would be willing to work for him."

When the news broadcast ended, Yusei and the other guys turned to face each other. "Given that Scrooge McDuck is known as the world's richest duck, he'll probably pay us well," Yusei said as he reasoned with his roommates, "I say we give trying to work for him a shot."

"Dukey, think you can stay here to keep an eye on the twins for us?" Kalin asked.

"Trust me," Dukey said, "I had my fill of adventures for one lifetime with my old family. I'll be more than glad to hold down the fort here while you and the other guys go do the thing."

"Then it's settled, boys," Crow said to Yusei, Jack and Kalin, "The four of us are heading to Duckburg!"

"We just have to do guard duty and some butler work for a rich old guy, right?" Jack asked, "That sounds relatively simple. Sounds like the perfect breather to me."

"Well boys, we should go pack a few things," Yusei remarked, "Because we've got a road trip ahead of us."

* * *

Sometime later, Yusei's Volkswagen van pulled up at the front entry gate to McDuck Manor in Duckburg. Yusei got out of the van, walked over to a little intercom thing along the wall surrounding the manor, and pressed a little red button. "Hello?" Yusei spoke into the intercom, "I'm here to see about the open positions for employment?" Yusei looked over when he heard the front gates open.

Walking back over to the van, Yusei climbed back into the driver's seat. Closing the door and putting on his seatbelt, Yusei said as he drove into the manor grounds, "Well this is a good sign. Let's try to give it our best A-game, alright?"

…

Later, Yusei and the others walked into the main reception area of McDuck manor. Whistling in an impressed-sounding tone, Jack said, "Bloody hell, this place is bigger than the penthouse! How in the blazes did McDuck afford all of this?"

"By being tougher than the toughies and smarter than the smarties," an elderly yet surprisingly lively voice called out, "And I did it square!" The guys turned around to see an elderly male anthropomorphic duck come walking out of one of the rooms off to the side. He had white feathers, both his bill and feet were orange, and he wore a small pair of spectacles, a black top hat, a red long-sleeved robe-like shirt with dark gray trim, and black spats on his feet.

"Can I help you fine gentlemen?" the elderly male duck asked, "Time is of the essence for me at the moment as I am looking to fill a few new roles here around my mansion, so please try to keep your business brief."

"Are you Scrooge McDuck?" Yusei asked as he pointed to the elderly male duck.

"I am indeed," the duck replied with a nod in the affirmative, "I'm the one and only Scrooge McDuck, richest duck in the world."

"Yeah, my friends and I are actually here about the posts you're looking to fill," Yusei explained as he gestured to himself, Jack, Crow and Kalin.

"Well why didn't you boys say so?" Scrooge replied, his tone perking up a bit. Gesturing for the guys to follow him, Scrooge said, "Come on, boys! Let's see about deciding which one of you will get what job, eh?"

As the four guys followed Scrooge, Jack leaned closer to Yusei and whispered, "Well at least he's being friendly."

* * *

As Yusei and the guys followed Scrooge through a hallway, the elderly duck said, "So, you boys think you have what it takes to work for the McDuck name?"

"You'd be surprised by our history, sir," (3) Kalin remarked casually, "I believe my friends and I can handle working for you."

"Well don't you have confidence," Scrooge said in a mildly impressed tone, "Trust me when I say that you boys will be seeing yourselves put to the test sooner rather than later!"

"After what we've been through over the past few weeks, I'm doubting anything will faze us to any significant extent," Jack replied.

As the guys continued to follow Scrooge, a group of four anthropomorphic duck kids came running up to the group. The first one was a boy wearing a red polo shirt and red baseball cap, the second was another boy wearing a blue long-sleeved shirt under a blue t-shirt of a somewhat darker shade, the third one was yet another boy wearing a long-sleeved green hoodie, and the final one was a girl wearing a pinkish long-sleeved blouse under a lavender sleeveless vest, a purple skirt, and, on the side of her head, a pink bow.

"Are these four your grandkids or something?" Crow asked Scrooge while point to the four duck kids.

"The boys are my grandnephews Huey, Dewey and Louie," Scrooge explained, "And their friend is Webby, who's the granddaughter of one of my maids."

"Well we can tell that Webby is the only girl," Jack remarked, "But which boy is which?"

"I'm Huey," said the duck boy with the red outfit. Pointing to the duck boys with the blue and green outfits respectively, Huey continued, "And these are Dewey and Louie."

"Well alright then," Jack replied as he took out a small spiral-bound notepad and wrote something on the first blank page he came across; Jack wrote down Huey=red, Dewey=blue, and Louie=green. Closing the small notepad, Jack tucked it into a back pocket on his pants while saying to the duck kids, "Good to meet you."

"Did you guys hear about the attempted robbery on the news?" Webby asked the guys, "The beagle boys tried to rob Mr. McDuck again!"

"Wait a minute," Yusei interrupted, "What do you mean 'again'?"

Sighing in a mildly resigned tone, Scrooge said, "You see, boys, me being the richest duck in the world has garnered me quite a bit of folks who want to rob me blind. The beagle boys are a criminal family who are just one of the many entries on my personal rouge's gallery. The recent jump that my fortune has seen seems to be causing the beagle boys to act even more frequently. That's part of the reason why I've decided to put out that want ad for additional help."

"Well it's a damn good thing I've got combat training," Crow remarked, "If you see and of those beagle boys roll around, give me a holler and I'll kick their asses for you."

"That's a very generous offer," Scrooge replied. With a very mildly pained look on his face, Scrooge added, "Although I'm going to have to ask you to watch your language around the kids, alright?"

"Pfft, chill ya tits, Mr. McDuck," Webby remarked in a dismissive tone as she gave a dismissive wave of her hand, "I don't give a shit about the new guys' fucking language."

"What would your grandmother say if she heard you talking like that, young lady?" Scrooge nearly exclaimed out of shock when he turned to face Webby.

"Who do you think taught me how to fucking talk like that?" Webby retorted.

Jerking a thumb at Webby, Crow whispered to Jack, "She's the coolest one so far."

* * *

Later, Scrooge led the guys into a large vault where he kept a lot of his wealth. When they entered, they saw that the money was literally kept in a giant swimming pool. "Do you, like, swim in or money or something?" Kalin asked as he and his friends starred at the vast fortune with looks of shocked surprise.

"Swimming in my money is one of my favorite past times, you know," Scrooge replied.

"So, do you, like, what," Jack began, "Dive in to it from a diving board, or what?"

Laughing in a good-natured tone, Scrooge replied, "Oh heavens, no! Diving into a pool filled with gold coins would be dangerous!" (4) Climbing down onto the surface of the pool of wealth, Scrooge said as he looked up at the guys and the kid ducks, "I slowly climb into the pool before I start swimming. It's much safer, you know!"

"Well at least you keep some shovels in here," Yusei remarked as he pointed to something sticking out of an area of Scrooge's wealth; it was the handle of a shovel that seemed to have a sword hilt-like grip at the end, with a padded D-shaped grip at the end of the handle.

"With as much money that you have in this vault, a shovel would be good for scooping money up to throw into a wheelbarrow for transport," Yusei continued as he walked over to the shovel to pull it out. When he did, Yusei saw to his shock and mild worry that the shovel head was somewhat coated in dried blood. "W…Why is the shovel head covered in dried blood?" Yusei asked in a worried tone.

"Someone broke into my mansion a while ago and tried to steal some of my fortune," Scrooge explained, "I was afraid that he'd go after one of the kids when he was done looting my vault! So, I gave him a proper what-for!"

"I think you were totally in the right, sir," Crow replied, "I mean, I speak from personal experience when I say that it would be terrible if an intruder harmed one of the kids that lived with you at your place!"

"Oh, it would have been a complete and total nightmare if any of the boys or Webby were hurt," Scrooge agreed, "Those kids are the greatest treasure I have, if you want my honest opinion."

"Aww," the duck kids said in unison, all sounding genuinely touched.

"Well I see that you have your loved ones first and foremost in your thoughts," Yusei remarked to the world's richest duck, "But don't you think it would be a good idea to at least clean this shovel at some point? I mean, the dried blood is kind of creepy, not to mention a possible health hazard, what with sanitation and-"

Yusei was cut off when an alarm sounded off. "Burglars!" Scrooge exclaimed, "Come on, boys! Now's your chance to prove that you have what it takes to work for the McDuck family!" Following Scrooge and the duck kids, Yusei and the guys climbed out of the pool of wealth and ran after them.

* * *

Back in the main reception area of McDuck manor, the ducks, Yusei and the guys all saw a group of numerous thugs that more or less looked identical to each other; they had dog-like ears and noses, they all wore red long-sleeved shirts with prison numbers over the chest area, blue pants, brown shoes, blue caps and black eye masks.

"Who the bloody hell are they supposed to be?" Jack asked as he pointed at the intruders.

"Those are the beagle boys, lads," Scrooge explained in a mildly grim tone, "They're a large family of criminals who've been trying to rob me of my wealth for years on end! They never succeeded, but they're a constant threat!"

"You want the guys and I should help get rid of them?" Yusei offered.

"They're part of the reason why I'm considering hiring you lads!" Scrooge replied, "Think of this as your job interview!"

"Right-o," Crow replied as he ran forward and swung his right foot into the groin of the beagle boy who was closest to him in proximity. After Crow scored a critical hit on that beagle boy's hidden treasure, Crow turned to his left and jabbed his elbow into the gut of the next closest beagle boy. With a quick partial turn of his shoulder, Crow swung his left fist upward, scraping hard against one of the sides of the beagle boy's face.

With Crow having already engaged two of the beagle boys, Yusei, Jack and Kalin all ran forward to fight the other beagle boys. Yusei got up to a few of the beagle boys before he dropped into a frog-like crouching position, stuck his left leg out, then proceeded to spin as quickly as he could manage, tripping up a few of the beagle boys. Kalin stood on his right leg as he brought his left leg up so he can deal a series of kicks at one of the beagle boys, sending that one flying back. (5)

Jack punched one of the beagle boys in the throat as hard as he could, then he turned around to punch another beagle boy on the tip of his nose as hard as he could. Jack then took his right index and middle fingers and jabbed them into the right eye of a third beagle boy, making that one yelp in pain.

After Yusei and his friends were done, all of the beagle boys scampered away, with some of the ones that Jack had fought being carried away by their fellows. "We'll be back, McDuck!" one of the less-injured beagle boys called out as he shook his fist, "That dime of yours will be ours soon enough! Mark our words!"

After the beagle boys had all left, Scrooge turned to face Yusei and the guys. "That was a right proper show you boys put on," Scrooge praised, "Although that last thing the one beagle boy said before he and his brothers left has me concerned."

"What do you mean, sir?" Kalin asked.

"They were after Uncle Scrooge's lucky dime," Louie explained.

"Now hold the bloody fucking phone a minute there," Jack began. With all eyes on him, Jack continued, "You mean to tell me that close to ten intruders all broke into this mansion just because they wanted to steal a fucking dime?!"

"It's not just any dime," Scrooge explained, "But it's my number one dime! That dime is the first money that I ever earned in my entire life, I'll have you know!"

"But why would a gang of criminals break into your home, apparently for the sole purpose of stealing just one coin that, if anything, has more sentimental value than cash value?" Yusei asked, "Hell, the small handful of loose change I have in my right front pants pocket would be a greater prize for them to steal than just one lone dime."

Scoffing in a knowing tone, Scrooge replied, "They must be working for Magica De Spell on this one, boys."

"Who the hell is that guy?" Kalin asked.

"Magica is actually a woman duck who uses sorcery," Louie explained, "She's been trying to steal Uncle Scrooge's number one dime for quite some time. From what I've come to understand, she intends to melt the dime into an amulet that she thinks will give her the power to turn whatever she touches into gold."

"That's one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard in my entire life," Jack remarked, "And this is coming with a guy who lives with the likes of Crow Hogan."

"Yeah," Crow added as if he wasn't aware that he was just insulted, "Doesn't this De Spell woman know that it's against alchemist law to transmute materials into gold? She can get herself into a lot of trouble with this plan of hers, you know." (6)

"That's not the point, Crow," Yusei replied, "The point here is that a female duck that can apparently use magic had apparently hired a group of criminal thugs to break into an elderly duck's home, potentially harming four duck kids in the process, just to steal a dime that she intends to melt into a magic charm that lets her turn objects into gold."

"It sounds even dumber when it's put like that!" Jack exclaimed.

"We got to beef up security around here, lads," Scrooge said to the guys, "Constant patrols, checks and double-checks."

"I didn't do anything, officer!" Crow exclaimed, a mildly alarmed look on his face.

Everyone else just looked at Crow. After a few seconds, Jack turned to face the ducks and said, "Don't worry. Birdbrain probably just says that on reflex at this point."

"I hope you boys are up for patrol duty tomorrow," Scrooge began, "Because patrolling the entirety of McDuck manor is not a job for everyone."

"So, you're actually hiring us?" Yusei asked.

"We'll need to go over a few things first, but yes," Scrooge replied, "Welcome aboard."

"Sweet!" Crow exclaimed as he pumped both fists into the air, "We've just been hired by a billionaire duck!"

"…I can't believe that it's actually possible to say that," Jack muttered to himself, too quietly for anyone else to hear, as he facepalmed.

* * *

The following morning, Yusei and the other guys were standing in formation in the main reception area of McDuck manor. "Alright, lads," Scrooge said as he paced back and forth in front of the guys, "Today's your first official day on the job. Are there any questions that any of you boys have before we begin?"

"Yeah, there's something I'm rather curious about, now that you mention it," Kalin replied as he raised a hand, "It's about that dime of yours that the beagle boys and Magica are after."

"What of it, young man?" Scrooge asked.

"You mention that it was the first money that you ever earned," Kalin began, "Beyond that, why is it so valuable to you?"

"That there is quite a tale," Scrooge said, "Not one that I often get a chance to tell." Inhaling and exhaling before he started his story, Scrooge said, "Back when I was a wee lad living in Scotland, my family and I were as poor as mice. One day when I was shining shoes, one of my customers paid me with an American coin which, in Scotland, is practically useless. After having been ripped off like that, I vowed on that day not only to never let anyone play me for a fool ever again, but that I would gain a vast fortune, which I was inspired to seek here in the states by my number one dime, which is an American coin." (7)

"You, my good sir, are a paragon of business savviness," Crow remarked as he saluted Scrooge, "Bravo, Mr. McDuck. Bravo."

"Seeing as how your special dime is the main target here, shouldn't we be shown where it's being kept?" Jack asked, "I mean, we should get a feel for what would be the best way to keep it from being stolen by some horrifically deluded woman duck who apparently has nothing better to do with her time than to harass an elderly duck for his money."

"An excellent point, lad," Scrooge remarked. Turning around, Scrooge began to walk away while he gestured for the guys to follow him. "Come along now, lads," Scrooge said, "It's high time I show you what made me the duck I am today."

…

In a room that was somewhere in McDuck manor, Scrooge led the guys over to a pillar that came up to roughly the same height as Scrooge's chest. On top of the pillar was a small purple cushion under a clear glass dome-shaped cover. Resting on the cushion was a rather old-looking American dime, sitting face-up. "Here it is, boys," Scrooge said with a hint of pride in his tone, "My number one dime."

"Wow," Yusei remarked with an impressed-sounding whistle, "You certainly care for that dime of yours, Mr. McDuck."

"I myself know what it is like to own something that is of extraordinarily high value to you, even if it is of very little value if any at all to others," Crow remarked. Pulling out the deck box that held his Blackwing deck, Crow opened it, and pulled a single card out from it.

"A young wheelchair bound girl whose family I helped while I lived in a slum-like area called Satellite gave me this card one day as thanks for finding her teddy bear," Crow explained, "Granted, the card is useless to me as it is a card for Magic the Gathering, not Duel Monsters. But it still means the world to me because a sweet little girl who was bound to a wheelchair gave it to me because she was so thankful that I found her teddy bear. My guess is that the girl found it somewhere in Satellite, just like how most Satellite residents find their duel monsters cards."

Yusei, Jack and Kalin looked over Crow's shoulders to see the Magic the Gathering card, expecting a common card or something. None of them could say anything out of pure shock when they saw that the card was a Gem Mint Alpha version of Black Lotus. (8) As he put the card back into the deck box, Crow continued, "Being given this card is one of the sweetest gestures anyone had ever shown me. That's why it's dear to my heart."

As Crow put his deck box back where he pulled it out from, Scrooge said, "I know not of affairs involving those newfangled trading card games the young folk play, but your story speaks to me on a personal level, my boy." With a solemn nod, Scrooge continued, "That being said, you of all people should know why making sure that my number one dime does not fall into Magica De Spell's hands."

"You bet your bottom dollar I do," Crow replied as he patted the holster that held his Sig Sauer 9MM, "If that De Spell woman duck or any of those beagle boys working for her tries to make off with your number one dime, I'll pop a cap in all of their asses."

"Well I'm certainly glad to see that you boys are keen on doing your jobs," Scrooge remarked, "Caring about your work is not something I've been seeing a lot of recently in most other young folks out there looking for a j-"

"Webby has just been kidnapped by the beagle boys!" Louie exclaimed, cutting Scrooge off in the process, as he and his brothers ran into the room that Scrooge and the guys were in, "They even left a ransom note!"

"Those darn beagle boys did what now?!" Scrooge exclaimed. Huey handed Scrooge the letter in question. "Bah," Scrooge scoffed in an annoyed tone, "This is clearly written by De Spell, since those beagle boys can barely read and write at a kindergarten level." Scrooge showed the note to Yusei and the other guys, who read what it said; _If you want to see the kidnapped duck(s) again_ , _you will bring me your number one dime to the enclosed address at midnight_. ~ _Magica De Spell_

"That son of a bitch," Crow said as he finished reading the note. To Scrooge, Crow said, "Don't you worry, sir. The boys and I will go and bring back your maid's granddaughter. You can count on us!"

"De Spell will be expecting my number one dime in return for Webby," Scrooge pointed out, "How do you all intend to trick her? She's not an idiot."

"The woman wants to steal a dime because she thinks that melting it into an amulet of some kind will give her the power to turn objects into gold," Jack stated with his best deadpan expression, "I think that speaks volumes of her intelligence level."

"I have an idea," Kalin said, getting everyone to turn to face him, "That just might work."

* * *

The address that was enclosed in the ransom letter turned out to be for an old automotive warehouse, which Yusei and the guys snuck into. "Remember, Birdbrain," Jack hissed at Crow in a whisper, "This is supposed to be a stealth mission. A _stealth_ mission. Do you understand?"

Crow shot Jack a quick thumbs-up. "Guys, stop moving," Yusei said in a hushed tone, getting the rest of the group to stop. Hiding behind some rather large crates, Yusei pointed out something to the other guys; under the light of an overhead fixture was a group of about several beagle boys standing around casually, and sitting helplessly in the center was Webby, tied down to a chair. Sitting on the hood of a car (this _is_ an automotive factory) was an adult female duck wearing a long-sleeved black robe. For some reason, she had long, straight black hair on her head (it resembled a human hairstyle).

"That must be Magica De Spell," Yusei whispered to his friends as he pointed to the adult female duck. Turning to face Kalin, Yusei asked, "Are you sure this plan of yours will work?"

"It will at least buy you guys some time," Kalin replied in a whisper, "Just get into action the moment I make my move."

As the beagle boys and Magica stood around waiting, they heard a voice call out, "Magica De Spell, I presume?"

All heads then turned to see Kalin walk up to them, both of his hands up in the air. "Yes, I am the great sorceress Magica De Spell," the adult female duck replied, "What do you want?"

"I am an employee of the McDuck family, here on their behalf to hand over Scrooge McDuck's number one dime in exchange for the safe return of Webby," Kalin explained as he brought his right hand down so he could reach into the right front side pocket of the jacket he was wearing.

Pulling his right hand back out, Kalin revealed that he was holding a silvery coin that was roughly the size of an American dime; due to the distance at which Magica and the beagle boys stood, none of them could see the coin clearly. All they could see was that it was silvery like a dime, circular like a dime, and the size of a dime.

"At last!" Magica exclaimed as she ran forward to snatch the coin out of Kalin's hand. When she did, Magica got a good look at it and saw, to her shock, that it wasn't Scrooge's number one dime. It wasn't even a dime, either; it was a British five pence coin. (9)

"This isn't Scrooge McDuck's number one dime, you fool!" Magica exclaimed angrily at Kalin.

With something of a smug smirk, Kalin said, "Nope! I figured that Mr. McDuck would get a kick out of how I tricked you with a coin that isn't even spendable in the United States!" Making the devil horns sign with both hands, Kalin crossed his arms while saying, "You just got Kessler'd!"

"Uggh, really?" Crow's voice called out, "That's the lamest taunt I ever heard in my life dude." Hearing Crow speak out made Kalin, Magica and the beagle boys turn to see Yusei, Jack and Crow escorting a freed Webby out of the automotive warehouse. Or at least that's what they were hoping to do, but being noticed ruined that.

"Birdbrain, what the hell?!" Jack exclaimed, "Kalin's plan was working perfectly! Why did you have to go and fuck it up by revealing our presence?!"

"With all due respect, 'you just got Kessler'd' is one of the dumbest, if not _the_ dumbest, things I've ever heard in my life," Crow defended, "We need to give him a list of taunts to use in the future when we get back so that he won't say something stupid like that ever again."

"I was all for letting Kalin have that," Yusei remarked, "Especially since-"

"I will not have the wool pulled over my eyes!" Magica screamed as she raised a staff into the air, the highest raised point of the staff glowing with a magical aura. This caused the car that Magica was previously sitting on the hood of to float up and fly at Yusei, landing on top of him and crushing him to death. (10)

"Oh no!" Web by exclaimed as blood started to trickle out from underneath the damaged remains of the car.

"I will be having Scrooge's number one dime!" Magica screamed, using the same power she used to fling the car at Yusei to levitate the remaining guys and Webby, leaving them helpless. "I will not be denied of my prize!" Magica exclaimed, "I will-"

"Can I just ask you something really quick?" Jack interrupted, catching the mad woman duck off guard just enough to get her to stop.

"…Fine, but make it quick," Magica replied.

"What in the name of fuck makes you think that melting a fucking dime into an amulet will give you the power to turn stuff into gold?" Jack asked.

"It is the first money that the richest duck in the world ever earned!" Magica explained, "Therefore it-"

"No," Jack interrupted again, "No, whatever the bloody hell you're about to say is not right! There is no way that melting a fucking dime, regardless of history, sentimental value or whatever the fuck else you can think of, would give anything enough power so that if you melted it down into an amulet, that amulet wound basically make you King fucking Midas! It's a bloody fairy-tale, not a piece of shit recipe that would actually work! I would normally tell you that you ought to be ashamed of yourself, but I'm not going to because I highly doubt that, given how bat shit crazy you clearly are, that you're even capable of comprehending the concept of shame!"

Everyone was stunned into silence after the verbal smack-down Jack just dealt Magica, but none more so than Magica herself, who was wide-eyed with shock. Due to how shocked she was, Magica's focus on her magic went kaput, and as a result Jack, Crow, Kalin and Webby were freed. As the guys and Webby landed on their feet, Crow and Kalin looked over to where Magica and the beagle boys still stood.

"…Damn, Jack," Crow remarked, "That was nothing short of brutal."

"Well I for one am glad to see that I actually left something of an impact on the woman," Jack remarked, hands on his hips.

"Should…should we call the police?" Webby asked in a tone that was three parts worried and seven parts concerned, "I mean, that crazy-ass bitch and her fucking cannon fodder are clearly too stunned to try and make a break for it."

"Yeah, we…yeah, we should call the police, Webby," Kalin replied, his tone sounding quietly shocked.

* * *

At around nine-thirty-two in the morning following the encounter with Magica, Jack, Crow and Kalin stood in front of Scrooge, his nephews and Webby in the main reception area of McDuck manor. "Well, boys," Scrooge began, "I'm impressed that you not only managed to save Webby, but that you got Magica and the beagle boys she hired to willingly turn themselves over to the authorities. I hear talk that Magica even thinks that she should go to the nut house."

"Good!" Jack declared, "That's where she rightfully belongs, if you ask me!"

"Oh, and lads," Scrooge continued in a more sympathetic tone, "I'm sorry to hear that yer pal got killed in your efforts to save Webby. Rest assured that I will be sending his next of kin some very generous financial compensation to help with final expenses. Oh, and give your pal's wife my regards, will you? Must be really tough for the poor girl, becoming a widow so soon after becoming a wife."

"Meh, it won't last long," Crow replied. (11)

…

Jack, Crow and Kalin were up in the room that they shared while staying at McDuck manor for their jobs as part of the McDuck family's staff. "Hey guys, I just had a thought," Kalin began, "Who's going to tell Akiza that Yusei's been killed?"

In response, both Jack and Crow raised their right hands at the exact same time while saying, "Not it!"

Kalin tried to say 'not it' as well, but realized that Jack and Crow had beaten him to the punch. Snapping his fingers in a disappointed manner, Kalin said, "Damn it!"

END, CHAPTER TWELVE

Author's Notes:

(1) If it will get you to stop wondering, it was an everything bagel.

(2) If you can call some of them grown-ups.

(3) Very surprised.

(4) If what I've seen from videos on the internet talking about the subject is true.

(5) Think Chun-li from Street Fighter.

(6) Transmuting gold isn't as much of a taboo as human transmutation, but it's still something of a big no-no.

(7) This is a shortened version of a true story.

(8) This card, from what I've come to understand, is more or less considered to be the Holy Grail of Magic the Gathering.

(9) I actually own a British five pence coin in real life, so I was able to compare it to an American dime.

(10) I'm pretty sure that telekinesis is not a power that Magica possesses, but she has it here anyway because I'm trying to maintain a pattern.

(11) He's got a point.

The classic Ducktales cartoon is in my opinion a very good cartoon (I'd give it at least a solid eight out of ten) that I've seen a lot of people give a thumbs-up to. It is for their sake that I hope that the 2017 reboot will be just as appealing as its timeless inspiration. I saw a few episodes of the reboot, and it seems pretty solid to me so far. Here's hoping that holds up.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter thirteen: Yusei and friends do Jim Jr. Junior High (1)

Yusei Fudo was sitting at the dining room table one morning in the Atlas Penthouse, which was located in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. As per usual, Yusei was drinking a mug of coffee while scanning the morning paper. Sitting at the table with Yusei was one of his roommates, Kalin Kessler, and Kalin's talking dog best friend Dukey.

"Oh, Yusei," Kalin began after setting his mug down, "Yesterday afternoon while Dukey and I were in town, we passed by this store that sells everything a parent would need for raising a baby, and we saw some onesies that would look adorable on your and Akiza's upcoming child. The onesies even come in a variety of styles, so you won't have to worry about the baby getting some gender-inappropriate styles."

"It's very generous of you and Dukey to keep an eye out for things like that for me and Akiza," Yusei remarked.

"I have to ask, though," Carly Carmine, the girlfriend of Yusei's roommate Jack Atlas, asked when she and Jack entered the dining room, "Why is Kalin, of all the people living here, doing things like scouting out the best ideas for clothes and cribs like that? Not to mention the fact that he regularly gushes over adorable things. Aren't girls supposed to be doing stuff like that?"

"There's nothing wrong with Kalin saying that he finds something adorable," Yusei remarked, "Besides, Akiza's pregnancy is developing more, so she isn't in too much of a condition to be going out and about. Also, I don't see either you or Brianna scouting out clothing options for my future child, or shopping around for the best crib on the market."

"He's got a point, Carly," Jack pointed out as he and Carly sat at the table, "So what if Kalin's a bit in touch with his feminine side? It's better that Birdbrain being in touch with his insane side."

"Thank you, Jack," Kalin said, giving Jack a nod in thanks.

"Any time, Kalin," Jack replied while offering Kalin a fist-bump, which was accepted right away.

As Yusei continued to scan the paper, he seemingly stopped on something that caught his eye. "Hey Kalin," Yusei began in a mildly concerned tone as he sat his paper down, "What was the name of the child psychologist that you recommended to me and Akiza again for when our child is born?"

"You mean Dr. Werner P. Lipschitz?" Kalin replied, "Yeah, what about him?"

"Well it says here in the paper that he's been arrested," Yusei said when he pointed to something in his paper.

"What?!" Kalin exclaimed in shock when he got up to walk over to where Yusei was sitting.

When Dukey, Jack and Carly all came over to where Yusei was sitting, Yusei said as he pointed to the newspaper article in question, "Yeah. It says here that he's been arrested on multiple charges, most of which are related to fraud. His trial is set to start this Friday, but he already has a number of people vouching for his innocence, including local woman Didi Pickles."

Before anyone could say anything else, Crow Hogan, the roommate of Yusei, Jack and Kalin, came running into the dining room. Crow was followed by his girlfriend Brianna Stone. "Did I just hear you right, Yusei?" Crow asked in a tone that was two parts concerned and eight parts serious, "Did you just say Lipschitz?"

"Yeah, what about him?" Yusei asked, giving his roommate and friend a confused look. (2)

"…Guys, we have to go to that trial," Crow said in a slightly more serious tone, "We cannot allow that freeloading son of a bitch to win his trial. The future of children all over the nation depends on it!"

"Crow, are you okay?" Yusei asked in a concerned tone.

"When _is_ Birdbrain okay, Yusei?" Jack asked rhetorically in a sarcastic tone.

"Now's not the time for your bullshit, Jack," Crow said, "This is serious. Brianna and I were lying in bed watching the news when a breaking news bulletin that talked about Lipschitz's arrest was shown. It mentioned that Lipschitz has also just been charged with two charges of child negligence and one charge of child endangerment!"

"No way is that true!" Kalin declared, "Dr. Lipschitz would never do something like that! It would ruin his reputation as a child psychologist!"

"It's what the news said, Kalin," Brianna replied, "Don't shoot Crow and I. We're just the messengers."

Turing to face Yusei, Kalin said, "Yusei, we have to go to where the trial is being held. We've got to find out whether or not those charges really are true."

Getting up from his chair, Yusei sighed before he replied, "Very well. We'll head to where the trial is taking place." To Jack, Crow and Kalin, Yusei continued, "We'll be getting to the city a few days before the trial is held, so you guys had better pack some bags."

"I really hope that all of those charges that have been levied against Dr. Lipschitz are completely unfounded," Dukey remarked, "It'd be terrible if a man in the field of child psychology as renowned and experienced as him was brought down so low."

"I hope that the charges are unfounded too, Dukey," Kalin replied, "Most of the things that I'm planning on recommending to Yusei and Akiza for when their child is born are based off of his writings."

"A guy following the word of a child psychologist?" Carly said in a confused tone, "Isn't that something that-"

"-I have absolutely no trouble with whatsoever," Jack interrupted, finishing Carly's sentence for her with something she wasn't intending to say at all.

* * *

Yusei and the guys pulled into the parking lot of a junior high school, called Jim Jr. Junior High, that was located in the city where the Lipschitz trial was going to be held. As all of the guys got out of Yusei's Volkswagen van, Yusei said as he locked his van up, "Okay Crow. Why did you want us to stop here at a junior high school, of all places?"

"A good friend of mine is here," Crow explained as he gestured for Yusei, Jack and Kalin to follow him into the school. As the guys walked through the front entry hall, Crow said, "My friend can help us settle in while we're staying in this city, not to mention give us advice on where we can grab meals at."

"So, you're friends with a member of this school's faculty?" Kalin asked.

Before Crow could speak, someone called out, "Whoa! I wasn't expecting to see you here, dude!" The guys turned to see a somewhat younger student of the school walk up to them. It was a boy wearing an orange-and-purple stripped Sherpa hat, an orange long-sleeved shirt that had red flame patterns on the ends of the sleeves, a pair of somewhat baggy purple cargo shorts, socks and a pair of red-and-white sneakers. Walking up to Crow, the kid offered him a fist bump while saying, "You here on business, Crow?"

"Yes, but not official business, Dil," Crow replied in a mildly grim tone. Turning to face the others, Crow said as he gestured to the kid, "Dudes, this is my friend Dil Pickles, who is also my contact in this city."

"How old are you, young man?" Jack asked as he pointed to Dil.

"Ten," Dil replied casually without missing a beat, "Although I carry a fake ID card that says I'm twenty-six."

"Birdbrain, what the bloody hell are you doing socializing with a kid who is slightly less than half your age?!" Jack snapped angrily.

"Hey, there is no minimum age requirement on being awesome," Crow defended. Jerking a thumb to Dil, Crow continued, "Besides, Dil here is one of my most trusted associates. We can count on him, Jack."

"Well it would be nice if we had some suggestions on motels or hotels we can stay at while we're in town," Yusei began, "Preferably starting with ones located near the local courthouse."

"You guys came here because of the Lipschitz trial, didn't you?" Dil asked with his fists on his hips as he looked at the guys with a knowing look.

"You know about it?" Yusei asked.

"It's all my mom's been focusing on for the past few days," Dil began in a tone of complaint, "She's been organizing as much support as she can for that fraud. I actually skimmed through some of Lipschitz's books that he wrote, and after that I thought to myself, 'Who in their right mind would believe in this tripe? No wonder people think I'm weird, if my mom raised me based off of what she gleamed from these books!'."

"Now young man," Kalin said, "Your mother had your best intentions in mind when she referenced Dr. Lipschitz's books for tips."

"Yeah, right," Dil replied in a sarcastic tone, "My mother had my best intentions in mind when she read those books. And I'm the High Queen-Duchess of Charleston Chews."

"Sarcasm is unbecoming of you, young man," Kalin said in a mildly firm tone.

"Your face in unbecoming of you," Dil retorted.

"See?" Crow said to the guys as he gestured to Dil, "I told you that Dil is a cool dude that we can count on." The other guys could only shake their heads as Crow and Dil high-fived each other.

* * *

Later, Yusei and the other guys were at the house where Dil's family lived, having been invited over by Dil himself. "You guys can crash here while you're staying in the city if you'd like," Dil said as he led the guys inside, "We've got an extra bedroom here, not to mention the den, and there's also the basement if it comes down to it."

"It's generous that you're offering to let us crash here, but won't your parents object?" Yusei asked rhetorically.

"My dad's away on some sort of business thing, and my mom's staying with some friends as they're working on their support for Lipschitz," Dil explained, "That basically means that my brother, our Grandpa Lou and I have the place to ourselves."

"Won't your Grandfather object then?" Yusei asked.

"Pfft, dude, Lou and I are both chill with each other," Crow said, "He'll be fine with us staying here."

"To give you guys fair warning, Grandpa Lou isn't all that fond of Lipschitz," Dil pointed out in a tone of mild warning, "But then again, the feeling's mutual from what I've heard."

"So, he'll be an ally," Crow remarked, "Good."

"No, Crow, that's bad," Kalin corrected, "We're aiming to prove that Lipchitz is innocent."

Crow was about to argue, but the front door opened, with a male voice calling out, "I'm home, Grandpa Lou!"

"He's not home, Tommy!" Dil replied when he turned to face the direction of the front door.

"Then where is he, Di-" the male voice replied, but stopped short when the owner of the voice, a young boy somewhat older than Dil, walked into the living room. This boy had darkish-colored hair, wore a white shirt with blue long sleeved, jeans, and a pair of high-top sneakers. Taking off his backpack and setting it on the floor, the boy pointed to Yusei and the others and said in a mildly confused tone, "Who are you guys and what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Tommy," Dil said, "This is my friend Crow and his roommates." To the guys, Dil said, "Guys, this is my older brother Tommy."

"I'm sorry if us being here gave you a fright," Yusei apologized, "But your brother decided to offer us a place to crash here while we're in town for the Lipchitz trial."

"Do you want him to be found guilty, yes or no?" Tommy asked.

"Crow is yes, Kalin is no, and Jack and I couldn't care less," Yusei explained, with the other guys all nodding in agreement.

After looking at the guys for a few seconds, Tommy gave a resigned sounding sigh. "Well, if you're Dil's friends, then I suppose there's no harm being done," Tommy remarked, "So long as you all try not to cause any trouble while you're here. Also, I'm working on another film, so it'd be great if you all volunteered to play some roles. I'm always short a few people."

"Film?" Jack repeated in a tone that was three parts curious, seven parts confused.

"Oh yeah, my brother is something of an amateur director," Dil explained, "In fact, he's working on a film that he intends to enter into an upcoming film festival."

"The last time I entered a film festival, the film I made lost to a murder mystery slash comedy made by some woman named Carly Carmine," Tommy remarked, "But then again, she clearly had a very huge budget, if she could get ahold of things such as a high-quality fat suit."

"Which are a pain in the rear to put on, given how much time it takes," Crow added.

"So, if you guys are going to be staying here, try not to make a mess," Tommy said to Yusei and the others, "Also, you guys are going to have to decide among yourselves where to sleep. You all can't take up my parents' room for obvious reasons, and me and Dil's grandpa is staying in the extra bedroom. That'll leave the den, the living room and the basement."

"D'oh!" Dil exclaimed, "I forgot the extra bedroom's off limits because grandpa's using it while he's here!" To Crow, Dil said, "Sorry about that, man."

"Oh, it happens to the best of us," Crow replied in an understanding tone.

"So, it's agreed," Yusei said, "The guys and I will be staying here while we're in town for the Lipschitz trial."

"Just make sure you guys can cover getting food for yourselves," Tommy said, "I'm pretty sure my mom wouldn't like it if strangers came in and ate our food."

"That didn't stop her from feeding Lipschitz," Dil muttered to himself in an annoyed tone as he crossed his arms, "Those frosted strawberry pop tarts were mine. Fat fucking bastard."

* * *

Later, Yusei and the other guys were in the garage of the Pickles' residence, where Tommy had set up some sort of movie set; upon him and the guys entering the garage and seeing the set along with some neatly folded costumes laying on a table off to the side, Yusei deduced that Tommy was aiming to make some sort of mystery movie. "Okay, you guys wait here with Dil while I go get the extra script copies," Tommy said before turning around and heading back into the house.

"I hope you guys like mystery movies," Dil said to the guys while Tommy was gone, "Because that's what my older brother is aiming to make this time."

"Well that much is obvious," Yusei remarked as he looked to where the costumes were at.

"Yeah, Tommy's still a bit upset about his film losing to the film that Carly Carmine woman made," Dil remarked, "Heck, I bet the reason why he's aiming to make a mystery film this time is because Carmine's film was a mystery. I'm guessing that he's trying to bank on the success of the film that beat his previous work."

"Would now be a bad time to mention that not only is my roommate Jack dating the woman whose film beat your brother's film," Crow began, "But that my girlfriend Brianna and I were both actors in Carly's film?"

With an indifferent shrug of his shoulders, Dil replied, "Meh, I couldn't care less about that. Although I did win a bet with Tommy's friend Chucky about whether or not Tommy's film would win." To Crow, Dil added, "I guess that means I owe you one, dude."

"By all means, take your time," Crow said, "We've got bigger fish to fry if you think about it, so let's focus on that."

"Sorry it took me so long," Tommy said as he walked back into the garage. Handing each of the guys and Dil a copy of the script, Tommy said, "You'll find the name of the character you're playing on the cover of your respective script copy, so let's start by going over the scene that starts halfway down page five."

"I've always fancied myself as something of a thespian," Jack remarked as he flipped his copy of the script open.

* * *

Later, the guys, Dil and Tommy went to the Java Lava Coffee Shop, a local coffee shop in the city. "This looks like one of those quaint family-owned deals," Kalin remarked as he and everyone else walked into the coffee shop, "I bet Dukey would have loved to have come here."

"The parents of Tommy's friend Chuckie own this place, actually," Dil remarked as the group looked around.

Inhaling through his nose in order to smell the aromas coming from where the coffee was being made, Kalin said, "Oh, this place smells like-"

"No way, dude," an older female voice called out in a pleasantly surprised manner, "Crow Hogan, is that you, my man?"

Having heard someone call out to Crow, the group all looked to the counter where the owner of the voice, an adult woman, was standing. She had brown hair which was straight, wore a bluish headband over her head, a blue shirt (with rolled-up sleeves) under a white work apron, and green earrings. "You son of a gun, I haven't seen you in ages!" the woman said as she waved to Crow, getting him to walk over.

"I see your hair is no longer all curly and whatnot, Betty," Crow remarked as he offered the woman a fist-bump, which the woman accepted right away.

"Ehh, I decided to go back to my original 'do after I heard one too many people here at the shop whisper that my hair looked like the butt of a brown poodle," the woman, who was apparently named Betty, replied, "What brings you and your group here to town?"

"The Lipschitz trial," Crow said in a somewhat grim tone, "Given the dude's rep in his field, there will undoubtedly be a media circus. Personally, I'm hoping the bastard crashes and burns."

"Amen to that, my man!" Betty replied as she and Crow high-fived.

"Crow, you know this woman?" Yusei asked as he, Jack, Kalin, Dil and Tommy came walking up.

"Oh dudes," Crow said as he turned to face his roommates, "This here is another pal of mine who lives here in the city. Say hello to Betty DeVille."

"I wasn't aware that you knew Phil and Lil's mom," Tommy remarked to Crow.

"I did," Dil commented. (3)

"Wait, did you just say that you actually agree with Crow about hoping that Dr. Lipschitz is found guilty?" Kalin asked in a mildly alarmed tone as he pointed to Betty.

"I never really liked that Lipschitz prick all that much," Betty remarked with an indifferent shrug, "Like some dude that has a fancy sheet of paper that says he's really smart knows how to raise kids better than the kids' parents, especially the mother who gave birth to those kids! I mean, seriously! Does the prick even know what it's like to give birth? I'd like to see him try to handle a pair of newborn twins for eleven days straight! With no sleep, no coffee, and no football on TV!"

"Let him burn!" Dil exclaimed.

"Hells yeah!" Betty agreed as she and Dil high-fived each other.

"You see, Mrs. DeVille?" Tommy remarked, "It's stuff like that which made me and Dil's mom not want to ask you to join her and the others organizing defense for Dr. Lipschitz."

"Ehh, I would have turned her down if she did ask me," Betty said with another indifferent shrug of her shoulders.

"Can we do what we came here to do now?" Kalin asked, "You know, get some coffee?"

"Oh yeah, how could we forget?" Yusei remarked. To Betty, Yusei said, "My friends and I would like to order some coffee now, please."

"Well then, boys, take a look at the menu," Betty replied as she jerked a thumb over her shoulder, "We've got all sorts of coffee options for your morning pick-me-up needs. We've got choices for days!"

"Choices for days?" Jack repeated in a mildly confused tone.

"Choices for days," Betty replied in a confirming tone.

* * *

After the guys and the Pickles brothers spent some time at the Java Lava, they returned to the garage of the Pickles residence to resume work on the latest film that Tommy was making. They were working on a scene where they came upon the scene of the crime, a murder where Dil, who was playing the role of the victim, laid on the floor under a white sheet. Kalin was playing the role of the detective, and Jack was playing the role of the owner of the manor where the murder took place.

"So, Mr. Brownmore," Kalin said as he and Jack were in character, "Tell me how you are familiar with the victim."

"Stewart was my nephew, who I took in after my sister and her husband were killed in a car crash," Jack replied, his tone sounding as firm but upset as he could manage, "As I myself lack any children, I was planning on making Stewart my heir. But with his death, I…I have no idea what to-"

Jack was cut off when Dil got up, causing the sheet that was covering him to fall off. "Cut!" Tommy yelled as he paused his video camera from filming, "Dil, you're supposed to be playing the role of a murder victim. Murder victims don't get up and move around!"

"Unless they become some sort of undead," Dil retorted, "Besides, I need to take a piss."

"Calls of nature trump pretending to be dead," Crow defended from where he and Yusei stood off to the side.

Sighing in a mildly defeated tone, Tommy remarked, "Fine. We'll take a break from filming." Setting his video camera on a table in the garage, Tommy then turned to face the others and said, "It's about time we got something to eat for lunch anyway."

Later, the guys and the Pickles brothers were in the kitchen, eating pizza that Crow had ordered. On the recommendation of Dil, Crow ordered a couple of pizzas. Yusei was wondering why Dil would recommend ordering multiple pizzas when two at most should have been enough to satisfy six people, but he got his answer when the doorbell rang. "Yo, I'll get it," Crow said as he got up and went over to the front door.

When a somewhat nasally-sounding male voice cried out, "Who are you?" when Crow answered the door a few seconds later, Tommy got up and went over to the door. A few seconds after that, Crow and Tommy led a group of kids approximately Tommy's age back to the kitchen area.

The first kid of the group was a boy with somewhat wild-looking orange-red hair and very fair skin with some freckles. He wore purple-colored square-framed glasses, a light blue short-sleeved button on shirt over a long-sleeved yellow shirt, greenish pants and red sneakers. The second kid of the group was a girl who seemed to have some sort of Asian heritage. This girl had fair skin, black hair kept mostly in a bun, and wore a pink shirt with yellow sleeves, a green skirt, and purple boots. The girl also had a hairclip in her hair along the right side of her head, and she kept a pair of chopsticks in her hair bun.

The third kid of the group was, like the first kid, another boy. This boy had fair skin and brown hair, and he wore a yellow t-shirt, a pair of cargo pants, and bluish sneakers. The fourth kid of the group was a girl with fair skin and somewhat long brown hair that had a pink streak in it. She wore a pink shirt whose sleeved ended halfway down her forearms, a green camo skirt with pockets on the sides, socks that made it halfway up the girl's shins, and white and purple shoes. Thanks to his experience in helping to raise Leo and Luna, Yusei could tell full well that kid number three and kid number four were twins.

The fifth kid was a girl who seemed somewhat older than most of the other kids, Tommy and Dil included. This girl had fair skin and straight, yellow-blonde hair that at least reached the top of her shoulders. She wore a pink tank-top over a long-sleeved lavender shirt, a light purple skirt that goes down just past her knees, a turquoise-colored belt around her waist (the belt wasn't supporting anything; it was most likely worn as an ornament of sorts), and purple sandals.

The sixth and final kid of the group was another girl who looked to be roughly the same age as the fifth kid. This girl had light brownish skin, denoting African American heritage. She wore her brown hair in box braids that were each adorned with colorful beads, a bandana that kept her hair from flying around in her face, a white and pink diagonal-striped shirt under a purple jacket that was open in the front, blue jeans and red shoes.

"Hey Dil," the Asian-looking girl began, "Tommy told us that you were the one who invited these older guys over. Are you sure that inviting over a couple of guys that are all look to be roughly twice your age is a good idea?"

"Relax, Kimi," Dil replied in an assuring tone, "They're only here because of the Lipschitz trial." Gesturing to Crow, Dil added, "Besides, Crow here is not only a good friend of mine, but he's also one of Mrs. DeVille's most trusted associates."

"It's true," the male twin remarked while the female twin nodded in agreement, "Mr. Hogan is a close friend of me and Lil's mom."

"I still don't think that this is a good idea," the Asian-looking girl said in an unsure tone.

"Chill your tits, Chun-Li," Jack scolded, "It's not like the guys and I are going to rob the place!"

With an annoyed look on her face, the Asian-looking girl said in a mildly huffy tone, "I'm Japanese, you ass." (4)

"Fine then," Jack retorted, "Chill your tits, Ibuki." This only drew an annoyed growl out of the Japanese girl.

"I take it that these are friends of yours and your brother's?" Yusei asked when he turned to face Tommy.

Nodding in the affirmative, Tommy said to Yusei, "My pal with the orange hair is Chuckie, the girl your blonde friend is ticking off is Chuckie's sister Kimi, the twins are Phil and Lil, the girl with blonde hair is me and Dil's older cousin Angelica, and the last one is Susie."

"We're here to help Tommy with his latest film," Chuckie said, then added in a mildly confused tone as he gently shook his head, "It still beats me how Tommy's film that he entered in the recent film festival lost to that Carly Carmine woman's film."

"She probably had a much bigger budget, which allowed her to spring for higher quality costumes and props," Jack remarked.

"Oh yeah, did you guys hear about the latest development in the Lipschitz trial?" Angelica began.

"Wait a minute," Susie said, "Angelica, why do you know about recent developments in that trial? I thought you couldn't care less about it."

"I know about it because it's all my Aunt Didi talks about," Angelica replied, "Anywho, from what I heard, there's at least a seventy-five percent chance that he'll be acquitted."

"Fuck, you have got to be kidding me!" Crow remarked, smacking himself in the forehead, "There's at least a three out of four chance that he'll get off scot free?"

"Well, I might as well pack to move to Canada," Dil remarked with a shrug.

"Canada is one of the countries where the local parents are most reliant on Dr. Lipschitz's books for parenting advice," Tommy pointed out.

"Fine, I'll pack to move to Mexico!" Dil replied.

"Look, doofuses," Angelica said as most of the other kids started to worry, "There's still a fair chance that the windbag will be thrown in the slammer."

"With me and Tommy's mom being one of the main supporters of getting Lipschitz off?" Dil retorted.

"…A _somewhat_ fair chance," Angelica said, correcting herself.

"You kids are blowing things out of proportion here," Kalin said in a mildly admonishing tone, "I mean, there is no way that Dr. Lipschitz is as bad as you're making him out to be."

"He clogged the toilet when he was over at me and Chuckie's family's place," Kimi stated.

"He very nearly made some racist remarks towards my family a few times when he was over at my family's place because my mom and Mrs. Pickles brought him by," Susie said.

"The fat fucking bastard ate my s'mores flavored pop tarts when he was over at my family's place," Angelica remarked, clearly looking annoyed.

"He ate your pop tarts, too?" Dil said, looking at his older cousin with a pained, sympathetic look on his face.

Nodding in the affirmative, Angelica replied, "I'd tell you more, but it's something of a personal matter for me." (5)

"This is a travesty that cannot be allowed to go unpunished!" Crow exclaimed, "In the name of all of the brave pop tarts that lost their lives to that balding son of a bitch, we must do all in our power to keep him from getting off for his crimes!"

"Granted, it's kind of unnerving for me to find out that Dr. Lipschitz is something of a mooch," Kalin remarked, "But we need to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he really is guilty of the crimes that he's been charged with before we jump to any conclusions!"

"Me and Dil's mom didn't make sure of anything before jumping to that guy's defense," Tommy remarked, "And with all that she's done for him so far, chances are that he'll get a not guilty verdict, which would let him go on pushing more of his nonsense on parents all over the nation."

"Then there is only one solution," Crow said in a somewhat grim tone, one that sounded like Crow knew what he had to do.

"We're going to try and talk things out like rational adults?" Yusei asked.

"Yusei," Crow replied as he turned to face his roommate and friend, "That has got to be one of the dumbest things I ever heard come out of your mouth."

Leaning to his side to whisper to Kalin, Jack whispered, "It's speaks volumes of Birdbrain's character that he thinks trying to talk things out like rational adults is a dumb idea." Kalin only nodded in agreement.

* * *

Later, as Yusei and the other guys were out picking up some grindage in Yusei's Volkswagen van, Yusei said, "So Crow, what do you think is the only solution we have to the problem concerning Lipschitz?"

"Simple," Crow replied in a casual tone, "We must-" Crow was cut off when Yusei cried out in alarm and slammed down on the brakes. When the other three guys looked out the window, they saw why Yusei tried to stop the Volkswagen so suddenly; Yusei had, unfortunately, just sent a woman flying by hitting her with his van.

Parking the Volkswagen, Yusei got out and was followed by the other guys over to where the woman landed on the sidewalk. When they got to where the woman laid, Yusei and the others noticed a few things about her. One, she was a fair skinned woman with orange hair. Two, she wore square-lensed glasses with a green frame, golden-colored earrings, a pink blouse whose sleeved ended halfway down her forearms, a purple skirt that ended halfway down her shins, white socks and maroon shoes.

Three, the woman was very clearly dead.

"Shit!" Yusei exclaimed, "I just killed a person by ramming them with my van! I can't go to prison! I have a wife who's got a child on the way!"

"Yusei, Yusei, relax," Crow said in a calming manner, "Leave everything to me. I just need you to move your Volkswagen van over to the other side of the street and park it there." Panicking due to having just hit and killed someone with his Volkswagen, Yusei did as Crow said without questioning anything. After Yusei was done, he got out of his car as he saw Crow break into someone else's car for some reason.

Apparently, Crow hotwired the car he broke into and drove it over to where Yusei had previously parked his Volkswagen. After Crow cleaned up any signs that he had used the car, he got out and said to the guys, "Now everyone will think that whoever owns this car had hit and killed the woman."

"As much as I'd hate to see Yusei go to prison," Jack remarked, "I seriously doubt that this plan of yours to get Yusei off the hook will work, Birdbrain."

* * *

Later that evening, the guys were all back at the Pickles residence with Tommy, Dil, and all of their friends. They were in the living room, gathered around as a news broadcast played on the TV. "Breaking news," the news castor said, "Child psychologist Dr. Werner P. Lipschitz, who is on trial for fraud, child negligence and child endangerment, has just recently been charged with vehicular manslaughter, after it was discovered that his car had hit and killed local woman Didi Pickles. The deceased had been one of the leading members of Lipschitz's defense concerning his other charges. Werner Lipschitz's trial had been moved to next week Wednesday. And now onto the weather. Tom?"

As Lil changed the channel, Crow remarked, "Woah. I didn't see that coming." (6)

"I still can't believe Aunt Didi is gone," Angelica said as she shook her head. To her cousins, Angelica said in a mildly somber tone, "Boys, I am so sorry that this happened to you. Give me a holler if you need anything, alright?"

"Thanks, Angelica," Dil replied as he wiped a tear from his eye, "That means a lot. She may have been a little crazy for following that quack's advice like it was the gospel, but she was still me and Tommy's mom, you know?"

"Well, I can bloody well say for certain that the so-called 'doctor' won't be getting out of this one anytime soon," Jack remarked as he made his way out to the kitchen to grab a slice of pizza leftover from lunch earlier, "Now if you all will excuse me, I'm going to head out into the kitchen to grab one of the leftover slices of pizza from lunch earlier. All of the running around the guys and I did earlier kind of made me a bit peckish."

"Hey man, Mrs. Pickles was just killed," Kimi said to Jack in a scolding tone, "Try and show a little bit more sympathy, would you?"

"I'm sorry, but pizza trumps saying something to someone that they'll be hearing from everyone over the next week to week and a half," Jack retorted in a mildly annoyed tone, "They'll get over it eventually, Makoto." (7)

"That's it!" Kimi exclaimed angrily as she got up and stood a few feet from Jack. Facing the blonde turbo duelist, Kimi exclaimed as she struck some sort of martial arts pose, "Kakugo wa yoi ka! Isshun sengeki!" The Japanese girl then seemingly glided over to Jack without breaking out of her pose, and when she got close enough to him, the entirety of the room went pitch black, which alarmed most of the people in the room, especially Chuckie.

Then, twenty-seven flashes of light blinked in and out almost instantaneously while Jack cried out in pain. After that, the pitch blackness faded, and the lighting in the room returned to normal. When the lighting returned to normal, everyone saw Jack lying on the floor at Kimi's feet. Just loud enough for everyone to hear her, Kimi said, "Korezo…messatsu…" (8)

Alarmed to see that Jack wasn't breathing or moving, Yusei got up, ran over, and bent down to check for a pulse. "Jack's dead," Yusei said. Getting up, Yusei looked to Kimi and said, "What exactly did you do to Jack? I mean, what happened?!"

"Well isn't it obvious, Yusei?" Crow said in a knowing tone as everyone turned to face him, "Kimi's wrath of the raging demon just devoured Jack's soul."

END, CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Author's notes

(1) I couldn't find a definite name for the town/city that 'All grown up' takes place in, so I went for the name of the junior high school that the main characters attend, since Yusei and company will be heading over there at some point.

(2) This is the look that most people give Crow most of the time.

(3) Crow gets together with Dil and Betty every so often to play poker. Dil usually wins.

(4) Anyone with a reasonable amount of knowledge on Street Fighter would know full well that Chun-Li is Chinese.

(5) Dr. Lipschitz ate all of Angelica's s'mores flavored pop tarts on the day that Angelica started her very first…lady time.

(6) Crow just grabbed the first vehicle he spotted, not knowing or caring who owned it.

(7) Suddenly, something in Kimi's head went 'snap'.

(8) Another master of the fist has been born this day.

Well chapter thirteen is done and over with. Although thirteen is usually considered an unlucky number, there are some people who believe that thirteen is actually quite lucky. My sister told me about this, and after some research on the internet, I was amused to see that she was right. I'll leave it up to everyone else on if they consider thirteen lucky or not.

Oh, and by the way, Yusei and the guys will be heading to Sheltered Shrubs in the next chapter.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter fourteen: Yusei and friends do Sheltered Shrubs

Akiza Fudo (nee Izinski) was sitting in the living room of the Atlas penthouse, which was located in New Domino City, a suburb located in San Francisco, California. Akiza, who is currently carrying Yusei Fudo's child, was having a baby shower to celebrate the upcoming bundle of joy. The guests that Akiza had were quite varied; in addition to Akiza's friend Carly Carmine and Kalin Kessler's talking dog best friend Dukey, Akiza had Starfire, Betty DeVille and Ghoulia Yelps over for the baby shower.

"Do you know if it a boy or a girl?" Betty asked as she gave Akiza a friendly pat on the back, "Or if it's only one?"

"Yusei and I don't know what gender the child will be, as we want to be surprised," Akiza replied, "But the ultrasound did confirm it was only one."

"I was told that on earth, it is a tradition for those invited to a baby shower to bestow gifts upon the expecting mother," Starfire said as she picked up a wrapped gift and handed it to Akiza, "This is a joint gift from me and Raven, who could not attend as she had pressing business."

Ghoulia made some moaning sounds as she herself picked up a wrapped gift and handed it to Akiza. Smiling, the expecting mother said, "Thanks for the gifts, girls. Oh, and Starfire, can you tell Raven that I said thanks to her as well?"

"I would be glad to," Starfire replied with a nod.

"Oh, Akiza," Dukey said as he picked up a wrapped gift and handed it to Akiza, "This is a joint gift from me and Kalin."

"Speaking of Kalin, where is he?" Akiza asked in a curious tone, "I invited both him and you."

"Yusei and Jack had to take him on something that they didn't clarify for me all that much," Dukey explained, a mildly confused look on his face.

Ghoulia made some moaning noises which Dukey nodded in agreement to as he is apparently fluent in the zombie language. However, unbeknownst Ghoulia and everyone else at the baby shower, Ghoulia was being viewed through the crosshairs of a PGM Ultima Ratio Hecate II. (1) The powerful sniper rifle was located on the roof of a three-story building across the street from the Atlas penthouse, being handled by penthouse resident Crow Hogan.

"That's it…" Crow said quietly as he got the crosshairs centered on Ghoulia's head, "Stay still for just a few more seconds, you zombie son of a b-" Crow was cut off when his cell phone went off in his pocket. Growling with mild annoyance, Crow reached into his pocket, pulled out his smartphone and answered the call.

"Talk to me," Crow spoke into the phone, "…Oh, hey Yusei! Yeah, you kind of caught me at a bad time. …What do you mean I have to meet you, Jack and Kalin outside the local family owned donut shop pronto? I'm in the middle of work! …My work is classified, dude. …Dude, I am so totally working!" Crow then looked through the scope of his PGM Ultima Ratio Hecate II and saw that Ghoulia had apparently vanished.

Sighing in an annoyed tone, Crow said into the phone, "Fine, I'll meet you guys at the donut shop. Just give me a few minutes to gather my gear I got with me." Turning off his phone, Crow slipped it into his pocket and got up, collected his sniper rifle and various other items he brought with him, and turned to leave. " _Goddamn it_ , _Yusei_ ," Crow thought as he made his way down the stairwell of the building he was on the roof of, " _You just_ had _to catch me while I was working_."

* * *

Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas and Kalin Kessler, the other three guys who lived at the Atlas penthouse, were sitting at an outdoor table on the property of the local family owned donut shop. As the three guys waited, Crow came walking up to them. "You're lucky I'm really good at hiding weapons on my person, Yusei," Crow remarked, "So anywho, why did you summon me here?"

"Something big happened, and I wanted all three of you here before I told any of you about it," Yusei explained, "There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to get it out of the way." Sighing, Yusei said, "I got a call from the prison that Akiza's father, who is my father-in-law, was being kept at. I was informed that Mr. Izinski was killed in a prison riot yesterday afternoon sometime shortly before six in the evening local time." Hearing this news shocked the guys.

"Bloody hell, Yusei," Jack remarked in a sympathetic tone, "I am so sorry about that."

"He never got to see his first grandchild," Kalin remarked in a sad tone as he gently shook his head, "That just isn't fair."

"If the man had been willing to listen to me when I tried to offer him tips on prison riots, then he might still be alive," Crow remarked, "I mean, I've been in more than my fair share of prison riots, so I know all the tricks of the trade."

"…That's makes _way_ too much sense," Jack commented in a deadpan tone.

"So, what are you going to do now, Yusei?" Kalin asked.

"We have to go to the prison where Mr. Izinski was being kept at," Yusei began, "He had a few things that were confiscated from him when he was brought in. The prison officer who called me said that, as Mr. Izinski was my in-law, I would be allowed to collect the possessions."

"Well alright then," Jack said, "So we head to the New Domino Prison, which Birdbrain most likely has a summer home at, and pick up the few worldly possessions that Akiza's father had on his person when he was brought in."

"Mr. Izinski wasn't being kept at the New Domino Prison," Yusei explained, "It couldn't take Mr. Izinski at the time, so he was sent to the first prison that was willing to take him. It helps that it was also the least expensive option at the time as well."

"Where was Mr. Izinski sent to, Yusei?" Kalin asked.

"A prison located in Sheltered Shrubs," Yusei replied.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Jack interrupted, "Hold the bloody fucking phone just one minute." Looking Yusei right in the face, Jack said, "Are you telling me that Akiza's father was sent to a prison all the way over in fucking Sheltered Shrubs?!"

"What's the big deal, Jack?" Crow asked.

"Sheltered Shrubs is a town located over in Connecticut, Birdbrain," Jack clarified in an annoyed tone, "And we live here in fucking California!" Turning to face Yusei, Jack asked, "Are we at least going to fly there?"

"We have to drive cross country, Jack," Yusei replied, "Crow's on the no-fly list, remember?"

"Can't we use the Silver Manta Ray?" Kalin asked, "I mean, we still have that, right?"

A dawning look of realization appeared across the faces of Yusei, Jack and Crow. "Why didn't we think of that?" Jack asked rhetorically as he smacked himself in the forehead.

"How about we try the Golden Tiger Claws?" Crow suggested, "We can just create a portal by tearing a hole in the fabric of space in front of us, drive into it, and come out on the other end in Sheltered Shrubs. Not only is it faster, but we'll also have Yusei's Volkswagen van as a bonus, which means we won't have to rely on taxis or rental cars while we're in town."

A mildly socked look on his face, Jack turned to face Yusei and said, "My god, Yusei. I can't believe that Birdbrain actually had a good idea."

"So, it's agreed then," Yusei declared as he stood up from the table he sat at with Jack and Kalin, "We'll drive slash teleport to Sheltered Shrubs, handle any business concerning Mr. Izinski's passing, then return home."

"Should we bring anything other than the Golden Tiger Claws?" Crow asked, "I was thinking that my usual gear could be of great-"

"As long as you leave it all somewhere safe before we head over to the local prison in Sheltered Shrubs to handle the business concerning Mr. Izinski, then I couldn't care less what you bring," Yusei interrupted. Clapping his hands together, Yusei said, "Alright, guys, let's head back to the penthouse, gather what we'll be needing, then it's off to Sheltered Shrubs!"

* * *

A short while later, a tear appeared in the fabric of space in an empty parking lot somewhere in Sheltered Shrubs, Connecticut. Yusei's Volkswagen van drove out of the tear and into the parking lot before the tear faded. When the van parked in the parking lot, Yusei and the others got out. "Okay, boys," Yusei said as he and the others stood outside of the van, "Even though it was roughly noon or so when we left New Domino, keep in mind that we're in a different time zone now."

"So, what's the bloody time, Yusei?" Jack asked.

Shrugging his shoulders, Yusei said, "I have no fucking clue, dude." Pointing out a nearby convenience store, Yusei said, "I'm pretty sure someone working there can tell us. We also need to buy some drinks and grindage, so it's killing two birds with one stone." (2)

Yusei and the guys made their way over to the convenience store that Yusei pointed out. While Jack and Crow were going about gathering grindage they were going to buy, Yusei and Kalin talked to the clerk at the counter. "It's about three in the afternoon, sirs," (3) the clerk replied, "Why do you ask?"

"We're still trying to adjust to the change in time zone," Kalin explained, "My friends and I came here from California."

"Yeesh!" the clerk remarked, "That much driving must have been a pain in the ass."

"Meh, it wasn't as bad as you'd think," Yusei replied with a shrug.

* * *

After the guys paid for their drinks and grindage, they went back over to where Yusei parked the Volkswagen van. As Crow downed a bottle of some orange-flavored sports drink, Yusei ended a call on his smartphone before slipping it into his pocket. "Okay, that was the prison I was talking to just now," Yusei explained, "We can't go visit the prison to pick up Mr. Izinski's things today, so we'll have to find a motel to crash at for the night and look into visiting the prison first thing in the morning."

Before any of the other guys could say anything, a dog's barking caught them off guard, getting them to turn in the direction they heard the barking come from. As such, they saw a fairly large dog with darkish fur come running up to them. It tackled Crow to the ground, making the broom-headed turbo duelist land on his butt, before it proceeded to lick Crow's face, pressing its slobbery jowls into the side of Crow's face as it did so.

"Whoa, easy there, boy," Crow laughed in a good-natured tone as it tried to push the dog away.

"Whose dog is this?" Jack asked as he gestured to the dog that was showing playful doggy affection to Crow. Jack got his answer a few seconds later when a young male child came running up to the guys. The boy had orange-reddish hair, wore a dark brown long-sleeved shirt with a yellow silhouette of a spider approximately in the center, greenish pants with yellow stripes going down the outer sides of the legs, and tan colored shoes. The boy was carrying a dog leash.

"Thanks for catching Monster for me, Crow," the boy said as he reattached the one end of the leash to the dog's collar.

"Young man, although this dog is rather large, it's not necessarily a monster," Kalin remarked.

"No, sir," the boy said as he turned to look at Kalin, "My dog's name is Monster." Turning to face Crow again, the boy said, "You know these guys, my man?"

"He knows you, Birdbrain?" Jack asked.

"Oh yeah," Crow replied as he got up. Gesturing to the boy, Crow said, "Dudes, this is Carl Foutley. He and I have done business together multiple time in the past." Gesturing to the large dog that Carl held the leash of, Crow continued, "And as Carl just said, this is apparently his dog Monster. As friendly as he is big."

"You've done work with this kid in the past?" Yusei said in a confused tone, "What kind of work is it?"

"Classified," Crow and Carl said in unison. Turning to face Crow, Carl said, "So Crow my man, what brings you and your associates here to Sheltered Shrubs?"

"Oh Carl, these are my roommates Yusei, Jack and Kalin," Crow said as he gestured to the other guys in appropriate order, "We came here because Yusei's father-in-law was killed in a prison riot at the local prison here, and there's some final affairs-related business he has to handle, including picking up a few things that Mr. Izinski had on hand when he was brought in."

"Izinski, huh?" Carl replied as he held a hand to his chin while wearing a look of consideration on his face, "Not a name I'm familiar with."

"My father-in-law would have originally gone to a prison in me and my roommate's home city of San Francisco," Yusei explained, "But the prison there couldn't take him at the time, so they decided to bring him to the prison located here in your home city."

"You said prison riot, right?" Carl asked. After Yusei and the other guys nodded in the affirmative, Carl said, "I remember hearing about a prison riot occurring yesterday. But you guys said you come from San Francisco. How did you all get here so quickly?"

"This," Crow explained as he held up the Golden Tiger Claws, "It lets you teleport yourself anywhere in the world."

Taking the Golden Tiger Claws from Crow, Carl examined the Shen Gong Wu for a few seconds before returning it to Crow. "Interesting," Carl remarked, "Can you show me how it works?"

Nodding in understanding, Crow used the Golden Tiger Claws to tear a hole in the fabric of space. Crow jumped into the hole, which then disappeared. A few seconds later, another tear appeared about a hundred feet away from the others. The others watched as Crow jumped out of this tear and came running up to them. "And it's not limited by distance," Crow stated when he met up with the others again, "Also, this isn't the only cool magical object the guys and I own."

"Impressive," Carl remarked in a casual tone, sounding a lot less excited than what most people should show after having just witnessed teleportation.

"So anywho, I don't suppose you can tell us where the local motel or hotel is at here in Sheltered Shrubs, can you?" Yusei asked. Gesturing to himself and the other guys, Yusei explained, "We can't go to the prison today to handle my late father-in-law's things, so we need a place to stay while we're here in Sheltered Shrubs."

"Why not crash at my place?" Carl offered, "Crow's a good friend of mine, and anyone Crow is friends with gets a pass from me."

"That is awfully generous of you, dude," Crow replied, "But shouldn't we clear this with your mom first? Also, wouldn't your family's house be a bit cramped if my roommates and I stayed at chez Foutley?"

"My mom just got remarried," Carl explained, "She and my new step-dad, Dr. Dave, just left on their honeymoon to Omaha. They'll be gone for at least a week."

"Won't things still be a bit crowded at your family's house, though?" Yusei asked.

"Pfft, no way, dude," Carl replied, "My mom, my older sister and I moved into Dr. Dave's place, which is a bit more spacious than our old house."

"How much more spacious?" Jack asked, his tone sounding suspicious of the young boy in front of him. (4)

…

Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin all looked up at the large, stately two-story home in the more exclusive neighborhood of Sheltered Shrubs. "Damn, son!" Crow exclaimed in an impressed tone, "Looks like the Foutley clan has moved right on up!"

"I'm not one to brag," Carl replied as he and Monster led the guys into the house.

Walking inside, Yusei said, "So your parents aren't even home? Who's watching you and that sister of yours that you mentioned?"

"My sister is watching me," Carl explained, "She's in high school now, so my mom thinks she's old enough to look after me for an extended period of time."

"In a house like this, keeping an eye on you may prove to be tough for her," Kalin remarked, "I hope you aren't giving her any trouble."

"I only give her trouble if she gives me trouble," Carl said casually.

"Amen to that, brother!" Crow said as he and Carl high-fived each other.

"Speaking of your sister, where the bloody hell is she?" Jack asked as he looked around the living room in mild wonder.

"She's at a thing doing a thing with a thing," Carl replied with a shrug, "I don't know! I'm her little brother, dude, not her fucking keeper!"

"So, you're here home alone?" Yusei asked.

"No," Carl replied, "I am here with my dog Monster and four trustworthy adults."

"He's right, you know," Crow said to the blonde turbo duelist.

Facepalming, Jack remarked, "I'm not even going to bloody bother."

* * *

Later, Yusei and the guys were eating pizza that they ordered with Carl and Monster in the kitchen of the Dave-Foutley residence. "Oh!" Crow exclaimed, "Now I remember!"

"Remember what, Crow?" Kalin asked.

"This is the exclusive neighborhood of Sheltered Shrubs, you know," Crow explained, "This is where the Griplings live!"

"The Griplings?" Yusei repeated in a confused tone while Carl calmly sipped from a cup of soda he was drinking from.

"They're, like, the wealthiest people living in Sheltered Shrubs," Crow explained, "Why, there was this one time several months back when some friends of mine and I had a job involving-"

"They don't live in this neighborhood anymore," Carl interrupted in a calm tone before taking another sip of his drink.

Regarding his good associate with a confused look, Crow asked, "What are you talking about, little dude?"

"The Griplings," Carl reiterated, "They no longer live in this neighborhood. Mr. Gripling was arrested for insider trading. As such, the Griplings were forced to liquidate their assets to cover various expenses. They now live in the house my mom, older sister and I used to live in."

"…Wow," Jack remarked, "Talk about the mighty falling."

"Meh," Crow replied with an indifferent shrug, "I've been arrested for worse."

"Blake Gripling, whose presence I cannot stand," Carl continued, "Says that his family still has ownership of a very large fortune hidden somewhere in the old Gripling estate, and that with this fortune, his family can regain the life they once had." Leaning against the back of the chair he sat in, Carl went on, "I'm not buying it, though. I think that all of this talk of Blake's is a desperate cry for attention."

"What kind of kid is this Blake Gripling?" Yusei asked.

"Short, self-absorbed, thinks the world revolves around him," Carl replied.

"Damn, another Gideon," Yusei remarked with a snap of his fingers.

"Another Gideon who is right about the Gripling fortune," Crow stated.

Regarding his friend with a suspicious look, Carl asked, "What do you mean about Blake being right, Crow?"

"The Gripling fortune is indeed real, my good man," Crow explained to the younger boy, "The job that I was talking about before you interrupted me involved taking photos of the Griplings that I could sell to local tabloids, as the local tabloids eat up photos of the rich like a fat kid eats cake. During the job, I saw evidence confirming the existence of the Gripling fortune."

"Huh, well how about that," Carl remarked in a mildly impressed tone, "Blake was actually telling the truth. And here I thought he just wanted attention."

"Gideon-types like this Blake kid always want attention," Yusei remarked in a disgusted tone.

"Well that settles things, then," Crow said as he got up from the table, "We're going after the Gripling fortune! You in, Carl?"

"What's the plan with the fortune?" Carl asked, "Are we going to keep it for ourselves, or turn it over to the Griplings? Or do you have some other plan in mind for the fortune, like donating it to a charity to assist animals?"

Gently shaking his head, Crow replied, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

"Fair enough," Carl said with a nod.

"No, Birdbrain," Jack said as he stood up from the table, "No, no, a thousand times hell no! You are not going on some bloody fucking Mission Impossible-style caper to retrieve a fortune that, even if it does exist, does not rightfully belong to you! Furthermore, you aren't bringing a small child with you! What would the boy's sister say about that?"

"She's aware of the fact that I once planned to propose to an elderly woman whose love of pranking matched mine," Carl remarked, "Granted, said lady passed away before I could pop the question, but I digress. My sister knows I do all sorts of weird things, so at this point, I would actively have to try to shock her."

"And there's still the business of handling my late father-in-law's final affairs and picking up his worldly possessions that he had with him when he was brought in," Yusei pointed out.

"Oh, chill your tits, dudes," Crow said to Jack in a dismissive tone, "It's not like I was going to go over and take the Gripling fortune right now. That would be stupid."

"But you are planning on doing it anyway, aren't you?" Kalin asked.

"Carl and I will have to grab his friend Hoodsey first," Crow explained, "Then wait until night to make our move." Looking to Carl, Crow asked, "How long do you think it'll take you to go and grab Hoodsey?"

"Assuming that his mom isn't being a total bitch as per usual," Carl replied, "It should take me no more than forty-five minutes to go and get him."

"I can't believe this," Jack remarked in a mildly disgusted tone, "Crow is talking with an elementary school-age boy about pulling of a heist to-" Jack was cut off when Monster leapt up and placed his front paws at Jack's place at the table for support, grabbed Jack's uneaten slice of pizza, and ran off with it. "Oi, you mongrel!" Jack exclaimed, "That was my pizza!"

"Monster is NOT a mongrel!" Carl snapped at Jack defensively.

* * *

Later, Crow, Carl and Hoodsey were looking over a blueprint of the old Gripling estate. Hoodsey was a somewhat well-fed kid who wore a purple hooded sweatshirt (the hood was up), a pair of blue shorts, socks and blue shoes with white toes. Yusei, Jack and Kalin stood by while they were watching Crow plan a heist with two elementary school-age boys. (5)

"Do we even know how big the fortune it?" Hoodsey asked, "I mean, what if it's too much to carry out in one go?"

"Relax, Hoodsey," Crow said as he held up the Golden Tiger Claws, "That's what the Golden Tiger Claws are for."

"So, what's the plan?" Hoodsey asked.

"We wait for night before we sneak into the old Gripling estate," Crow explained, "I have a good memory of where I saw one of the Griplings access the fortune, which is about here." Crow finished as he pointed at an area on the blueprints. "We go here to see if we can find the Gripling fortune," Crow said, "If and when we find it, I'll tear a hole in the fabric of space with the Golden Tiger Claws that will empty out into Carl's bedroom here, and we'll throw the fortune into said tear so that it'll all land here."

"But what if someone sees that we're in the Gripling mansion?" Hoodsey asked.

Pulling two small, octagonal shaped stones from a pocket on the side of his jacket, Crow said, "That's why I made a quick stop to grab a few choice talismans from home."

Handing one of the talismans to Carl, Cow said, "This is the monkey talisman, which will turn you into any animal. Use it to turn into a small animal such as a rat, or maybe a racoon." Handing the other talisman to Hoodsey, Crow said, "This is the snake talisman, which will turn you invisible. It's great for hiding."

"What about you?" Carl asked.

"I'll be wearing a very dark outfit, so I can blend into the darkness," Crow explained, "I'll just hide somewhere. It goes without saying that I'll be needing the talismans back when this is all over, boys."

"Understood," Carl replied, with Hoodsey nodding in agreement.

Rolling up the blueprint of the Gripling estate, Crow said, "Well alright! You boys better rest up, because we got us a caper to pull off tonight!"

"I can't believe Crow is leading these boys down the dark path," Jack remarked as he shook his head in shame.

"Oh, Carl and I have walked that path long before we met Crow," Hoodsey said.

* * *

That night, a tear in the fabric of space appeared in one of the rooms of the now empty and unoccupied Gripling estate. Leaping out of the tear was Yusei, Jack, Crow, Kalin, Carl and Hoodsey. Landing on the floor of the room they teleported into, Crow looked around with mild uncertainty. "Did we remember to bring the blueprint of the Gripling estate with us?" Crow asked, "Because I have no fucking clue what room we're in."

"We did indeed bring the blueprint, my good man," Carl remarked, "But there's no need to bust it out for now. We're in what used to be Blake's older sister's bedroom."

"Ah yes," Crow replied as he looked around, "You told me about how you and Hoodsey had some scheme that ended up resulting in Hoodsey soiling himself, which left a stain on the carpet of this bedroom." Reaching the area of the room where Blake's older sister's bed use to sit, Crow added, "Since Hoodsey marked this room with his piss, that means this room is his now, right? Which would mean the rest of the place would follow."

"The boy is a human, not a bloody fucking dog, Birdbrain," Jack remarked.

"Why did you and the others even come along?" Carl asked as he and Hoodsey both took out their respective flashlights.

"Because Crow has a tendency to get himself into trouble if left to his own devices," Kalin pointed out.

"Look, all we're going to do is locate the Gripling fortune, spirit it away to Carl's bedroom back at the Foutley-Dave residence, then get the hell out of dodge," Crow explained to his roommates, "Carl, Hoodsey and I don't want to stay here any longer than we have to."

"Well at least you're trying to take every ca-" Yusei said, but was cut off when he and the others heard a large door open from the ground floor. "Hush," Yusei whispered to the others, "Someone just entered the estate." Silently gesturing for the others to follow him, Crow led the entire group out of the bedroom they were in and out to the main reception area of the estate. Upon arriving, they met up by the strange sight of a fourteen-year-old girl.

This girl had fair skin and long, straight blonde hair. She wore a baggy long-sleeved white shirt (the sleeve ends hung loosely around the wrists, not cling tightly to them) under a green tank-top, white cargo shorts (that had green trim and threading) that reached her knees, white socks that reached halfway up her shins, and a pair of light green shoes. She had a backpack on her back; it was one of those single strap deals where the strap went across her body, from her left hip to her right shoulder. All of this, however, was not why the sight of this girl was strange.

The strange thing was that the girl was accompanied by an Electivire.

"Hey," the teenage girl said in a mildly curious tone as she pointed to Yusei and the other guys, "Aren't you the guys who live next door to my family?"

"Yeah, that's us," Yusei replied, "You're the neighbor girl, aren't you?"

With something of a cocky smile, the girl said, "Ailor Fisher, at your service." Gesturing to her Pokémon, Ailor continued, "Oh, and this is Fourze, my Electivire."

"Oh, you nickname your Pokémon," Kalin remarked in an amused tone as he took a step forward, "That's pretty-" Kalin was cut off when Fourze the Electivire cried out in a freaked-out tone, before it ran at Kalin and socked him square in the face with an electrified fist, sending Kalin flying back until he smacked back-first into a wall. Alarmed, Yusei ran over to where Kalin fell, bent down, and checked for a pulse.

"Kalin's dead," Yusei said in a grim tone as he got up and walked back over to the others. (6)

"Well it's his fault for freaking Fourze out," Ailor defended, "But then again, we're in a large, abandoned house, so you can't quite blame him for losing his cool."

"What are you and your Pokémon even doing here in the first place?" Yusei asked.

Shrugging her shoulders, Ailor replied, "Places like this are great for exploring, not to mention all of the cool stuff you can find."

"Speaking of finding stuff," Crow said, "We're trying to find a fortune hidden somewhere in this place. Wanna help us find it?"

"Will I get a cut of the profits?" Ailor replied.

"Meh, I'll throw a wad of money your way, I suppose," Crow replied.

"Then count us in, chief," Ailor said as she and her Electivire saluted Crow.

Facepalming, Jack muttered to himself, "This is going to be a long night."

* * *

The following morning over at the Foutley-Dave residence, the remaining guys, Carl and Hoodsey were looking at a large pile of wads of money sitting on Carl's bed. "Aside from the wad of money I threw to the neighbor girl for helping us," Crow said, "We managed to get the entirety of the Gripling fortune."

"So, what's the plan for the cash, Crow?" Hoodsey asked, "Because although I risk sounding kind of greedy for saying this, I was kind of expecting a cut of the profits."

"Nah, don't sweat it," Crow replied, "It's a natural thing to feel that. I ain't gonna hold it against you in the least."

"Considering the fact that Hoodsey and I are both elementary school-age boys, the most I expect either of us to reasonably get away with keeping without drawing the attention of our respective families is one ten-thousand-dollar wad each," Carl remarked, "Same as the one you tossed to that girl who help us last night."

"Good point," Crow said as he tossed one wad of ten-thousand dollars to Carl, and another wad of equal value to Hoodsey.

"Carl, can I count on you to keep my share here someplace safe?" Hoodsey asked as he tried to hand his share to Carl, "My mom has a rather nasty habit of invading my privacy, and if she discovered this in my room…"

"Say no more," Carl replied in an understanding tone as he received the money from Hoodsey, "I'll keep this hidden in my room where no one will find it."

"Which means Birdbrain gets the rest of the loot," Jack remarked as he turned his eyes to the rest of the Gripling fortune. Turning his attention to Crow, Jack asked, "The bloody hell do you plan to do with this pile of millions of dollars?"

"I was planning on putting it towards the university," Crow replied, drawing confused looks out of Yusei and Jack.

"University?" Yusei repeated in a confused tone, "What university?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Crow replied. (7) As Crow proceeded to go about the business of teleporting the money someplace safe with the Golden Tiger Claws, a young female voice from downstairs called out, "Hello? Carl? I'm home! Why is there a Volkswagen van parked outside of our house?"

"Ah, that would be my older sister," Carl said to the guys as he walked to his closet. Opening the closet and hiding his and Hoodsey's respective shares in a pile of dirty clothes on the floor, Carl then turned around and said, "Where did you say you guys put your dead friend's body again?"

"In the van," Crow replied, "A good thing we carry a few spare body bags at all times." (8)

…

Yusei, Jack and Crow were downstairs a few minutes later with Carl, Hoodsey and Carl's older sister Ginger. Ginger had fair skin and orange-red hair with two yellow clips in her hair. Ginger also wore a yellow t-shirt, blue pants, and tannish shoes with green bottoms. "So, all three of you are good friends with my little brother?" Ginger asked as she regarded Yusei, Jack and Crow with a confused look."

"No, it's just Birdbrain that's all buddy-buddy with your brother," Jack said to Ginger while pointing to Crow, "The only reason why the guys and I came here is because Yusei's father-in-law was killed in a prison riot, and Yusei needs to handle various final affairs for the man."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that your father-in-law's been killed," Ginger remarked.

"What's worse is that I still need to break the news to my wife," Yusei remarked, "I have no clue how I'm going to break it to Akiza that her father is dead."

"Buy a tub of Akiza's favorite ice cream and hand it plus a spoon to Akiza before you break the news to her," Crow suggested, "I did the same thing when I had to inform Brianna that her dad was killed."

"I might have to get a squeeze bottle of caramel topping as well," Yusei sighed, "Akiza's been on something of a caramel kick recently." With a shrug, Yusei added, "I'm guessing that it's some sort of craving due to Akiza being pregnant."

END, CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Author's Notes:

(1) Yes, it's the exact same gun that Sinon has in the GGO arc of SAO.

(2) Jack would like to kill two Birdbrains with one stone.

(3) According to the research I did on the matter, if it's noon in California, then it should be about three in the afternoon in Connecticut.

(4) Jack's suspicious of Carl because Carl's friends with Crow. What other reason does Jack need?

(5) That's totally legit.

(6) Electivire's Thunder Punch must have been super effective against Kalin.

(7) As will _you_.

(8) A really good thing.

I realized that, although I introduced new neighbor kids who own Pokémon, I had yet to introduce the neighbor kids themselves, even though a few of their Pokémon have shown up along the way. I decided to rectify this by introducing Ailor, the neighbor girl. Ailor's twin brother will show up at some point, mark my words. Also, the two neighbor kids are based off of my sister and myself, with their respective pokemon being based off of pokemon that we own on our respective games.

Oh, before I forget to mention this, Yusei and the guys will head to New York City in the next chapter because of something having to do with the local sewers.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter fifteen: Yusei and friends do New York City's sewers

Yusei Fudo and his roommates slash friends, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, were all sitting at the dining table in the dining room of the Atlas penthouse, which was located in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. As it was the morning, Yusei and the other guys were having breakfast, with Yusei reading the morning paper. As per usual ever since he moved in with the guys, Dukey, who is Kalin's talking dog best friend, was at the table with the guys, drinking a mug of coffee.

"So Yusei," Kalin began in a conversational tone, "How's Akiza doing?"

"She's more pregnant than before, if that's what you mean," Yusei replied as he and Kalin talked about Yusei's girlfriend-turned-wife Akiza, who Yusei got pregnant, "I think that Akiza's due within a short amount of time."

"Not that I'm going to complain about the rug rat, as he or she will be a more civilized person in a conversation than Birdbrain," Jack remarked, "But how in the bloody blazes are we going to pay for the little bugger? It's bad enough that we have ourselves to support, not to mention Akiza, Carly, Brianna, and the wonder twins. How will throwing another mouth to feed into the equation make things easier around here?"

"We'll think of something, Jack," Yusei replied as he turned his attention back to his paper, "We always do."

"I always do, at least," Crow remarked with a cocky grin on his face.

"You bloody hell never come up with anything, Birdbrain," Jack remarked. As Crow and Jack got into an argument, Jack's girlfriend, Carly Carmine, came walking into the dining room.

"Hey Jack," Carly began in a mildly hesitant tone, "Do you have a sec? I need to talk to you about something that's very important."

"Well I always have time for you, Carly," Jack replied as he shoved Crow out of view with enough force to throw the broom-headed turbo duelist into the nearest obstacle (an armchair in the living room). His full attention on Carly, Jack asked in a kind and understanding tone, "What's on your mind now, Carly?"

"I need a lift to New York City," Carly replied.

"…I beg your pardon?" Jack said, caught off guard by the seemingly out of nowhere request from his girlfriend.

"There's this reporter's convention going on in New York City," Carly explained, "And I'm expecting a fellow reporter who's a close friend of mine to meet me there." Giving her best puppy-dog look to Jack, Carly said, "I'd really, really appreciate it if you can take me to New York City."

"Uhh, about that, Carly," Crow said as he walked back into the dining room, "Jack threw a hissy fit when Brianna asked for a lift down to Echo Creek, which is a six to eight-hour drive from here, because her dad died down there. You're asking for a lift to New York City, which is clear on the other side of the country from here, for a convention. The fuck makes you think that Jack is will-"

"I will personally see right to it that we'll get you to New York City, Carly," Jack replied, interrupting Crow in the process, as the blonde turbo duelist laid a hand on Carly's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"…Oh, you son of a bitch," Crow muttered. (1)

"Relax, Crow," Yusei said as he turned to face his friend, apparently having heard what Crow muttered, "We can get to New York City the same way we got to Sheltered Shrubs. The only change is that we're bringing Carly along for the ride."

"You know, Yusei," Kalin began, "We've brought Brianna along on one of our adventures, we've brought Dukey along for one as well, and now we're bringing Carly. When do you think we'll bring Akiza?"

"Not until after she's given birth, at least," Yusei remarked, "The last thing we need while we're in Bumfuck, Mexico or whatever is for Akiza to give birth."

"Because your kid won't be able to become the President of the United States?" Crow asked, "Because I'm pretty sure that being born in Bumfuck, Mexico will nix that option for your kid."

"…That's technically correct, but it's not really the point I'm trying to make here," Yusei said while pointing to Crow, "The point I'm trying to make is that I don't want Akiza going into labor while we're out and about."

"Well how about the wonder twins?" Crow asked, "Surely Leo and Luna are going to get a turn at some point."

"If Luna can get her grades in math and science up, maybe," Yusei replied as he folded his newspaper and set it at his place at the table. (2) Standing up from the table, Yusei continued, "But that's beside the point. We've got a trip to New York City to pack for!"

"Yay!" Carly cheered as she pumped a fist into the air.

* * *

About a half-hour later, a tear in the fabric of space appeared in a parking lot somewhere in New York City. Yusei's Volkswagen van drove out of the tear and parked in the parking lot before the tear vanished. "So, Carly," Jack began as he turned around to face Carly, who sat in the back of the van, "When and where will this convention of yours take place?"

"It's not for a few days, but then again I wasn't expecting us to get here so quickly," Carly replied.

"Ehh, that's fair," Jack said. Turning back around so he could face Yusei, Jack continued, "I take it that we're going to find a hotel or someplace to check into?"

"It shouldn't be a problem," Yusei replied, "So long as nothing weird happens while we're here, of course."

"…I'm not even going to bother," Kalin muttered to himself, too quietly for anyone else in the van to hear. (3)

After the group climbed out of the Volkswagen van, Yusei said, "Alright. We just need to get our bearings on where we're at and we'll be good to-" Yusei was cut off when he and the others heard a woman cry out in panic. Turning their attention to the direction the cry came from, they saw a woman being chased by what looked to be gang members in their late teens to very early twenties. The gang members all varied in appearance, but all of them had a purple-colored silhouette of a serpentine dragon somewhere on their respective persons, whether it was a tattoo or part of their outfits.

As for the woman herself, she had red hair that was up in a bun on the back of her head, save for the bangs that framed her face. She wore a midriff-exposing purple top, light brown pants with a belt that held them up, blue shoes, and for some reason, a white lab coat. "Bloody hell, guys," Jack said as he pointed out the scene of the gang members chasing the woman, "That woman's in trouble! We ought to save her!"

"You're damn straight we ought to save her!" Carly nearly exclaimed, "That's April O'Neil! She's my friend I was telling you about!"

"Huh, well ain't that a coincidence," Crow said as he ran at the gang members while drawing his Sig Sauer 9MM from its holster. Yusei and the others ran towards the gang members as well, intending to do whatever they can think of.

Yusei immediately leapt up and struck one of the gang members across the face with his foot, sending that gang member tumbling to the ground. Jack cupped his right fist with his left hand before he swung his right elbow into the throat of one of the gang members, then he smacked another gang member that was trying to sneak up from behind in the face with the back of his left hand, curled into a fist. Kalin pulled out a thing of pepper spray and sprayed it in the face of any of the gang members that came close to him. Kalin also struck one or two of the gang members in the groin with kicks.

Crow shot a few gang members with his Sig Sauer 9MM, striking mostly in non-fatal areas, although Crow did headshot a female gang member, killing her as a result. While the guys were engaging the gang members, Carly got April out of the area of the fighting.

"Who are those guys, Carly?" April asked as she and Carly hid behind Yusei's Volkswagen van.

"The blonde guy is my boyfriend Jack," Carly explained, "And the others are Jacks friends slash roommates. The dark-haired guy with yellow highlights in his hair is Yusei, the white-haired guy is Kalin, and the broom-headed one is Crow." With something of a nervous chuckle, Carly said, "I bet you can't really relate to having a group of four guys who do a lot of the fighting for you."

"You'd be surprised," April remarked dryly as Yusei and the other guys came walking up.

"The gang members have all either fled, been knocked out, or killed," Yusei said. To April, Yusei said, "Carly told us you're her friend April O'Neil, right?" After the reporter nodded in the affirmative, Yusei asked, "The hell were those guys all about?"

"That was a group of Purple Dragon gang members," April explained, "They're a gang of thugs based here in New York City. They do various gang-related activities, and have been known to shake down small businesses for protection money. I heard rumor that there's an abandoned warehouse that they've been using as something of a base of operations, and I thought that by exposing it and getting police to smoke the gang members out, I'd finally make a mark in the world of journalism."

"You tried to smoke out a dangerous criminal gang on your own?" Carly asked in an impressed tone, "Wow, girl, that's pretty ballsy, even for you."

"More like stupid, Carly," Jack remarked. To April, Jack said, "With all due respect, going into something that, especially alone, is nothing short of Birdbrain-level dumb, not to mention the fact that you could have gotten yourself killed. Suicide is not the Jedi way." (4)

"I didn't go in alone, you know," April retorted, "In fact, I had my own group of four guys backing me up. But when we were discovered by the purple dragons, the boys told me to hightail it out of there while they kept the purple dragons busy."

"You think your friends will be okay, April?" Carly asked.

"Pfft, like a bunch of petty thugs are capable of taking down those four," April said as she dismissed any worried Carly had.

"You seem oddly confident about your friends' abilities to get themselves out of that mess," Kalin remarked, "Are you sure that-"

"Hey, April! We took those guys down!" a male voice called out, getting everyone to turn to see four individuals walk up; it was a good thing that no one else was around to see this, because they were humanoid human-sized turtles wearing ninja masks, the one with the orange mask apparently being the one to have called out, if his waving is any indication.

It was true; four human sized humanoid turtles, all wearing ninja masks over their eyes, came walking up to April. The one with the orange mask had a pair of nunchaku, the one with the blue mask had a pair of katanas, the one with the red mask had a pair of sai, and the one with the purple mask had a bo staff. Gesturing to the four humanoid turtles, April said, "Carly, boys, these are my friends I was telling you about."

"I'm surprised they aren't freaking out at the sight of us," remarked the turtle with the red mask.

"We live with a talking dog that can walk on his hind legs," Kalin said, "Also, my friends and I have seen more than our fair share of pretty weird shit, so at this point it will take more than a group of giant humanoid turtles to make us freak out."

"I see," remarked the turtle with the blue mask, "Well anywho, I think introductions are in order. I'm Leonardo, my brother with the orange mask is Michelangelo, my brother with the red mask is Raphael, and my brother with the purple mask is Donatello. You can just call us Leo, Raph, Don and Mikey."

"Did…did your parents have a fetish for renaissance painters, or something?" Jack asked.

"To be honest, Master Splinter named us after people he read about in a book he found in the trash," Mikey replied.

Leaning to his side, Kalin whispered to Jack, "I think we need to report their dad to CPS."

"We need to report these guys to the local news is what we need to do," Jack whispered back, "Four human-sized humanoid turtles that can talk and are armed with ninja weapons. This will make the six-o-clock news for sure!"

"Hey April," Leo said as he gestured to Carly and the guys, "Are they friends of yours?"

"This is my friend Carly and the group she's traveling with," April explained, "They just saved me from a group of purple dragon thugs."

"Can they be trusted?" Don asked.

"Not Birdbrain here," Jack said as he jerked a thumb at Crow.

"Oh, go hump a cup ramen, Jack," Crow dismissed.

"Just like Raph and Mikey," Leo remarked as he observed the banter between Jack and Crow. To his brothers, Leo said, "I think we can trust them."

"You guys in need of a place to crash?" Raph asked Yusei and the others, "We got plenty of space down in the sewers where we live with Master Splinter." (5)

Leaning to his side, Jack whispered to Kalin, "I think you may have had a valid point about calling CPS." This drew a nod of agreement out of Kalin.

"It's not as bad as you guys might picture it to be," April said to the guys and Carly, "I've been down there a few times. They actually have this pretty cool lair thing going on."

"An evil lair?" Crow asked excitedly as he rubbed his hands together.

"Umm, no," Don replied with a mildly confused look on his face, "It's more along the lines of a hidden lair."

"Well if April says it's okay, then I say we go for it," Carly stated.

"And I can't say no to Carly, so I say we give it a go," Jack added.

"Does it smell like most other sewers?" Kalin asked.

"Will there be enough beds for all of us?" Yusei asked.

"Will we meet Killer Croc or the Sewer King?" Crow asked, drawing a smack to the back of his head from Jack. (6)

"You'll see when we get there," Leo replied as he gestured for the guys to follow him, "Anywho, come on. We've got to get going." Yusei and the others all shot each other uncertain looks as they followed the turtles, April and Carly.

* * *

Later, Yusei, the guys and Carly were all standing in the turtles' lair. Whistling in an impressed tone, Yusei remarked, "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"Yep!" Mikey said, "This little nest of ours is what we call home. We've been living here ever since we were covered in radioactive slime that mutated us into giant humanoid turtles with the ability to talk." Gesturing to the whole of the lair, Mikey asked, "What do you guys think?"

"Meh, if it wasn't for the fact that our next-door neighbor's kids each owns a deity as a pet, I would have been a lot more impressed," Kalin remarked.

"So, April," Carly said as she turned to face her fellow reporter, "Do you have any idea how long the purple dragons have been in business?"

April was about to speak, but she was cut off when a male voice speaking in a Brooklyn accent spoke out, "Ever since I was a kid, at the least!" Yusei and the others all turned to see a tall guy approximately their age walk in. He wore boots, blue pants, a dark red men's tank-top, had fair skin and long dark hair. "Hey boys," the new guest said to the turtles while pointing to Yusei and the guys, "Who are these weirdos?"

"Calling us weirdos while you're talking to four human-sized humanoid turtles seems a bit odd, don't you think?" Jack asked the guest.

"Are you from England?!" the guest said as he walked menacingly towards Jack while pulling out a pair of baseball bats, "It's time to batter up!"

"Casey, no!" April said, "He helped saved me from being attacked by members of the purple dragon gang! No batter up!"

"And I'm Australian, you bloody wanker!" Jack snapped angrily.

"April, you know this guy?" Carly asked as she turned to face April.

Nodding in the affirmative, April said, "This is Casey Jones. He's a friend of mine and the turtle brothers over there."

"What's shaking, my man?" Raph said to Casey as he offered a high-five, which was acted upon right away.

"I heard that there's been a newly discovered purple dragon hide-out, and that it's crawling with the punks," Casey remarked as he put his baseball bats away, "I wanna be on the frontlines when we move in and take them out!"

"Amen to that, dude!" Raph replied, "But, uhh, we gotta exercise caution, you know?"

"Wait a bloody minute here," Jack interrupted. With all eyes on him, Jack continued, "The bloody fuck is wrong with all of you? Do you seriously believe that moving in on a hide-out swarming with gang members is a good idea when you're so few in number? Why not call the police and send them in on the location?"

"Because this oaf of a man who is my rival in reporting here will force his way into being the one who reports on this on the news," April replied, "We have to do this ourselves."

"No, no we do NOT have to do this ourselves!" Jack retorted, "And I don't care how much notoriety you can get from being the news hound who talks to the camera on the six-o-clock news, or how many gang member skulls you can potentially bash in with a bloody fucking toaster for all I care! Doing this would be fucking suicide!"

"You're afraid, aren't you?" Mikey half-asked half-taunted.

"If by afraid you mean competent, then yes!" Jack snapped.

"Uhh, that's totally not what I meant by afraid," Mikey replied, "Also, ha! You just admitted to being afraid!"

"I WILL FUCKING CUT YOUR LEFT ARM OFF WITH A FUCKING SWORD, THEN FOLLOW THAT UP BY CUTTING OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD!" Jack exclaimed angrily at the nunchaku wielding ninja turtle.

"I must ask that you do no such thing to any of my sons," an older male voice called out, getting the guys to all turn and see a humanoid rat walk up. He was a gray-colored humanoid rodent wearing a brown long-sleeved gi that reached halfway down his legs. Additionally, he was also holding onto a walking stick.

"Master Splinter!" the four turtles all exclaimed as they ran up to greet the humanoid rat.

Nodding in acknowledgement to the turtle brothers, Splinter said, "Michelangelo, there is no reason to taunt the foul-mouthed blonde-haired fellow. His words of exercising caution are most wise, my son."

"At least you agree with me," Jack said to Splinter as he gestured to the humanoid rat.

"However, there is a fine line between caution and fear," Splinter replied to Jack, "And you must be wary of blurring that line. Fear lead to anger. Anger lead to hate."

"Yes," Jack nodded as he just wanted to get things over with, "But you see-"

"Hate lead to drive-by," Splinter continued. (7)

"Hoo boy, don't I know that," Crow remarked with a nod.

"So anywho, are we going to go knock a few purple dragon skulls around or what?" Casey asked.

Sighing, Splinter said, "Normally, I would advise against seeking out conflict. But these purple dragon fellows, from what I've been hearing, are a grave threat to those who cannot protect themselves, and there is no sign that these purple dragon fellows will stop on their own." Pointing his walking stick at everyone else, Splinter continued, "They must be defeated, but do not forget to exercise caution. Also, do not try to hurt them. …Unless that is your intention. In which case, hurt them a lot." (8)

"You can count on us, Master Splinter!" Mikey said as he and his brothers saluted their master.

"You got it, Chief Ratman!" Crow said as he himself saluted the humanoid rat.

Leaning to his side so that he could whisper to Yusei, Jack said, "Why do we allow stuff like this to happen again?"

Shrugging, Yusei replied, "At least it keeps us occupied."

* * *

Later, Yusei, the guys, Carly, April, Casey and the turtle brothers were all outside of an abandoned warehouse. "Okay, now before we all go in, is anyone here not an active combatant?" Jack asked. After a few seconds, Carly and April both raised their hands, albeit tentatively. "Okay," Jack replied, "I'll call Carly on her cell phone when it's safe, but before that, I want the two of you to hide someplace right now."

As the girls nodded before they proceeded to hide in a short alleyway between two buildings that were nearby, Jack said to the guys, "Here's the plan," Jack said as he took off a backpack he was wearing, "Thanks to the turtle man with the purple mask, we've got a few of these special smoke grenades. We activate them, toss them into the gang hide-out, and then the turtle boys will move in and take out any gang members that don't run out in confusion."

"What about the ones that do run out in confusion, mister tea and crumpets?" Casey asked as he shot Jack a skeptical look.

"It's shrimp on the barbie and Foster's, stupid boy," Jack corrected as he snapped at Casey, "And I will take a digeridoo and shove right up your down under if you insinuate that I'm from England one more time. But that's beside the point." To the group as a whole, Jack continued, "Birdbrain did something smart for a change by blocking off all but one exit on this place." Gesturing to the door in front of them, Jack said, "This door is the only way for those gangsters to get out of their hide-out. Me, Yusei, Birdbrain, Kalin and Brooklyn Rage here will stand here to knock out any gang members who run through that door."

"Oi, did you just mock my accent?" Casey asked, shooting an offended expression at the blonde turbo duelist.

"His plan makes a lot of sense, Casey," Raph said, "And hey man, he's only pissing on your boots because you're pissing on his."

"…Fine," Casey replied as he drew his pair of baseball bats out of the bag over his back, "The moment I see a purple dragon run out, it's time to play ball."

"You guys understand your roll?" Yusei asked when he turned to face the turtle brothers.

"You got it," Don replied as he gave Yusei a thumbs-up before he and his brothers proceeded to take their positions, with a few smoke grenades in hand each. The five humans waited on edge as the turtles threw activated smoke grenades into the warehouse, allowing the place to fill with smoke as much as possible. Soon, the guys all heard panicked shouts and failed attempts to get out of the warehouse because all but one of the exits were blocked.

As for the one exit that wasn't blocked, a few purple dragon gang members came running out, coughing due to the smoke. As these gang members filed out, Yusei and the others proceeded to whip their gang member asses. "Swing, batter, batter, swing!" Casey cried out in obviously enjoyment as he whacked a gang member in the back with one of his bats.

After Yusei knocked out the latest purple dragon to come running out of the warehouse, the guys heard Mikey call out, "It's okay now! We've knocked out all of the gang members that were still in the warehouse!" Yusei and the other guys relaxed as the turtle brothers came walking out of the warehouse. "We are the champions, my friends!" Mikey cheered in obvious amusement.

"Hey, I bet you liked that reference," Casey said as he turned to face Jack. Jack scowled at the bat-wielding vigilante, but before he could act, the side of the warehouse they were all standing near burst open. To the shock of the humans and the turtles, a giant machine that looked to be a combination of construction equipment and mech suit came stumbling out.

"Some lab dudes who work in a lab were using this warehouse," said the purple dragon gang member, who is surprisingly a girl of somewhat short stature, piloting the machine, "So they left a few things behind when the boys and I moved in.

"I thought you guys said you knocked out all of the gang members inside of the warehouse," Yusei said when he turned to face the turtles.

"We must not have seen her because she's so short," Leo remarked.

"That's still no excuse to-" Yusei began to snap, but he was cut off when the girl piloting the machine turned around, used the machine to pick up a nearby car, and fling the car at the guys. The car flew at Yusei and crashed on top of him, crushing him to death. (9)

"Oh shit!" Jack exclaimed, "Yusei's dead! The bloody fuck are we going to tell Akiza?!"

"To chill her tits until next week?" Crow offered in a mildly confused tone.

"I will not stand for anyone mocking my height!" the girl gang member piloting the machine exclaimed in anger, "I'm sick and fucking tired of-" The girl was cut off when a light blue and white swirling portal appeared along the side of where the fighting was taking place. Stepping out of the portal was a humanoid rabbit who was roughly the same height as the turtle brothers. Mostly white in color, the humanoid rabbit wore a long-sleeved blue men's kimono top, a black hakama, and a pair of white tabi socks inside a pair of zori sandals. The humanoid rabbit also wore his long ears in a topknot style. Finally, he carried a pair of swords; one a katana and the other a wakizashi.

The remaining guys watched as this humanoid rabbit stepped out of the portal. "…Who the bloody hell is that?" Jack asked aloud to no one in particular.

"It's Jesus," Crow replied. Leaping up, the humanoid rabbit slashed at the top of the giant machine, causing it to break down entirely, complete with falling apart and the girl who was piloting it flying out as if riding an ejected seat. Luckily, the girl landed on a pile of garbage bags. The humanoid rabbit turned to face the guys. To Leonardo in particular, the rabbit shot him a thumbs-up and a smile before jumping back into the portal from which he came. The portal then faded away, as if it was never there in the first place.

"…Well wasn't that convenient," Kalin remarked in a bemused tone.

"Hey man, let's go tie up that girl who was piloting the mech," Casey said to Kalin, getting the white-haired turbo duelist to follow him.

Looking around the scene, at the knocked-out gang members, the destroyed machine, and the car that landed on and crushed Yusei to death, Jack sighed in a resigned tone as he pulled out a cell phone. "I better call Carly to give her and her friend the okay to come on out now, now that a sword-wielding samurai rabbit destroyed a giant machine."

"Praise Jesus!" Crow exclaimed as he threw both of his hands into the air.

* * *

Back at the sewer lair where the turtles and Splinter lived, the remaining guys were talking with the turtles, Splinter, Carly and April. "I am most sorry about your loss, my friends," Splinter said to Jack, Crow and Kalin, "I cannot imagine the pain you three must feel."

"Meh," Crow said with a shrug, "It won't last too long." (10)

"Hey, I got a question," April began, "Where's Casey?"

"Over here, April," Casey's voice called out, getting everyone to turn to face the direction Casey's voice came from. When they did, they saw that he was laying front-side down on a table, his head turned so that he could face everyone else. There was a digeridoo shoved firmly up the Brooklyn native's ass.

"W…why is there a digeridoo shoved firmly into your rear end, Casey?" Splinter asked, more confused than anything else.

"Mister pip-pip cheerio over there shoved it up my ass because he can't take a joke," Casey replied in a mildly annoyed tone as he pointed to Jack.

"You want me to shove it up even further, you bloody dolt?!" Jack snapped.

"Casey, Casey, Casey," Raph said in a mildly disappointed tone as he gently shook his head, "What did I say about pissing on the blonde guy's boots?"

"Hey Casey," Mikey said, "You think you can play some music like that?"

"I can certainly give it a go," Casey replied as he tried to make himself fart on command. When he did fart, the force of it coming out of the digeridoo actually succeeded in playing a note, making everyone other than the girls, Splinter and Jack laugh to at least some degree. "Hey, I can become the next big music star like this!" Casey said in a tone of surprised amusement.

Seeing that the turtles were still finding amusement with Casey's farts playing a digeridoo, Jack sighed as he shook his head. "…Teenagers," Jack muttered to himself, too quietly for anyone else to hear.

END, CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Author's Notes:

(1) Jack is being something of a hypocrite here, if you think about it.

(2) Which would be difficult considering that the wonder twins go to a school that teaches how to play Duel Monsters.

(3) He's not sure what exactly will happen, all Kalin knows is that something _will_ happen.

(4) …Because, you know, Jack's got those padawan braid-like thingies in his hair and…oh, never mind.

(5) Poor choice of words there, Raph.

(6) The worst that the guys have to deal with here are purple dragon thugs. No need to drag members of Batman's rouges gallery into things here.

(7) When he gets really into giving out sage advice, Splinter starts talking like Yoda.

(8) Not exactly the quote, but close enough.

(9) Yusei has a rule concerning his Volkswagen van; Crow's not allowed to drive it.

(10) He got a point there.

This is probably my shortest chapter yet, which, if you think about it, makes up for some earlier chapters that had a tendency to drag on. Anywho, the next chapter will see the birth of Yusei and Akiza's child; I had originally planned on making it happen in this chapter with the guys visiting a different show, but I had to juggle around a few things for a few reasons; one, Yusei died at the end of the previous block and I did not want that to happen in this block, two, I did not want Yusei to die in the chapter where his child is born, and C, the next chapter is chapter sixteen, and I have the perfect show for Yusei and the guys to visit lined up for the sixteenth chapter.

Basically, Yusei and the guys go over to a giant mall located in Canada so they can make the good times last.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter sixteen: Yusei and friends do Galleria Shopping Mall

Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Dukey, who is Kalin Kessler's talking dog best friend, were standing in the kitchen of the Atlas penthouse one day in New Domino City, which is a suburb of San Francisco, California. "Wait a bloody fucking minute there, Yusei," Jack began as he regarded his roommate with a confused look, "…Akiza wants to eat what now?!"

"She wants ice cream topped with pickle chips," Yusei replied, "Specifically, she wants vanilla ice cream topped with bread and butter flavored pickle chips."

"The fuck is wrong with her?!" Jack exclaimed, "I mean, sure bread and butter flavor is the god flavor of pickles, but to put any sort of pickles on ice cream?! Is Akiza insane?!" (1)

"No, dingus," Crow remarked, "Akiza's pregnant." Getting a loaf of sliced bread out, Crow set it on the counter as he said, "When pregnant, women tend to crave the most bizarre things." Setting a jar of creamy peanut butter on the counter next to the loaf of slice bread he got out, Crow continued as he walked over to the fridge, "I fully expected Akiza to want to eat some weird ass stuff while she was carrying Yusei's child."

"You eat weird ass stuff whenever you get high on that magic pot from Mewni," Jack pointed out.

Removing a container of sauerkraut from the fridge, Crow replied, "Well, that's true. But I'm not the woman carrying Yusei's child, now am I?"

"Thank goodness for that," Jack said as he let out an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"Fuck you," Crow said as he proceeded to make a sandwich using the materials he got out. After he finished, Crow placed the sandwich on a small plate and said, "There we are."

"…Did you just make a peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich, Crow?" Dukey asked, a mildly disgusted but mostly confused look on his face.

"It's a recipe I learned from the greatest culinary mind in Michigan," Crow exclaimed, "I figured that this might hold Akiza over until Kalin gets back with the bread and butter flavored pickle chips and vanilla ice cream."

"Birdbrain," Jack began, "What the bloody hell makes you think that-" Jack was cut off when Akiza Fudo, whose belly looks very noticeably pregnant, came out, saw the sandwich Crow made, snatched it, and quickly devoured it.

Sighing in relief, Akiza said, "Whew. I needed that."

When he saw Crow give him a smug look, Jack flipped him off with his right hand.

* * *

Later, after Kalin had returned from getting the ice cream and pickle chips for Akiza, the guys minus Yusei were sitting in the living room. "Well that was certainly interesting," Kalin said as he relaxed in the armchair he sat in as if he were melting on it.

"Akiza ate all of the ice cream and the pickle chips, then she drank all of the pickle juice in the jar," Jack stated, "I'd say that it was a little more than _something_ , Kalin."

"Well look on the bright side," Dukey remarked to the blonde turbo duelist, "Have you seen how big Akiza's belly has gotten? She's bound to give birth any day now!"

"What do you think she'll name her and Yusei's kid?" Kalin asked rhetorically, "I was thinking Cynthia if it's a girl and Constantine if it's a boy."

"No offence, but a name like Constantine might get the kid picked on at school," Jack remarked, "I was thinking that, if Yusei's child is a boy, he should be named after me."

"Yusei should name his child after you if it's a boy?" Kalin remarked.

"Of course!" Jack stated as he stood up, "Just imagine it; Jack Atlas Fudo! The kid will be kicking ass and taking names for sure!"

"Talk about stroking one's ego," Crow remarked snidely.

"Oh?" Jack retorted, "And I suppose you can do us one better, Birdbrain?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Crow said, "How does Sephiroth Grelod Gideon Joffrey Dio Urkel sound to you?" (2) Seeing that Jack, Kalin and Dukey were all starring at him in total disbelief, Crow said, "…What?"

"That is the single dumbest…" Jack began, only to shake his head out of mild frustration before continuing, "…Why would you even suggest such a mess of a name?"

"Think about it," Crow replied as he began to explain his reasoning, "You know a lot of those prestigious people have big, long names, right? So, I figured that Yusei and Akiza's kid should have such a name. Trust me, a long name will get the kid noticed by colleges."

"We'll talk about whatever stupidity you're currently on about later, Crow," Yusei said as he entered the living room, "Right now, we got something else to take care of."

"What would that be, Yusei?" Kalin asked.

"Akiza's having another pregnancy-induced craving, and we need to go grab what she wants," Yusei explained.

"Oh, bloody hell," Jack replied in a mildly annoyed tone, "And what does Akiza want this time? Horseradish-coated strawberries? Bananas dipped in fondue cheese? Bacon-wrapped eggrolls?"

"She wants a lemonade," Yusei answered.

A look of mild surprise on his face, Jack said, "Oh. Umm, well, that doesn't seem unreasonable."

"There's a catch, though," Yusei began to explain, "And I have to tell a little story in order to explain the catch." With all eyes on him, Yusei said, "You see, a while ago, Akiza and I went to this shopping mall called the Galleria Shopping Mall. It was without a doubt the largest mall that I have ever been to. Anywho, during a break that we took in the food court from shopping, Akiza got a lemonade from a nearby drink stand called the Big Squeeze. Akiza said that it was without a doubt the best lemonade she ever had. That, boys, is the specific lemonade that Akiza wants."

"So, we just have to drive to the mall you were talking about and get Akiza her lemonade," Jack remarked, "Granted, we'll have to go a bit out of our way to get it, but compared to ice cream covered in pickle chips, a lemonade seems to be a very reasonable craving."

"Here's the thing, though," Yusei explained, "The Galleria Shopping Mall is located all the way over in Toronto." (3)

"…Are you fucking shitting me?" Jack replied, "We have to go all the way to fucking _Canada_ just to pick up Akiza's latest pregnancy-induced craving?"

"Easy there, Jack," Crow remarked, "Don't you go dissing Canada. It's one of the six greatest countries on earth." (4)

"But still," Jack continued, "Going from New Domino all the way to Toronto seems kind of far, don't you think?"

Sighing, Yusei said, "You forget that we have the means of going literally anywhere we want within a matter of moments."

"I didn't forget," Jack defended, "I still think that we're going too far out of our way just to handle so minor an issue of business as getting someone a lemonade."

"Well hey, look at the bright side," Yusei remarked, "We'll be able to swing in some shopping at one of the largest malls in Canada while we're handling the business of grabbing that Lemonade for Akiza."

"Plus, you guys will be able to get yourselves out of the house for a few hours," Dukey replied, "Away from the bizarre things Akiza's been eating."

"Aren't you disgusted by what Akiza eats as well?" Jack asked as he pointed to the talking dog.

"I'm a dog, Jack," Dukey pointed out, "I've eaten my own throw-up a few times. I think that you'll find that it's very difficult to gross me out with what you eat." Jack looked like he was about to argue, but he immediately relented when he realized that Dukey had a point.

Standing up, Crow pumped a fist into the air as he said, "Then it's settled! We're going to Canada!"

"I'll get the Volkswagen ready," Yusei remarked as he made his way to the garage.

* * *

A few minutes later, Yusei's Volkswagen van drove out of a tear in the fabric of space that appeared in a convenience store parking lot in Toronto. Parking the van, Yusei said, "Okay, you guys. I looked it up ahead of time, and Toronto is three hours ahead of us. Since we left at two-o-two in the afternoon, it should be five-o-two in the afternoon here." (5)

"So, like, what," Crow said, "You think the mall is still open?"

"Unless there's some Canadian holiday that requires the place to be closed for some odd reason, I highly doubt the mall's closed," Yusei replied.

"Well hopefully we'll have some time to get some American money converted into Canadian money," Jack said, "Because I highly doubt that this place takes American money."

"Pfft, no need to worry about money, dudes," Crow replied, "I got us covered."

"…You got us covered," Kalin said in a tone of disbelief.

"Totally," Crow replied as he took out a wallet different than his usual wallet. Opening it, Crow took out a very thick wad of Canadian paper money. "See my good friends here?" Crow asked in a mischievous tone, "I think that they might come in handy here."

"…Normally, I'd ask what you're doing with a large amount of foreign money on hand," Yusei began, "But since we need at least a small amount of it to get the lemonade that Akiza wants, I'm going to put the subject off until later."

"Why don't we just head inside the mall, get Akiza her lemonade, and maybe do a little bit of shopping?" Kalin suggested. Turning around, Kalin said as he faced the mall, "I've always wanted to do some shopping at a mall as big as this."

"We should shop till we drop," Crow said as he proceeded to distribute his Canadian money evenly amongst himself and the other guys.

"This is awfully generous of you, Crow," Yusei remarked.

"Well hey," Crow replied, "Anything for the future father of…what were you and Akiza going to name your kid again?"

"Well we were considering Anahthyne if we had a girl," Yusei began in a mildly annoyed tone, "But now we're only considering boy names because the last time we went to the doctor, the doctor told us that we're having a boy, even though we wanted to be surprised."

"Sorry to hear that the surprise was spoiled," Crow replied, "But either way, you're having a kid!" Pumping a fist into the air, Crow said, "Let's hear it for the future father of Sephiroth Grelod Gideon Joffrey Dio Urkel!"

"Wait," Yusei said in a confused tone as he shook his head, "What?!"

"You mean Constantine," Kalin said to Crow.

"You're both wrong!" Jack stated, "Yusei's going to name his child after me! Jack Atlas!"

"You guys are arguing over what me and Akiza's son will be named?" Yusei asked, aching an eyebrow out of confusion.

"We're only trying to help," Kalin replied, "I mean, Jack, Crow and I are practically going to be the kid's uncles, for crying out loud."

"Or his fairy godmothers," Crow offered, "Except we're dudes. …Fairy god-dudes."

Chuckling, Yusei remarked, "As weird as your suggestions may be, I think it's really cool of you guys to go through the trouble for me. Thanks."

"No problem, Yusei," Jack said, "Now come on." Holding up his share of the Canadian money, Jack said, "We've got some shopping to do!"

"Right," Yusei replied as he gave a nod of acknowledgment to Jack before the four guys walked into the Galleria Shopping Mall.

* * *

The first store that the guys decided to visit was a clothing store called the Khaki Barn, which Kalin insisted on stopping off at as soon as he saw it. "Well I'm sorry, but I need to get some new khakis," Kalin replied as he and the guys walked into the store.

When the guys walked in, someone off to the side said, "Welcome to the Khaki Barn!"

"WAAAAA!" Crow cried out in alarm as he quickly turned to throw a punch in the direction that the greeting came from; as a result, Crow struck a girl in the left eye. This girl had her long blonde hair held back by a blue hairband. She also wore a red t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. "Holy shit!" Crow swore at the girl, "Don't sneak up on people like that! You can get a lot worse than a punch to the eye."

"I'll…I'll try to remember that in the future," the girl replied in a somewhat dazed tone.

"My goodness, miss," Kalin said in a worried tone to the girl that Crow punched, "I am so sorry about what my friend just did!"

"It's…it's okay," the girl said as she took down the hand that was covering her left eye. There was no swelling, but there was some bruising. "I don't look too bad, do I?" the girl asked, but before Kalin could answer, another girl came walking out from a back area of the store. This girl had dark hair that seemed purple in color, somewhat fair skin, and eyes that denoted an oriental heritage of some sort.

The purple-haired girl wore a white tank-top, a pair of baggy looking cargo jeans, white shoes that are disappearing under the ends of the legs of said jeans, and various accessories, including a necklace, multiple piercings in one ear, and a nose ring. The purple-haired girl was currently looking at a clip board she was holding. "Hey Kirsten," the purple-haired girl began without looking up from her clipboard, "Did we order those-"

The girl stopped short upon seeing the bruising over the girl's left eye. After starring at it for a few seconds, the purple-haired girl burst out laughing. "Damn, Kirsten," the purple-haired girl laughed, "You look like you got hit by a fly ball or whatever the fuck Jen calls it!"

"I accidentally startled a customer, and this was their response," the first girl, apparently named Kristen, explained as she gestured to the guys, Crow specifically. Making her way for the store's back area, Kirsten said, "Can you handle them for me, Nikki? My eye needs an ice pack."

"Heh," laughed the purple-haired girl, apparently named Nikki, as Kirsten walked off, "Sure thing." Turning to face the guys, Nikki said, "So what can I do for you gentlemen?"

"First off," Kalin began, "I would like to apologize for my friend Crow punching your co-worker in the eye."

"It's no problem," Nikki replied in an understanding tone, holding up a hand to halt any further protest. With a slightly amused chuckle, Nikki continued, "In fact, I think that-"

"Hey Nikki," another girl's voice called out, prompting the guys and Nikki to turn and see two more girls come walking over. They were both dressed identically to Kristen, and both of them even had blonde hair, same as Kirsten. However, one girl had her blonde hair held back with an elastic band, and the other girl didn't have anything holding her hair back at all. It was the girl who didn't have her hair held back who was talking.

"Kirsten just walked past us and she was sporting a bruised eye," the girl who was talking began, "You didn't lose your temper ag-"

"Holy shit, they're multiplying!" Crow exclaimed in alarm as he pointed to the two girls that just walked onto the scene, "You guys and that girl I punched in the face weren't made in the cloning facilities on Kamino, were you?" (6)

"Wait, what?" said the girl with her hair held back with an elastic band.

"Kamino is a mostly aquatic planet where the clone army of the galactic republic is created, raised and trained," the girl who didn't have her hair held up began to explain, "Although they were the reason the galactic republic could even take part in the clone wars, the natives of Kamino were…" Seeing the blank, confused stare she was getting from her fellow blondes, the girl who didn't have her hair held up said, "Oh, umm, fashion!"

"Fashion!" the girl with the elastic band exclaimed cheerfully, leading both blonde girls to squeal in delight, making Nikki and the guys aside from Kalin wince in pain.

* * *

As Yusei and the others waked, something caught Jack's eye. "Woah, you guys," Jack said as he pointed to what got his attention, "Take a look at this." At that prompting, Yusei and the others turned their heads to see what appeared to have once been a video store with an Indian motif, but was now shut down. "The bloody hell happened here, I wonder?" Jack remarked to the guys.

"Taj Mahome Video was shut down," a female voice said from behind the guys, making them jump a little as they turned to see a somewhat geeky-looking girl wearing a white shirt, red pants, brown shoes, a noticeable retainer, and a taco hat.

"What for?" Jack asked.

"Two guys who used to work there, Blade and Christo, insist it's because video stores are becoming more and more obsolete," the geeky girl replied, "And while that claim does hold some degree of truth, the store was actually shut down because the owner couldn't keep up with the monthly expenses. It didn't help that people were growing tired of Blade and Christo's pompous attitudes."

"Are there any places in the mall where we can buy DVD movies?" Yusei asked, "There's this movie that my wife has been dying to see, and I'm hoping to find it for her."

"The only place that comes to my mind is Stereo Shack," the geeky girl replied. Turning around, the geeky girl pointed in a random direction and said, "If you go straight that way then take the first left you come across, you'll find Stereo Shack."

"Thanks for the directions, girl with a taco hat," Crow said with a playful salute.

"I have a name, you know," the geeky girl replied in a mildly annoyed tone.

"Which you failed to provide us with," Crow retorted. The geeky girl looked like she was about to argue, but she immediately realized that Crow had a point.

"…Sorry about that," the geeky girl replied, "The name's Julie. If you guys stop by the food court for something to eat, you should try Wonder Taco. I work there."

"Well tacos _are_ one of the god foods," Crow remarked. Turning to face the other guys, Crow said, "What do you guys think?"

"Yeah, we can get something to eat from Wonder Taco when we're done with all of our shopping," Yusei replied, "And since we'll be at the food court at that time, we can swing by that lemonade stand to get Akiza the drink she wanted." After thanking Julie for her directions, the guys proceeded to make their way over to Stereo Shack.

* * *

A short while later, the guys were seen walking out of Stereo Shack. "Wow, they actually had the movie Akiza's been wanting," Yusei remarked in a mildly amazed tone, "And the store's selection of various other electronics was pretty amazing as well."

"I especially liked that they not only sold spy cameras, but had a model that will serve my needs just fine," Crow remarked in an impressed tone as he held up a shopping bag from the store. (7)

"Well now that that's been settled," Jack began, "I'd like to try and find a-" Jack was cut off when he and the other guys saw someone stumbling out of a nearby store. This person was a male teenager who looked to be of Hispanic heritage. He had bluish-looking dark hair and wore a dark purplish shirt with white writing on the chest area, a pair of blue jeans, and dark-colored shoes. The teenager shook his head as if to try and refocus himself before he dusted his shirt off.

"Well there's job number one-hundred and seventeen down the drain," the teenager remarked to himself, "Maybe I should stop conducing side-businesses when I have an actual job."

"Excuse me, young man," Yusei said as he and the guys walked up to him, "But are you okay? You seemed to have been stumbling rather badly just now."

"Ehh, I just got fired from my job," the teen replied in a dismissive tone, "It's no biggie. Happens to me all the time."

"It worries me that you're so casual about being fired so many times," Crow remarked.

Chuckling in a mildly amused tone, the teen said to the guys, "This mall has 936 businesses, and I have held employment at one-hundred and seventeen of them. (8) And that doesn't even include the various side-jobs that I've carried out. Trust me when I say that it shouldn't prove to be a challenge for me to find a new job or some other source of employment."

"Well never let it be said that you aren't optimistic," Yusei remarked, amazed that a teen who had been fired so many times had such a bright outlook on his life.

"Thanks, dude," the teen replied, "I'm Jonesy, by the way."

Smiling, Yusei said, "The name's Yusei."

"You guys need helping finding any particular store?" Jonesy asked, "Since I've been employed all over the mall, I know where pretty much every store is located."

"Well I was hoping to mind a store that could possibly carry luxury bubble bath soap," Jack remarked.

"I actually worked at a store that sold that," Jonesy said. Turning around, Jonesy gestured for the guys to follow him as he said, "Right this way, guys!"

…

After a few minutes of walking, Jonesy led the guys to one of the stores he previous worked at. "Well then, here we are," Jonesy remarked as he gestured to the store, "This place should be able to cover all of your bath time needs."

"Wow, thanks," Jack said, "You know, it's a nice change of pace when you ask someone for help finding something, instead of being given vague directions, the person actually shows you where the thing you're looking for is." Handing Jonesy a Canadian bill of small denomination, Jack said, "Get yourself a soda, kid."

"Thanks, dude!" Jonesy said before taking off. As he walked away, Jonesy could be heard humming to himself in a contemplating manner.

After Jonesy was gone, the four guys walked into the store that they were led to, with Jack commenting, "What a sweet kid."

* * *

After their time at the store Jack wanted to find, the guys took care of shopping at a few more stores in the mall before they made their way over to the food court to grab lunch (which, given the time zone, was something of a late lunch slash early dinner). After getting meals from Wonder Taco, the four guys found a table in the food court to sit down at. "Ah, tacos," Crow said in a content tone as he picked up one of the tacos on his tray, "One of the finest examples of Canadian cuisine."

"Tacos originate from Mexico, Crow," Kalin pointed out.

"Canadian cuisine," Crow reiterated right before he took a bite out of his taco. After chewing and swallowing his mouthful of taco, Crow said, "Mmm, you can really taste the scorn of the person who made the taco."

"My taco has dirt in in," Jack remarked as he looked in one of his tacos.

"I think someone spit in mine," Kalin remarked in disgust while looking at one of the tacos that he got.

"The burrito that I got isn't even a burrito," Yusei said, "It's a sticky note that says fuck you, with a remarkably well-drawn picture of Hello Kitty flipping me off underneath."

"Canadian cuisine," Crow repeated right before he took another bite out of his taco. Seeing Crow eat the food he got without complaining, Jack asked Crow to set the taco back down, then he proceeded to get a good look at Crow's food.

"Birdbrain is the only one who doesn't have anything messed up with his order," Jack said to the other guys. Looking to Crow, Jack half-asked half-demanded, "What the bloody hell makes you so damn special?"

"Well you made that comment about the taco hat that Julie has to wear for her job," Crow pointed out.

"It's a fucking goofy hat," Jack retorted.

"No, it was an awesome hat, and I was in the right to call you out on making fun of Julie," Crow replied, "Also, I didn't see either Yusei or Kalin trying to chew you out."

"I was going to, but the instant you started getting up in Jack's face, I assumed that it was all one big argument between you and Jack like you guys always have, so I decided to leave things be," Yusei remarked.

As the guys talked over their lunches (which were more or less ruined except for Crow's), they heard Nikki's familiar voice call out, "Hey, you're those guys who were at Khaki Barn earlier!" Hearing the girl's familiar voice, the guys turned their heads in the direction Nikki's voice came from. As such, they saw Nikki approach with a group of other teens.

The first teen of the group was a girl who had long orange-red hair and wore what looked like a full coach's uniform. The second teen was a dark-skinned boy who wore a long-sleeved dark reddish sweater of some kind, Capri pants, and blue shoes. The third teen of the group was a fair skinned girl with blonde hair; this girl wore a pink top, a blue skirt and a pair of pink high heels. The fourth teen of the group was a boy with fair skin and blonde hair. He wore a black beanie, a dark long-sleeved shirt under a dark cream-colored t-shirt (9), dark-blue shorts whose legs reached halfway down the boy's shins, blue sneakers and bluish-colored socks. The fifth teen of the group was Jonesy.

"Hey, you're that guy who asked me for direction to the bath supplies store," Jonesy said while pointing at Jack, "Thanks again for the tip! It gave me an idea for a new side-business I could run." Reaching into the right front pocket of his pants, Jonesy pulled out a wad of ten-thousand dollars in Canadian money. "Look at how much I was able to make by showing people to stores in the mall that they were trying to find," Jonesy said, "Who knew that I would have made this much over the course of a single afternoon? Granted, my feet probably want to kill me in my sleep for all of the walking I did, but it was worth it!"

Seeing the wad of money that Jonesy held, the dark-skinned teen looked at it with a surprised look; even without actually counting it out, the dark-skinned teen realized that Jonesy had made ten-thousand dollars. "You made that much just by showing people around in the mall?" the dark-skinned teen said to Jonesy, clearly surprised.

"It's like I've been saying dude," the blonde male teen said, sounding like he was a surfer dude of some sort, "Like a tall snowy mountain, you need a guide to survive in the mall."

"Wait, so you're the one who gave Jonesy the idea for his latest self-employment venture?" the red-haired girl said in an accusatory tone to Jack while pointing at him, "Also, how do you guys know Nikki?"

"The short one with the broom-like hair punched one of my co-workers in the eye when she startled him," Nikki explained to her friend with a chuckle while pointing to Crow, "You had to have been there, Jen."

"I take it that these are your friends, young lady?" Yusei said to Nikki.

Nodding in the affirmative, Nikki said, "You guys apparently already know Jonesy, who I am actually dating." Gesturing to the red-haired teen, the dark-skinned teen, the blonde girl and the blonde boy in respective order, Nikki said, "And these are our friends Jen, Wyatt, Caitlin, and Jude."

"Does Jen work as a coach or something?" Kalin asked.

Sighing, Jen explained, "No, I just work at a sporting goods store called the Penalty Box as the assistant manager, and I just got off of work for the day. This is the outfit I have to wear."

"Well I think it looks nice on you," Kalin remarked.

Giggling somewhat, Jen said, "Thanks."

"We're all done with work for the day, so you guys wanna hang out and chill?" Wyatt offered.

"Ehh, we got some time," Yusei remarked as he looked at his watch, "What do you guys think?"

"I see no problem with that," Jack agreed before gesturing for the teens to join them.

…

"You got a drawing of Hello kitty flipping you off while saying 'fuck you'?" Jonesy said to Yusei, "Oh man, that beats the drawing I got in place of a taco I ordered this one time from Wonder Taco. It was Calvin peeing on the phrase 'this is you, you're being peed on'."

"It certainly beats out the drawing I got of two stick figures where one was kicking the other in the groin," Jude remarked, "The one that was getting kicked had an arrow pointing to it that identified the stick figure as me."

"It amazes me that she hasn't gotten fired yet," Jen remarked.

"I think it has mostly to do with the fact that she's pretty much the only person willing to wear the taco hat," Crow pointed out, "And by the way, it's an awesome hat. Hell, if they sell taco hats just like that, I'd be willing to buy one for myself."

Seeing the confused looks on the faces of the teens, Jack said to them, "Birdbrain here is very easily amused."

"Life is amusing, if you think about it," Jude remarked, "I mean, one minute you're laughing at taco hats, and the next you're exchanging stories about inappropriate notes that you got in place of the food you ordered from a Mexican food restaurant at the mall."

"Clearly you are one of the wisest of sages, my friend," Crow remarked as he pointed to Jude, who acknowledged the praise with a simple nod.

"Hey boys, the lemonades are ready!" Caitlin called out, prompting Yusei and the other guys to get up and walk over to a giant lemon stand in the food court where Caitlin worked. "You guys seriously came here because one of you wanted to buy a lemonade from the Big Squeeze?" Caitlin asked the guys in a mildly surprised tone as she handed them a total of five lemonades.

"Yusei's pregnant wife was actually craving a lemonade from this particular booth," Jack explained to Caitlin while pointing to Yusei, "Yusei, Kalin, Crow and I all figured that we might as well try the lemonade ourselves to see what the big deal was."

"That explains why four guys would order five drinks," Nikki remarked.

"EEEEEEEEEE!" Caitlin squealed excitedly as she hopped up and down, "Who cares about that? One of these guys is going to be a dad!"

Smiling in good nature, Yusei replied, "Thanks for the-" Yusei was cut off when his phone went off in his jacket pocket. Pulling out his smartphone and checking it, Yusei said, "Oh, I'm getting a call from Dukey." Answering the call, Yusei said, "Hey Dukey, what happing, my good…ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Yusei?" Jack asked in a concerned tone, "Why the sudden change in tone?"

"I'll talk to you later," Yusei said into his phone before ending the call and putting the phone away. Turning to face the guys, Yusei said, "Jack, Crow, Kalin, we have to go NOW. Akiza's water just broke! She's going into labor!"

"Oh shit!" Crow exclaimed, "We gotta haul ass then!" The guys then gathered all of their bags from their shopping, with Kalin handling Yusei's bags so that the soon-to-be father can carry the lemonade. The four guys eventually made their way to the front parking lot of the mall, where Yusei parked the Volkswagen van.

"Okay, dudes," Crow began when the guys reached the Volkswagen, "We left the Golden Tiger Claws in the Volkswagen, so we should be set to-" Crow was cut off when a sniper bullet shot him in the head, killing him and making him drop the two bags he was carrying. Luckily, nothing spilled from the bags.

"Holy shit!" Kalin exclaimed out of alarm, "Crow's just been sniped!"

"Who cares?!" Yusei nearly exclaimed, "My wife is going into labor! Just chuck Crow's dead body into the back of the van!" The guys loaded Crow's body into the back of the van, set the bags from their shopping on top of Crow, closed the back of the van, then they made their way out of Toronto and back to New Domino. After they disappeared into the tear in the fabric of space that Kalin made with the Golden Tiger Claws, the view switched to a secluded spot where two people, Ghoulia Yelps and Kjersti Trollson, were laying on their stomachs. Ghoulia was manning a sniper rifle.

"Yes!" Ghoulia said as she pumped a fist into the air, "I got that bastard!" (10)

"You know, Ghoulia," Kjersti began in a mildly puzzled tone, "You might want to consider letting people know that not only can you speak normally, but the whole thing you have going on about slow moving, bad posture and the 'stiff face' thing is all just an act."

"I like being underestimated," Ghoulia explained, "Gives me a consistent element of surprise."

"Ah, so that's what you're trying to get at," Kjersti replied in an understanding tone as she and her undead friend high-fived each other.

* * *

Over at the hospital in New Domino, Yusei sat in a chair besides the hospital bed that Akiza laid in. In her arms, Akiza held her and Yusei's newly born son, who had settled down after being born. Jack, Kalin, Carly Carmine, Dukey and the wonder twins were in the room with the newly minted parents.

"Oh, this is one of the happiest moments that I've ever witnessed!" Kalin exclaimed as he started to cry tears of joy. Like his human best friend, Dukey was also crying tears of joy; the talking dog even had a box of tissues on hand, and was using a tissue to blow his nose.

"Have you two even thought of a name for the little rug rat yet?" Jack asked Yusei and Akiza.

"Actually, Jack," Yusei said, "I was talking the matter over with Akiza, and she told me she wanted to use one of the ideas for names for boys that Dukey came up with."

"Really?" Dukey remarked between tissues, "Why Yusei, Akiza, I'm flattered. Which name did you guys have in mind?"

"I really liked Alphonse," Akiza replied with a smile, albeit one that was _very_ tired. The new mom was also a bit sweaty, not to mention kind of red in the face. But then again, the woman had just given birth, for crying out loud.

"Hey guys" Brianna Stone said as she walked into the room, "I just got back with the baby's birth certificate."

"Well alright," Yusei said as he got up to receive the birth certificate from Brianna, "I hope you remembered how to spell Alphonse."

"Don't worry, I got everything taken care of," Brianna replied. With something of an amused smirk, Brianna added, "Dad."

"Oh ha," Yusei dismissed in a casual yet mildly amused tone as he looked at his son's birth certificate, "At least you-" Yusei stopped short upon seeing the name written for his son on the birth certificate; apparently, the name of Yusei and Akiza's son had been entered as Alphonse Jack Atlas Constantine Sephiroth Grelod Gideon Joffrey Dio Urkel Fudo.

"…Goddamn it," Yusei muttered to himself in a mildly annoyed tone.

END, CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Author's notes:

(1) Fun Fact: Bread and butter is my favorite flavor of pickles.

(2) You would not _believe_ how much time I spent researching various shows and game just to come up with this name.

(3) This is the best guess that most people have on the location.

(4) The six greatest countries on Earth according to Crow are Japan, Mexico, Canada, Germany, Hungary and France. They are not listed in any specific order.

(5) I looked it up; there really is a three-hour difference between San Francisco time and Toronto time.

(6) Begun, the clone wars have.

(7) I looked it up; Stereo Shack actually sells spy cameras.

(8) I did the math; that's one-eighth of the total businesses at the mall.

(9) I was taking a guess here; the full-body picture of Jude wasn't all that clear, alright?!

(10) She sounds an awful lot like sixteen-year-old Hinata Hyuga.

Congratulations, Yusei. You're a dad now. In all seriousness, this chapter took me a bit of time to do compared to some of my other chapters. I've got some brainstorming to do for chapter seventeen now, but I'll try to have it ready within a reasonable amount of time.

I could use a snack to help me write, though. Maybe a jawbreaker.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter seventeen: Yusei and friends do Peach Creek

It was late evening to very early in the night one day over in New Domino City, a suburb located in San Francisco, California. There was this bar slash nightclub called ' _The Crow_ ' _s Nest_ ' that was fairly popular, despite the somewhat unorthodox business strategy the place had by having a pirate theme that seemed more at home in a family friendly restaurant. The bar was frequented by Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, four friends who are roommates that each cover an equal share of the expenses of their place of residence, the Atlas penthouse. In fact, the guys were all at ' _The Crow_ ' _s Nest_ ' right now.

"Let's hear it for Yusei, dudes!" Crow said as he raised a beer mug in a toast to Yusei, prompting Jack, Kalin and even some random nearby bar patrons to do the same.

"Thanks, guys," Yusei replied as he reached for his own mug of beer.

"Well hey now, Yusei," Crow replied, "Now that Akiza has given birth to Alphonse Jack Atlas Constantine Sephiroth Grelod Gideon Joffrey Dio Urkel, that means that-"

"We're just going to call him Al or Alphonse for short," Yusei interrupted, "We'll only refer to him by his full name if he's in trouble."

"Being referred to by such a name might be a punishment in and of itself, Yusei," Jack remarked, "But seriously. Why did you and Akiza let Brianna get away with giving the kid that name?"

"Mostly because we were just too happy to finally be parents," Yusei explained, "Besides, at least Brianna had the decency to put the name we wanted first on the birth certificate."

"That's my girlfriend for you, dude," Crow remarked with a hint of pride in his tone, "The most considerate woman in the world."

"She wanted to take Akiza drinking with her while Akiza was pregnant," Yusei pointed out.

"Most considerate woman in the world," Crow repeated before he took a swig from his beer mug. Yusei turned his attention back to his own mug of beer, realizing that trying to argue the point with Crow was a lost cause. (1) Even so, Yusei was still on a high of happiness; as he had said, Yusei and Akiza recently became parents when Akiza gave birth to her and Yusei's son, who they named Alphonse because it was one of the male names that Kalin's talking dog best friend Dukey came up with and Akiza really liked it. Even with the slight metaphorical road bump that was Brianna giving Alphonse a ridiculously long ridiculous full name, Yusei and Akiza still could not be happier.

…And Yusei had never been more worried. He was not only a husband to Akiza, but a father to Alphonse as well. The ace turbo duelist was finding life as a family man to be a much greater challenge than any duel he had ever been in. As Yusei contemplated the thoughts in his head, Brianna Stone, the girlfriend of Crow, came walking out of the women's restroom of the bar that everyone was at.

"Sorry about taking so long, babe," Brianna said as she pecked Crow on the cheek, "But I had to drop some black friends off at the pool."

"And people think men are the grosser gender," Jack muttered to himself, too quietly for anyone else to hear, before he took a swig rom his mug of beer.

"Now that you're here Brianna, we can make the announcement," Crow said.

"Announcement?" Yusei repeated aloud and in a confused and mildly worried tone, "What announcement?"

Without responding to Yusei's question, Crow took an empty snack dish that had nuts in it and used it in lieu of a fork to tap against the side of his beer mug, getting the attention of pretty much every patron in the bar. "May I have your attention please!" Crow announced to everyone in the bar, "I have a special announcement!" Gesturing to Yusei, Crow said, "My pal here, Yusei Fudo, has just celebrated something very special, that being the birth of his first child! Let's hear it for the new dad among us!"

The patrons of the bar, all of them being in generally good spirits, went along with what Crow was saying and gave a few cheers of 'hip, hip, hooray!' in unison. A few people even gave sincere cheers of congratulations to Yusei for becoming a dad. "Now then, a round of drinks for everyone!" Crow declared. Jerking a thumb at Jack, Crow added, "It's on him!"

"Shouldn't the new dad be covering the celebratory round of drinks?" one random patron asked, "I mean, that's sort of the custom, right?"

"Although what you said holds a lot of merit, keep in mind that most of Yusei's money will have to go to raising his new son," Crow explained, "At most, he can only buy one or two mugs worth of beer tonight."

"That's no bloody excuse for pushing the bill onto my plate, Birdbrain!" Jack exclaimed angrily.

"Relax, Jack," Kalin remarked, "I'll help you cover the tab, alright?"

"At least someone has the decency to be considerate," Jack remarked to Kalin, "Thanks for the save, Kalin."

And so, the good times at the bar went on. Toasts were made, songs were sung, and beer was consumed. (2) As the night went on, the guys and Brianna were still sitting at the counter, with Crow, Brianna and (surprisingly) Jack all having consumed enough beer to be drunk.

"C-C-Crow, sweetness," Brianna said with some drunkenness-induced stammering, "W-W-Would you still l-love me if I were f-f-f-fat?"

"Brianna, s-s-sweetheart," Crow replied in a drunken stammer, "My previous re-relationship was with someone who w-was plus-sized. Fat d-don't bother me in the l-l-least."

"So, y-you would be willing t-t-to have sex with me if I were f-fat?" Brianna asked drunkenly before letting out a belch.

"Fuck yesh," Crow said in a slurred tone before falling face first onto the surface of the bar counter they were all sitting at, snoring rather loudly.

"…Well at least we know a little bit more about Crow's preferences," Yusei remarked to Kalin in an amused sarcastic tone.

"We do indeed, Yusei," Kalin agreed in the same tone. Turning to face Jack, Kalin said, "How about you, Jack?"

"I hate politics!" Jack declared drunkenly before leaning to the side and throwing up.

"Aaaaaaand we have Jack's opinion on our nation's government," Yusei replied in the amused sarcastic tone that he and Kalin have been using, drawing a laugh out of Kalin. As the two friends clanged their beer mugs together, Yusei and Kalin heard two men in the background arguing. Turning around, they saw one of the men shove the other intentionally. "Uh oh," Yusei remarked, "Looks like we ought to get go-"

Yusei was cut off when the man who was shoved punched the man who shoved him across the face. "Cover?" Kalin suggested to Yusei.

"Cover," Yusei repeated in a tone of agreement as he and Kalin made their way to the nearest unoccupied table to hide under it, figuring that it was okay to leave the drunken members of their group behind as, even when intoxicated, Jack, Crow and Brianna are all capable of covering themselves in a barfight. "Won't this make for an interesting story to tell everyone when we get back to the penthouse, eh?" Yusei remarked to Kalin as they hid under the table they got to.

…

A few minutes later, most of the bar patrons were standing outside of the bar. Yusei and Kalin had found Jack, Crow and Brianna standing off to the side, watching as some of the bar patrons were loaded into the back of police cruisers. "Wow, I'm surprised that you aren't among those getting arrested, Crow," Yusei remarked.

"Personally, I'd have to agree with you on that one, Yusei," Crow said.

"And you don't sound drunk anymore," Kalin noted.

"Barfights that turn fatal have a very potent tendency to sober people up quickly," Crow explained.

"Well that makes a whole lot of wait a minute," Yusei replied, deviating midsentence when he realized what Crow had said, "What do you mean 'turn fatal'?"

"There was this one guy who I thought grabbed my butt during the fight," Brianna explained while blushing in embarrassment, "And I thought that he was going to rape me, so Crow killed the man to protect my maiden virtue."

"The man went down like a bitch, too," Crow commented with a chuckle, "I mean, seriously. It's like he only had one hit point or something. I think the doofus is still lying on the floor in the bar if'n you want to go inside and take a look."

Yusei, Jack and Kalin exchanged unsure looks with each other before they turned their attention back to Crow. "…Alright, Birdbrain," Jack remarked, "Let's go check out whoever you killed this time."

The four guys went back into the bar, with Kalin giving the excuse that he left his other jacket inside. Once inside, they saw a male adult who couldn't be any older than themselves laying on the floor dead. He wore a yellow sports jersey under a red flannel jacket, khaki pants, a brown newsboy cap, and greenish shoes. The man's head was laying on its side, with the right side facing up; a pair of sunglasses hung off of the man's right ear by the right temple. The left side of the man's head laid in a small puddle of blood on the floor of the bar.

"…Yup," Crow said as he gestured to the dead man lying on the floor of the bar, "That there is the man who had the gull to grab Brianna's butt."

"Although what he did was unquestionably deplorable, was it really necessary to kill the man?" Jack asked, "I mean, what if he just accidentally brushed against Brianna's butt, and she just blew things out of proportion? Brianna did say that the man had supposedly grabbed her butt during the fight, so there's a good chance that it may have been a total accident."

"Accident or not, he touched Brianna's ass, which meant that his ass was grass," Crow replied.

"Well never let it be said that you don't look out for those close to you," Yusei remarked as he looked around. As Kalin found his jacket that he left in the bar (it was under the table that he and Yusei hid under during the barfight), a police officer came walking up to the guys.

"Are the four of you familiar with the deceased here?" the officer asked the guys as he pointed to the dead man lying on the floor.

"I'm familiar with him" Crow replied, "Why do you ask?" In response, the officer handed Crow a printed sheet of paper.

"The deceased has family living at this address in a neighborhood called Peach Creek," the officer explained, "Think you can do the New Domino Police Department a favor and go inform the deceased's family about their loss?"

Giving the police officer a salute, Crow said, "You can count on me, officer." The police officer nodded in acknowledgement before he turned around and walked away. Turning to face the guys, Crow said, "Boys, looks like we got ourselves a quest on our hands."

"What, that you have to inform the family of the man that you killed that you killed someone in their family?" Jack asked.

Waving his hand at Jack in a dismissive manner, Crow replied, "Details."

* * *

The following morning, Yusei and the guys used the Golden Tiger Claws to teleport over to Peach Creek via driving Yusei's Volkswagen van into the tear that they made. Once parked on next to the curb in a construction area, the guys got out right as the tear they drove out of vanished. "Okay, we're here now," Yusei said as he locked up the Volkswagen, "Crow, do you still have that sheet of paper the officer gave you last night?"

"You mean this?" Crow replied as he took out a folded-up sheet of paper and handed it to Yusei. Unfolding the sheet of paper, Yusei quickly read it.

"Okay guys," Yusei remarked as he folded up the sheet up paper and slipped it into a back pocket on his pants, "We're looking for 220 Rethink Avenue." (3)

"Well hopefully we can find someone who can give us directions," Jack said, "I don't know about you, but I just want to find this place, inform the guy's next of kin that the guy died, give them a few words of sympathy as they will undoubtedly be upset to hear the news, then get the hell out of dodge."

"Excuse me, sirs, but can I help you?" a young female voice called out, getting the guys to turn to see who it was. As such, Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin saw a young girl of approximately the same age as the wonder twins Leo and Luna come walking up. She had blonde hair and fair skin, and wore a black t-shirt under a white tank-top, a pair of purplish jeans, and black shoes. She was also carrying a thing of Tupperware.

"Sorry young lady, but my friends and I are busy at the moment," Yusei said, "We're trying to find 220 Rethink Avenue, as we've been sent to deliver some rather bad news to the residents who live there."

"Wait a minute," the blonde girl said, "I know where that is. I can show you guys over if you'd like."

"That would be immensely helpful, thanks," Kalin said, "How do you know where that is, by the way?"

"That's where Eddy lives," the blonde girl replied, "He's one of the guys that I'm friends with."

"Oh, so a friend of yours lives there," Jack remarked, "Well isn't that convenient."

With a mildly unsure and worried look on her face, the blonde girl continued, "Umm, you guys said that you have some bad news to deliver to Eddy's place. What happened?"

"I'm afraid that we aren't at liberty to discuss that with anyone other than your friend Eddy and anyone else who lives at the address we're trying to find," Yusei replied.

Nodding once in understanding, the blonde girl replied, "Yeah, that seems fair, I suppose. So, you guys want I should show you over now?"

"That would be lovely, miss…" Crow said, but trailed off. "…Umm, what's your name, young lady?"

"I'm Nazz," the girl replied with a nod.

"Well then, Nazz," Yusei said, "My friends and I would like to get our business here in Peach Creek squared away."

"Of course," Nazz said as she gestured for the guys to follow her. Taking the cue, Yusei and the others proceeded to follow Nazz out of the area of the construction site they were at.

* * *

A few minutes later, Nazz had led the guys over to the address that they were trying to find. "Well, here's Eddy's place," Nazz said to Yusei, "You know, I was actually on my way here anyway to return this thing of Tupperware."

"Well I guess there's no harm in letting you return the Tupperware first before we deliver the news to your friend and his family," Yusei remarked.

Turning around, Yusei knocked on the front door. A few seconds later, the door was answered by a boy around the same age as Nazz. The boy had black hair and pale peach-colored fair skin, and wore a yellow polo shirt with a red stripe on the side, blue jeans, and red shoes. "Oh, hey Nazz," the boy greeted, "What can I-" The boy stopped midsentence when he noticed Yusei and the other guys. "Uhh…can I help you?" the boy said to the guys.

"Eddy," Nazz said to the boy in a somewhat concerned tone, "These guys are here because the say that they have bad news to deliver to you and your family." Handing Eddy the Tupperware, Nazz said in a regular tone, "Oh, and here's the Tupperware my mom borrowed from yours."

"Thanks," Eddy replied as he received the Tupperware from Nazz. After Nazz took her leave, Eddy turned his direction to the guys. "So, umm…" Eddy began, somewhat unsure of what to say, "…What happened?"

Taking out the sheet of paper he had put in his pants pocket earlier, Yusei unfolded it to check it for something. After finding what he was looking for, Yusei turned his attention from the paper to Eddy. "The news concerns your older brother," Yusei explained. Hearing this apparently had the effect of putting Eddy in a foul mood.

"What did that jerk do this time?" Eddy asked, a mild scowl forming on his face.

"That's…not a very high opinion you have of your older brother there," Kalin remarked in a concerned tone, "I take it that things aren't all that well between you and your brother?"

"Just get on with it, already," Eddy said as his tone took on a hint of annoyance, "What did he do? Did he get himself arrested? Is he stuck in a foreign country without the ability to get back without help from my family?"

"He was killed last night," Yusei stated in as businesslike of a tone as he could manage, "I'm sorry for your family's loss." The guys watched as Eddy's annoyed scowl morphed into a shocked expression that clearly showed that Eddy was having trouble on what he should think about the news that had just been delivered to him.

"…Oh," Eddy replied, "Umm, well…okay. My brother's…dead. Yeah, sure, okay."

"Are you going to be alright, little dude?" Crow asked.

"…Huh," Eddy said as he gently pushed his way past the guys before making a left and heading for a house that was on the outer end of the entrance to the cul-de-sac. Concerned about how Eddy was acting, Yusei and the others decided to follow him in hopes of being able to help him somehow.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a bedroom in one of the houses, two kids approximately Eddy's age were standing in front of a desk or dresser of some kind that had beakers and vials used for science. The first kid was a boy who had fair skin and wore a black beanie cap; some hair came out from underneath the hat in the back. The boy also wore a red t-shirt, purple shorts, long red socks, and a pair of light-blue colored shoes.

The second kid was a girl. This girl had fair skin and, surprisingly, blue hair, the bangs of which she allowed to cover one of her eyes. The girl wore a dark wristband on one of her wrists, a black tank-top that exposed her midriff, a pair of green pants held up with a pink belt, and black shoes. The girl also had her nails painted red. She watched as the boy, who was handling a small vial and a beaker, was carefully trying to pour the contents of the vial into the beaker, where it would mix with the contents already in there.

The boy was successful, and the two kids watched as the mixture in the beaker turned from a rosy red color to a pale pink color. "There we are," the boy said in a satisfied tone as he gently sat the beaker down on the desk slash dresser. Turning to face the girl, the boy said, "I'll just go procure a bottle to put the mix in, then I can give it to you so you can take it to your sister."

"Are you sure this science stuff will work?" the girl asked, tilting her head slightly to the left to show her confusion.

"I am certain," the boy replied, "When have I ever been-" the boy was cut off when a noise that sounded like someone was knocking on a door at least one floor lower could be heard. "Oh my, it seems I've got a visitor," the boy remarked. Heading for the door of the bedroom, the boy said, "Care to come along, Marie?"

"Sure thing," the girl, apparently named Marie, replied as she followed the boy out of the bedroom and down a flight of stairs to the ground floor. The boy looked through an eyehole on the door, and was surprised to see Eddy standing there.

"Eddy's here!" the boy said in a panicking tone as he turned to face the girl, "He can't find out we're secretly dating!"

"I'll go hide under your bed!" Marie said as she ran back up the stairs. Once Marie was up the stairs, the boy turned around to open the door. When he did, the boy saw that Eddy was accompanied by Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin.

"Hello, Eddy," the boy greeted. Turing his attention to the guys, the boy asked, "Umm, Eddy, I don't mean to be rude, but who are your friends here?"

"Hey, Double D," Eddy greeted in an emotionless monotone as he walked past the boy, apparently identified as Double D, and into the house.

"Umm, would it be okay if we came in?" Yusei asked Double D, "My friends and I came here to Peach Creek to inform Eddy's family of some rather troubling news." Gesturing to Eddy, who was now walking up the stairs, Yusei continued, "As soon as we told him the news, he started acting like this."

"Oh dear," Double D remarked in a concerned tone, "Yes, by all means, come in. Oh, I'm going to have to ask that you take your shows off first." After Yusei and the other guys all took their shoes off, they followed Double D up the stairs, and over to one of the rooms when Double D spotted Eddy walking into that room. "Eddy, are you okay?" Double D called out as he and the guys followed Eddy, eventually entering the bedroom Double D was in earlier. There they found Eddy sitting on the side of Double D's bed, an expression devoid of any emotion on his face.

"Eddy…" Double D said in a more concerned tone, "Are you okay?"

"I just found out my older brother's been killed, Double D," Eddy said, his tone not showing any emotion at all.

"He's been killed?!" Double D said in a shocked tone, "My goodness, Eddy, I am so sorry to hear that!"

"Yeah, that's why the guys and I came here to Peach Creek," Crow said as he walked over to Double D's bet and sat down next to Eddy on the boy's left, "We're the messengers sent to deliver the news of his brother's death."

"This is terrible," Double D said as he shook his head, "A death in the family is never a good thing."

"I know," Crow remarked to Double D. Crow turned his head to face Eddy; with his right hand, Crow patted Eddy on the back in a comforting, sympathetic manner. "You must be in shock by the news," Crow said in an understanding tone to Eddy, "Aren't you, young ma-" Crow was cut off when a loud fart sounded off from the area of Crow and Eddy. "…That wasn't me," Crow said instantly.

"He who denied it supplied it, Crow," Kalin remarked.

"Now hang on there a minute, Kalin," Jack said, "As much as I always enjoy getting on Birdbrain's case for whatever reason, even I have to point out that Crow always takes credits for his farts, and he also occasionally takes credit for farts that he didn't make. So, if he's denying a fart, then chances are that he didn't really fart."

"Well it certainly wasn't me," Eddy remarked, just the barest hint of emotion showing through his tone.

"We can discuss who farted and who didn't fart later," Yusei said to everyone as a whole, "The point here is that Eddy is trying to come to terms with the fact that his older brother's been killed, and that we need to provide as much of our support and understanding as we can to him, so as to help him get through the troubled times he's bound to face."

"Indeed," Double D agreed with a nod, "Why don't you guys take Eddy back to his place for now? I'll join you there in a bit."

"Alright," Crow remarked as he got up, getting Eddy to follow him and the other guys out of Double D's bedroom. The group was then escorted by Double D out of the house. After he closed the front door behind them, Double D turned back around just in time to see Marie appear at the top of the staircase. Holding onto the railing of the staircase, Marie gasped loudly, as if she were trying to breathe after holding her breath for a decent length of time.

"Holy crap!" Marie exclaimed, "That's the last time I hide under someone's bed after eating a supreme burrito from Taco Hut!"

* * *

Over at Eddy's house, Yusei and the guys stood in one of the bedrooms with Eddy. This bedroom had a car in it for some reason, along with a refrigerator, a shelf with various oddities on it, a radiator, a harp, a stuffed camel for some reason, and for some other reason there was a toilet seat mounted on the wall; on either side of the toilet seat was a robotic arm, both of which also mounted on the wall.

"Well, this is my brother's room," Eddy said in an unsure tone, "Or rather, it _was_ his room."

"What do you plan to do with it?" Yusei asked.

"My mom will probably want to turn it into a guest room," Eddy remarked, "As for my dad, he's going to want to get rid of this stuff as soon as he can. He never really approved of the various odds and ends my brother collected."

"Well from the looks of things, I'd say you're going to be holding quite the yard sale," Jack remarked as he, Yusei and Kalin looked around. While he was looking around, Jack noticed that Crow was staring at the stuffed camel. "…Birdbrain, the hell are you doing staring at that camel for?" Jack asked.

"…Is the camel for sale?" Crow asked.

"…You want to buy the camel?" Jack said more than asked, his tone showing no surprise at all.

"I'm interested in the harp," Kalin admitted.

"Umm, sure, I guess," Eddy remarked, "I'd be glad to sell you guys the camel and the harp. In a mildly confused and unsure tone, Eddy continued, "Umm…make me an offer?"

Kalin walked over to the harp, inspecting it upon getting close enough. Sitting on the stool placed next to the harp, Kalin played a few notes, showing surprising skill at it. "It's in tune, surprisingly," Kalin remarked. Getting up off of the stool, Kalin said, "How about fifty dollars?"

"I'll give you twenty for the camel," Crow offered Eddy, "I'll also give you an additional five for each of the two hats the camel has on his head and back hump."

"What is it with you and weird hats, Birdbrain?" Jack asked, a confused incredulous look on the blonde turbo duelist's face.

"Yeah, those offers all sound good," Eddy remarked to Crow and Kalin.

"I'll go get the Volkswagen," Yusei said, "We've got to carry this stuff back home with us since we're apparently buying it."

* * *

Later, Jack, Crow and Kalin were in Eddy's front lawn; a few tables had been set up, and were laden with the various odds and ends from Eddy's brother's room. After Eddy came out of his house carrying a box holding the last of the objects from his brother's room, Yusei pulled up in his Volkswagen van. "Okay, let's load the harp, the hats and the camel into my van," Yusei said as he got out, "And wow, I cannot believe I just said that."

"The hats I can see a possible reason for," Jack remarked to Crow, "But the camel?! Why in the bloody hell do you want a fucking stuffed camel?!"

"I got this idea for a YouTube exclusive sitcom, and this camel would be one hell of a prop," Crow explained, "So yeah, the camel is essential, Jack." As Jack shook his head in confusion, Nazz came walking over to the yard sale Eddy was having. Nazz was also accompanied by a boy approximately her and Eddy's age. This boy had fair skin and orange-red hair, and he wore a red baseball cap turned backwards, a long-sleeved light green shirt, black shorts, white socks and black shoes. "Hey man," the boy greeted Eddy, "You having a yard sale?"

"Oh, 'sup Kevin, 'sup Nazz," Eddy replied when he saw the two kids approach, "Yeah, my dad's been wanting to get rid of all of the stuff my brother has in his room for the longest time. Now that my brother's been killed, my dad has the perfect excuse to do so."

"Your brother's been killed?!" Nazz nearly exclaimed out of shock, "My goodness, Eddy, I am so sorry to hear that!"

"Yeah man, that's a tough break," said the boy with Nazz, apparently named Kevin, "I mean, sure your older brother was nothing short of terrifying, but it still must be pretty hard to go through something like that."

"Is that the bad news you guys had to deliver to Eddy's family?" Nazz asked the guys.

"Unfortunately, yes," Yusei replied with a nod in the affirmative.

"I don't suppose you guys can tell us how Eddy's brother was killed, can you?" Nazz asked.

"Yeah, I'm actually kind of curious about that myself," Eddy remarked as he walked over, "How did my older brother bite it? Car crash? Mugging gone wrong? Freak accident?"

"He was killed in a bar fight," Crow explained.

"Must have been a really terrible fight if he got killed in it," Kevin remarked as he shook his head. Looking at the yard sale Eddy had set up, Kevin pointed to one of the tables and said, "Is that a blue wig you got for sale, dude?"

"Huh?" Eddy said as he looked over to where Kevin was pointing, "Oh yeah. That was on a wig holder on the shelf in my brother's room. You know, I've never figured out why my brother even got that wig in the first place."

"I'll give you five dollars for it," Kevin said.

"Wait a minute," Nazz said in a confused tone, "Kevin, why do you want to buy that blue wig?"

"I have an idea for a YouTube exclusive sitcom, and that wig would be perfect for it," Kevin explained as he fished a five-dollar bill and handed it to Eddy.

"Well how about that, Eddy?" Kalin remarked in a mildly amazed tone that was clearly meant to convey praise, "Counting the camel, hats and harp that you sold to me and Crow, you already made-" Kalin was cut off when a boy in the neighborhood came running by. This boy had fair skin that seemed to have something of a yellow hue to it, and orange hair that was in a very short buzzcut. He wore a red and white stripped t-shirt under a green jacket, blue pants, and black shoes. The boy was very clearly running away from something that frightened him, as he was also screaming in fear.

"KANKER!" the boy screamed in fright as he ran through the yard sale, knocking into Kalin with such force that Kalin was thrown into the air a good few dozen feet. "RUN AWAY!" the boy screamed in fear as he ran into the distance, "THE END IS NIGH!" After that boy disappeared into the horizon, Double D came running up to the yard sale. Stopping next to Yusei, Double D had to catch his breath.

"…What was that all about?" Yusei asked Double D as he pointed in the direction that the screaming boy ran off into.

"Oh, that was me and Eddy's friend Ed," Double D explained as he panted with exhaustion, "He was just frightened by the appearance of a girl from the nearby trailer park is all."

"Which one was it, dude?" Kevin asked, looking around out of mild alarm. Nazz and Eddy were also likewise alarmed by the possibility of encountering the girl from the trailer park.

"It was Marie," Double D replied, "You see, a pet belonging to her had found its way into my family's backyard and-" (4) Double D was cut off when Kalin landed with a rather hard thud on the roof of Yusei's Volkswagen van, setting off the alarm that Yusei had installed. Turning off the alarm, Yusei got to Kalin and checked for a pulse.

"Kalin's dead," Yusei remarked in a mildly grim tone as he walked back over to Jack and Crow, "He must have hit the roof pretty damn hard if the impact killed him."

"Are we going to keep the harp that Kalin bought?" Jack asked, "Because I really don't see much of a reason to keep the thing."

END, CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Author's Notes:

(1) Having any sort of argument with Crow in the first place is a lost cause.

(2) Drink responsibly.

(3) This is what the address is stated to be in the series proper.

(4) Double D's story about Marie's pet was a lie that he was fabricating.

Well there's chapter seventeen done and over with. Sorry if some of you were expecting to see at least all of the cul-de-sac kids at least once each at some point, but I couldn't really think of how to include them into the plot without making it obvious that they were there just to be there; even then, I feel like Ed was in this chapter just for that reason. Well anywho, the next chapter will see the guys heading on another adventure to help the neighbor kids who live next door to them.

Huh…I wonder what they're going to do today.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.

Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours

Chapter eighteen: Yusei and friends do Danville

It was a fine enough morning at the Atlas penthouse one day in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. As per usual, the guys who lived at the penthouse, Yusei Fudo, Jack Atlas, Crow Hogan and Kalin Kessler, were having breakfast at the dining table. Along with them was Dukey, Kalin's talking dog best friend; as per usual, the talking dog was seated next to Kalin, drinking from a mug of freshly brewed coffee.

At the one end of the table was Akiza Fudo (nee Izinski), the girlfriend-turned-wife of Yusei. Next to the chair that Akiza sat in was a high chair in which Yusei and Akiza's infant son Alphonse sat; Akiza was currently finishing up feeding the baby. "Hey Yusei," Akiza began as she turned to face her husband, "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"Is this about the stuffed camel that Crow bought at a yard sale?" Yusei asked.

"No, and as long as Crow keeps it in his and Brianna's room, I couldn't care less about it," Akiza replied. Taking a breath, Akiza said, "I think we ought to look into hiring a nanny."

"But we already have Birdbrain here," Jack remarked as he jerked a thumb at Crow.

"I said nanny, Jack, not ninny," Akiza clarified.

"You both suck," Crow grumbled in an annoyed tone.

"Why do we need a nanny?" Yusei asked.

"Well I could certainly use some help in raising Alphonse," Akiza explained, "And it wouldn't hurt to have an extra set of hands around the penthouse to help with Leo and Luna."

"We can look after ourselves, Akiza," Luna said as she and her older twin brother Leo came walking into the dining room. Sitting down at the table with everyone else, Luna added in a somewhat cocky and self-amused tone, "Well, _I_ can look after _my_ self. Leo here needs to be supervised regularly."

"Actually, Luna," Kalin remarked, "With all due respect, the guys, Crow's girlfriend and I all believe that Leo is the more responsible and well-behaved between the two of you."

"But Leo is the male sibling!" Luna pointed out, "Whenever there are two siblings who are close to each other in terms of age, and one is a boy while the other is a girl, the girl is _always_ the more intelligent, mature and trusted of the pair!"

"What about those twins who we befriended over in Gravity Falls?" Crow asked, "Dipper is way more intelligent, mature and trustworthy than his older twin sister Mable."

"I'd also be willing to say the same thing about the two fourteen-year-old twins who live next door," Jack said, "You know, Ailor and Zack Fisher. Although that's mostly because Ailor's Pokémon have been known to kill people, and as far as I know the girl has yet to do a goddamn thing to rein her Pokémon in."

At that moment, there was a knock at the front door, to which Yusei and the twins responded. When Yusei opened the door, he was surprised to see the two neighbor kids, Ailor and Zack, standing there. Ailor looked the same as she did when she encountered the guys back at the now abandoned Gripling mansion. As for Zack, he had skin as fair as his sister's and hair as blonde and long. Zack wore a red long-sleeved shirt (the sleeve ends hung loosely about the wrists) under a black men's tank-top, black cargo shorts (with red trim and threading), white socks, and red shoes that had black flame patterns on the sides.

"Ah, well if it isn't the Fisher twins," Leo said in a welcoming tone, "Right on time, might I add."

"You invited them over, Leo?" Yusei asked as he allowed the wonder twins to show the Fisher twins into the penthouse.

"Well, Leo invited Zack and I invited Ailor," Luna clarified.

"Sorry if we're a little late," Ailor replied, "But I needed to feed David before we came over."

"David?" Yusei said questioningly.

Taking a pokéball off of her belt, Ailor tossed it up, calling out a shiny Gliscor in the process. Gesturing to the shiny Gliscor, Ailor said, "This is David." Ailor's Gliscor cried out a greeting to Yusei after he was introduced.

"That's the Pokémon that Akiza said crapped in my mouth when it flew overhead that one time!" Jack exclaimed as he got up and walked over. (1)

"You did remember to send Mr. Atlas the apology card for that incident, right?" Zack said when he turned his head to face his twin sister.

"I was supposed to receive an apology card?" Jack remarked aloud.

"…I'll choose to take that as a no," Zack remarked dryly.

"I was going to send it but Myde ate it!" Ailor insisted.

"Myde is Ailor's Empoleon," Luna clarified to Yusei and Jack, as well as Crow and Kalin when they came walking over.

"So why did you kids invite the neighbor kids from next door over?" Kalin asked the wonder twins.

"Leo and Luna told Zack and I that the four of you go to some rather far-off places on the regular basis," Ailor began, "Is that true?"

"All the time," Crow replied in a self-amused tone, "Why do you ask? You two need a lift somewhere?"

"I'd like a lift to Sinnoh so I can put Cynthia in her place," Zack remarked, his tone and expression taking on a somewhat annoyed and bitter hint, "I would like to see how Cynthia does when I send Tsukune out against-"

"No, Zack," Ailor said in an understanding tone, "No. We need a lift to Danville."

"Danville?" Yusei repeated in a mildly confused tone.

"Danville," Ailor repeated in a confirming tone, "You see, I used to belong to a girl scout-esque group called the Fireside Girls. Specifically, I belonged to troop number 46321. Anywho, my old Fireside Girl troop is in need of my help, and the current leader of my old troop, some girl by the name of Isabella, found out that I was the ace of troop 46321 prior to my family and I moving out of Danville. She looked me up and asked me to pitch in."

"And your brother will be coming along, I take it?" Yusei asked.

"Ailor told that girl she talked to over the phone that she'll be getting fourteen helpers for the price of one," Zack explained, "Although it would have been nice if she at least cleared it with me first." (2)

"I know that feel, young man," Jack remarked to the fourteen-year-old boy.

"So, you kids need a trip to Danville, eh?" Crow said to the neighbor kids. Turning to face the other guys, Crow said, "Dudes, I know what we're going to do today!"

" _I hate it when Birdbrain says that_ ," Jack thought as he facepalmed.

* * *

Later, Yusei's Volkswagen van drove out of a tear that appeared in the fabric of space outside on the sidewalk next to a house in the residential area of Danville. Yusei and the guys all got out of the Volkswagen, followed by Ailor and Zack. Pulling out a small sheet of paper, Ailor checked it and the address of the house they appeared next to right when the tear in the fabric of space vanished. "Yep," Ailor said as she slipped the sheet of paper back into her back pocket, "This is where that Isabella girl lives."

"Well why don't you and your brother head over and knock on the door?" Yusei remarked, "The guys and I will wait right here by the Volkswagen."

"I'm surprised that you sirs are willing to go through so much trouble for the sake of my sister and I," Zack remarked in a mildly amazed tone, "Even though I'm technically only along since my assistance was volunteered."

"Preaching to the choir, here," Jack remarked before Ailor and Zack walked up to the front door of the address Ailor was given. After the female twin knocked on the front door, it was answered by a young girl with fair skin and long black hair. The girl wore a white t-shirt over a pink dress, and she also wore a pink bow in her hair.

"Are you Isabella Garcia-Shapiro?" Ailor asked the girl.

"Yes," the girl replied, "And you would be?"

"I'm Ailor Fisher," Ailor explained, "I talked to you over the phone." Gesturing to Zack, Ailor added, "And this is my younger twin brother Zack."

"Oh!" Isabella exclaimed in mild surprise, "I didn't expect you to get here so quickly!"

"Well the guys who gave us a lift have rather unconventional means of transportation," Zack explained as he stepped to the side so that Isabella could see Yusei, Jack, Crow and Kalin standing outside of the Volkswagen van.

Squinting her eyes, Isabella looked at the guys and the van for a few seconds before returning her attention to Zack. "…Is that a fully-restored Volkswagen van?" Isabella asked, "Cool! Hey, do you think you can get the guys who gave you two a lift to help out as well?"

"It's up to them, but we can ask them if you want," Ailor replied before she led Isabella and Zack back over to the Volkswagen van.

"What's up, kids?" Yusei asked.

"How would you sirs like to help fireside Girl Troop number 46321 with their latest task?" Isabella half-asked half-offered.

"…Huh," Jack remarked to the other guys, "You know, helping some kids' scouting troop with their little scouting things actually sounds rather laid back, compared to the other shenanigans that my friends and I have gotten ourselves into as of late. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't mind pitching in."

"Yeah, that sounds nice, I suppose," Yusei agreed. To Isabella, Yusei said, "Your parents know what you're up to, right?"

"Telling my mom what the Fireside Girls and I have planned today was the first thing I did," Isabella replied.

"What do you and the other girls in your troop have planned anyway?" Kalin asked.

"We inducted a new member into our Fireside Girl troop yesterday," Isabella explained as she took out a small photo, "Her name is Heather." Isabella handed the photo to Yusei and the guys so they could see; it was a photo of an Asian girl around the same age as Isabella. She had very fair skin, somewhat long dark brunette hair in a hime cut, and wore a lavender t-shirt over a cream-colored long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of glasses with lavender colored frame. The photo didn't show anything below the waist.

"Well she seems like a nice girl," Yusei remarked as he handed the photo back to Isabella, "Seems to be one of those overly shy girls, in my opinion."

"She _is_ overly shy, sir," Isabella replied with a somewhat concerned look on her face, "The other Fireside Girls and I want Heather to be friends with us, but she's having some trouble coming out of her shell. That's part of why I called Ailor in. I was hoping that, as an older girl who's a veteran of the Fireside Girls, Ailor would be able to help."

"Say no more, young lady," Ailor said in a self-amused tone as she jerked a thumb at her chest, "Just leave everything to your good ol' Ailor-senpai."

"So, tell us, oh-wise-and-knowledgeable Ailor-senpai," Zack remarked in a snarky tone, "What wonders do you have in mind?"

"Shove it, bro," Ailor replied. As the female twin gave some thought to what could be done to help the new Fireside Girl overcome her shyness, two boys came walking over. One had orange-red hair, wore a white and orange stripped shirt, blue shorts, white socks and blue shoes. The other boy had green hair and wore a cream-colored shirt, a pair of purple pants, white socks and black shoes.

"Hey, Isabella," the orange-haired boy greeted in a friendly tone, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, hi Phineas," Isabella replied, "I called in an older girl who was in my Fireside Girl troop before I joined to help me and the other girls."

"'Sup?" Ailor greeted when she waved at the orange-haired boy, apparently named Phineas.

"This is Ailor," Isabella said to Phineas while gesturing to Ailor, "She, her twin brother, and these four guys who gave them a lift here to Danville are going to help the Fireside Girls and I get Heather to come out of her shell and be more confident."

"Isn't Heather the name of the girl who just joined your troop?" Phineas asked.

Nodding once in the affirmative, Isabella explained, "Heather is a really nice and sweet person, but she's got this shyness problem, you know? The girl even said that she's never even been to a petting zoo before!"

"That's terrible," Phineas remarked, "The animals at petting zoos are harmless, friendly, and let pretty much anyone pet them. It's a calm environment that would help anyone break out of their shell." Suddenly, Phineas looked as if struck by inspiration, which was highlighted by him snapping his fingers. Turning to face the other boy, Phineas said, "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

"What do you have planned, little dude?" Crow asked the young orange-haired boy.

"We're going to set up a petting zoo so Isabella and the other Fireside Girls can help Heather come out of her shell," Phineas explained.

"Well that sounds charmingly adorable," Kalin remarked, "I'm guessing that you kids are just going to gather your pets all in someone's backyard and set them up in separate pens to make it look like a petting zoo, huh?"

"Actually, we're going to have to get some bunnies, some Guinea Pigs, a few small chickens, and a goat," Phineas replied as he counted off on his fingers, "Maybe a pony if we can manage to swing it in."

"Ooh, a pony would be perfect, Phineas!" Isabella gushed.

"Oh, you kids and your imagination," Kalin remarked in an amused tone as he waved his hand in a dismissive manner.

"They'll actually do it," a somewhat older female voice called out, "Phineas and Ferb will seriously set up a full-blown petting zoo with all of the animals that Phineas just mentioned." The guys and everyone else saw a teenage girl walk over. She had long light orange hair, and wore a red tank-top, a white shirt, red socks and white shoes. "I'm serious," the teenage girl said, "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised in the least if they also got ahold of a cow, a horse, some pigs, a llama and who knows what else. Heck, they can probably get their hands on a freaking elephant for all I know!" (3)

"Those are some good ideas, Candace!" Phineas remarked as he pointed to the girl.

"You know this girl?" Yusei asked the orange-haired boy while gesturing to the teenage girl.

"Oh, this is Candace," Phineas explained to the guys, "She's me and Ferb's older sister."

"How long do you boys think it will take to get the petting zoo ready?" Isabella asked.

"Well first we have to write up a list of the animals we're going to get," Phineas explained, "Then we'll need to set up pens to hold all of them. We'll also have to get ahold of food for them, not to mention-"

"Young man, relax," Ailor interrupted in a cool, casual tone. Gesturing to herself and Zack, Ailor said, "My brother and I have you covered."

"You do?" Phineas asked in an amazed but curious tone.

"We do?" Zack said in a confused tone.

"Hells yeah," Ailor said to Phineas, "You just worry about finding some place to set up twelve pens of various sizes."

"…Oh no," Zack muttered, knowing full well what his older twin sister had in mind.

* * *

Later, Yusei and the guys, along with Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Ailor and Zack all stood in the backyard of Phineas's family where a full-blown petting zoo had been set up; the aforementioned twelve pens were set up, there was a concession stand, a restroom, anything and everything a petting zoo could possibly need, aside from the animals to pet.

"Wow, kid," Ailor remarked to Phineas and Ferb, "You and your brother sure work fast."

"You should see them on their good days," Candace remarked dryly, more to herself than to anyone else in particular.

"Well then, we got the petting zoo set up," Phineas said to the female twin, "Now all you have to do is keep up your end of the bargain."

To her brother, Ailor said, "Alright, let's bring them out, Zack."

"Fine," Zack replied as he and Ailor each took six pokeballs off of their respective belts and tossed all of them into the air, calling out their respective entire parties all at once. Ailor had called out an Empoleon, an Electivire, a Magmortar, an Abomasnow, a Gliscor and a Dialga. Zack had called out an Infernape, a Staraptor, a Lucario, a Roserade, a Garchomp and a Palkia.

"There you go, boys," Ailor said, "What do you think?!"

"What do I think?" Phineas replied in a mildly shocked tone as he took a step back. Unable to further hide his excitement, Phineas nearly exclaimed, "I think that this will be the coolest petting zoo ever!"

"D-d-d-deities," Candace stammered in a shocked tone as she pointed to Dialga and Palkia, "Th-Th-those are deities."

"Preaching to the choir on this one, Candace," Kalin remarked at the side. (4)

"Okay guys, listen up," Ailor said to all of the Pokémon, "We got us an important job today. You see, there's this young girl who, although a nice, kind kid that other kids her age want to be friends with, is rather shy and withdrawn. That's why we've set up this here petting zoo. Your parts in this plan is that you'll be the critters the girl comes here to pet. Sound cool?"

All of Ailor's Pokémon cried out in agreement with the plan, although Zack's Pokémon weren't as enthusiastic about following a plan that wasn't Zack's. Knowing this, Zack said, "It's okay, everyone. We're doing this to help someone in need." Hearing that Zack was on board finally got all of his Pokémon cheering in agreement. Before long, Ailor and Zack had led their respective Pokémon to the various pens, each of them occupying one pen each.

"Well then, now that we have the petting zoo ready, now would be a good time to have Isabella and the Fireside Girls bring Heather over," Yusei remarked.

"Well we still have to set up the both where people can come by to get treats to feed to the- Hey, wait a minute," Phineas said, deviating midsentence as he looked around, "Where's Perry?"

"Perry?" Crow repeated in a mildly confused tone, "Who the fuck is Perry?"

"He's me and Ferb's pet platypus," Phineas explained, "The little guy always seems to wander off at random times each and every day, although he does show up again before it gets too late."

"Speaking of pets that wander off only to return before the day is out," Zack said as he looked to an empty pen in which one of his Pokémon was supposed to be, "Where's Leni?"

…

Perry the platypus entered his secret agent lair and ran to his chair, where he sat down before turning on the monitor to receive his latest mission from Major Monogram. The monitor activated, and the first thing Perry saw was Major Monogram drinking from a mug of coffee. "Mmm," Monogram said as he enjoyed the flavor of his coffee, "Whoever it was that said that Hazelnut creamer covers up all sins had it right on the mon-" Monogram stopped midsentence upon seeing that Perry was already seated; the major even spat out some of his mouthful of coffee in surprise.

"Major, you got hazelnut coffee all over the camera lens," Carl the intern said in a tone that was one part disgusted and nine parts complaining.

"Just get a few paper towels, a spray bottle of glass cleaner and everything will be fine," Monogram said. Carl quickly stepped into the camera's point of view, wiped off the coffee with a paper towel, spritzed the lens with the glass cleaner, then wiped that clean with another paper towel. After Carl walked out of the camera's point of view, Monogram said to the camera, "Sorry about that, Agent P. I wasn't expecting you to show up so quickly."

A picture of Dr. Doofenshmirtz appeared on Perry's monitor in the upper right corner. "Anywho, Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to some nefarious scheme as per usual. He's been reported buying twelve-thousand jars of creamy peanut butter flavored with honey." After a second of silence, Monogram continued with a mildly confused look on his face, "Umm, we have no damn clue whatsoever what he has planned, but since it's a Doofenshmirtz plan, it cannot be good. Go find out what it is and stop him."

Perry gave Monogram a salute before hopping off of his chair, running over to the wall, grabbing a jet pack, and putting it on before flying out of his secret base. After Perry had left, Monogram could be seen on the monitor looking at his coffee mug. "Hey Carl, do we have any more of that Hazelnut creamer left for the coffee?" Monogram asked, "Because I could go for another mug of joe."

* * *

Back in Phineas and Ferb's back yard, Yusei, the guys, Candace, Ailor and Zack watched as Phineas and Ferb led a group of kids into the backyard. Leading the group of kids was a troop of Fireside Girls in their uniforms; Isabella, with new girl Heather next to her, led the group. "Wow, we weren't expecting this many people," Phineas remarked to Isabella.

"Well when people heard that there was an amazing new petting zoo filled with creatures never seen before, they all decided to come," Isabella explained.

"Y-yes," Heather stammered in agreement with Isabella, "There s-s-sure is a lot of p-people."

"Hey Phineas," said one of the Fireside Girls, "Can we take notes on what we see here?"

"Oh my gosh, Gretchen is right girls," Isabella said to the other Fireside Girls, "We still need to earn our Unique Wildlife Study patches!" (5)

"And it will be Heather's first patch!" Gretchen pointed out, leading the other Fireside Girls in a happy cheer. Heather, although clearly looking nervous, still seemed happy.

"Well right this way, ladies," Phineas said as he and Ferb proceeded to lead the Fireside Girls through the Pokémon petting zoo, "The tour will now begin!"

The guys and Candace watched as Phineas and Ferb led the Fireside Girls into the petting zoo, with Ailor and Zack going along to help educate the kids about any particular Pokémon they may ask about. "Ah, nothing cuter than seeing a child getting excited over heading into a petting zoo," Crow remarked. Turning around to face the rest of the group, Crow continued, "What do you all think?"

"Deities," Candace said with a wide-eyed expression, her tone clearly conveying that she was shocked into a kind of stupor, "Deities in my backyard."

"Now you know how I feel," Kalin remarked dryly.

* * *

Over at Doofenshmirtz's Evil Incorporated, Perry the platypus crashed through a window and into Doofenshmirtz's lair. The scientist himself, who was standing in front of a manmade bee hive while wearing a bee keeper outfit, turned around out of alarm due to hearing someone break into his lair.

"Perry the platypus!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed upon seeing his nemesis. Doofenshmirtz reached into his beekeeper outfit and pulled out a remote control that had only a single red button on it. The scientist pressed the button, and a giant cage that resembled a bear-shaped squeeze bottle of honey fell on top of Perry, trapping the semi-aquatic secret agent.

"You are too late to stop me, Perry the platypus," Doofenshmirtz remarked, "But since I have you trapped here, I might as well tell you the backstory of my latest scheme." Turning around, Doofenshmirtz said, "You see, Perry the platypus, I had once tried to get into the beekeeping business. You know, to make my own honey…"

A flashback appeared, showing a younger but still adult Doofenshmirtz standing outside next to a manmade beehive. "I would have made a killing at the farmer's market, you know," the scientist's voice said in a voice over during the flashback, "Anywho, my efforts were thwarted by the greatest challenge any up and coming beekeeper could ever face- BEARS!"

In the flashback, Doofenshmirtz turned around to get something, but when he turned back around, he saw his hive knocked over and a bear eating up all of the honey. The bear turned around, noticed Doofenshmirtz and roared angrily at him, scaring the man off. The flashback then faded, returning everything to the scene in Doofenshmirtz's lair. "So, you see, my latest scheme will make it so that no beekeeper will ever have to deal with bears ever again." The scientist walked over to a machine covered by a white sheet.

"Behold," Doofenshmirtz exclaimed as he pulled the sheet off, revealing a giant laser cannon, the barrel of which resembled a jar of peanut butter with the pointy nozzle of a squeeze bottle, "The peanut butter-inator!" Patting the side of his latest 'inator', Doofenshmirtz said, "You see, with this, I shall cover all the bears in the tri-state area with creamy peanut butter! They will be so busy trying to get the peanut butter out of their fur that they will leave the beekeepers alone! And I made sure to use peanut butter flavored with honey, to make absolute sure that the bears are distracted, because bears love honey!" The scientist then proceeded to laugh evilly.

Perry pinched the space between his eyes in frustration; if he were able to talk, he would have pointed out how ridiculous this plan was. …Well, actually, he would have pointed out how ridiculous most of Doofenshmirtz's plans were. But this one had the unfortunate bonus of being weird and, quite frankly, rather disturbing.

* * *

Back at the petting zoo that Phineas and Ferb had set up in their backyard, Isabella, Heather and Gretchen were standing outside of the pen that held Zack's Infernape. "Wow, you don't see one of these every day," Isabella said to Gretchen and Heather. Turning to face Zack, who was with them at the time, Isabella asked, "You have a really cool Infernape. What's his name?"

"Her name is Chi-Chi," Zack explained, pointing out his Infernape's actual gender

"Oh, it's a girl Infernape?" Gretchen replied in an amazed tone, "That's even cooler! The girls are incredibly rare compared to the boys!" (6) The bespectacled Fireside Girl proceeded to take out a camera and take a picture of Chi-Chi the Infernape.

"My Lucario Leni is also a girl," Zack pointed out to the Fireside Girls, "And she would have been in the pen next to the one that Chi-Chi is in. But for some odd reason, Leni wandered off before the petting zoo was opened."

"Wow, just like Perry," Isabella remarked in a mildly amused tone. As the girls and Zack talked, Yusei and the guys came walking up.

"So, girls, how's it going?" Yusei asked.

"The p-petting zoo is really n-n-nice," Heather stammered nervously, "I-I-I think that-EEP!" The shy Fireside Girl let out a nervous cry before jumping to hide behind Isabella. The other two Fireside Girls, Zack and the guys watched as Phineas walked by talking to one of the random kids that showed up for the petting zoo. It was a boy around the same age as Phineas, Ferb and all of their friends; a fair skinned boy about as tall as Ferb, the boy had long, spiky yellow-blonde hair, blue eyes, wore a yellow long-sleeved shirt under an orange t-shirt, orange cargo shorts, and black boy's sandals.

After Phineas and the boy that he was talking to walked past, Heather stammered out of nervous fright, "I-I-is he gone?"

"Who, you mean the boy talking to Phineas?" Isabella asked, "Why do you ask? Has he been picking on you?"

"Oh no, not at all," Heather replied, "Umm, oh, how do I put this…Umm, Isabella, do you know what it's like to have your heart stolen by a boy?"

"You're preaching to the choir on that one, girl," Isabella said, "Seriously, I could go on about Wait a minute!" Deviating midsentence, Isabella turned to face the new Fireside Girl and said, "Heather, do you have a crush on that blonde boy that was with Phineas?"

"You mean Duncan?" Heather replied. Sighing in a resident tone, Heather said, "Yes. I do like him. As in, like him like him."

"This is the greatest!" Isabella squealed excitedly. Grabbing Heather by her right hand, Isabella said, "Come on, Heather! Let's go get you together with whatever that boy's name is!"

"Wait!" Heather cried out in worried alarm as she was dragged off by Isabella, who was being assisted by Gretchen. As the girls wandered off, Zack turned to face Yusei and the other guys.

"The last time that Ailor brought home a boy that she was interested in, Mr. Popo killed that boy," Zack said to the guys.

"Mr. Popo?" Yusei repeated in a confused tone.

"Ailor's Magmortar," Zack explained, "Of course, I was able to piece together that Mr. Popo killed that boy because he took a cookie that Mr. Popo wanted."

To the other guys, Jack said, "Boys, I'm starting to think that setting up a petting zoo consisting of Pokémon, some of which have killed human beings before, is a very terrible idea." (7)

"Hey, it was my sister's idea to use our Pokémon as the creatures in the petting zoo," Zack defended.

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's lair, the scientist himself was preparing to activate his latest -Inator device. Seeing Perry struggle to get out of the trap, Doofenshmirtz laughed evilly. "There is no hope to escape, Perry the platypus," Doofenshmirtz said, "The bars of that cage are made up of one-hundred percent pure-"

Doofenshmirtz was cut off when a bluish-colored sphere of energy blasted into the one side of the cage's door, busting it open and allowing Perry to escape. "But how?!" Doofenshmirtz nearly exclaimed out of shock as he and Perry turned to see, of all things, a Lucario standing about a dozen feet away from them. "A Lucario?" Doofenshmirtz said in a confused tone as he scratched the side of his head, further highlighting his confusion. Without missing a beat, the Lucario put on a fedora that looked identical to the one Perry wore, save for the fact that it was sized to fit a creature much larger than a platypus.

Gasping in shock now that he recognized the latest arrival onto the scene, Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, "Leni the Lucario?! What's someone from your sector doing here?! Pokémon agents aren't reported to have any work anywhere near the tri-state area!"

Leni the Lucario cast an Aura Sphere attack at Doofenshmirtz's latest -Inator, smashing it to smithereens. "No! My peanut butter-inator!" Doofenshmirtz cried out as he threw his arms up into the air. The machine having been destroyed caused a number of other smaller devices in the lair to combust on their own, prompting Perry and Leni to run out of the lair for their own safety. "Curse you, Perry the platypus!" Doofenshmirtz cried out as his lair started to fill up with smoke from all of the breaking devices, "And curse you, Leni the Lucario!"

Once the two agents were safely outside of Doofenshmirtz's lair, Perry walked over to where Leni had a briefcase on the ground. Opening it, Leni revealed a mini monitor, on which the face of her direct superior in the organization she belonged to appeared. It was Professor Birch from the Hoenn region, but he was dressed exactly like Major Monogram.

"Ah, there you are, Agent L," Birch said to Leni, "Sorry if I look a bit disheveled. You see, I was being chased. I assumed it was a Pokémon chasing after me, but it was just my own wife. Well anywho, how did the mission go to take down that Doofenshmirtz fellow?" In response, Leni gave the professor slash secret agency boss a thumbs-up (or the Lucario version of one). "Great work, Agent L," Birch replied, "You just saved thousands of peanut butter sandwiches all over the Hoenn region from suffering a terrible fate."

Leni then moved to the side somewhat, allowing for Birch to see Perry. "…Oh yeah, I did hear rumors that agents from the O.W.C.A were operating in the area your mission was in," Birch remarked, "I suppose I need to meet with Major Monogram about this. Either way, you did excellent work, Agent L. Dismissed." Both Birch and Leni shot each other a salute before the mini-monitor in the suitcase turned off.

Closing the suitcase, Leni collected it and got up. Turning to face Perry, Leni gave him a nod of acknowledgement, which the semi-aquatic creature returned in kind. The two secret agents then took off, going their separate ways. Little did they know that they would meet again, as they both had the same destination…

* * *

Back at the petting zoo in Phineas and Ferb's backyard, Heather was standing next to Duncan as the two looked at the pen in which Zack's Garchomp stood. "…Huh," Duncan said as he looked at the little sign affixed to the outside of the pen, "It says here that you can tell if a Garchomp is male or female by taking a look at the fin on its back. Male Garchomp have a notch in their fin while female Garchomp lack fin notches."

Seeing a notch in the fin on Zack's Garchomp's back, Heather remarked in a somewhat nervous tone, "Well, I guess this Garchomp is a boy, then." Looking at Heather, Zack's Garchomp walked up to the edge of the pen he was in. Bending down to be at Heather's level, the pseudo legendary Pokémon nuzzled against the shy Fireside Girl's face, making her giggle.

"Wow, he seems to like you," Duncan remarked, "You must be pretty awesome if random creatures trust you right off the bat like that."

"Y-you think I'm awesome?" Heather asked, stammering nervously

"Well why not?" Duncan replied, prompting another giggle out of Heather. As the two kids were talking outside of the Garchomp's pen, Yusei, the guys, Zack and Isabella were watching.

"This is so sweet," Kalin remarked, "I always love happy endings like this."

"The day's not over yet, sirs," Phineas said as he came walking up carrying a tray of cupcakes, "The Fireside girls are being really nice in helping Heather break out of her shy shell, so I figured that I make cupcakes for them. I made more than I anticipated, so I'm handing them out to whoever wants one." Holding the tray with his left hand, Phineas picked up a cupcake and handed it to Isabella while saying, "Here you go."

"Aww, thanks," Isabella replied as she received the cupcake from Phineas. At the insistence of Phineas, the others proceeded to grab cupcakes, leaving only one left on the tray.

"Mmm, that was good," Yusei remarked to Phineas, "And you're really the one who made them?"

"Well I used a recipe from my mom's cookbook," Phineas admitted, "But everything else I did myself."

"Well young man, I'd certainly say that your efforts would do your mother proud," Kalin said, drawing a nod of agreement from Yusei.

"Aww, thanks," Phineas replied. As the group talked, Ailor's Magmortar Mr. Popo saw the last cupcake on the tray and was instantly mesmerized by it, deciding right there and then that he would be having that cupcake. However, to Mr. Popo's annoyance, Yusei took and ate the cupcake. This angered the Magmortar so much that he used Psychic to levitate the closest large object that his psychic powers could locate, a car parked in a parking lot next door to the house where Phineas and Ferb lived, and flung said object at Yusei. The car landed right on top of Yusei, crushing him to death. (8)

"My goodness!" Isabella exclaimed, "Is Mr. Fudo going to be okay?!"

Jack leaned to his side and noticed the small pool of blood trickling out from underneath the car. "Yeah, I don't think that Yusei is going to be able to walk this off anytime soon," Jack remarked as he straightened himself out.

Hearing a cry sound out from over where his sister's Magmortar stood, Zack turned to face that direction. Seeing Magmortar apparently celebrating, Zack sighed and said, "Yup, Mr. Popo did it again. I'm guessing that he probably wanted the last cupcake, and upon seeing Mr. Fudo take it, he must have been unable to resist the urge to commit petty murder." After Zack finished his explanation, his Lucario walked in out of nowhere. Noticing that his Lucario had finally come back, Zack said, "Oh, there you are, Leni."

After that, Perry, in his mindless-pet mode, walked in out of nowhere and made his customary chittering noise, getting his owner's attention. "Oh, there you are, Perry," Phineas remarked.

END, CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Author's Notes:

(1) …Well it _would_ be rather hard to forget if something like that happened to you.

(2) Ailor, plus all six of her Pokémon, plus Zack, plus all six of _his_ Pokémon, equals fourteen.

(3) As she is talking about Phineas and Ferb, she's not unjustified in believing this.

(4) Although Kalin _was_ happy that someone finally agreed with him that two young teens each owning a deity was a pertinent subject that needed to be addressed.

(5) Due to the nature of Fireside Girls patches on the show, I actually had to look up a list of all the different kinds of patches just to make sure that the patch that I came up with for this chapter wasn't already a patch.

(6) As a member of an evolutionary family of starter pokemon, Infernape has a gender ratio of eighty-seven-point five percent males to twelve-point five percent females.

(7) Ailor's Sinnoh pokemon have killed before. And they will kill again.

(8) ...What did I tell you?

Well there's chapter eighteen done and over with. The Pokémon that appeared in this chapter, as well as various chapters that appeared beforehand, are based off of Pokémon that my sister and I have on our games in real life, nicknames included. Now that I have this chapter out of the way, I can get to work brainstorming ideas for what direction I can take chapter nineteen in. And when _that_ chapter is out of the way, I can do chapter twenty, which will be another milestone chapter in which the guys don't visit any show in particular.

Here's hoping that the next chapter won't DESTROY US ALL!


End file.
